by Claire Adams
"I don't think it was." I struggled to catch her other hand and hold on. "In fact, it felt like the only thing I've done right in a really long time."
"You're here with Ellison," Tasha hissed.
"Only because you brought the hero to a bad romance novel," I said. "And how many times am I going to have to tell you that I'm not with Ellison?"
Tasha's cheeks were flared red, and I knew she had sharp words waiting to flay me with, but the curtain suddenly opened. She had no choice but to put her hand in mine and walk with me to the podium. The band stopped playing, and every eye in the place turned to us.
I didn't let go of her hand. Even after I'd given the charity gala crowd a two-minute run-down of GroGreen and our successful community garden, I held on to Tasha.
She waited until we were shrouded behind the curtain again and snatched her hand back as if I'd burned her. "What were you thinking? Are you trying to cause a scandal?"
"We presented a united front," I said. "In fact, we should probably stick together for a few more minutes. People might want to talk to both of us about the community garden and the campaign."
Tasha slapped back my offered hand. "I'm not going to play the 'other woman' in your social media fairytale. We just work together, and that's it."
"What are you worried people are going to think?" I took a step closer.
Tasha backed up until she brushed against the curtain. "Holding hands is not something co-workers do. People are going to think we're intimate."
"Holding hands is nothing. You know what feels intimate?" I asked. I leaned forward. "This feels intimate. We're hidden from sight back here. Just you and me."
For a split second, Tasha softened. Even in the dim light backstage, I could see her cheeks warming. I lifted one hand to feel the heat of her blush, and Tasha leaned her soft cheek into my caress. My other hand found her waist, pulled her forward just an inch. Our lips were a breath apart.
"No." Tasha pushed me back. "You're with Ellison, and I don't care if it's just for tonight or not. I'm not going to be part of this merry-go-round of women you've got."
I clutched the velvet curtain in a fisted hand. "Stop trying to jam me into some little box," I said. "I'm no more the incurable playboy than you are the ice queen. I know it's easier for you to dismiss me if I'm defined, but I'm sick of it. Tasha, please, please see that I'm more than that."
"What? Am I supposed to believe you're a changed man?" Tasha asked. "Do you have any idea how cliched that is? I won't fall for it. So, what in the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I'm trying to talk to you!" I let go of the curtain and let both hands curl into fists.
Tasha arched an eyebrow. "Fine. Talk. Tell me what you really want. What do you want from me, Rainer?"
Those words coupled with her challenging look stopped me. Tasha had finally caught me without a speech prepared. The truth was I didn't know exactly what I wanted from her. And she deserved a man who knew exactly how far he was willing to go for her. I didn't deserve another chance with Tasha. I didn't even deserve to hold her hand.
"Nothing to say?" Tasha asked. "Then how about you let me talk for a minute?"
"Fine, but I'm not done," I said.
Tasha tossed her hands in the air. "But that's what we really should be talking about. It's over."
I could have hit myself in the head for not noticing it before. I'd been so distracted that I hadn't thought through why Stan wanted us to make a quick speech at the gala.
"The community garden project is done?" I asked.
"Don't feel bad, Rainer," Tasha said. She chucked me on the shoulder. "You got what you wanted out of it. You're a billionaire, and everyone loved our outreach campaign. Now, you can celebrate with a wild spending spree or a trip around the world, or whatever you want."
"Did Stan say it was over or did he cut the funding?" I asked.
Tasha's sudden frown belied her calm voice. "The funding is done, and our presence is expected back at the office. 100%."
She fled before I could ask her how she felt. All I could do was stand there in the dark behind the heavy curtain and wonder what I was going to do next.
Chapter Thirteen
Tasha
"I'm not saying your dress isn't perfect," Ivy said. "Just let me know next time, and we'll get you something truly haute couture."
I thanked our waiter as he laid down the gold-embossed menus. Since Ivy was intent on studying all the charity gala photographs online, I left my menu unopened. "I was assured that I could never go wrong with vintage Valentino. Plus, it's just a black dress."
"A drop-dead gorgeous dress." Ivy gasped again. "Wow. That is a low back."
I laughed and tried to snatch her phone away, but my friend was too fast. "Ivy, stop. Please!"
"Oh, no, definitely not. Now I know why there's a buzz going around. It seems Ms. Ellison Ramsey has been knocked off her society pages throne. There's half a dozen photographs of you, plus more with you prominently in the background." Ivy looked at each one. "And a lot of you with Rainer Maxwell."
"We work together," I said.
Ivy put her phone down. "Yes, dear, I know you work together. What I didn't know is that you looked that great as a couple. I mean, no wonder the paparazzi were snapping photographs. You look pretty cozy."
I opened my menu like a shield. "Please tell me I can order a drink with lunch."
"Yes. How about a nice Riesling? We'll have the whole bottle at the table," Ivy told our attentive waiter. He bowed and moved off through the linen-draped tables. "Whatever it takes for you to tell me the whole story."
I knew I couldn't put Ivy off. There wasn't much that she didn't get one way or another. Plus, outside of my pregnant and preoccupied sister, Ivy was the only one I had to confide in. Still, I tried to distract her. "Do you think I should have a shrimp salad?"
Ivy shook her head. "We don't order off the menu, darling. The chef will send something out with his compliments. Now, tell me."
I plucked at the tines of my silver fork. "What's to tell? There was an attractive man and a lapse of judgment, but we work together, so it was a mistake. One that will never be repeated. Did you hear me? Never."
"Oh, yes, I heard you. Sorry, Tasha, but saying 'never' twice is a sure sign it'll happen again." Ivy gave me a sympathetic smile and laid off until the waiter had filled our glasses.
I took a sip of the crisp wine and tried again. "One mistake is enough for me."
"But did you get enough of Rainer?"
"Ivy!" I felt a blush heat my cheeks and had to force cooler thoughts. "Besides, I'm in between projects now at work, and I really have to focus."
"What happened to the community garden?" Ivy asked. "I think that brilliant bit of PR is one of the reasons you ousted Ellison from the society pages. You managed to turn public opinion one-eighty, and now no one can get enough of you. Not even—"
"Don't say his name," I said. "All I can think about right now is why Stan would cut off the funding so abruptly."
Ivy gave a delicate wave to a notable couple not far from us. "If funding is the only problem, just give me five minutes. I have enough friends in this room alone to fund ten more years of that darling garden."
"No. No, thanks. I'm sure Stan had his reasons. I mean, he's right. The whole point of GroGreen and the campaign was to show that communities could do this on their own," I said, hoping to convince myself.
Ivy was not fooled. "It's important to you. Why not throw in some of your own hard-earned money and I'll match you dollar-for-dollar? How expensive can it be?"
I sighed. "To keep a national campaign going across multiple media is much more than you'd think. Plus, I'd like to update the application with message boards and ways for the community gardens to share photographs and plans. That means paying a development team and my team is definitely not cheap."
Ivy held up her glass. "Well, then here's to kicking in some serious money. I'm not kidding, Tasha, you name your figure, and I'll match
you. Then we'll get at least three more tables to do the same without even getting up."
"Thanks, Ivy." I smiled at my audacious friend. "The only problem is that I don't have anything to contribute. My finances are, um, not liquid anymore."
Ivy raised one perfectly groomed eyebrow. "What have you done, Tasha?" she asked.
Now my cheeks were bright red. "I invested it all and only left myself what I earned last year."
She caught my dodging gaze and leaned forward. "And why did you lock away all your newly made billions?"
I took another long sip of wine and tried to sort it out in my own mind. "It felt like a lot of pressure. I'm sure you felt it when you got married. All of a sudden everything's different when really it's just a lot more numbers in your bank account."
"And what did you do before this big decision?" Ivy asked.
"What do you mean? Why?" I searched my memory. "I was at work and my useless assistant was calling out tabloid headlines. I got up to shut my office door and just decided."
Ivy was not convinced. She saw that I had suddenly paled. "Rumors like Rainer getting engaged to Ellison?"
I wanted to cry; the connection was so sudden and so awfully true. I had invested all of my money as some sort of spiteful response to Rainer's personal life. "Oh, god, Ivy. Why am I ruining my life?"
She patted my hand and refilled my wine glass. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't think you're the only one doing crazy things. I mean, Rainer is refusing to get engaged to Ellison. Ellison Ramsey! You're both nuts."
Ivy's words stuck with me long after we finished our three-course lunch and said goodbye at the valet stand. I went back to work and was horrified to see Rainer chatting with Otto. He jumped up as if he'd been waiting for me.
Otto leaned on the security desk and grinned. "Hello, Ms. Nichols," he called. "We were just talking about you."
The absolutely last thing I wanted to see was the speculative expression on my friend's face. Actually, second to last. Rainer was the one person I wanted to avoid at all costs. I tried to wave politely and keep walking. My plan was to hit the regular bank of elevators and lose Rainer in the crowds returning from lunch.
It backfired when I walked towards the executive elevator and the doors slid open. I had to step inside or Rainer would know I was avoiding him on purpose. I turned around just as he slipped in the doors. I saw Otto wave as the doors closed. It was just Rainer and me in the elevator.
At least it's an express to the top floors, I told myself.
"So, what are we going to do?" Rainer asked.
"Excuse me?" I gasped.
Rainer's expression broke into a surprised grin. "Sorry, wasn't trying to be suggestive. But if you have a different idea for this elevator ride then, please, elaborate."
I wished I could slip through the floor and back down to the front doors. "What are we going to do about what? Oh, you mean the community garden?" I asked.
"Well, now that you mention it—"
I cut Rainer off. "I'm heading up to meet with Stan right now. First I want to hear his reasons for cutting off the funding, and then I'll decide which path I have to take."
Rainer's eyes slid to the stop button and then back to me. "Wait, two paths? What are you talking about?"
His mind was clearly on other things, things that made my heart stumble around. I cleared my throat. "Stan knows by now that I love the GroGreen project, so I only have two choices: fight or beg."
Rainer leaned against the elevator wall and smiled at me. "So, you don't want to move on yet either?"
"I thought you were ready to move on from the first moment you walked into our team meeting," I said. The words hit home, and I felt bad for making Rainer wince. "I'm just surprised that you liked all the extra work."
"Watching preschoolers plant carrots was not what I'd call work. I enjoyed it," Rainer said.
I blamed the express elevator for the sudden lightness in my head. "I love it. Plus, it's great for the company, and I just have to make Stan see that."
Rainer stopped my babbling by standing up. He was suddenly too close. "So, you're going to fight. Does that mean I should beg?"
"What?" I blinked up at him and forgot what I had said.
"Well, it seems to me that your advice for getting what you want is to fight for it or beg. So, Tasha, tell me which one I should do." Rainer's gaze locked onto me.
He was serious. Very serious. But I worried he wasn't talking about the GroGreen project anymore.
It was all too much. The elevator was too tight and warm. Rainer was too close and causing too many thoughts to swirl around my head. I felt like a geyser about to erupt.
I didn't know what else to do, so I got angry. "This is all a game to you, isn't it?" I asked him.
Rainer took a step back and hit the stop button on the elevator. It lurched to a halt as he asked, "Are we talking about work or the rest of it?"
"The rest of it?" I practically screeched. "There isn't anything else. You just want what you can't have. And you must think I'm some kind of moron that I don't know as soon as I give in, you'll get bored and move on. I'm not doing it."
"You really think I'm heartless, don't you?" Rainer said. He restarted the elevator, and we made it to the executive floor in mere seconds.
The doors slid open before I could control my breathing. "I don't know what to think," I said. "So, I'm going to work."
I shoved past him and headed straight for Stan's office. When my mentor saw me, he finished up his phone call in record time. Then he pressed the button to shut his office door and went to his bar cart. I waved off a stiff drink and Stan handed me a bottle of water.
"This can't all be about the funding for your public outreach, can it?" Stan asked. "Just tell me what you want, Tasha, and we'll get it sorted out."
My eyes blurred but I refused to sniffle. "I don't know. I should. I did. But now I don't."
Stan sat down in the hard-backed chair next to me and reached for my hand. "So, take a minute."
I shook my head and blinked back the tears. "No. Ridiculous. I just need a new project to focus on. Where do you need me?"
"Work can wait," Stan said.
"Work is the only thing I know how to do."
My mentor stood up and paced around his desk. "Then listen to your boss, Tasha. My decision still stands. GroGreen is done. Call it a success. You can go back to public outreach and community work on your own time, but I think you should give the whole situation a little breathing room."
"Whole situation?" I asked.
Stan sighed. "I hear rumors too, you know. You and Rainer getting to know each other was great for the company at the start of your campaign. But, now, I think it's, ah, confusing?"
I gave him a weak giggle. "You're just mad the rumors aren't about us anymore."
"Just say the word, my dear. One kiss, even just a peck on the cheek, and everyone would forget about you and Rainer," Stan said.
"Desperate measures?" I joked.
"There's my Tasha." Stan hit the button that opened his office door. "Now, get to work. Pitch me a new project by the end of the day."
I walked out of Stan's office feeling more steady than I had since lunch. Until I saw Rainer.
I panicked and walked in the opposite direction. On the other side of the executive floor, far from the spacious offices with amazing views, was a maze of cubicles where all the assistants and executive team members worked. It was a regular route for me as I often had memos and correspondences to give to Stan's assistants, but it seemed like everyone was watching me. Eyes peeked over the edges of cubicles, sliding away from computer screens to watch as I bustled by trying to look busy.
Rainer followed me. A few calculated turns amongst the cubicles, and it was obvious that he was chasing me. I acted casual, waved at a few people I knew, but my pace was too nervous and fast.
I imagined if I turned and double-backed that Rainer would try to cut me off. I didn't want to end up face to face with him i
n the middle of a vast audience of co-workers. So, I pretended my phone was ringing and dove into a nearby break room to answer it.
My hope that Rainer had missed my fast dodge was destroyed when he strolled into the break room after me. I was still holding my phone to my ear and held up a finger as if I was listening to someone who could not be interrupted.
I made one last effort to skirt around Rainer, but he blocked the door.
"Great, yes. I'll make a note of it. Thanks," I said to my inactive phone. "Excuse me. I have to get back to my office. Stan wants a new project pitch by the end of the day."
Rainer grinned and stood firm in the doorway. "You know that avoiding me shows you have feelings for me, right?"
I caught my phone before it clattered to the floor. "What? I don't have feelings for you, and avoiding you has nothing to do with that."
"With what?" Rainer crossed his arms and leaned on the door frame. "The fact that we had one fantastic night together?"
My cheeks blazed at the thought of someone overhearing us. I grabbed Rainer's arm and dragged him into the break room. He stepped forward willingly, and I found myself pressed up against the small kitchenette counter.
"You're blushing. Your pulse is jumping. Why can't you just admit you're attracted to me?" Rainer asked.
"What good would that do?" I asked.
Rainer smiled and leaned closer. "See? It's questions like that, plus that merry little office chase, that make me think there's something here we still need to explore."
I shoved against his chest hard. "You're just bored. Most people find a new project when they're bored at work. It's a hell of a lot more professional than looking for another conquest."
He frowned at that but did not move back. "What if I'm not looking for another conquest? What if all I've ever been looking for was right here?"
I wiggled out from the counter, fueled by the anger I felt. How could he mess with my emotions like that? "You practice that line at home?" I asked.
Rainer grabbed my arm and swung me around. His lips crashed against mine and a wave of desire tumbled over me. When he broke the tumultuous kiss, his eyes flashed. "Tell me you didn't feel that."