He grabbed his jacket, phone, wallet, and keys and headed out the door. It was a nice enough afternoon and he chose to walk over to North Ridge Hospital. Some air and some exercise would do him good. It would also give him chance to think about everything. Forty minutes later, he arrived, his mind more frazzled then when he had left home. Maybe he was the one that needed some help.
The same cheery assistant who had seen him buy the contents of the magazine shelf the previous day greeted him as he went up to the counter with another pile. Tatler, Vogue, Vanity Fair, Harper's Bazaar. The bigger and glossier the better. Just as Edie liked them.
“Good thing we got new issues in today. Your girlfriend a bit of a reader, is she?” the woman asked as she rang the purchases into the till.
Alik nodded. “Something like that, yes.” He handed over his card. “Thanks.” He headed off to the wing where Edie had recently been moved to, having secured a private room for her recovery.
When Alik walked into her room, Edie was sitting up in bed. She smiled brightly at him, looking happier than she had done in days. He deposited the stack of magazines on the bedside cupboard.
“You had better take your time with those,” he said. “I don't think there's anything left for you to read in the hospital shop.”
“I won't need them for too much longer, the doctor has said I can go home tomorrow.”
“Hey, that's great news!” He watched her smile fade.
“I don't want to go back to an empty flat alone,” she said.
He sat down in the chair beside her bed and took her hand. “I know it will be hard...”
“You know me, Alik, I'm not very good at looking after myself.”
Alik couldn't disagree with that. “We'll be there for you.”
Edie screwed up her face. “Who will? Caro? Poppy? I can't see either of them wanting to cook chicken soup for me. Not unless it was laced with arsenic.”
She had a point. Edie hadn't exactly endeared herself to them with her actions. But he didn't like the idea of Edie being on her own either. “Perhaps I could come and stay with you for a bit, just until you're back up on your feet properly. And I would be around for baby stuff too. What do you think?” The words were out of his mouth before he'd thought them through.
Edie's eyebrows knitted together. “You? You would really do that?” she asked.
Doubts were already starting to creep into Alik's mind. He hadn't meant to be so impetuous, even though it was an idea that made sense. But an idea that would send Caro into orbit. He should have discussed it with her first. There was a look of relief on Edie's face and he realised that it was too late to backtrack.
“Yeah, sure, why not?”
Edie squealed and threw her arms around his neck. He imagined that Caro would have a similar reaction.
Although her hands would likely be around his throat.
* * *
Alik went straight to The Indigo Lounge from the hospital. There was no point in delaying telling Caro about his offer to help Edie out. He pressed the buzzer and waited. After a couple of minutes, Caro came to the door.
“Oh, it's you. I thought you were a delivery driver,” she said, turning her back on him and walking into the bar. “Or Nic. He's gone to pick something up from the printers.”
It was strange being in the club when it was closed. Right now Alik would have preferred it if there were some other people around. Caro walked up the stairs to the office and Alik followed her.
“How's Edie?” asked Caro.
“She's coming out of hospital tomorrow.”
“Thank God for that, at least you won't be trekking there every day to see her.”
“About that...” Alik paused. “I need to tell you something.”
Caro sat down on the sofa and Alik settled next to her.
“I've offered to go and stay with her for a bit, until she's feeling better anyway.”
Caro didn't reply. She simply stared at him, her face impassive. The silence went on for longer than was bearable. Alik was desperate for her to say something, to let him know how she felt about it. If she agreed, if she hated the idea. Anything.
“Caro?”
“What?” She stood up, pacing the floor. “What can you possibly expect me to say to that?”
Alik watched as she tried to wipe a tear from her eye. He got up and went to her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and made her look at him. “Caro, she's just lost her boyfriend, she's having my baby. I can hardly abandon her, can I?”
Caro wrestled herself out of his grasp. Tears fell down her cheeks. “Don't you think I know that? But after everything she's done to you, how she tried to split us up...”
“She didn't though, did she? We're still together.”
Caro's words stung. “Only just, Alik, only just.”
* * *
“Do you think I’m being unreasonable?” asked Caro.
She had invited Olivia and Poppy over to talk through Alik’s decision, because she knew she wasn’t dealing with it very well. They had already got through one bottle of wine and were halfway through a second, although Caro was drinking the lion’s share.
Olivia was playing devil’s advocate as usual. “Think about it, Caro. If it were you, wouldn’t you want someone around to help you.”
“Maybe. But couldn’t that have been Minty or one of the other Stepford friends? Why did it have to be Alik?”
“Um, maybe because he’s the father?”
Deep down, Caro knew Poppy was right. But to have Alik seemingly push her aside just as they had worked everything out and become a couple hit her hard. She was aware she had distanced herself from him once she’d found out about the baby. And thrown herself into her work as usual. Maybe this was her fault after all. She drained her glass and poured another.
“Hey, take it easy,” said Poppy. “I know this isn’t easy, but this won’t help in the long run. It’s the funeral in a couple of days, perhaps you can talk to Alik after that? Let him know what you’re really feeling.”
“You think I should offer to help out too?”
“I didn’t say that. But by the sounds of it, you and Alik haven’t exactly discussed this properly. You need to find out from him why he wanted to help Edie,” said Poppy. “For all you know, she might have forced him into it.”
“Edie can be very persuasive when she wants to be. I should know!” added Olivia.
Caro sighed. “You’re right. I’m getting myself worked up when I don’t know the full reasons behind it. I reacted badly when he told me and didn’t give him chance to explain.” Just like I did with Josep, she thought to herself. And look what happened then.
Chapter Fifty-Five
The day of Billy's funeral dawned sunny and bright. After a week's worth of rain, the weather had finally picked up and the sun had come out. Although that did little to lift the mood of those present.
There had been vicious rumours flying around about Billy: His apparent womanising, his involvement with drugs, that he was about to be thrown out of Blood Stone Riot, that he had been arguing with Alik Thorne. The speculation was endless. And then, of course, there was his relationship with Edie. The same Edie that was pregnant by Alik Thorne - another little gem that had been revealed by The Goss in the last few days.
“What if there are press at the service?” said Edie, as she pulled on a vintage Chanel jacket.
Alik sighed. “If there are, I’ll handle it. We need to be going soon, are you ready?” he asked gently.
Edie swept her hair up into a high ponytail, looking at her reflection in the mirror. She looked perfect - if a little gaunt - in a striking black skirt suit and spiked heels, her appearance not giving any indication that she was pregnant. “Do I look okay?”
“You look incredible.”
Tears filled Edie's eyes. “Thank you for being with me. I don't think I could have got through this without you.”
Alik put his arms around her, gathering her in for a hug, before releasing her
and gently stroking her belly. “I'll be here for you,” he said, and for a moment, Edie wondered whether he was talking to her or the baby. “Come on, we need to go.”
They drove in silence to the crematorium, passing a few fans gathered around the entrance wearing home-made Blood Stone Riot t-shirts with Billy's picture on it. Edie stared at them as they went past, wondering who they were and how long they had been there; why they had chosen to come.
* * *
Alik parked up and the two of them made their way to the front of the building. Gathered in the ornately-fashioned doorway were Billy's family, mingling with the remaining members of the band. Caro was chatting quietly to Parker Roberts, who nodded at Alik as he and Edie joined the others.
Alik's eyes kept straying towards Caro. She had shut him out recently. He was grateful that Parker appeared to be the one looking after her and that she hadn't sought solace with Jonny Tyler.
There was a signal for them to move inside.
It was their turn to be processed - get the grief and tears over with so another group could go through the same thing. There was nothing personal about it. They trooped inside, wondering where to sit, whether they should all be together. Eventually, after an awkward moment and some shuffling of seats, they found places and braced themselves for what was to come.
The vicar stood up next to the wooden casket, adorned with a simple bouquet of lilies. Edie started snuffling, clutching hold of Alik's arm as the two of them sat closest to Billy's family. Alik's blood ran cold and he stared straight ahead as the vicar began to speak softly about Billy's life - if he made eye contact with anyone, he knew he would lose it.
There was barely any noise as the vicar went through his short service.
Alik stood up at the end, and walked slowly to the front. He placed a hand on the casket and waited in silence for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he turned to face the mourners.
“We all knew Billy in different ways,” he said. “He was a true friend. A loving, if somewhat wayward, son.” He acknowledged the Walkers. Billy's mum had a handkerchief covering her face. “A caring, if somewhat undependable, boyfriend.” His gaze fell on Edie, who was trying not to cry again. “But still a friend. A true, true friend.” His voice wobbled and he steadied himself before continuing. “But most of all, there was the music. The most important thing in his life was the band, and he achieved more than he could have ever believed possible in such a short space of time.” He paused, taking another deep breath. “The void caused by this tragic accident will be hard to fill and no-one will ever be able to replace him.”
* * *
Caro listened to Alik, her heart breaking. She desperately wanted to comfort him, to hold him, to tell him that it was all going to be okay. When she looked up at last, the casket was making its slow journey behind the curtains, never to be seen again.
One of the ushers gave another signal and it was time to move on.
As they filed out of the chapel into the garden, the sun blazed down, and the assembled group milled around looking at the flowers people had sent. Caro distanced herself from the main crowd, choosing instead to stand by the walled garden and read messages of sympathy for another family. Turning her back on the sight of Edie clinging to Olivia, sobbing, she tried to compose herself.
She felt someone beside her and breathed in the familiar scent of Alik's aftershave.
“How are you?” she asked.
“Been better.” Up close, she could see that his eyes were tired and bloodshot, and he wasn't as clean-shaven as she would have expected. She wanted to support him, make it better, but something held her back. “You?”
“Coping, it's been a lot to take in,” she said.
He nodded. “Caro, I...”
Edie appeared in front of them. “Sorry to interrupt, but Alik we need to go now.”
Caro forced a smile. “Of course, I'll see you later.”
And they were gone.
* * *
After the funeral service, Caro and Nic had invited everyone back to The Indigo Lounge. The sign on the door read ‘Closed for a private function’, but there were still a few people who came to see what was going on, trying to peer through the windows.
Billy's parents and assorted family gathered on one side of the room, with the band, and Poppy and Olivia sat in the other. Edie was dividing her time between the two sets of people, the strain of the day beginning to show.
Alik had already made heavy inroads into the alcohol, helping himself to a bottle of single malt whisky from behind the bar.
“Mate,” said Nic. “If you're going to drink us dry, at least do it with the cheap stuff.”
“Whatever,” Alik said, taking a glass and stalking off in the direction of the VIP bar for some privacy. He was slightly put out to see that Edie had got there before him.
“Sorry,” she said. “I just felt I needed to be on my own for a while. Everyone's being so nice.”
“I know how you feel.” He sat down on the sofa and poured a hefty measure of whisky into the glass. “Want some?”
She shook her head, covering her belly with her hands. “I don't think this little one would appreciate it somehow. Although Daddy is a bad influence.”
Alik forced a weak smile, mentally punching himself for trying to encourage a pregnant woman to drink. He swigged a mouthful directly from the bottle. “How are you doing really?”
“It's hard,” Edie said. “Everyone else has been asking me exactly the same question all day, almost as if they have to, and I feel like a robot when I answer. I know you've been amazing and been there for me, but I can't help feeling as if everything that happened that night was my fault and they should be blaming me.”
“What makes you say that?”
“We were arguing. About you. Billy kept going on about how being with me somehow meant that he'd got one over on you, that suddenly you weren't perfect and didn't have everything you ever wanted. And that he could have Caro any time he wanted.”
Alik bristled. There had always been a rivalry between the pair, which went back years, to the early days of the band and the nights they had spent sleeping in the back of vans. Or, if they'd got lucky, on the floor of someone's house whilst the other one got the luxury of the girl's bed.
Edie continued. “We were in the car and he was yelling at me. I told him to slow down, that I wanted him to stop, but he wouldn’t listen. And then something ran into the road and he swerved…” Her voice trailed off.
Alik took her hand in his. “It's not your fault, no-one blames you, how can you even think that? Billy shouldn't have been anywhere near a car that night, he'd been drinking and was totally off his face. I should know, I was doing it with him. You know what he was like, you couldn't tell him not to do anything because he'd go ahead and do it anyway.”
Edie laughed softly. Her eyes filled with tears, threatening to spill down her cheeks again.
Alik was suddenly aware that he was caressing the back of her left hand, gently soothing her. He pulled back, not wanting to give Edie the wrong signals.
“Oh, God, I miss him so much!” Edie said. “I know we hadn't been together all that long, but we just clicked, we just kind of got each other I suppose. It was different than it was with you.” The tears were now flowing freely, running unheeded down her face. Her shoulders started to heave as she sobbed uncontrollably.
Alik took her in his arms, holding her close to him, gently stroking her long hair, breathing in her scent. He was acutely conscious of her closeness and the way her body felt against his. After a few moments, she drew back, breathing deeply and snuffling, staring deep in Alik's eyes.
“God, I must look awful,” she said, blinking.
“You're gorgeous, you know that.” Alik wiped the tears from her eyes with his thumb, streaking mascara across her cheek.
Their eyes locked. Edie's hand closed over Alik's, guiding him down to her lips. He traced the outline of her mouth before she drew his index finger in, sucking gen
tly on it. Alik felt his groin stirring, strangely turned on by the situation, grief mixing with need. He felt her reach down to the belt on his trousers, then reach for his cock and he tensed, growing hard under her touch.
“What the fuck...” he said.
“Ssshhh. Just let me make it better. I need you, Alik.”
“Jesus, what are you doing?” He pushed her away, confused, the emotions of the day coupled with alcohol on an empty stomach overwhelming him.
“It's called grieving, Alik,” said Edie. “And being pregnant makes me horny.”
“I said I’d look after you, but I can’t be with you like that again. You should go, I need to be on my own.”
After Edie left, Alik lay there for a long time, staring at the ceiling. He was in need of a cigarette but couldn't be bothered to move. Edie's behaviour was erratic, no doubt her hormones were all over the place because of the baby, not to mention whatever she was feeling over Billy's death. He knew he was doing the right thing in standing by her, but missed Caro deeply. He didn't know what to do.
He grabbed the neck of the whisky bottle, raised it to his lips, and began to drink.
Chapter Fifty-Six
Despite everything that had happened at the wake, Alik insisted on accompanying Edie to her booking appointment. Things had been strained between them and he had found himself going out every night to make sure he wasn’t giving Edie the wrong message. He was helping her out as a friend, as the father of her baby. He was being responsible. He wasn’t about to be her boyfriend again. He had an escape route planned in any case, as he needed to be in London for a meeting with Parker and Griffen later that afternoon. Edie had initially resisted, saying she would be okay on her own and being vague about what the appointment would entail. He almost regretted his decision the moment they walked into the waiting room at North Ridge's independent private hospital. Heads swivelled around to check out the new arrivals. His eyes fell on the back issue of The Goss with Edie's interview lying on the table. But he couldn't think about Caro at this moment. This was about his and Edie's future. He was apprehensive and excited at the same time. He knew his life would be different, but there were plenty of other rock stars that managed to juggle a tour schedule and fatherhood. If there was to be a tour now. That was something else he couldn't think about.
Cocktails, Rock Tales & Betrayals Page 23