by Ivy Layne
I knew it wasn’t my fault.
I understood that having the bad judgment to marry a man like Anthony didn't mean that I’d asked for what had come after. He’d been so charming when we’d met, he completely swept me off my feet. I’d been too young and inexperienced to see the truth. And I hadn't deserved anything that had happened. I knew that.
Knowing it wasn't my fault didn't mean I trusted my own judgment. And even if I did, my best judgment told me Gage Winters was the last man I should be thinking about.
So what if he set my body on fire? So what if this was the first time I'd ever felt real lust for a man?
Was it worth risking my job?
And even if I didn't care about my job, which I did, Gage was not a safe bet. He was clearly suffering from post-traumatic stress and had admitted himself that he wasn't entirely stable.
With my history, the last thing I needed was to get wrapped up in some guy who couldn’t control himself. Too much risk. Too much danger. Too much everything. I owed myself more than that. I had to be smart, and kissing Gage Winters was not smart.
Chapter Nine
Sophie
My alarm woke me only minutes after I finally fell asleep. I dragged myself from bed feeling hollow and fuzzy. A hot shower didn't do much to help. I covered the circles beneath my eyes with makeup, knowing Amelia would spot the camouflage and scowl at me.
Having never suffered insomnia a day in her life, Amelia was of the firm conviction that all I needed to do was close my eyes and simply fall asleep. As if I hadn't tried that a million times. I braided my wet hair and pinned it into a bun. Buttoning a carefully ironed camp shirt and tucking it into my jeans, I wished for a uniform, for something that would clearly divide me from the rest of the household and remind everyone that I didn't really belong here.
Gage wasn't at breakfast, but surprisingly, Aiden was. He was usually out of the house by the time Amelia and I went in to eat. When I entered the room, he said, “Sophie, I'll be leaving town on business for a few days. I'd like to have a short meeting in my office before I go. After breakfast.”
“Of course. Just let me know when you're ready.”
He rose from the table, folding his newspaper to take it with him. Sending Amelia an affectionate smile, he said, “No rush. Enjoy your breakfast and when you're done stop by my office.” To Amelia, he said, “Behave yourself while I'm gone.”
Amelia smiled a Cheshire grin and winked at me. It was pretty much a guarantee that Amelia would not behave herself while Aiden was gone, but then Amelia never placed a high priority on behaving herself at any time.
I did my best to keep her under control, for her own health if not the sanity of everyone else living here, but secretly I loved her irrepressible sense of mischief. I envied it.
I was a lot of things. Responsible. Dutiful. Loyal. I was not mischievous, and I noticed that people who were, people like Amelia, always seem to be having more fun. Fun had never been a big priority in my life, but maybe it should be. Maybe I was doing this all wrong.
A quick glance around the palatial dining room reminded me that it was all well and good for people like Amelia Winters to be lighthearted and mischievous. She had a family fortune to pay her bills. I'd been responsible because I'd needed to get scholarships if I wanted to go to college for nursing school and after that, I had to work hard to keep them.
I couldn't afford to lose my job because I thought every day should be more about fun than hard work. I adored Amelia Winters. I truly, honestly did. But she and I were playing from a different set of rules, and I couldn't forget that.
We finished breakfast, and I settled Amelia in front of the fireplace in the library before crossing the short hall to Aiden's office. He looked up from his desk with a quick smile and gestured to the chair in front of him, saying, “Sophie, take a seat.”
I did and waited. “One second,” he said, looking back at the paper in front of him, making a few small notes and quickly scanning the words, his dark eyes flashing back and forth rapidly before he signed at the bottom and neatly placed the paper to the side.
Aiden Winters wasn't the type of man to make you sit and wait as a power-play. That was one of the many things I liked about working for the Winters family. They were wealthy, and powerful, beyond my conception of it, really. But they weren't all caught up in their egos, didn't feel the need to prove anything to anyone.
In the six months I'd known him, Aiden had been honest, forthright, and fair. Yet again, I reminded myself that I did not want to lose this job. I felt a trickle of fear that somehow Aiden knew what had happened in the kitchen the night before and had called me in here to fire me.
But, no. If Aiden were going to fire me, he wouldn't have smiled at me and told me to take my time at breakfast. I'd seen Aiden unhappy before. He didn't lose his temper, didn't rage and throw things. No, when Aiden Winters was angry he went icy cold.
I tried to relax. Finally, he looked up with another smile and said, “Sorry to ask you in here and make you wait. I wanted to finish going through those documents while they were fresh in my mind.”
“It's no problem. Amelia’s settled in the library, and we don't have any plans this morning.”
Aiden rose from behind his desk and crossed the room to close the door to his office. When it was securely shut, he turned and went back to his seat behind his desk. “Amelia has ears like a hawk,” he said in explanation.
I couldn't help laughing. “When she notices you closed the door, she may go get a water glass to hold up against it,” I said.
Aiden grinned in response, and I couldn't help grinning back. Aiden was so often serious, almost grave. He carried so much on his shoulders and didn't smile as much as he should. When he did, he was almost painfully handsome.
Not my type. His beauty was refined, elegant, austere. After Anthony, that style of male good looks would never spark my interest, but I could appreciate the view all the same. Especially knowing that Aiden was no Anthony. He was a good man who loved his family.
“We’d better talk fast before she gets back here with that water glass,” he said. “I just wanted to check in with you that everything is good. Her occasional pranks aside, Amelia's well?”
I laughed again. “As much as they can be inconvenient, I'd say her occasional pranks are one of the signs that Amelia is doing very well. As you've probably noticed, she's still resistant to her adjusted diet, but she's been sticking to it for the most part, and we've been able to keep her blood sugar under control with diet, which is very important at this stage. We've been doing exercises every day, a combination of yoga and walking and floor exercises to enhance her flexibility. We haven't been able to use the pool now that the weather has changed, but overall I've been pleased with her progress. She has excellent mobility for her age.”
“That's good to hear. I'm very glad you're with us, Sophie. I knew when Amelia moved in that I wouldn't be home as much as I'd like, but work has been even more hectic in the last few months than I'd expected. It’s reassuring to know that she's not only looked after, she has a friend.”
My cheeks heated at his praise. Truthfully, I said, “Amelia is easy to like.”
A laugh exploded out of Aiden, surprising both of us, I think. After he got his mirth under control, under his breath, he said, “Tell that to Mrs. W.”
I shrugged a shoulder and shook my head. “Mrs. W is a special case.”
“I haven’t missed the way you run interference between them, and it's appreciated. They're both very important to us. Amelia, obviously, is family. So is Mrs. W, and I know that all of us were concerned there'd be fireworks with those two in the same house no matter how big this place is. You've done an admirable job keeping the peace.”
“It helps that Mrs. W has her cottage. If she lived in the house itself I think that would be too much temptation for Amelia,” I admitted. In a low voice, in case Amelia was listening at the door, I asked, “Do you know why they dislike each other so much? Neithe
r of them will tell me.”
Aiden shook his head, more in resignation than denial. In an equally low voice, he said, “It's an old story, and I'm giving you this secondhand so I don't know how accurate it is, but you know Amelia left home years ago and moved to the West Coast to be with Janice, her partner?”
I did know. It was common knowledge, and Amelia spoke often of Janice, who had died a few years before after a very long battle with cancer. Janice had been the love of her life, and though Amelia played it down, I could only imagine the uproar when, decades ago, one of the premier debutantes in Atlanta society had run off to California with another woman.
Her family hadn't cut her off financially, but the older generation had made it clear she wasn't welcome home. It was obvious that none of their children agreed because the Winters family I knew openly adored their aunt Amelia.
“We've talked about it, quite a bit,” I said, in answer to Aiden's question. “Is that why Mrs. W doesn't like her?” I asked carefully. I adored Helen Williamson but I wasn't sure how that adoration would hold up if she disliked Amelia for being gay. Aiden gave a sharp shake to his head, dispelling my worry.
“No. No, she doesn't. We've talked about it, so I know that's not it. But, based on a conversation I overheard between my mother and Mrs. W years ago, I got the impression that Amelia overheard comments Mrs. W made about her and completely misinterpreted them. My mother tried to run interference and explain, and Amelia accused her of sticking up for Mrs. W.
“Which she was, but she was doing it truthfully. Mrs. W would never admit it, but she'll never like Amelia. She likes order, and proper behavior, which makes her perfect to keep all of us in line, but will always set her against Amelia, who lives to cause trouble.”
“Those two are polar opposites,” I agreed. “I think I get along with them both because I appreciate order and proper behavior, but I like a little mischief. Amelia keeps me from being too serious.”
“Me too,” Aiden agreed, sending me a wink. We smiled at each other, in friendly harmony, when the door swung open. I turned around, expecting Amelia. My smile froze when I saw Gage scowling down at me, his arms crossed over his broad chest.
His eyes flicked from Aiden to me and back again. His scowl deepened, the lines around his mouth hard, his eyebrows dark and drawn together. His skin looked a little pale, and he had circles under his eyes. I knew without asking that he hadn't slept since I'd seen him last.
I glanced to Aiden and saw that his smile was gone, his face frozen. Expressionless. Raising one eyebrow, he said to Gage, “Can I help you with something?”
His tone was so chilly, instinctively I wrapped my arms around my chest. Something was very wrong between Aiden and Gage. It wasn't my business. It couldn't have been any less my business. This wasn't my family. But Amelia and Charlie both told stories of Aiden and Gage as children, how close they’d been. Closer than cousins. Closer than most brothers. They weren’t close now.
Ignoring Aiden, Gage said to me, “Did you tell him? About last night?” My heart froze in terror. Of all my worries about that stolen kiss, it had never occurred to me that Gage would be the one to rat us out. My heart restarted in my chest when he said, “The sound we heard?”
I bit my lip, clawing back my composure, and finally said, “Oh, no, I hadn't mentioned it.”
Gage's eyes studied me for a long moment before he said to Aiden, “If you and Sophie are done, I need to talk to you.”
“I think we're finished here,” Aiden said. I stood, and before I could flee the room, he said, “Sophie, I'll be out of town for the rest of the week, but if you need anything you have my numbers.”
Nodding to both of them, I said a quick, “Thanks, have a good trip,” before I made my escape from the cold tension between the two men.
Chapter Ten
Gage
“You and Sophie shouldn't be alone in here with the door shut,” I said, ignoring the look of surprise on Aiden's face.
It wasn't what I'd planned to say. I wasn't there to talk about Sophie. But they’d looked far too cozy behind that closed door, smiling at each other as if they shared an inside joke.
I didn't want Aiden alone in a room with Sophie, laughing with her, and sharing jokes with her. Aiden was all wrong for Sophie. He was too cold, too controlled.
“I was having a private meeting with an employee,” Aiden said, dryly. “You should know that I would never engage in inappropriate behavior with a woman who worked for me, especially one who works in this house.”
I knew what he was getting at. What he was implying. I wasn't taking the bait. Just in case I'd missed his point, Aiden went on, “Please tell me you're not bothering Sophie.”
I didn't answer. Anything I said would either be a lie or start a fight. Aiden's eyes narrowed on me, his expression icy. “Sophie is a valuable member of our staff. Aunt Amelia considers her a friend. We are not going to do anything to jeopardize her position in this household. Do you understand?”
“So she's just an employee? Then what were you two laughing about in here?” I asked, knowing I sounded both jealous and a little unhinged.
I couldn't help myself.
Impulse control had been just one of my problems since I'd gotten home. Normally, I could match Aiden's icy stare with one of my own. Not now, and not when it was about Sophie. The memory of their shared laughter grated on my nerves.
“Our conversation is none of your business,” Aiden said, flatly. “Now, what did you need to see me about?”
I wasn't ready to drop the topic of Sophie.
“If you're going to have meetings with Sophie, you should do it with the door open,” I insisted, knowing I sounded ridiculous.
Aiden visibly gritted his teeth. “There is nothing going on between me and Sophie. She is an employee, and I was getting an update on Amelia which necessitated a closed-door because Amelia is nosy. Everyone in this house knows that, and the only one who thinks it's suspicious or inappropriate is you. Which makes me wonder exactly what's going on between you and Sophie.”
My hands dropped to my sides, my fingers curling into fists. I couldn't bring myself to lie, not to Aiden, but I wasn't going to reveal any information that might compromise Sophie. I settled for saying, “Sophie hasn't done anything wrong.”
“I never thought she had. Stay away from her, Gage. We can't afford to lose her. Amelia would never forgive you.” Sitting back, he flipped his pen over in his fingers. In a low voice, he said, “I haven't looked into the details, but my understanding is that she had a very bad marriage before her husband died. According to Amelia, she hasn't dated since. The last thing she needs is to get involved with a man she can't depend on. Leave her alone.”
Between the mention of Sophie's bad marriage, the direct order to stay away from her, and the very thinly veiled accusation that I couldn't be depended on, I was ready to launch myself across Aiden's desk and start swinging my tightly clenched fists.
Impulse control.
I wanted to hit him so badly I could feel the impact of his cheekbones on my knuckles. Feel the crash as I took him from his oversized desk chair to the floor.
I don't think I ever wanted to hit someone in my entire life as much as I wanted to hit Aiden right then.
It took every ounce of willpower I had to stay where I was, my fisted hands at my sides, my jaw tight. I didn't like hearing that Sophie had suffered through a bad marriage. I really didn't like Aiden ordering me around. But the worst, the hardest to swallow, was Aiden implying that I was undependable. Because he was fucking right.
I wasn't myself. It had nothing to do with Sophie. I knew I shouldn't have kissed her in the kitchen, but I wouldn't take that back for a million dollars.
One kiss.
It couldn't have lasted more than a few minutes. I could still taste her in my mouth, feel her sweetly curved body under my hands. I could've kissed her for hours.
But Aiden was right; I was undependable. I didn't know if he was referring to my
running out on the family twelve years before, or the fact that I'd come home a fucked up mess, but either way he had a point.
And it burned even more that he was right about her being an employee in our home. She didn't work for me. I hadn't hired her. But I was a Winters, and we signed her paycheck.
This had never been a house where a woman at work felt vulnerable. Never.
My grandfather, my father, my mother, Uncle Hugh, Aunt Olivia—all of them had made it clear that our staff was to be respected and treated as professionals at all times. There was no chasing after the maids when I was a teenage boy, no matter how pretty they might be.
I didn't want to walk away from Sophie. Since I'd come home, she was the only person who made me feel like me. Ironic that the one human being in this house who made me feel at home was one who technically didn't belong here.
It killed me to admit that Aiden was right. Sophie deserved better. I wasn't saying I wouldn't pursue her, but now was not the time. I had to get my shit together. There was always the chance that once I was back to normal, this insane attraction would fade. Maybe something in my subconscious was just grasping at Sophie because she felt safe.
Maybe. But I didn't think so. I wasn't myself, I knew that. But the way I was drawn to Sophie, it was more than a reaction to stress. I closed my eyes, remembering the scent of her skin, sultry and sweet. The sound of her laugh, joyful and clear.
Sophie was mine. I could give her space. I could wait until I was in better shape to pursue her, but she was mine.
Opening my eyes, I sent Aiden a level look as I took a seat opposite him and said “I'm not going to bother Sophie. But I'd better not find out you are behind my back.”
“Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?” Aiden asked in a dismissive tone.
“No. I couldn't sleep last night, and I went to the kitchen. Sophie was up, and we were talking. We heard a noise, sounded like someone knocking something over. Were you awake?”