Drive-By Daddy & Calamity Jo

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Drive-By Daddy & Calamity Jo Page 19

by Cheryl Anne Porter


  “I’m a student of human nature,” he continued in that dry tone, but there was a spark of enjoyment in his eyes. “I was trying to figure out what would make people buy a hat decorated with a cactus.”

  “Uh-huh,” she said. “I think you’re here on an investigation, and I came to offer my help in exchange for an exclusive interview when the investigation is finished.”

  He gazed at her for several seconds. “If I was involved in an investigation—which I’m not—I wouldn’t need help from you or anyone else. I work alone.”

  Even though she’d tried to fool herself into thinking otherwise, Jo believed that was his usual way of doing things. She wondered if she could run a bluff. “That probably works well in Phoenix where you know people, but you might want to rethink your tactics here in Cochise County. You know how it is in little towns—it’s not what you know, but who you know.”

  He didn’t fall for it, but he did release her wrist. He leaned against the doorpost and crossed his arms over his chest. “In this case, it’s neither one. I’m here on vacation. So why don’t you go away and let me get on with it?”

  Surreptitiously, Jo rubbed her wrist. If this guy ever had to capture a criminal, he wouldn’t need handcuffs. She managed to keep from saying that aloud. Instead, she kept her mind on the story she was sure would launch her into the career for which she was so perfectly qualified. “Then why don’t I treat you to the best barbecue in Calamity Falls?” she asked brightly. “As a way of welcoming you to town. May Ling Schultz over at the Lotus Blossom makes fabulous spareribs.”

  “May Ling Schultz?”

  “Chinese-German, by way of Dallas.”

  “I see.” His eyes narrowed as if he was debating with himself about taking her up on her offer.

  Jo met his gaze and felt the tingle once again. Wait. Maybe it was lust instead. She wondered how good she would be at seducing the story out of him. She dampened her lips and let them fall open in invitation, then allowed her eyelids to droop in a sultry manner.

  He squinted at her. “You seem to be breathing through your mouth. Are you having trouble with your adenoids?”

  “Certainly not!” What was he, a doctor in his spare time? She tried the sultry look again.

  “Is there something wrong with your eyes, or are you trying to fall asleep standing up?”

  “Neither,” she said, giving up and glaring at him. “I was…thinking. How about that barbecue?”

  “No, thank you, Ms. Quillan…”

  “Jo, please,” she corrected him. “If you change your mind, let me know. I mean, you have to eat. Give me a call. My number’s in the book.”

  He looked relieved to be getting rid of her, but he asked, “Do you invite all newcomers out for meals?”

  “No, just the ones I want to interview.”

  His jaw tightened. “Go away. I have a meeting…” Her eyes lit up as if someone had set off a roman candle inside her head. “A meeting? Why don’t I come with you?”

  “Because I don’t want you to.” he answered firmly. “And because it’s for men only,” he added, then paused as if he regretted having added that last part.

  She latched onto it like a robin on a worm. “A meeting for men only? Where?”

  His exasperated gaze swept over her. “In case you haven’t noticed, you’re not a man. What you are is the most damned persistent woman I ever saw.”

  “That’s what makes a good reporter.”

  Case reached into his pocket for a key. “Well, Ms. Good Reporter, do you want to know what makes a good detective?”

  His question had her scrambling for her notebook and pen. “No, what?”

  “The ability to keep one’s mouth shut.” He said it as if he was reminding himself of that fact, then unlocked the door of the Tiger’s Eye room and slipped inside with a wink at her annoyed expression. He shut the door in her face and she stared at it for a second as she resisted the urge to give it a childish kick. It wouldn’t do any good and besides, there was no point in marring Sharon’s careful paint job.

  She turned away knowing the encounter hadn’t gotten her anywhere. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe the way he’d been acting on the street today was normal for him, but the way he’d been watching that group of people…

  Jo’s steps slowed, then stopped. Those people. The man in the dark brown fedora that sported a red feather.

  Her head jerked up and she stared straight ahead as it came to her. She’d only seen one person in town with a hat like that. Dr. Harold Purdy. That’s what his name was. She didn’t know if he was a real doctor or not, but he seemed like yet another of the harmless eccentrics who had gravitated here. He’d moved into a house on Nugget Street and begun cultivating a friendship with some of the other newcomers.

  Jo hadn’t met him yet, but she knew a number of people who said he was a fascinating man. She’d also heard he was leading some kind of men’s meeting up on Rattlesnake Mesa tonight just after sunset—and no women were allowed.

  With a speculative gleam in her eyes, she hurried down the hallway. She’d just see about that.

  “THIS IS THE MOST INSANE thing you’ve ever done,” Lainey grumbled as she knelt and tried to stitch up the hem of the slacks Jo was wearing. “And where in the world did you get these pants?” she asked as she tried to take up what seemed like yards of fabric at the bottom of the legs.

  “The thrift store,” Jo admitted. “I thought about simply wearing my own jeans, but…”

  “You wear them too tight for them to be able to disguise the fact that you’re a woman.”

  Jo grinned. “Something like that.”

  Lainey finished one hem and started on the other. “Wouldn’t it be simpler to ask this Dr. Purdy to let you observe and report on his meeting tonight for the Ingot? After all, it might be of local interest.”

  “I tried that. Even tracked him down at that house he’s rented, but he sent another man out to say no, that the meeting’s private.”

  “Which, of course, made you all the more curious and determined to go, right?”

  “You know my motto.…”

  “‘Idiocy Above All Else’?”

  “No, ‘Obstacles are Made to be Overcome.”’

  “I’ll remember to suggest that for your tombstone,” Lainey grumbled.

  “My curiosity’s aroused. I tried to talk to this man who calls himself Professor Purdy but he wasn’t home.”

  “Probably out looking for people to attend his rally.”

  “I went next door to ask Starina Simms if she’d seen anything suspicious, but she said no.”

  “Starina wouldn’t see something suspicious unless it was attached to the end of her own nose. She’s too involved in her quest for a perpetual-motion machine. How’s that coming, by the way?” Lainey asked around a mouthful of pins.

  “She says she’s almost got it this time.” Jo grinned. Starina had been saying the same thing for years, ever since she’d left her job as an engineer with an aerospace firm and moved to Calamity Falls.

  At last Lainey sat back and viewed her handiwork. “This is only tacked up, so don’t do anything foolish like try to run in them.” She stood and turned Jo around so she could see herself in the mirror. “I don’t know about this,” she said.

  “I do.” Jo gave her outfit a critical look. Baggy tweed slacks held up with a belt, a man’s dress shirt, several sizes too big, tucked into the slacks, and a loose suitcoat to top the whole thing off. She was grateful that it hid her figure successfully, and that the October evening would be cool enough to give her an excuse to keep the jacket on. She picked up a black billed cap, pulled her ponytail up on top of her head, and settled the cap into place.

  “There,” she said in a tone of satisfaction. “I did some more checking on Dr. Purdy this afternoon. I think I look exactly like the kind of down-on-my-luck guy who’d be interested in listening to him.”

  Lainey shook her head as she viewed the mismatched outfit. “Down on your luck? You look like your
luck packed up and left town.”

  “Good. That’s exactly what I want.” Jo leaned close to the mirror and examined her smooth jaw. “Now, how do I make myself look like I haven’t shaved in several days?”

  “A fake beard?”

  “Nah. It might fall off, and besides, where would I get one at this time of day?”

  “I read somewhere that Hollywood makeup artists sometimes use glue to apply coffee grounds to the face to look like a beard.”

  Jo grimaced. “I don’t think so, even though you would obviously have a ready supply of them. And wouldn’t that give me a rather distinctive odor?”

  Lainey rustled in Jo’s makeup case. “How about if we resort to the old tried-and-true eyebrow pencil?” Holding Jo’s jaw between her thumb and forefinger, she made careful marks, then smudged them with her thumb. “Do you want sideburns?”

  “Sure, throw them in, too,” Jo said recklessly. In spite of Lainey’s skepticism, Jo was sure this was a great idea. She could find out what Case was investigating without him ever knowing it. She could blend in with the other people there and never be noticed. It would work perfectly.

  “THIS ISN’T GOING to work,” she muttered an hour later, as she finished the climb up to the top of Rattlesnake Mesa and saw that there were only about ten men there. They were backlit by a huge bonfire that had been built in the clearing, so they were easy to count. She had expected to get lost in the crowd, but this “crowd” was more sparse than she’d expected it to be.

  Professor Purdy was moving among them, shaking hands, making them welcome. Jo, who’d never seen him up close before, thought he was a handsome man. He appeared to be in his late forties or early fifties and was very self-assured.

  “In for a penny, in for a pound,” she muttered and started to walk across the mesa, keeping a careful lookout as she went. This place hadn’t gotten its name by accident and it was exactly the time of day when the rattlers would be heading back to their nests. She hoped she wasn’t walking down the middle of a snake freeway.

  Before she reached the light coming from the bonfire, she remembered to stop walking like a woman, square her shoulders, and put some swagger into her step. She planned to get close enough to Case to see if she could discover why he was investigating Purdy, but not so close he would recognize her. That might be a little tricky, but she consoled herself with the reminder that great reporters always took risks.

  Her heart was pounding in her throat and her hands were shaking, so she dug them into the pockets of her jacket, told herself that any good investigative reporter would be experiencing the same fear, and kept going.

  CASE LOOKED AROUND at the men who had assembled at the bonfire and wondered if they felt as foolish as he did. Most of the men were older, but there were a few who appeared to be in their twenties and had probably come to Dr. Purdy’s Way of the Unbroken Man rally purely out of curiosity.

  Case could see Purdy on the other side of the bonfire, pressing the flesh and greeting newcomers. He’d shaken Case’s hand and Case had managed to present a suitably deadpan expression that hadn’t aroused the other man’s curiosity. Purdy had a smile that looked genuine, serene and untroubled.

  The thought of trouble brought Jo Quillan to mind. Now there was trouble if he’d ever seen it. Too bad she was so blasted appealing. But he wasn’t going to think about that right now, he decided, concentrating on the other men gathered around Purdy.

  What about that latecomer? Case glanced at the guy who was sidling up to the fire. And why was he walking as if he was nursing a rash?

  The guy nodded to the men on both sides of him, then buried his hands in his pockets and his chin in the collar of his jacket. Shy and uncomfortable, Case thought, feeling a spurt of sympathy, and wondering if he would turn and run. In fact, the kid’s stiff posture told Case he was one breath away from being terrified.

  Against his better judgment, he decided to go over and speak to the guy. Wouldn’t do much for the manly image the kid was so obviously trying to project if he fainted dead away from fright. Carefully, Case strolled around the perimeter of the group just as Purdy began talking.

  “The modern world has broken men into fragments, tried to make something wrong and ugly of masculinity. This isn’t the fault of women, it’s our own fault because we let it happen. The Way of the Unbroken Man seeks to reconnect those parts that have been fragmented; body, soul, and spirit pulled back together in wisdom and strength.”

  He went on, but Case tuned him out momentarily as he concentrated on the most recent addition to the group. He eased up behind him and noticed that although the guy seemed to be listening intently, he appeared to be glancing left and right nervously. In fact, his attention seemed to be focused on the place where Case had been standing.

  Puzzled, Case stepped forward and whispered, “Don’t worry, buddy. I think this whole gathering is going to be pretty harmless.”

  Case! Jo jerked and made a sound like a gasp that turned into a cough as she raised her hand to cover her mouth. She reached up and tugged her hat down over her ears. Now he wanted to be friendly and chatty. Great!

  “Hey, are you okay?” Case asked, then frowned. “Has there been a weather report for a projected blizzard?”

  Jo dipped her chin further into her collar and answered gruffly. “I’m okay, thanks…uh, buddy.” She tried to edge away into the darkness. Darn! Why had she moved up so close to the bonfire?

  Case leaned nearer. “Well, if you think you want to get out of here, go ahead. Nobody’ll stop you.”

  Jo hunched her shoulders up and peered out at him like a turtle from its shell. “I’m staying till the end. I’m interested in what Purdy has to say.”

  “Suit yourself, but you don’t look like you belong here.” Case snorted. “Do you even know which end of the razor you use to shave with?”

  Jo’s harrumph made Case chuckle.

  Why didn’t he move away? Jo thought frantically. Leave her alone? It was the worst possible luck that Case would decide to show his compassionate side and try to comfort him. Uh, her. She gulped the bubble of hysterical laughter that was threatening to erupt.

  She wanted to find out why he was here, what he was investigating regarding Purdy. She didn’t want him investigating her.

  “I’ve been to one of these before,” Case whispered again. “This is the part where it begins to be really interesting.”

  “Oh?” Her voice shot up and she cleared her throat. “Oh?” she asked in a gruff tone. “What happens?”

  Purdy was holding forth on the need for men to retake their rightful place in society, to stop allowing the world, and the opinions of others, to dictate their actions.

  “Well, like I said, it starts out pretty harmless, but I think we’re probably coming up to the point where we get in touch with our inner Unbroken Man,” Case said. “We’ll hold hands and walk around the bonfire, repeating chants that Dr. Purdy has designed for that purpose.”

  Jo sneaked a sideways glance at Case. Was he kidding? Case definitely didn’t seem like the type to be holding other men’s hands and repeating chants. Still, how well did she know him? Was he investigating Purdy, or joining him?

  “Oh,” was all she could manage to say. She could do that. The holding-hands part might be a little bit dicey, especially if someone noticed that her hands were softer than they should be, but she could do it.

  Purdy’s voice rang out over the mesa and the wind began to pick up. The fire shot sparks into the air and the flames bent toward Case and Jo, driving them to step back out of danger.

  “That wind’s gotta let up a little before we can go on to the next part, though,” Case added matter-of-factly.

  “Why? What’s the next part?”

  “As soon as that fire dies down, we’ll be walking over hot coals.”

  “What?” She forgot to keep her voice low, so she snapped her lips shut and stared at him in dismay.

  His mouth turned down in a considering frown. “Oh, don’t wor
ry. He’ll demonstrate first, show us how to go into a trancelike state so that we don’t feel a thing. It’s amazing. I’ve seen it before, though I’ve never seen a group do it the way this one does.”

  Jo licked her lips and swallowed the cotton bale that was lodged in her throat. “How does this group do it?”

  “Naked.”

  Her throat squeezed like a deflating accordion. “Naa-a-a-aked?” she asked.

  “You know how us guys like to get together and throw the old testosterone around. Purdy says doing the fire walk naked is the only way to make it authentic.”

  “What if we don’t care about authentic?” Jo asked frantically.

  “Then why are you here?”

  “I’m beginning to wonder.”

  Case lifted his hand and clapped her on the back, almost sending her to her knees. He grabbed her elbow and propped her up. “Don’t worry, buddy, I’ll be right here, glad to give you help and support.”

  She didn’t need support. She needed to run. And this looked like a heck of a good time to do it.

  Jo eased her arm out of Case’s grip. “After listening to him, I don’t think Dr. Purdy’s message is for me. I’ll just be on my way.”

  “You can’t do that.” Case let go of her elbow, but tossed his arm around her shoulders in a companionable way. “This may be your only chance to get in touch with your inner Unbroken Man.”

  “Mine wants to stay broken,” she said, starting to panic when she glanced around and saw that the other men were beginning to form a circle and clasping each other’s hands. Her palms began to sweat.

  “Nonsense,” Case answered heartily. “You’ll never be a real man until you have this experience.”

  “I don’t want to be a real man.” Jo ducked away from him, turned and fled into the darkness.

  3

 

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