by Cathy Bryant
A short time later, James Haddon returned. He soon learned that Sarah had lost the baby. Saddened by the news, he scarcely touched the meal Joanna had prepared for him. Joanna soon showed him to one of the guest bedchambers, where he settled in for the night.
While Sarah slept, Alexander remained in the parlor, holding the lifeless infant. At first light, he and Mr. Thompson set off to bury the child. Alexander knew it would be some time before his wife would be strong enough to be out of bed. This was a task that could not wait. Moreover, he had no desire for Sarah to have to endure the tiny boy’s burial.
As they approached the burying ground, Alexander stated that he wished to name the little lad after himself and his father before him. “My son, never to be forgotten, is to be called Alexander Swyndhurst III.”
Though he had only known the man for a few days, at that moment Daniel felt immense admiration for Alexander Swyndhurst. As he continued to observe Mr. Swyndhurst holding another man’s son—a son born of an attack upon his beloved wife, whom he had now named after himself—Daniel knew he was standing in the presence of a decidedly honorable man.
As the ground had softened a little with the presence of spring, Alexander had been able to break up the earth where he was to lay his son. Before long, the dirt was shoveled back over the small grave. With tears streaming down, Alexander spoke words over the child. He then prayed that Sarah’s heart would mend from all that she had been through.
As they made their way back to the Thompsons’, Daniel patted Alexander’s shoulder and expressed how proud he was of him for looking upon the child as his own. He then assured him that Sarah would recover physically, but warned that her emotions were altogether another matter. Sarah had, in fact, only just begun to heal over the dreadful event that had taken place a few months before. With the loss of the baby, as well as having, again, faced her attacker, Daniel believed it may be some time before she was herself. He warned that she may need a great deal of time to herself, to work through everything that had occurred.
Upon their arrival back at the house, Joanna greeted them at the door. “Sarah has been asking for you, Mr. Swyndhurst.”
With haste, he went to his wife’s bedside. As he approached, he asked, “Sarah, how are you feeling?” He hoped she would not ask about the child.
Without answering his question, she inquired as to where he had gone. Joanna had explained that he and Daniel had gone off together, but she had not said where.
Not wanting to upset her, he evaded the question by fluffing her pillow and asking yet again how she was feeling and whether she had rested at all.
A bit frustrated, Sarah again asked where Alexander had gone. She assumed it had to do with making arrangements for burying her son, or perhaps speaking with the constable about Matthew Raymond. As she thought about the infant, she didn’t believe she could bear to see him again. It was simply too painful.
With a sigh, Alexander sat down on the edge of her bed, after which he reluctantly began explaining where he had been. “Sarah, Mr. Thompson and I took little Alexander to the burying ground in town. I am sorry not to have told you, but I felt it was for the best. To see him again might have caused you additional agony. I could not bear that. You have been through so much already.”
As she listened, she thought she heard him say “little Alexander” when referring to the baby. Stunned, she questioned him about it. “Alexander, did I hear you correctly? Did you say ‘little Alexander’ in relation to the baby?”
While brushing her hair away from her face, he responded, “Yes, it has always been my intention to name my first son after my father, and myself; so, naturally, that is to be his name, that is, if you are all right with it.”
With tears spilling from her eyes, she looked fixedly at her husband, wondering how she could have ever deserved him. “Alexander, you are too wonderful for words. How could I have ever believed you wouldn’t want me…or the baby? What man has ever done so much for his wife—naming a son that isn’t even his after himself? Even loving the child—as evidenced by the tears I saw in your eyes when he—”
Leaning down, Alexander kissed Sarah’s forehead and then insisted that she rest. When she had finally fallen asleep, he quietly slipped out of the room. Mr. Hoyt, James, and the Thompsons had remained in the parlor, conversing over everything that had happened. The boys were out in the barn feeding the horses—out of audible range. While Alexander was yet in with Sarah, Daniel had shared with the others what had happened at the burial.
Mr. Hoyt had thought about going along but had decided against it, believing the grieving man needed his privacy. Upon hearing all that had taken place, the elderly man was glad he had left the two younger gentlemen to themselves to bury the child, for he was certain it had been easier on Alexander that way, not having too many along on such a solemn occasion.
Making his way to the parlor, Alexander found Mr. Hoyt, James, and the Thompsons. After he had taken a seat, all those in the room, in turn, expressed their belief that he had done a very good thing in naming the child after himself. They all agreed that the gesture was sure to go a long way in mending Sarah’s broken heart. Mr. Hoyt went on to say that, for Sarah, knowing the child would be recognized as the couple’s first son would also make it easier for her to feel at liberty to speak of him, rather than hide away the fact that he had ever existed, like some terrible secret.
Alexander was grateful for their comforting words but felt they were undeserved, for he believed that had he been more attentive to his wife, none of what she had been through would have even occurred. “I am much obliged to you all; however, I feel that I am unworthy of such praise.”
While the conversation continued, the others became aware of what James had sensed all along; not only would Sarah need a time of healing, but Alexander would as well. It was now clear to all that he had placed the blame for all that had happened squarely upon his own shoulders. Although over the next hour they all attempted to convince him otherwise, he would not let go of his guilt.
Sometime during the night, Alexander had gone to check on his wife. After lighting a candle, he noticed that she was awake. Seeing him, his wife requested his assistance. After helping her to her feet so she could see to her needs, he noticed blood on her nightgown as well as on the bed. He assumed that some blood was to be expected, but the amount he saw seemed excessive. To his surprise, however, as lethargic as she was at that moment, she hadn’t even noticed—which only served to add to his fears. When his wife was ready to return to her bed, he gently placed one arm around her and the other under her elbow to assist her. Once she was settled, he pushed the blood-smeared chamber pot aside. With great concern, he went immediately to wake the physician.
After hearing what Alexander had observed, Daniel—lantern in hand—rushed to Sarah’s bedchamber. From the amount of blood on her clothing and bed, he surmised that she had been hemorrhaging for some time. As he observed her, he noted that her face was also extremely pale. At this point, he sent Alexander from the room. A few moments later, Joanna came in to help her husband tend to Sarah.
Alexander had been pacing out in the hallway for some time when Daniel finally opened the door. Coming out of the room, the physician directed Alexander toward the parlor. After motioning the anxious husband over to a chair, Daniel began, “It seems Sarah suffered more from the fall than I had previously thought. In fact, it appears as though her injuries were so great that it is highly unlikely she shall ever bear another child.”
“But what of Sarah? Is she going to be all right?” Alexander inquired with great concern.
“I do believe she shall recover, as the bleeding seems to have subsided; however, she has lost a great deal of blood and shall need bed rest for some time yet. You and James are welcome to stay on until she is well enough to travel.”
With gratitude, Alexander responded, “I am much obliged to you for all that you have done for my wife, and now for me. I don’t know how I shall ever repay such a debt.�
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“Nonsense! Having Sarah with us has been a pleasure. Besides,” he said with a smile, “she has more than earned her keep. I should be getting back in there. Joanna is getting Sarah cleaned up and into a fresh nightgown. Between the two of us, we shall see that her bedding is changed as well.” As Daniel rose to his feet, he suggested that Alexander get some rest, explaining that Sarah would probably be sleeping soundly for the remainder of the night. He then assured the concerned husband that he would be checking on Sarah every couple of hours to see that the bleeding had ceased for good.
Aware that the news of never bearing another child would be devastating to Sarah, after returning to his room Alexander prayed for his wife. For him, though, that his wife would survive the ordeal was all that concerned him. He then thought about the Strout children. They were for all intents and purposes his and Sarah’s children now. His wife might never have another child of her own, but having three that she dearly loved living with them might just be enough for her. At least that was Alexander’s hope.
The following morning, after checking on Sarah, Alexander went to speak with James. Once he had explained the situation, that the duration of their stay had been prolonged because of his wife’s injuries, he inquired whether the man wished to be on his way. They had all known that the premature delivery had added days to their stay, but now there was no telling how long it might be before they could leave.
After listening to all that his friend had to say, James insisted he had no desire to set off alone. He then assured Alexander that he would stay on as long as necessary to see the couple safely home.
Later that afternoon, apart from Sarah, all of the adults had gathered in the parlor. As Daniel had expected, with the loss of blood, Sarah had scarcely stirred for hours. While they were conversing, Alexander found it an opportune time to disclose that he had taken in three children. He went on to describe Sarah’s relationship with the family. He explained that she had always taken great care to see to the children’s needs, even to her own detriment.
The Thompsons and Mr. Hoyt were not at all surprised to hear about Sarah having regularly cared for her neighbor’s children. Mr. Hoyt had already shared with his daughter and son-in-law what Sarah had told him of the situation with the Strout children, including the fact that it was from there that she had been returning when Matthew Raymond captured her. Daniel and Joanna had also seen for themselves how it was with Sarah; of her own accord, she had spent many hours looking after their sons.
While Mr. Swyndhurst spoke with the Thompsons and Mr. Hoyt, James quietly listened. He had already been privy to much of what his friend was presently sharing with the others.
When Alexander had concluded with his news concerning the Strout children, he asked that everyone keep the information to themselves. When the time was right, he would inform Sarah of the new additions to their household. He felt that after suffering the loss of little Alexander, now was not the time. And he had already determined before ever taking leave of Amesbury that he would not tell Sarah until he felt she had sufficiently recovered from all that she had been through.
The conversation shifted when Alexander inquired, “Mr. Thompson, have you informed Sarah she might never have another child?”
Looking thoughtful, the physician responded, “No, I have not. She was not well enough to hear such news last night, and she has scarcely moved all day; consequently, I have not had an opportunity. And please, call me Daniel. With all that we have been through together, in so short a time, I feel that we have a connection beyond merely newly formed acquaintances.”
Nodding, Alexander then asked if Daniel thought it a good time to tell Sarah such dreadful news, with her yet recovering. “Might it not be better to put off telling her for a time?
With everyone now on a first name basis, Daniel responded. “Alexander, I have always found it best to be honest from the start, for in my experience, there is never really a good time for such news. And if put off for a later time, it often becomes more and more difficult to bring the subject up; nevertheless, as you are her husband, I shall leave the decision to you.”
“If you think it best to tell her sooner rather than later, I have no objection. Though I dread having to do so, we shall tell her before we set off for home.”
While the gentlemen conversed, Joanna thought about the Strout children. She felt certain that, considering the situation, having the children in the Swyndhursts’ home would be good for Sarah and might ease her pain over never having another child of her own.
Soon, the boys came into the parlor asking after Sarah. It was clear to all that the Thompsons’ sons had formed a strong attachment to Mrs. Swyndhurst over the months she had been living with them.
“Boys, Sarah is resting. I would appreciate it if you would talk softly whenever you are near her bedchamber,” Joanna said in a low tone. The boys had not been privy to the goings on over the past couple of days, other than what they had observed when Matthew Raymond had carried Sarah off. Once Sarah had safely returned to the Thompsons’ home, the boys were extremely relieved. Though they were told very little, they hadn’t inquired further. Both boys began to comprehend that, though Sarah had been rescued, she was not well.
Although they wished to see their friend, the boys agreed to keep quiet so Sarah could rest.
Sensing his sons’ confusion, Daniel decided right then that it was time to inform them that Sarah had lost the baby, or they might continue seeking her out. “Daniel…Joseph…Sarah’s baby has died; therefore, she shall not be up and about for several days. When she is well enough to be out of bed, she and Alexander shall be setting off for home.”
The boys, saddened by the news about the baby, seemed to comprehend what the loss meant for Sarah’s husband as well, for they both approached Mr. Swyndhurst to offer their condolences. Joanna and Daniel couldn’t have been more proud of their boys.
Sometime late in the night, when Alexander had come to her room, Sarah inquired whether Daniel had said anything about her ability to have more children. She had been tossing and turning as she thought about what her injuries might mean for future children. She couldn’t rest until she knew.
Though Alexander hesitated to answer, she suspected the truth. “He doesn’t believe that I shall, am I right?”
As he sat down next to Sarah on the bed, Alexander caressed her brow. “Sarah, though he cannot say for certain, Daniel suspects that your injuries were too severe—the damage too great.” That she had even asked signified one thing to Alexander: his wife was at least considering the idea of having a traditional marriage. He thought she had been moving in that direction before she fled town. He now felt certain he had been right. With that knowledge, he wished more than anything that he could tell her they would have more children.
While silently nodding, she turned her head away. She felt tears flooding her eyes and didn’t want Alexander to notice. He had been so good to her about having another man’s baby. Now she may never be able to give him a son of his own.
It had been nearly three weeks since Sarah’s baby had died. The time was rapidly approaching for the Swyndhursts and James Haddon to take leave of Boston. Joanna and Sarah had grown very close in the months they had been together. Although Sarah’s departure had not yet happened, the ladies were already saddened at the knowledge that they would soon be parted.
Even though theirs had been a short acquaintance, Daniel and Alexander had also formed a brotherly bond from their shared, albeit difficult, experiences. They had each swiftly developed a deep respect for, and confidence in, the other.
Joseph Hoyt suggested that when it came time for the couple and James to take their leave, he follow after the trio in his own wagon. Alexander and James were happy to comply with the elderly man’s wishes.
Daniel spoke with Sarah that morning concerning his desire to have another look at her. He wanted to be certain that she was indeed well enough to travel. As they made their way to his examination room, she felt i
t was time to broach the subject of whether she could have more children. She was sure Alexander had been relaying Daniel’s thoughts on the matter, but she wished to hear it firsthand.
Once she had been thoroughly examined, taking a deep breath, she asked, “Daniel, was Alexander correct? You believe me incapable of carrying another child, do you not?”
His countenance one of sadness, he responded, “I am afraid so, Sarah. Your injuries were rather extensive. I could be wrong; however, I do not believe that I am. I am truly sorry.”
With a heavy heart, she responded, “Daniel, I am grateful to you for your honesty. It is rather unexpected that I would concern myself with such things, given that when I married it was for expediency’s sake, not for…well, Alexander and I simply did not care for each other in that way.”
“And now?” Daniel inquired, though he knew the answer. It was obvious to him from the moment he met Alexander that the man adored his wife. And from what he had seen of Sarah’s actions and glowing face whenever her husband was present, he was certain she felt much the same.
“Presently, I believe he is the dearest man alive. But you are a close second, Daniel,” she said with a smile.
Daniel smiled warmly at Sarah’s comment about his being a close second. He had grown to love Sarah as one would love a little sister. His heart, at that moment, was heavy at the thought that he would greatly miss his petite friend.
Sarah continued, “My heart swells when I think of him.” All at once, her countenance fell. “Daniel, how would you have felt if Joanna had been unable to have children?”
This, Daniel knew he could answer with all sincerity. “Sarah, I would not have loved her any less. Though I am glad we have our sons, I did not marry her for her ability to provide children for me. I married her because I adored her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, regardless of any obstacles that might have arisen, or may yet.”