by Cathy Bryant
As she rose, she responded, “I really do think I am strong enough. It is not very far to my bedchamber.”
“Allow me to at least see you there. That way, if you feel weak, I shall be there to assist you.” For one so small, you are one headstrong woman, Alexander thought to himself.
On her feet now, she nodded to his offer to escort her to her bedchamber. Then, together they moved in that direction. After seeing that Sarah was safely in her room, Alexander went in search of Martha.
Finding her in the kitchen, he stated, “Martha, I believe Sarah is ready to eat something. She is in her bedchamber changing, but she shall be returning to my room directly.”
“Should she be up?” inquired the worried servant.
“You know how she can be, Martha. She didn’t want to trouble Esther with fetching a clean nightgown for her; however, as much as it worries me that she is up, I am more concerned that she eats something.”
“Very well. I have everything prepared. Will you be breakfasting with her?”
“Yes, I believe I shall.” A little hesitant to reveal that he had not followed his servant-friend’s advice, he said in a muffled voice, “Martha, I told Sarah that I plan to stay on in Amesbury. I also told her of my wish to alter the arrangement we had made when we married.”
Brows raised, she glanced over at him. “You did? How did she take the news?”
Sighing, he rubbed his chin. “Not very well, I’m afraid. In fact, I think I frightened her half to death, just as you had said I might.”
“What prompted you to tell her so soon?” she asked, surprised that he had not waited until he had been home for a time to inform his wife of his plans.
“Well, for one thing, before we retired last night she attempted to return to her own bedchamber, stating that she believed herself well enough. I told her I wished for her to remain where she was, in my room. I went on to say that I had come home to stay. The rest just came spilling out; that is, about having a conventional marriage. I assured her that I would not rush her. In truth, Martha, just being here with her shall be enough for me; nonetheless, I hope we shall one day, at the very least, have a special friendship.”
As Martha listened, she began to understand Mr. Swyndhurst a little better. He simply wishes to be here with Sarah in whatever capacity she will allow. “What did she say that made you think you frightened her?” she then asked with concern. Though she knew Mr. Swyndhurst to be an honorable and kind gentleman, she hated to think Sarah was upset by his news.
“It wasn’t so much what she said as what she did. After climbing back in bed, she proceeded to pull the bedcover up so only the top of her head was showing. She had also turned away from me, facing the door. I was sure she had comprehended my meaning when I said I would not rush her. In truth, Martha, the chief reason I wanted her in there with me was that I didn’t trust her to return to her own bedchamber where she might slip out whenever she likes. And she has only been free of a fever for a short time. What if the fever returns and I am not there with her? I would have no way of knowing.”
Looking thoughtful, Martha responded. “Yes, those are legitimate concerns. We cannot be sure the illness has indeed passed. And I share your belief that it would be good to keep an eye on her. I know you assured her that you had no intention of hurrying things, but maybe she didn’t quite take your meaning.”
“Perhaps you are right; however, without that time together each night, I believe she shall remain distant from me. At least I can count on having her attention every evening to establish some sort of a connection with her. And as I said, after it occurred to me that I could keep a better watch over her comings and goings if she remained in with me, like you, I thought it a good idea. As you know all too well, she runs off quite early many a morning. We may not be able to alter her schedule if we don’t know when she rises. Having her with me, if necessary, I shall be right there to stop her from running off to the Strouts’ home, or anywhere else for that matter.”
In understanding, the elderly servant nodded. Next, she cautioned, “Remember, Mr. Swyndhurst, though you have been married before, Sarah has not; consequently, she has never shared her bed with a man. What is more, she believed she never would. This all feels quite natural to you. It is not the same for her. And did you not tell me that a man in her former hometown had incessantly pursued her—even seizing her one time, in her father’s barn?”
Thinking about this, he answered, “Yes, that is true. How could I have forgotten that? It isn’t a wonder she seems so fearful of me; however, I was told by her father in confidence, so we must not let on to her that we are aware of what happened. I only alerted you so that you might keep your eyes open, should a stranger come around looking for her.”
Martha nodded. “I have never said a word, and I never shall. And not once has Sarah mentioned it. I assumed she had put it behind her.”
“I highly doubt it, Martha.”
A short time later, the couple had returned to Alexander’s bedchamber. While they ate, Sarah asked her husband if he had gone on his business trip while she was away taking care of the Strouts. She thought she remembered him saying something about having delayed his trip for a time.
“No, Sarah. As yet, I have not. I shall go in a few weeks, when you have fully recovered.”
“Seeing that my fever has subsided, I believe I am no longer in any danger. I shall be just fine here with Martha and the others if you wish to go,” she informed him, hoping he would be gone from the house for a few days, for as soon as he left, she intended to go directly to check on Mary. The next time, however, she planned to be home before dark, for she had no desire to find Matthew Raymond lurking about again.
“Sarah, I am going to stay right here with you until I know for sure that you are well; therefore, it shall be some time before I go,” he responded warmly. He suspected it was her desire that he go away either because she was uncomfortable around him, or so she might return to her usual routine. As he thought about it, he suspected it might have a little to do with both reasons.
Just then, Esther knocked on the door. Mr. Swyndhurst called for her to come in. Upon entering, the servant observed her mistress sitting up in bed. The sight caused Esther’s face to light up with joy. “You are looking much better, Mrs. Swyndhurst.”
In private, Sarah had admonished her friend for her formal address; thus, when they were alone, Mrs. Swyndhurst was “Sarah” to Esther.
“Is there something I may do for you before I go to the Strouts’ home?” inquired Esther.
Excited that Esther would be seeing the Strouts, Sarah replied, “No, I am just fine, Esther. Do come and see me when you have returned. I should like to know how you find them today. How were they when last you called upon them?”
“Surely, Mrs. Swyndhurst. I shall come to you the moment I return. As for how they are faring, Mrs. Strout is doing quite well, as are the eldest two, but Mary continues to suffer,” Esther explained solemnly.
Upon hearing the servant’s report, Alexander became vexed at the young woman for disclosing too much to his sick wife. “That will be all, Esther. Thank you for coming to ask after our needs.”
As she glanced over at Alexander, Sarah observed that his face was flushed and he appeared rather angry. Seeing this, she decided it was best to drop the matter and allow Esther to take her leave. Still, she remained more than a little concerned about Mary. Alice does not know what to do for her, of that I am certain. I pray Esther takes the situation in hand. As soon as I can get away, I shall see to Mary myself.
Seeing the worry flash across his wife’s face troubled Alexander. This is not going to be easy, getting her to amend her view that she should labor on behalf of others to the point of dropping.
After Esther had gone, Alexander attempted to put his wife’s mind at ease about Mary. He also wanted her to feel comfortable with regard to sharing his bedchamber. Taking her hand, he said, “Sarah, Mary shall be just fine. Esther knows exactly what to do for her.
”
Peering over at her husband, Sarah nodded. On some level, she knew he was right—Esther was quite capable of handling the situation; however, until she saw little Mary for herself, she knew she wouldn’t be able to rest easy.
“Also, I know I made you fearful when I asked you to remain in my bedchamber, but there is truly no need for concern. I simply wish to look after you while you are ill. And I believe we shall become better acquainted if we have more time for conversing each evening before going to sleep. I have recently been reminded that sharing a bed with my wife comes more naturally to me, given that I was married before. I realize it is not the same for you, and therefore must feel quite unfamiliar—or even distressing.”
Looking down, so as not to gain eye contact, Sarah simply nodded. She was now no longer hungry. Her meal scarcely touched, she leaned back against her pillow.
Seeing that Sarah had stopped eating, Alexander inquired, “Are you feeling poorly again?”
Not wanting to give her husband any reason to insist that she remain in the house any longer, away from her friends, she quickly responded, “No…no, I am fine. I simply don’t seem to have much of an appetite.”
From what Martha has said, for you—little lady—that is nothing out of the ordinary, he thought, but what he said was, “Perhaps you should take a rest. I will clear your tray away.” After placing everything aside, he sat on the edge of the bed next to her. As he leaned down to kiss her brow, he whispered, “I shall check on you in a little while.”
Sarah’s eyes followed her husband as he stood to his feet and left the room. After he had gone, she prayed for God to help her make sense out of all that was happening. Having her husband home to stay, as well as the most recent incident with Matthew Raymond, had left her quite unsettled—not to mention her concern for little Mary.
“Lord, I have been managing Matthew Raymond’s presence in town on my own. Now that Alexander is here, should I tell him about Matthew and all that has happened in the past, as well as that the dreadful man seemed to have been waiting for me the other night, while standing in the shadows? I am afraid if I mention it, Alexander will say that I cannot walk to Alice’s anymore. And, Lord, another concern that I have is that when I married Alexander, we had not planned on living under the same roof. He now desires to have a traditional marriage. Father assured me that Alexander would never wish for that sort of marriage. Now, here he is, in Amesbury, even insisting we share his bedchamber. For me, though, Lord, the most frustrating aspect of all of this is that I have always been able to come and go as I please. That clearly is a thing of the past. I tried to never misuse my freedom. I have always attempted to use it for good. Oh, Lord, so much has changed. How am I to find peace with it all?”
Sarah had been in bed for the better part of a week. She was beginning to grow restless. Expressing her discontent to her husband had done little to change things. Each time she had attempted to discuss the matter, he simply stated that she needed more time to recuperate before venturing out of bed.
As a child, she had always been obedient; consequently, the feelings of rebellion against her husband’s wishes she was presently experiencing were very new to her. She had been left to herself, other than the servants, for two years. Having to answer to someone after all this time, for her, was exasperating.
On this day, however, she was determined to have her own way. She wondered how she would ever make it over to see Alice Strout and her children if everyone continued to look upon her as sickly. She reasoned that if they all noticed that she was up and about, they might see for themselves that she was well. After making her way out of bed, Sarah started for her own bedchamber. She intended to dress and go downstairs for a while. Just as she was approaching the door to her room, Esther appeared.
“We have guests, Mrs. Swy…Sarah. Mr. and Mrs. Bleasdell have arrived,” she informed while smiling at her mistress. The young maid was delighted to see the lady of the house looking a little better every day.
As Sarah glanced at her friend, she smiled with pleasure that guests had come to call. Since she had been confined to the house for so long, having visitors sounded wonderful to her. “Very well, Esther. Please let them know that I shall be down directly.”
The young woman nodded and replied, “Very well, I shall go this moment.” It pleased Esther that things seemed to be returning to normal.
Jonathan and Hannah Bleasdell were both in their early fifties. Given that Mr. Swyndhurst and his first wife had attended church with the couple, they had been counted amongst Alexander’s friends for some time. The new Mrs. Swyndhurst had admired Hannah and her sister, Susanna, since they first became acquainted.
While Sarah readied herself, she thought about Hannah and Susanna. Although they were both now up in years—though not exactly elderly, in Sarah’s opinion, they were still very lovely. In fact, although Jonathan had a bit of a round middle, to Sarah he, too, had remained rather striking—with very little silver in his mostly dark hair and kind eyes that had always made her feel at ease in his company. The arresting presence of Susanna’s husband, William Pressey, then came to Sarah’s mind. She thought about how the man towered over most everyone except Alexander. William, nearly the same height as her husband, didn’t look up to many, she supposed.
As she continued to dress, Sarah recalled that the Jameson sisters, as they were formerly called, once told her of Jonathan’s father’s harrowing journey over from England on the Angel Gabriel, the ship on which he and his parents had traveled. She thought she remembered the ladies mentioning that Henry Bleasdell was only three when the ship went down just off New England’s coast, and that he and his parents had nearly drowned. Shivering at the thought, she reached for a facecloth. As she studied her image in the looking glass, which had long since been rehung to suit her tiny stature, she thought again about Ralph and Elizabeth Bleasdell, Henry’s parents. Considering that they were Puritans, they had fled England during an extremely turbulent time for those holding to such beliefs, for their views had stood in stark contrast to the Church of England. Having always been captivated by the accounts told by the Presseys and the Bleasdells, Sarah had long believed the stories were book worthy.
Sarah soon realized that her musings had caused her to take longer than she had intended. She quickly finished readying herself, and then made her way to the stairs, which she descended rather swiftly. Arriving in the parlor nearly out of breath, the petite woman smiled as she greeted her guests. Glancing to her left, she caught a glimpse of Alexander, with a strained expression, moving in her direction. Taking her arm, he escorted her over to a seat near their guests.
While studying the couple sitting across from her, Sarah recalled a story Martha had shared concerning Hannah. Hannah was the granddaughter of a woman—Susanna North Martin—who had been hung as a witch. Upon hearing the account, Sarah had been certain that the woman had been no such thing. Looking across at Hannah just now, Sarah’s heart ached for what she must have gone through. She then thought about the entire Jameson family, which consisted of six children in all. Though she had only ever set eyes on the other three sisters once or twice, Sarah had also made the acquaintance of Mary, Esther, and Elizabeth, as well as their brother John.
Scarcely hearing the conversation that was taking place around her, Sarah recalled that the most intriguing story she had heard relating to the family was the account of Hannah’s sister, Susanna Pressey. Susanna had married William Pressey, the son of John and Mary Pressey, two of Susanna Martin’s accusers. A few years after the death of the sisters’ grandmother, William’s parents had reconciled with their son and daughter-in-law. In Sarah’s view, after what William’s parents had done, Susanna must have had a very forgiving heart to have allowed them any part in her life.
Like Hannah and Jonathan, Susanna and William had been to the Swyndhursts’ home many times while Alexander was away. Sarah had always been too busy helping others to do much entertaining and was often not at home when any visitors
had come to call; therefore, though she knew much about the families from the few times she had been in their company—as well as from what information Martha had shared—she was only somewhat acquainted with them, or any of her husband’s friends, for that matter.
An hour had passed when Jonathan and Hannah Bleasdell, glancing at each other, rose to their feet. They had each sensed that Sarah was growing weary. “It was wonderful to see you looking so well, Mrs. Swyndhurst,” smiled Mr. Bleasdell.
“Sarah, if you please, Mr. Bleasdell,” she responded with a smile. Though she had, on a previous occasion or two, asked him to call her Sarah, he seemed to have trouble on his subsequent visits remembering to do so. Sarah wondered, then, if the familiarity was difficult for him, considering that they were so little acquainted.
“Very well, then. But you must do me the courtesy of addressing me as Jonathan.”
Smiling in his direction, she surmised that she had been wrong about not being familiar enough for using one another’s Christian names; otherwise, the gentleman would not have suggested that she call him Jonathan. Perhaps he has asked the same of me in the past, and I have forgotten as well. As I am almost always off somewhere when they have come, I certainly have not made it easy for us to become better acquainted. At that thought, she determined to be more accessible to the Bleasdells in the future.
Just then, Hannah took hold of Sarah’s hand and gave it a squeeze. Though Sarah had stood to see them out, Hannah was attempting to say their farewells in the parlor. She had no wish for the young woman to be on her feet any longer than necessary. Within a few moments, Alexander and Sarah were alone. “Sarah, I didn’t want to say anything in front of our guests, but are you sure you should be out of bed?”
Attempting to appear completely at ease with the question, Sarah answered. “I am much better today. And I simply cannot tolerate another day in bed. I shall not overdo, Alexander.” If he insisted she return to their room, she knew she would be miserable.