by Cathy Bryant
“Thanks be to God that you have found her and she is home now. You mentioned having been grateful that Sarah was being looked after by a physician. Were there extensive injuries from the attack, requiring the care of a physician?” Jonathan asked with concern.
While staring at his hands, Alexander said almost inaudibly, “Sarah was with child as a result of the violence perpetrated against her.”
Jonathan was stunned by the news. After allowing what Alexander had said to sink in a moment, he solemnly inquired, “Did you say that she ‘was’ with child? Has she had the baby, then?”
“Yes, but the child died soon after his birth. It was just too early for him to arrive. The worst of it was that she would not have delivered so early, if not for Matthew Raymond.”
“I don’t understand. What has he to do with it?”
Wringing his hands, Alexander replied, “Unbeknownst to James and me, he followed us from Amesbury to Boston. He must have kept back just far enough that we never caught sight of him. I spotted another wagon a time or two, but never suspected it was Matthew Raymond. Soon after our arrival, I went out in the Thompsons’ backyard to speak with Sarah, after which I left her alone so that I might go in and speak with Daniel about whether it was safe for her to travel. She wanted a moment to tend to her face. She had been crying, you see. She was to follow soon after. Seeing his opportunity, with Sarah alone, Matthew Raymond seized her.”
“How dreadful! How did she escape?” Jonathan questioned, dumbfounded by all that he had heard so far.
“As Daniel, James, and I were racing after them in my wagon, Sarah fell out of the rear of Raymond’s wagon. There was a gun-fight following that, which left the despicable man quite dead! I am sorry to say that I was, and still am, extremely relieved the man is no longer amongst the living.”
“Sarah must have been terrified! So, I assume the injuries she suffered from the fall were the cause of her premature delivery?”
“They were indeed. We almost lost her, along with the baby.”
“You have all been through a great deal. I insist that you leave the children here with us for as long as you deem necessary for Sarah to recover—and you, for that matter.”
“I am much obliged to you, Jonathan. I have not yet informed Sarah that the children had been living at the estate. As she has just lost a child, and may never have another, I am uncertain how she shall feel about raising someone else’s children.”
“I understand your hesitation, but I have to say—with what I know of Sarah—she shall most assuredly be overjoyed by the news.”
“I share your opinion, but I cannot be certain. Regardless, until her body has fully healed, I intend to wait. She shouldn’t care for the children until she is well. I know she would try; therefore, for her own good, I must impose on you both a bit longer.”
“As I have said, they are welcome to stay as long as you like. Sarah would indeed put it upon herself to see to their every need…despite the fact that there are servants to assist her,” Jonathan said with a grin. Though he didn’t know the tiny woman well, from what the children had told him, he knew that much about her.
Following their conversation, Alexander went in to visit with the children. He knew he couldn’t stay long, for a lengthy absence from his home would require an explanation. Having business with Jonathan would be an acceptable excuse, he reasoned; that is, unless he tarried too long.
Without revealing too much, Alexander explained as best he could to the two older children the reason he could not yet fetch them home at this time. Clearly content with the Bleasdells, the children didn’t put up much of a fuss about staying on a while longer. Alexander was quite certain that Hannah and Jonathan had given the children their undivided attention while they had been staying with them. Conversely, he had been so consumed with finding Sarah that he had paid little heed to them while they were at his estate.
Later, after Alexander had returned home, he found his wife in the parlor with the Presseys. He hoped their visit had not been too tiring for her. He also wondered what she had shared with them, if anything, concerning what had happened to her.
After taking a seat beside his wife, Alexander explained that he had been to see Jonathan. Without giving much detail, he told his wife, and guests, that he and Jonathan had some things they needed to discuss. Though his explanation was vague, Sarah seemed to accept it without hesitation. As the Presseys had already been informed about the children, they did not press for details. Then, surveying his wife, Alexander felt certain that her lack of interest in where he had been was simply due to exhaustion. She looked to him as if she might collapse right where she sat.
The Presseys seemed to notice her fatigue as well, thus they soon took their leave. While walking them out, so as not to be overheard, Alexander spoke softly. He assured them that he would fill them in on everything later. William patted his friend on the shoulder as an indication that he understood that now was not the time to go into it.
Upon his return to the parlor, Alexander noted that Sarah had taken leave of the room. He surmised that she had gone up to her bedchamber to rest. After quickly mounting the stairs, he went directly to her room. As he knocked, he heard her softly call for him to come in. Once he had entered, making his way over to her, he took a seat on the bed.
“You must be completely done in. Having visitors so soon was simply too much for you.”
As Sarah was already half-asleep, she didn’t argue. Alexander remained just long enough to see that she had indeed fallen asleep before taking himself off to his room to rest as well. It had been a long day. Explaining to Jonathan about all that had happened in Boston had completely exhausted him. After stretching out on his bed, he thanked God for sparing him yet another loss. Losing one wife had been difficult enough, but Sarah was safely home now, and he was exceedingly grateful.
Sometime during the night, as Martha had left her door ajar to listen for Sarah, the servant heard noises coming from the young woman’s bedchamber. Supposing her mistress was, yet again, having a bad dream, she hurried to her room. As she approached the bed, she knew it was exactly as she had suspected; Sarah was thrashing about from fright.
As she attempted to wake her mistress, she prayed God would help Sarah to put all thoughts of Matthew Raymond behind her. After Sarah came fully awake, she and Martha talked for some time. While they were conversing, the young woman asked Martha not to reveal to her husband that she had regularly been having nightmares since arriving home. She explained that she had had them before, when she had first arrived in Boston, but they had almost completely ceased in the months she had been staying with the Thompsons. Nevertheless, owing to the latest incident with Matthew Raymond, to her dismay, they had begun again.
Considering that he had felt the need to distance himself from me by returning me to my own bedchamber, I do not want to trouble him. And I should not wish for him to be pressured into having things the way they were before, she thought. But what she said aloud was, “It is just that I have no wish to be a bother to him with this.”
Martha wanted to say to Sarah that she highly doubted Mr. Swyndhurst would see his wife as a bother, but she refrained. “Very well, Sarah, if that is your wish.”
After the elderly servant had gone, Sarah was reminded of what a faithful friend she had in Martha, and until that moment she hadn’t realized just how much she had missed the dear woman.
As Martha made her way back to her room, she wondered why Alexander had returned his wife to her own bedchamber. Surely she would fare much better with someone there to comfort her. And though she hasn’t said as much, I believe Sarah wonders about it, too. As much as I am tempted to stick my nose in, I shall not. For the time being, I will leave it for the two of them to work out.
The next morning, Sarah made her way out of doors to take in the fresh air. Spring was well on its way. Sarah could hardly wait for her favorite season to fully arrive. Just now, however, she bundled up for the chilly weather before go
ing out.
As she strolled around the backyard, she thought about Alice Strout and her children. Though she longed to call upon them, there were two obstacles in her way: Alexander and her own fears. Alexander had expressed his desire that she remain at the estate until she had completely recovered, and knowing that she would have to pass by the place where Matthew Raymond had grabbed her was yet too frightening to consider. Though the man was dead, the memory of that night was still too fresh.
As she continued to walk about, she chided herself for being so weak. After all, what had she to fear from a dead man? But try as she might to rid herself of the terrible emotions she had been experiencing, connected to the man, she could not push them away.
Before long, Alexander joined his wife, who had by now alighted on a bench in the yard. From there, she had been enjoying the warmth of the sunshine as well as observing the first robins to return after the long, cold winter. Seeing them somehow brought hope to her heart that in the face of all the dreadful things that had occurred, God was still there looking after even the smallest of creatures. She then recalled what the Scriptures had to say: “Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?”
All at once, Sarah realized that Alexander had taken a seat beside her. She wondered why she hadn’t noticed him. “Good morning, Alexander.”
As he looked closely at his wife, Alexander sensed that she seemed at peace. “How are you feeling today?” Had he known the battle she had been fighting against her fears just moments before, he may not have believed her so tranquil.
“I believe I am getting a little stronger every day. Sitting here in the warm sun does more for me than just about anything else. God’s creation is so magnificent! I cannot help but be overwhelmed by its splendor.”
Smiling at his wife’s words, Alexander responded, “Yes, God’s handiwork is truly grand.” Reaching over, he took hold of her hand. He dared not discuss anything regarding the baby or Matthew Raymond with her, for he believed she wasn’t yet ready. Though they had talked over such things while they were in Boston, they had not spoken along those lines since returning home. All he could do for now was to simply make certain that Sarah had everything she needed, and wait. He hoped that, in time, she would reveal all that was on her mind. He longed for things to move forward between them, as they seemed to have been before they had been separated for so many months.
As she felt the large hand enveloping her own, she understood that God had truly given her a protector in Alexander Swyndhurst. She could not fault the man’s care of her commencing with his return from England. As she thought about it, even if they never move beyond what they have now, she was most grateful for the man now sitting beside her. She hoped, however, that in time they could talk about things of a personal nature, not just the trivial conversations they had grown accustomed to since returning from Boston. Oh, she knew they had their faith in common, but as far as normal conversations between a husband and wife, she was left wanting.
From the window overlooking the backyard, Martha had been observing the couple. Though she had promised Sarah she wouldn’t say anything, she wondered whether she should inform Mr. Swyndhurst that his wife was still experiencing nightmares. When the young woman had come into the kitchen that morning, she appeared, to Martha, as though she had not slept much after suffering the bad dream the night before. Even though she had talked with Sarah until the young woman was ready to go back to sleep, Sarah must have remained awake long after the two had parted company, Martha had reasoned.
Martha decided to give the matter over to God in prayer. “Lord, Sarah needs Your touch. She has been through so much for her young years.” Suddenly, Martha noticed Sarah coming to her feet, thus she quickly moved away from the window. She didn’t want to be caught spying.
Sarah had begun to feel cold, so she decided it was best that she return to the house. Seeing her red nose, Alexander wasn’t at all surprised when she was ready to go in.
“It is still a bit chilly. In a few more weeks, the weather shall be warm enough for you to be out of doors for longer periods,” smiled Alexander as he escorted his shivering wife to the house.
“Yes, the cold weather is almost behind us.”
By now, the couple had reached the door to the house. As they entered, Sarah moved in the direction of the parlor, with Alexander close behind. He hoped she would spend the remainder of the day resting, but he had decided not to impose his desires upon her. He then observed that she had stretched out on one of the settees and wondered whether he should stay or leave her to herself; for things had seemed overly formal between them while they were in the yard. Though they were cordial with each other since they had arrived home, he felt that there was not the warmth they had previously shared while in Boston, and he wondered at the reason for the change.
Sarah had felt the stilted exchange as well. The difference was that she believed she knew the reason; things had changed between them from the time when Matthew Raymond had forced his way into their lives. She didn’t blame Alexander. She was just grateful he had wanted her to come home at all; otherwise, she would have been looking for a place of her own in Boston, far away from those she loved—those she had come to realize she had greatly missed while she was away.
She hadn’t even, as yet, had a lengthy conversation with Esther, which was not at all what she desired. All she wanted was for things to return to normal with everyone in the household, but it seemed they all thought her too fragile to treat her as they had before. Esther in particular had been keeping away from her. She wondered if it was because her friend felt guilty for having told her secret.
After seeing to it that his wife had everything she needed, Alexander excused himself. Shortly thereafter, because she had not rested much the night before, Sarah had fallen asleep. Before long, Martha came to check on the young woman. Finding her asleep, she covered her with a quilt and then quietly left the room.
After making her way to the kitchen, Martha found Mr. Swyndhurst seated at the table. When she had sat down across from him, she said, “Mr. Swyndhurst, Sarah has fallen asleep in the parlor.” Without divulging the reason, she went on to say that she didn’t believe his wife was resting well at night.
Mr. Swyndhurst agreed, for he had seen the dark shadows beneath Sarah’s eyes. “Give her time, Martha.”
Martha decided to broach the subject of the separate bedchambers. “Is there some reason you and Sarah are sleeping in separate bedchambers?”
Though he knew it was really none of Martha’s affair, he answered anyway, for he was aware that she only asked out of concern. “It is just that I had all but forced sharing a bedchamber on her before she went away. Given what has happened with Matthew Raymond, twice, taking her against her will, I thought it best that she have her own room. Though she seemed to adjust to sharing my bedchamber before she went away, this time I intend to allow her to make the decision. Moreover, Daniel Thompson, the physician with whom she had been staying, suggested that she might require time to herself.”
In understanding, Martha nodded. “The physician may be right. Perhaps that is best, then, having separate rooms for now. And as you say, it seems Sarah hasn’t been afforded the opportunity to make many of her own decisions, what with her father choosing a husband for her and then what happened because of that awful man. Oh…I didn’t mean that her father had made a bad decision where you are concerned.”
“Not to worry, Martha. I understood your meaning. That was exactly my thinking on the matter.”
What her employer had said made a great deal of sense to Martha; however, she still wished she hadn’t promised not to tell him of his wife’s terrifying dreams. The elderly servant hadn’t let on—since mentioning the one that had occurred just after they arrived home from Boston—that the nightmares had continued. With the couple in separate bedrooms, she reasoned, there wouldn’t be much he co
uld do about it anyway.
It had been nearly a month since Alexander and Sarah had returned home from Boston. Though she had been plagued with nightmares, the young woman was feeling much stronger. Alexander, without being heavy-handed, had been very attentive. It had taken much patience on his part—not speaking up every time he felt his wife was overexerting herself.
On numerous occasions from the time of Sarah’s return, Martha had noticed the young woman stepping out the front door as if she were about to set off somewhere; however, every time, within minutes she had returned. Suspecting her mistress had been attempting to go for a walk, most likely in the direction of the Strouts’ home, she hadn’t bothered to inquire about it.
On this particular morning, Martha was staring out the window when Mr. Swyndhurst entered the room. “What has you so captivated, Martha?”
Turning toward him, she responded, “It is Sarah. I believe she is attempting, as she often does, to venture out of the yard.”
With curiosity, Mr. Swyndhurst approached the window. As he watched, he noticed that Sarah appeared to hesitate at the edge of the yard. Turning toward Martha, who was standing beside him watching as well, he said, “She seems uncertain about going any farther.”
Nodding, Martha informed, “She is doing admirably. She usually doesn’t make it much beyond the front door.”
Eyes wide, Alexander glanced at the elderly woman. “Is this a regular occurrence, then?”
“To be sure. I believe she misses the children but is too afraid to venture out of the yard. I have often wondered if we ought to have told her where the children are—that they are not even at their old home.”
“If her love for the children motivates her to move beyond her fears, then I believe we should leave off from telling her, for the time being anyway. Who knows, if she keeps making the attempt, she may yet succeed. But if she allows her fears to get the best of her, she may be held prisoner by them. Let us keep watch over her for now. If she does indeed make it to Alice’s former home, we shall have to explain where the children have gone. And if she is still so fearful, she may not be ready for the children to return. Besides, you know as well as I do, the moment she learns where they are and that they are to return here when she is well, she shall insist they come home immediately.”