by Cathy Bryant
“This is so frustrating! I am certain Mr. Hoyt is the man with whom Sarah left town. Even though it seems there is no more to learn about the man’s family—keep digging. There must be someone who knows where Mr. Hoyt’s daughter lives.”
After Mr. Haddon had gone, Alexander decided to map out where he would travel next in his search for Sarah. He couldn’t leave it all on the hired man’s shoulders, and with two of them looking, they were more likely to learn something.
It had been approximately five months since Sarah arrived with Mr. Hoyt at his daughter’s home in Boston. Winter was nearly over. Daniel Thompson had been observing Sarah each morning for the past several weeks. After breakfasting with his family, she had often felt poorly and would need to rest a while. And with as little as she was eating, her midriff, though she had been attempting to conceal it by keeping her cape draped about her, appeared to be expanding. If his suspicions were correct, the young woman was with child. Given that she had yet to share the news, he wondered what was going through her mind.
Having expressed his concern to his wife regarding their guest, he believed the time had come to speak with Sarah directly. When he had discussed the matter with Joanna, she had agreed and shared that she had suspected the same but hadn’t wanted to address the issue until Sarah was ready to speak about it. Thus, while his boys were out of earshot, Daniel knocked on Sarah’s door. When she saw that it was Daniel at the door, her heart felt as though it might fly out of her chest. Not that she feared him any longer, as she had early on, but it was only that she knew what was coming; he had figured it out. It had taken a few months for her to accept that she was with child, but she had resigned herself to the fact for some time now. She hadn’t wished to discuss the matter with anyone until she came to terms with it herself, for accepting it and knowing what to do about it were two vastly different things. As a result, besides trying to wish it away, she had been attempting to keep it a secret.
Sarah’s biggest obstacle in allowing herself to believe that she was indeed with child was that Alexander couldn’t possibly be the father. What that meant horrified her: the baby had to be Matthew Raymond’s. Whenever she thought about that fact, it made her want to go on fooling herself that nothing had changed, that she wasn’t really going to birth a child. But if Daniel had comprehended her predicament, then there was no use in trying to pretend it away any longer. For this reason—that the physician would confirm the worst—she hesitated to allow him entry.
Even though Daniel could see that Sarah was ill at ease and most likely knew what was coming, he directed her from her bedchamber toward the room in which he conducted his examinations. Once there, he ushered her over to a chair.
“Sarah, I realize the last thing you wish to do right now is address the situation in which you have found yourself, but denying it will not make it go away. I think we both know that you are with child. I have observed you for many weeks feeling poorly, especially after breaking the fast each morning. Additionally, though you have attempted to cover your midriff by wearing your cape even indoors, I have caught glimpses of your expanding middle.”
Hanging her head with embarrassment, Sarah nodded. “I simply did not wish to believe it was true. In spite of this, when the baby moves within me, there is no denying its existence. What am I to do? That man has already ruined my life, and now I am carrying his child!”
Placing his hand on the young woman’s arm, Daniel gently responded, “Is there no possibility that the baby is your husband’s?”
Turning her head away, Sarah answered. “Daniel, my husband and I have never been together in that way. The baby could not possibly be his.” She did not elaborate any further.
Nodding his head but not really understanding a husband and wife having such an arrangement, Daniel reassured her that everything would be all right. He had, of course, heard of such marriages, but he had never actually met anyone who had been in one. While taking a moment to process what Sarah had just revealed, he remembered something about her husband having been away for two years; that is, until just before she took leave of Amesbury. Directing his thoughts back to the young woman sitting before him, he said, “We shall have to take a look at you to be certain that you and the baby are well.”
Alarmed by what was about to happen, Sarah felt that if one could die of embarrassment, she surely would. That she was with child had been difficult enough to bear. Now she would also have to undergo regular examinations.
After calling to his wife to come and assist him, the physician examined Sarah. He knew she would be fearful at the prospect, but having Joanna present he hoped would be calming for his young friend. Once he had finished, he attempted to put Sarah’s mind at rest. “Sarah, none of what has happened is of your making. Moreover, the life you carry within you is completely innocent as well. For now, just try and focus on looking after the two of you by taking proper care of yourself.”
Nodding, eyes lowered, she said softly, “I believe it is time for me to contact the man here in Boston who handles my holdings in the Spaulding Hat Company. I inherited my father’s shares in the company, and they usually send my income to Amesbury. I was hesitant before now to contact them, as it opens the way for my husband to learn of my whereabouts, should he inquire as to where the earnings are being sent—though he probably never would. Lest he should, however, I could go directly to speak with the man, as it is not so very far away. You and your wife have been too kind, but I must see to providing for my child and myself.”
“Would it truly be so dreadful if your husband were to learn where you are? None of us has broached the subject with you as yet, but I must know, do you fear your husband for some reason?” Joanna inquired with some hesitation. She did not wish to alarm the young woman, for none of them would go against her wishes if she truly didn’t want her husband to know where she was.
By now, Sarah had risen and made her way over to look out the window. As she stood staring off in the distance, she whispered, “Joanna, my husband had just returned from England after being away for two years when all of this happened. He left soon after we were married. It was, for both of us, merely a marriage of convenience. He had lost his first wife and had no desire to have another. But when his father had asked him to marry me, on behalf my father, he had agreed. As for me, I was simply following my dying father’s wishes. He did not want me to be left alone when he died.”
She glanced over at the couple to ascertain whether they had understood. Believing she had explained well enough, as they seemed to have grasped the situation, she continued. “I was surprised when he came home from England and disclosed to me that he now wished to have a marriage in the traditional sense. In fact, I was reluctant at first, but I was beginning to accept the idea shortly before…well, you are aware of what happened. Everything was ruined that night when—”
Not wanting to upset the young woman, Joanna and Daniel quietly listened. Having discussed the matter many times, they each wished they felt at liberty to suggest that any man worth his salt would not have wanted her to go away. After doing their best to demonstrate that they had understood what she had divulged to them, their young friend left them to themselves.
Once Sarah was no longer present, the kind physician prayed with his wife that God’s will would be done—whatever it turned out to be—and that Sarah would be willing to obey His will even if it meant returning to her husband.
“Daniel, I am astonished that she even allowed you to examine her. However did you get her to agree?”
“I simply didn’t offer her any other option, so she must have felt that she had to comply. I didn’t wish to force her, but I felt I had no choice. We needed to be certain she and the baby were well. If left up to her, in my opinion, she would never have allowed an examination. In fact, had we not revealed that we were aware of the baby, as ludicrous as it sounds, I believe she would have gone on, indefinitely, attempting to conceal the fact that she is with child, perhaps even up to the time of her de
livery.”
“Indeed, she may have,” Joanna responded. After sitting there a moment to mull the whole thing over, she continued. “You know…there is something we didn’t consider. As much as she loves children, she may have realized it would be putting the baby at risk to refuse the examination.”
“You may be right. I hadn’t thought of that. It did seem a little too easy, getting her to follow me in here.” Smiling, he turned to face his wife. “Is that not just like her, putting others above herself? In this case, her selfless actions were for her own child—a child fathered by her attacker.”
“She is an amazing woman,” sighed Joanna.
“That, she is, though I often forget that she is, in fact, a grown woman. Not that she acts like a child—but you have to admit, she closely resembles one. Not at all like you, my love. You are definitely a grown woman.”
Raising her eyebrows at her husband’s comment, Joanna poked him in the ribs. “Do not let her hear you saying such a thing. She is already ill at ease concerning her size.”
“How do you know that?” Daniel inquired while feigning pain from the poke.
“Oh, just from some of the comments she has made about how nice it would be to be as tall as I am. But I think she is just lovely the way she is.”
When the full impact hit him of how Sarah’s size had most likely played a role in her inability to protect herself, lowering his head, the doctor responded, “I should not have said that about Sarah resembling a child. It is not a joke, for had she been larger, she may have been able to fend off her attacker, and may not even be in this predicament. Not that I wish the baby away, mind you.”
“Of course you don’t. Nor does Sarah, really, I am sure,” Joanna replied while hugging her softhearted husband. “Let us not think about how she came to be with child. Sarah needs to feel that the baby is welcome, that we are looking forward to meeting her little one when he or she arrives.”
“Yes, let us be as encouraging as we possibly can. They both are going to need us.”
The husband and wife embraced, at that point, determined to make the arrival of Sarah’s baby a joyful occasion.
After a restless night, Sarah awoke the following morning with dread. The time had come for her to speak to her solicitor about her quarterly income. As she had indicated to the Thompsons, she now had need of the income from her shares in the hat company in which her father had invested. She could not go on indefinitely accepting help from her hosts. She needed to procure a home for herself and her child.
Her greatest fear in making contact with the man handling her affairs was that her husband would learn of it. Alexander also frequented the town for business purposes having to do with his partnership in a shipbuilding company as well as his many properties. She little expected that he would actually have come looking for her—for she believed that Esther surely would have, by now, been compelled to reveal what had happened—but she disliked taking the risk.
Perhaps, as I had mentioned to the Thompsons, it would be best if I went directly to call upon my solicitor rather than send word, thought Sarah. I best go and speak with Joanna.
As Mr. Hoyt’s young friend approached him and his daughter in the kitchen, he observed the pensive expression upon her face. “You look as though you have something on your mind. Is there anything Joanna and I can do to be of assistance?”
Knowing that Joanna and Daniel probably had shared her predicament with her elderly friend, Sarah sat down at the table and sighed. “Mr. Hoyt, no doubt Daniel and Joanna have informed you that I am with child.”
Before answering, the elderly gentleman took a seat beside Sarah. “Sarah, they did not have to say a word. I recognized the signs, as I have been through this twice before with Joanna’s mother. With all that you have already been through, this must be most difficult for you.”
With tears welling up in her eyes, burying her face in her hands, she began to sob. “It is just another reminder that I shall never be able to go home. What husband would want a wife who is carrying another man’s child? It was bad enough that another man had forced himself upon me before my husband and I had—”
Joanna came up on Sarah’s other side and sat down. While placing her arm around the young woman’s shoulder, she said softly, “Sarah, can you be sure that your husband would feel thus? For myself, I cannot believe him so cruel as to turn you out for something over which you had no control.”
“I cannot take the chance, Joanna. In addition, even if Alexander allowed me to stay with him at the house in Amesbury, what kind of life would that be for either of us? I would be bringing along another man’s child. I couldn’t bear to have him merely tolerating my presence out of some sort of obligation. Furthermore, the man who attacked me still lives in Amesbury. I could not stomach being near him, and I would be too afraid to ever venture away from my home where he might take hold of me again.”
Joanna listened intently as Sarah expressed her fears. “Sarah, if you were to make known what that man did to you, he would most certainly be put in jail.”
“It would be my word against his. I could not take the risk that he might remain free. If that were to happen, as we live in the same town and attend the same church, there would be no way of avoiding him. As I have said, I would be no less than a prisoner in my own home for fear of seeing him. And as it is now, Alexander need never know about the baby, or anything else—that is, if Esther hasn’t revealed my secret. Even if she has, she doesn’t know about the baby. If I return to my home, he shall surely know all.”
As she was having little success at convincing Sarah to return home to her husband, Joanna decided to approach the subject from another direction. “Sarah, what must your husband be thinking? He most likely believes his wife has simply run off and left him. If that be the case, he is probably blaming himself for making you unhappy enough to leave.”
Glancing over at Joanna, Sarah sighed. “I have thought of that. It breaks my heart that he might blame himself, but it cannot be helped. Besides, if Esther, my maid, has indeed told him the truth regarding what happened, he is probably hoping that I never return. And if she has not, I would rather he believe that I have simply run off than know the truth.” Taking a breath, she continued. “Joanna, I know you are just trying to help, but you must see that I am right. As there is no way to change what has happened, I must make plans to visit my solicitor today. Do you know where I might hire a driver?”
As she rose from the table, Joanna responded, “Nonsense! If you are sure this is what you must do, Daniel or Father shall take you. I would feel better if someone accompanied you when you speak with your solicitor. Women are often taken advantage of in such matters. Having a man along might dissuade your solicitor from doing anything underhanded.”
“I am most obliged to you, Joanna. I shall never be able to repay you and Daniel for your kindness. You have taken me in as though I were family.”
Joanna smiled. “I have so enjoyed having you with us, Sarah. I hope you are here a long while yet. And as it has been some time since there was a baby in the house, I am so looking forward to having yours here with us.”
Sarah was warmed by Joanna’s words. It delighted her to hear her baby spoken of in such a way—like he or she was actually wanted. Still, as she thought again about what she must do, visit the hat company to procure her income, her countenance fell; for even though she wasn’t planning to reveal where she was currently residing, just making it known that she was somewhere in Boston, to her, felt risky.
Mr. Hoyt patted Sarah’s shoulder so as to console her, for he sensed the turmoil within the young woman. If we could just be certain she is in error regarding her husband, we could send word to him that he might come and fetch her. But if she is correct in her belief that he would not want anything to do with her now, then it is best to allow things to remain as they are, with Sarah’s whereabouts kept secret. I do not think she could bear that kind of rejection.
Sarah smiled at Mr. Hoyt, and then
rose to her feet. As she turned to go, she thanked her friends for understanding her wishes with regard to her husband.
Later that afternoon, Mr. Hoyt drove Sarah to the Spaulding Hat Company to meet with her solicitor, who also managed the other shareholders’ affairs. As manager, the man held a position on the board of directors; thus, his office was on the premises of the hat company.
Daniel had offered to take Sarah, but had thought better of it. If Sarah wanted her whereabouts to remain confidential, having the town’s physician along would not have been a good idea. Even if he had never met the gentleman with whom Sarah intended to converse, the man most certainly would have heard his name in connection with his position in the town. For this reason, it was decided that Mr. Hoyt would accompany Sarah.
Upon their arrival, they were shuffled into Mr. Harvey’s office. Closing the door behind his visitors, the man motioned for Sarah and Mr. Hoyt to be seated. “It is good to see you, Mrs. Swyndhurst.” It had been some time since he had set eyes on the young woman. The last time she had been to the hat company had been with her father before he died. On that visit, the ailing man had made arrangements for his holdings to pass to his daughter upon his death.
Mr. Hoyt introduced himself to Mr. Harvey, and then, seeing that Sarah seemed a little hesitant to speak, he explained the reason for their visit—that Sarah would be in town for a few months and would therefore be coming in person to collect her income, rather than have it sent on to Amesbury—as had been the case from the time of her father’s death.
Unbeknownst to Sarah, her husband and his hired man had been to see Mr. Harvey. He was, therefore, aware of what had happened to Sarah. Just now, he hoped to learn something of where she was presently residing. He had promised the moment he learned anything that he would inform James Haddon, who would be regularly checking in. “Perhaps if you told me where I might send the money, I could save you the trouble of coming in person to collect it.”