by Cathy Bryant
At first he had felt a bit guilty for having pushed Rebecca from his mind; however, he soon realized that it was as it should be. Rebecca was safely in the arms of her Lord. Sarah Anne was the one that needed him now. As he thought about it, he knew he needed her, too.
The morning came, and Sarah, as expected, set off for Alice Strout’s home. Martha stood helplessly in the doorway, praying her young mistress would come to her senses and cease from busying herself to such an extent, in the service of others. The elderly servant dearly loved the girl, and continued to be more than a little anxious about her welfare.
It had been twelve weeks since Alexander had set sail for Amesbury. On this day, at around noontime, he arrived at his home in Amesbury. In the two years Mr. Swyndhurst resided in England, his new wife had remained at his estate in Amesbury. Though he wasn’t certain what would come of his returning, he knew he had to at least try and make a go of his marriage.
As he entered the parlor, his servant-friend Martha looked up at the sound of someone approaching. Alexander smiled with delight at the sweet woman staring back at him. He had missed his old friend more than he had ever thought possible.
As her employer’s face came into focus, the elderly woman was completely stunned. “Mr. Swyndhurst! I…I had no idea you were coming home.
After chuckling at Martha’s reaction to his arrival, Alexander responded, “Martha, it is good to see you. As it was late when my ship arrived in Salisbury, I lodged there at the ordinary. I know I was not expected, but I thought I might surprise you, rather than send word of my coming.”
“That, you did,” she replied with a rather large smile. Martha had earnestly loved Alexander Swyndhurst ever since he was a boy. She had worked for his father when Alexander was very small. Following that, when, as a grown man, Alexander had removed from England to Amesbury, she had come along to continue looking after his needs.
“Is Mrs. Swyndhurst about? I should let her know I am here.”
“She isn’t here at present. As usual, she is out on one of her missions of mercy. Are you here for a lengthy stay, or shall you soon be returning to England?”
“In truth, Martha, I hope to be here for some time. I believe you are aware of the agreement that Mrs. Swyndhurst and I had made upon entering into our marriage; that is, that we would always live separately.”
Eyes wide, she nodded in affirmation, all the while wondering if her prayers had finally been answered. Has he at last come home to be with Sarah?
“Well, I am not at all certain that my wife shall be agreeable to my returning here to live, but that is exactly why I have come.”
It is as I had hoped. I believe he actually intends to stay on here with Sarah. A bit flustered, she questioned him in order to be sure she had understood him correctly. “Is that your plan—to remain here, in Amesbury?”
“Yes, that is my hope, Martha.”
As the elderly woman contemplated a moment about what might be the best approach for her employer to take with Sarah, she suggested, “Maybe you should not tell your wife right away. Give her some time to get used to you being around before letting on that you mean to stay.”
“You may be right. For the time being, then, I shall put off telling her.”
“Not that I am unhappy to see you, but what brought about this change?”
“After a time, my heart began to heal over the loss of Rebecca. With a clearer mind, I realized that it was not right that I had left my young wife alone. Oh, I know it was the agreement we had made, but maybe she has had a change of heart as well.”
“Or you may just scare the poor thing half to death when she comprehends the reason you have come.”
“You believe she shall not want me here, then?”
“No…no, she is not at all like that. She is eager to please everyone—too eager, in my opinion. I would not wish for her to go along with your plan unless it is what she desires as well. The difficulty is that we may never know what it is that she wants, as she is not likely to tell us. No matter what, Mr. Swyndhurst, I believe your place is here. But as for a marriage in the traditional sense, my advice is that you not rush the girl.”
“As you have suggested, I shall be patient and give her time to get accustomed to me before I divulge that I wish to alter our agreement. Where is she? In her bedchamber?”
“As I have said, Sarah is not here. She is at Alice Strout’s house for the day and most likely shall remain until late in the evening,” she replied, grimacing.
“Who is Alice Strout, and why are you unhappy about Sarah Anne going to her house?”
“Alice is a young widow with three children. She uses our girl very ill—in my opinion. Your wife goes over to help her several days a week. The woman takes great advantage of Sarah’s giving nature. But you must not let on that I said so. Sarah does not share my view on the matter. Mr. Swyndhurst, sit yourself down and I shall tell you all about your young wife.”
“Very well, Martha. As Peter is tending to my belongings, I shall remain here with you as long as you like. In truth, I am most grateful to learn whatever I can about Sarah Anne.”
“Are you hungry? I could go to the kitchen and prepare you something.”
“No need. I breakfasted in Salisbury.”
“Some tea, then?”
“No, I am fine, Martha. But I am anxious to hear all about Sarah Anne, so please do go on.”
After they each had taken a seat, Martha began, “First, let me say that Sarah wishes to be addressed simply as Sarah, not Sarah Anne, or even Mrs. Swyndhurst.”
“Very well. I am obliged to you for telling me. Please continue.”
“Certainly. To begin with, Mr. Swyndhurst, your wife is one of the most giving, loving, as well as self-sacrificing people I have ever known—even to a fault.”
“How can you find fault with such noble attributes?” Mr. Swyndhurst inquired with a furrowed brow.
“You shall soon see that your wife is so busy caring for everyone else that she takes little interest in seeing to her own needs.”
“There are others besides the Strout woman?”
“Indeed there are. A day or two every week she reads to Mrs. Johnson, our elderly blind neighbor. As I have said, three or four days a week she spends much of the day, sometimes late into the evening with the Strout family. Quite often, she visits the sick from church. When she has time, she even helps out the servants here with their chores. Believe me, that was not an exhaustive list. She finds many other things to do as well.”
“It sounds as if she does not have a moment to herself. Was this what you were alluding to in the first missive I received from you, after returning to England? I felt then that you were trying to tell me something. It was a little frustrating that you did not come right out and say what was on your mind. Since you never mentioned anything along the same lines again in any of your other missives, I allowed the matter to drop.”
“Yes…well…I began to believe it wasn’t exactly fair of me to burden you with it, as you were so far away.”
“Oh, well, that is understandable, I suppose,” Mr. Swyndhurst replied.
“As you are here now, I shall continue to explain what it was that I had been, and still am, concerned about. From what I have just disclosed, you may understand why I believe that Sarah is working herself into an early grave. I cannot get her to alter her schedule one little bit. She does not even take time to eat. You shall see what I mean the moment you lay eyes on her. She is nothing but skin and bones.” All at once, a grin came upon Martha’s face. Not that she was making light of the situation with her mistress, but she had just had a pleasing thought. “Mr. Swyndhurst, you might be just the one to take her in hand. Lord knows I have tried.”
Alexander grew concerned after listening to all that Martha had shared about his young wife. He had already lost one wife; he was not about to lose another. “I am much obliged to you for telling me, Martha. In time, I shall speak with her about all that she is doing. If she doesn’
t alter her activities, I shall simply insist that she abide by my wishes. I shall dislike having to be forceful about it, but I am not going to allow her to become ill simply because she is working too hard. You can depend on that!” After hearing himself speak concerning his wife, Alexander began to doubt what he might actually say to Sarah if she continued on as she had been before his arrival. Do I really have the right? It is not as though I have showed her any concern before now. To her, I am little more than a stranger.
Not aware of her employer’s thoughts regarding his right to require anything of his wife, Martha felt as though God had sent him along to take care of Sarah. That young woman needs direction, and he is just the man to do it. Whenever he admonished Rebecca, he handled her kindly, but firmly. That one was always a bit too full of herself—so unlike Sarah. Any reproving the first Mrs. Swyndhurst had needed was never for being too self-sacrificing. More often than not, it had been for speaking too sharply to one of the servants. I know Mr. Swyndhurst loved Rebecca, but Sarah—she is just such a dear. She shall be easy for him to love.
Following his conversation with Martha, disappointed that he hadn’t yet seen Sarah, Alexander retired to his bedchamber for a rest.
While her employer napped, Martha remained in the kitchen to await Sarah’s return. Late in the evening, looking much the worse for wear, the young woman finally came through the door.
Turning to her mistress, Martha said with a sigh, “You look simply dreadful! What kept you so long?”
With a tired smile, Sarah answered, “Thank you for the compliment. Alice was so exhausted I simply could not get away until now. In fact, I believe she is coming down with something. She was feverish all day. With their mother sick, the children needed someone to put them to bed.”
“Sarah, you are a lovely young lady, but when you are this spent, it is not that easy to perceive.”
“I am quite all right, Martha. I just need a little rest.”
“You say Alice was exhausted, what about you? Could she not see that you are done in as well?”
Mr. Swyndhurst had come down from his bedchamber just as the conversation in the kitchen had commenced. Given that Martha was scolding his wife, he decided it was best to wait a moment before going in. He was also curious to hear what Martha had to say, for he couldn’t remember her ever speaking in such a way to Rebecca, and he was quite certain that if she had, Rebecca would not have reacted as calmly as apparently Sarah was now. As things in the kitchen began to calm a bit, he entered. Moving into the room, he glanced down at the back of his wife’s head. Not wanting to interrupt, he stood silently behind Sarah and continued to listen.
“Martha, I am sorry that I continually cause you to worry. I really am trying to do better. It is just that the children needed someone to look after them with their mother feeling so poorly. Have some pity for her. After all, she is raising the children all by herself.”
By this time, Martha, though distracted by her conversation with Sarah for a moment, had noticed that Mr. Swyndhurst had come into the kitchen. Thinking about how her young friend might react to her husband’s arrival, she was now paying little attention to what Sarah was saying. Deciding to break the news, she said softly, “Sarah, your husband has come home.”
Stunned, Sarah asked, “When? Where is he now?” All at once, she heard Alexander clear his throat. It startled her so much that she gasped.
Answering her question, he replied, “I arrived last night. As it was very late, I stayed in Salisbury and set off for home after a leisurely meal this morning. It is good to see you, Sarah.”
By now, Sarah had turned around to face Alexander. Given the differences in their heights, the petite woman had to tilt her head up to look at him. “I was not aware that you were coming,” she said breathlessly. Feeling her face flush, she felt the need to distract herself from the panic that had arisen within her. While fiddling with her hands, nervously, she inquired, “Did you have a smooth journey?”
As Alexander answered Sarah’s question, he held out a chair for her. “Indeed, it was a fine journey. I decided to surprise you all rather than send word of my coming.”
While Martha bustled about preparing food for the couple to eat, Alexander took a seat at the table next to his wife. Before long, their elderly friend approached them with two trenchers full of summer vegetables, cold chicken, and fresh bread.
Seeing the food, Sarah began to protest. “Martha, you needn’t have gone to so much trouble. It is late. You should have been in bed hours ago. Besides, I believe I am much too tired to eat.”
Scowling, Martha glanced at Mr. Swyndhurst and then back at Sarah. “Sarah, you must eat something. I highly doubt that you have had anything at all to eat today.”
“I…ah…am certain that I have,” she responded while looking away from Martha’s penetrating gaze. Truth be told, she could not remember whether she had in fact had anything to eat the entire day. As she thought about it, she realized she actually hadn’t.
At this point, Mr. Swyndhurst and Martha looked at each other. Martha finally indicated by a nod that he should be the one to speak.
“Sarah, Martha informs me that you tend to pass your days without taking much food. It might be best if you try and eat something. You are looking rather slight.”
Upon learning that her elderly friend had shared such a thing with her husband, whom she scarcely knew, Sarah’s faced reddened with embarrassment. She didn’t know what to say. It would be a lie to say that she had eaten. And even though she wished Martha hadn’t made such a fuss, she didn’t want to cause her any added concern. “Perhaps you are right. I shall try and eat at least a little, since you have gone to the trouble of fixing this fine meal.”
Martha felt relief wash over her as she observed that Sarah had begun to eat. With her husband here, she might just put on a little weight. Just maybe, she shall leave off from working herself to death as well.
With his eyes fixed on his wife, Alexander said, “Sarah, I thought we might go for a walk tomorrow. I would be delighted to know more about what you have been doing while I have been away.”
Sarah felt a jolt in her stomach as he spoke. I wonder what this is all about. Why is he even here? I feel ill. How am I to eat now? Martha shall not be happy with me if I do not. Agitatedly, she responded, “Well…I have plans to go to Alice’s tomorrow. You see, she felt feverish today, so I am needed to look after the children. I am planning to remain there until she is well. I only came home tonight to get a few things. Had I known I would be needed, I would have brought along enough changes of clothing to last for a few days. But I think they can get by until tomorrow, when I am to return. Perhaps when I come back, we might take a walk.” She knew she was rambling on, but having her husband home set her on edge.
“I shall be leaving in a couple of days. I was truly hoping we might have at least a few moments together tomorrow.”
With relief that she had avoided spending time with her husband, Sarah responded, unconvincingly, “I would have enjoyed that. I am sorry that I shall be otherwise occupied.” He is planning to journey back to England so soon. His time shall be so short, I wonder at his reason for even coming. Ah well, no matter—all the better for me. I should not wish to have him questioning my dietary habits any longer. “Well, I shall be praying for your safe journey back to England.” That much was true. She did not wish any harm to befall him.
Seeing that Sarah was clearly relieved by the belief that he would soon be leaving, with a sigh he responded, “No…what I meant to say was that I am taking a short trip to see to some matters of business. I shall be away but a few days.”
Supposing this to be the reason he had come—for business purposes—she wondered how long he intended to stay. “Then, you are not leaving for England right away?”
“No…I am not.” He decided to follow Martha’s advice and not let on, just yet, that he would not be returning to England. “Perhaps when we both return, we might have a day together.”
Whatever can he want? He is so insistent. For two years we have done just fine, going about our own business, not bothering with each other. While glancing down at the table to rein in her thoughts—she finally formed a response, “To be sure. I shall not schedule anything when I return. Well, I must turn in. With Alice feeling poorly, I have a long few days ahead, I imagine. I am much obliged to you, Mar—” Unbeknownst to Sarah, her elderly friend had slipped out of the room to allow the couple time alone.
“She left a few moments ago. I suspect she wanted to give us some privacy. Allow me to escort you to your bedchamber.” He then took hold of Sarah’s hand to help her to her feet. As his wife stood up, he noticed that she started to sway. Suspecting that she was weak from her ordeal at the Strouts’ home, he quickly grabbed hold of her arm to steady her.
“I must be more tired than I thought,” she said, with heat rising in her cheeks.
The worried husband glanced down at his wife’s ashen face. While forcing himself to smile, he directed her from the room. As they walked, Sarah was keenly aware of his hand resting gently on her back.
The two ascended the stairs together. As Alexander stopped at Sarah’s bedchamber, he bid her goodnight. She nodded, and then turned toward the door. While attempting to adjust to the idea that her husband was actually there, she could not make herself move forward into her bedchamber. Turning again, she watched him as he walked away. Then, shaking her head, she turned and entered her room, determined not to think about him any longer. She needed her rest, for she intended to be up with the sun—when she would gather up the few things she would need and then set off for Alice’s. Worrying over how she was going to manage having Alexander at home, no matter how briefly, would only rob her of her sleep. She resolved not to allow that to happen. As weak as she felt, just now, she knew she would need every bit of strength she could muster to get through the next few days.