by Freda, Paula
The celebration of Mass followed. Abby waited, at first impatient, then as prayer followed prayer, she felt the holy words diffuse the impatience with clarity of thought. Johnny, ever patient, ever caring. Johnny, who was fully aware of her lingering feelings for Jason, the man who had long ago rejected her, left her broken-hearted and pining. Johnny, who sensed her watching him, and turned, and gently caressed her cheek as he sent her a reassuring smile, despite the resignation in his eyes, golden brown in the combined glow of candlelight and the sunlight streaming through stained glass windows.
Who loved her more, which one needed her more, she pondered? Which one did she love more? She sighed, not sure, grateful for Johnny's comforting smile, and turned her gaze to Christ crucified. She must make a decision, and soon.
CHAPTER TEN
The prayer service over, the congregation left the pews and filed back through the double doors to the street. Jessica waited beside Jason, for the church to empty. Abby and Johnny approached the pair, noting how Jason sat rigid, fingers gripping the wheelchair's arms. He was frightened, Abby thought. But why? He had never been frightened of her. Embarrassed, impatient, weary, but never frightened.
She needed to put Jason at ease. She bit her lower lip, struggling to find the right words. "Thank you for agreeing to see us," Abby said. It was imperative that he did not mistake her concern for pity. I was so worried about you. What happened?"
His movements spasmodic, Jason raised his head to meet her gaze. "Car ... car accident," he said. "My spine ... damaged."
"I wish I'd known before. I would have come to see you long before today."
Jason glanced up at Johnny. He told Abby, "You've done ... well ... for yourself."
The jerking movements of his head and body as he spoke, tore at Abby's heart. Barely a shadow was left of the man she remembered, strong, nimble, muscular and athletic. She couldn't stand looking down at him, watching him fight to keep his head up as he addressed Johnny. "Abby and I are ... old ... friends, you know."
"Yes, Abby filled me in. And any friend of Abby's is a friend of mine as well. I think you might know a buddy of mine who suffered a similar injury when a land mine exploded under the army jeep he was unfortunately driving. His name is James —"
"Yes, yes ... James, I know him. He ... he's about my age, dark hair, blue eyes. Real ... Really nice guy. So you were ... in the Army?"
"Yes, James and I were in the same unit. I was one of the lucky soldiers who came back unharmed. Fact is, I might have returned home in a wheelchair as well, if at all, since I was scheduled to ride with James that afternoon, except for a last minute change of orders."
"How ... bizarre life can be." Jason gazed at Abby. "Lying in the ... hospital ... bed, I thought about you ... a lot. You know—"
"Excuse me," Johnny said. "Would you mind if Jessica introduces me to the Priest who conducted the services today. He's at the front entrance, and I'd like to catch him before he leaves."
Jessica offered, "Yes, of course. Abby, would you mind staying with Jason for a few minutes."
Abby felt a moment of panic. To be left alone with Jason, without Johnny's support. "No, not at all," she lied.
"Thank you," Jessica smiled. She slipped her arm under Johnny's. "Come on."
Anxiety must have shown on her face, because Jason said, "I-I think your fiancé is ... giving us some time ... alone."
Abby gazed down at Jason, surprised at his comment. She didn't remember his ever taking the time to figure out someone else's reasoning.
"Abby, please, would ... would you mind ... moving my chair closer ... to the aisle ... and sitting in the pew. It's ... It's hard for me to keep ... my head steady ... while ... staring up at you."
"Oh, of course, Jason." Abby quickly did as he asked.
When their faces were level, he smiled at her. "Thank you. I can talk better this ... this way. Less jerking. I'm glad Jessica and your Johnny are ... are giving us a few moments of privacy. There are some things I'd like to say to you, if-if you don't mind, that is."
"I'm all ears, Jason," Abby said.
"Pretty ears, at that." Jason quipped. "You always listened. I-I was the one who didn't."
Abby placed her hand on his. She felt the tremors in his fingers.
"Abby, leaving you was the dumbest thing I ever did. I've known that for a long time."
With his face level with hers, his speech was improving. "I've wanted to-to apologize to you for the longest time. I was a selfish, egotistical fool to think I was better than you ... or anyone else. You know, those first few weeks in the hospital, after the doctor delivered his di ... diagnosis, I blamed God for allowing the accident to happen to me, despite it was my ... my own fault. It even crossed my mind, you might have put a hex on me in revenge. You didn't, did you?" He asked, hesitantly.
Abby couldn't help the chuckle. "Oh God, No, Jason. Even if I'd wanted to, I don't have that kind of power."
Jason nodded complacently. "Well," he went on, "Nurse Jessica took an interest in me. I guess she felt sorry for me. I was awfully crabby and impossible with everyone. I don't believe I would have made it this far ... without her patience and friendship. She's helped me see that there's hope for me. God hasn't turned away from me. My injuries are not a ... punishment for my past."
"You have it right, Jason. And your speech is almost normal. You've hardly spasmed."
"Yes, it's the way I hold my head, facing level with whomever I'm speaking. It's taken a lot of therapy, but the doctors are hopeful. I may even ... walk again some day. If I don't give up. And I won't give up. Jessica won't let me."
"You like Jessica a lot, don't you?"
"I'm in love with her," Jason said, eyes misting with recrimination. "Stupid me, selfish, I'm still selfish. I've got nerve even daring to feel attracted to her."
"No Jason, that's not selfishness. Loving someone is never selfishness. It's what we do with that love that determines what we truly are. If there were someone else in her life — but from what I've gathered from previous conversations, there isn't. Am I right?"
Jason nodded.
Abby went on. "Then it's not selfish to let her know how you feel about her. True, if she feels uncomfortable with your attraction, she may walk away. But even that mustn't stop you from doing all in your power to regain your health as much as possible."
Jason swallowed hard, an expression of misery splaying across his drawn features.
Abby quickly added, "No, don't give up. Think all she's done for you these past years. Please don't tell her I said this, but I can assure you that she's been in love with you from the start, way before your accident."
"How do you know we'd met before?"
"She told me."
He paused a moment to digest that information.
"And you think —?"
"Yes, and you remember from our time together, that my gut feelings usually panned out."
He was quiet for a moment. A deep sigh preambled a humble smile. "I think the Lord has answered my prayer, in a way I never expected. He sent me you to renew my failing spirit, something even my dear Jessica hasn't been able to do completely." A heady pause, and "Oh, how could I have missed it, the reason behind all she's done for me, far and beyond a nurse's duties. Abby, I hope you're right."
"Well, there is only one way left to find out. Tell her how you feel and ask her to marry you."
"Marry me? In my condition?"
"Jason, love can be blind. But true love can see beyond the physical, into the soul. And your soul is so different now from what it was in the past. I think your sufferings, along with Jessica's ministering, have tempered the old darkness inside you. Your spirit shines with real love for her."
"You can say such things to me after the way I treated you, using you for my convenience — for which I apologize with all my heart."
"Jason, I said love is blind. And I was blind to our differences. I was never the right one for you. I had none of the qualities you were looking for in a
woman."
"That's not true. You were a wonderful woman, kind, giving, honest."
Abby held her breath, listening to her heart skip a beat. "Jason, I would have climbed Mount Everest to hear those words from you at that time. But truth be told again, I had none of the traits you were searching for in a life-partner."
Jason opened his mouth to protest, but Abby added, "And neither did you have the qualities I needed to find happiness. I apologize that I wasn't smart enough to see that, and not go out with you in the first place."
Jason lowered his gaze, admitting to the truth in Abby's words.
"It's all right, old friend, Abby said. "We've learned from our mistakes. And now, we both have a good chance to find the happiness we've been searching for."
Jason's pallor seemed to lessen and warm with newfound color. "God Bless You, Abby."
"Shall I wheel you over to Jessica?" Abby asked, glancing at the trio by the front door conversing.
"Yes, please, Abby. I'm anxious to begin my new life."
"Me too," Abby said, heartbeat quickening.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
A few more greetings and farewells, and Abby bent and kissed Jason's cheek. "We'll visit you again. We're all going to become the best of friends, I promise."
A kiss and a quick brush of her lips near Jessica's ear, Abby whispered, "Don't tell him your source, but he told me he's in love with you."
She faced the priest, hoping her frame blocked the astonished expression on Jessica's face. "Goodbye Father. It was a pleasure meeting you."
Slipping her arm under Johnny's, she said to him, "Let's go home."
Johnny was quiet as they walked through the church parking lot toward his car. Once settled inside, he started the ignition, then shut it off, and hands gripping the steering wheel, turned to her with a serious, weary expression.
"Abby, what did you whisper in Jessica's ear?"
Abby grimaced. "I should have realized you'd catch me. You rarely miss anything."
"That's what I learned in boot camp and fighting on the front."
"I had to make sure they knew. They might have gone months, or years, without admitting the truth to each other." Abby chuckled. Amazing how free and at ease she felt, the confusion and uncertain feelings gone at last."
"And what exactly was that truth?" Johnny asked, brow furrowing.
What was going through his mind! Abby wondered. Better tell him the truth.
"I made sure they both knew they were in love with each other." People can be so blind. Take for instance, my good friends, Julie and Evan. If I hadn't intervened, they might have gone their separate ways and never realized their future together."
Johnny's hands gripping the steering wheel relaxed, and he rubbed his forehead, his breath rushing out.
Abby made a face. "I know, I'm a buttinsky. But I had to make sure they knew."
"You were that certain about their feelings."
"Yes, I was, because they each confided to me in turn."
"And do you think they will ever confide in you again, now that you've broken their trust in you?"
"Well, I-I told each not to reveal their source. And after all," she insisted, "I was making sure they didn't miss their chance at happiness."
Johnny shook his head, exasperated. Abby scrunched her lips. She'd done it again. Irrepressible Abby had done it again. Believing herself foredoomed, she asked, "Are you very angry with me? Are you regretting asking me to marry you?"
His chuckle astonished her. "Abby! When will you believe that I love you, for yourself.
"Flaws and all?" she asked tremulously, recalling his declarations of love.
"You are not flawed, in my opinion. You're just Abby being Abby. Exasperating at times, but ever lovely to me, inside and out."
It was all she hoped to hear. She threw her arms around him, excitedly, nearly caroming him into the door. "Johnny, I love you more than I can ever put into words. Please don't ever leave me, don't give up on me."
Johnny laughed, a warm, sincere, adoring laugh. "Not likely, sweet Abby, not after what I've gone through to win your heart."
EPILOGUE
(Eight Years Later)
Early Christmas morning, Six-year-old Johnny Thorvald Sands, named after his father and grandfather, motioned excitedly to his sister, Julie, younger by three years, to come down the stairs quickly and join him in the living room. The twins, toddlers Harriet and Evan were still asleep. Mom and Dad as well. Except for Julie's mild interest, Johnny wondered why he seemed to be the only one in his home who worried about whether Baby Jesus had arrived, and Santa Claus stopped at their house, slid down the chimney, eaten the cookies, and drank the milk, and left them presents under the tall Christmas Tree with all the pretty ornaments.
With his sister in tow, he entered the living room. His eyes lit with excitement. Colorfully wrapped gifts were stacked at an angle around the base of the tree. He glanced at the Nativity set on the folding snack table nearby. Inside the stable, Baby Jesus lay smiling in the manger on his bed of hay between Mary and Joseph. On the coffee table, only a few cookie crumbs remained in the plate, and the glass of milk drained to the last drop. He sighed with relief. All was as he hoped.
"Julie, let's go look at the gifts. Remember we're not allowed to open them until Mom and Dad come down, but we can look and try to guess."
They examined the gifts, listening to the noises made by the contents as they shook the boxes, forming images in their minds of what might be inside — almost as much fun as opening them — until Dad's voice startled them to attention.
"Daddy, Mommy!" Johnny called excitedly running toward the stairs. "Santa Claus came!"
Julie pointed to the plate of cookie crumbs. "He ate all the cookies you made. And all the milk."
Abby laughed. "That he did," she said, nudging her husband's arm and winking at him.
John smiled. "Who can resist Mom's cookies?" he remarked, kissing the tip of her nose. Husband and Wife exchanged a loving glance.
"All right, now," John said. "Let's all gather around the tree and open those presents." He and Abby tightened the belts on their robes and hurried down the remainder of the steps.
On the landing, John pulled Abby into his arms, pointing above her, where the mistletoe hung. He didn't have to ask twice. Eagerly she stood on tiptoe, arms hugging his waist, lips meeting his in a tender kiss.
♥♥
*****************************
Cinderella Ice
by Dorothy P. Freda
writing as
Marianne Dora Rose
© November 1, 2016 by Dorothy P. Freda
Smashwords Edition
(Pseudonyms — Paula Freda and
Marianne Dora Rose)
Exterior and Interior Bookcover photos
Licensed by Dorothy P. Freda from iStockphoto
Blue Jay and Sparrow bookcover
© 2005 Thomas Mark Freda and Dorothy P. Freda
Vincent van Gogh's "The Starry Night" -
(public domain) Wikipedia
"Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart."
Washington Irving"
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof. This is a work of fiction; names, characters, places and incidents are a product of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
For your ready reference, Characters in this book:
Jessica (Jessie) Carlson — younger daughter of the Carlsons (Cybelle and Mark Carlson)
The Carlsons — Jessie's parents (Cybelle and Mark from my novella The Blue Jay and the Sparrow — Roses in the Dark)
The Driscolls — Seth and Leatrice — owners of the Bar LB and the Triple R (from my novella, Driscoll's Lady)
Tom Driscoll — The Driscoll's elder son, a History Teacher at Montana Tech.
Calvin Driscoll — Seth and Leatrice's younger son and current supervisor
of their two ranches
Walt — the bigamist and a ranch hand on the Driscoll's ranches
Carol and her husband Herbert DeLuca — Carol is Cybelle's and Mark Carlson's elder daughter,
Jessie's elder sister (from my novella, Silvereye's Hummingbird)
Michael Sands — elder son of Harriet and Val Sands (from my novella Henderson Sands)
Geraldine and Harry Henderson (Housekeeper and her husband the gardener on the Carlsons' property overlooking the Hudson River Valley in upstate New York)
Tanner and his wife Linda — (Tanner — previous loyal, long-time foreman on the Driscolls' ranches in Montana — from my novella — Driscoll's Lady)
"Love is never lost. If not reciprocated,
it will flow back and soften and purify the heart."
Washington Irving"
PREFACE
At the age of nineteen, the Carlson's younger daughter, Jessica, Jessie for short, eloped with Walt, a ranch hand on Seth and Leatrice Driscoll's ranches. Jessie had met Walt in her early teens during her visits to the Driscolls' ranches, and had developed a crush on him. Her mother, Cybelle Carlson, was Leatrice Driscoll's best friend. The love stories of both mothers were legendary among their family members.