by Amy Tasukada
“Do you want to do the tasting with me? I could use a second opinion.”
“What one is from Korea? That’ll be the best one.”
Nao laughed. “I should’ve known you’d say that. There’s actually one grown from Korea in this selection, one from Japan, and the others are from China.”
“I bet the Korean one will win.”
Nao grinned. “What do you bet?”
“You want to play it that way?”
“If you’re not the betting type…” Nao trailed off and smiled at Saehyun.
Nao knew he’d win the bet since the Japanese tea was already on the shelf and had already gone through several tastings, while the others had been mailed in by his tea broker only the week before. The bet would create another debt for Saehyun. On top of that, when he lost, he would want to even it out and come again. A fluttering tickled Nao’s chest like the curled oolong leaves against his palm.
“I’ll top when you pick the Korean tea.” Saehyun winked.
“That would be something new. And if you pick the Japanese one?”
“Business as usual.”
“Agreed.” Nao raised an eyebrow. “So you ready?”
Nao hadn’t kept his voice down, so their bet was explicit enough to drive Takeo out. He grabbed his magazine and headed to the kitchen. It was nice to be alone with Saehyun, even if only for a few minutes. After grabbing a bag of tea, Nao placed the tea into the cup and added a lid, doing the same for the others.
“Wait, wait. You know the order of these already.”
“I’ll get the waiter to mix them up.”
“Where’s he from?”
“I don’t think he cares which one of us tops.”
Nao called to the kitchen, getting the young waiter to shuffle and prepare the teas for them. It took a few minutes, but then he wrote down the results on a paper.
“That’s right—did you want pork or vegetable?” Nao asked.
“What?”
“Dumplings?”
“I’m not hungry.”
Nao caught Saehyun’s mistake. So his visit was only for pleasure. Was it bad that Nao was attracted to someone so brash and so close to the thugs he’d dealt with in the past, men he kept trying to forget? He couldn’t let himself fall to the underworld as he had before. He was a different person today.
Saehyun cracked his knuckles. “Let’s get down to business.”
“Traditionally, you first examine the leaves, then the tea appearance. Finally, you taste, letting it linger a moment on your tongue before swallowing.”
“I don’t like swallowing, remember?” Saehyun winked again.
“Tea is a little different.”
Nao took one of the cups, closed his eyes, and pressed the cup against his lips. A deep tang bit into his nose with a floral, citrus blossoming after. The first taste was hot in his mouth, but the second and third deepened the mixture and flourished a lingering orange. He savored the taste before opening his eyes and saw Saehyun doing the same. He only did first tastings with his kitchen staff; there was something to be said about sharing tea with someone. The sensual experience of tasting and exploring a new sensation together, it was as if he shared a part of himself with Saehyun.
“Here, let me get a cloth to wipe the rim.”
“To hell with that. We’ve shared other body fluids.”
Nao’s cheeks grew hot. He wondered if the kitchen staff were able to hear. It was true, and if asked he wouldn’t deny it, but the fact that Saehyun was so casual about it threw him off. Nao grabbed a washcloth, rubbing the brim of the cup before turning it and putting it back down for Saehyun.
“I said cut the crap.” Saehyun grabbed the cloth and dropped it on the floor.
Nao closed his eyes. It was time to relax and not let formality control him. He took another cup and pressed it to his lips.
“This one is very deep—”
Nao held up his hand. ”You’re not supposed to tell me what you think. If you tell me what something tastes like, then there’s no way I can make sure I’m not being influenced by your thoughts.”
“So you’re saying I can influence your thoughts.” Saehyun’s grin was wide enough to see over the tasting cup.
“This is the way it is done.”
“Who says?” asks Saehyun.
“The tea specialists.”
“They were probably snooty Japanese.”
“Chinese,” Nao corrected. “Tea came from China.”
“Shut up. Your talk of the Chinese is going to influence my tasting of the tea.”
Nao laughed, tea tickling in his throat.
“They’re nicer than the Japanese,” Saehyun continued. “Didn’t occupy our country and force us into slave labor to build railroad tracks and turn our women into sex slaves.”
Nao rolled his eyes. No country would let Japan move past what happened during the war. “Shut up and drink the tea.”
The two drank in silence for a few long minutes. Nao scribbled some notes on a notepad.
“What did you think?”
“This one was best.” Saehyun pointed to the one in the middle.
“I thought so too.”
Nao turned the paper and grinned. “That’s the Japanese one.”
“Damn.”
“Sadly, I’ll have to agree,” Nao said.
“What? You really wanted my—”
“No. I already have this tea. I wanted to find a new one. This lands me back where I was before. Should we go to your place for a change?”
“Your place would be better. I, ah, live with roommates.”
If Saehyun lived with roommates, perhaps he lived in the Double Moon safe house. He was crass enough to be in charge of cleaning up after the main leaders. He had to be some low-ranking guy with enough free time to think up so many lewd jokes.
“My place, then. Let me tell the kitchen staff they’re solo for the rest of the night.”
Saehyun shrugged. “Maybe now that waiter can change out of the old-man yukata.”
Nao went back to the kitchen. The waiter and the cook were playing cards with Takeo.
“I’m heading out for the night.”
“Heading out? Where?” Takeo glanced over his cards.
“We’re going back to my place.”
“You and the host? Not planning any trips to Tokyo, are you?”
Tokyo—it was Takeo’s favorite topic of conversation. Nao’s thoughts were tangled, and a fire ignited inside him.
“Don’t talk about Tokyo,” Nao said through clenched teeth.
“You say you’ve changed so much these past years, but there you are fucking a host. I want to make sure I don’t need to give up another finger because of your shit.”
“I’m going home.”
“I’ll give you a five-minute head start, and then I’m following you.”
“That’s generous. I was sure you’d want to hold my hand.”
“I’m not a faggot like you. We’re almost done here. I don’t want to end the game because you want to fuck.”
Saehyun’s gaze lingered on the small steps of Nao’s stride. His loud, wooden clogs were dulled against the carpeted apartment hallway. The collar of his dark yukata was pulled down more than usual, and tousled hair exposed the white of his neck along with the scar. It ran all the way from the front to halfway across the back.
“Have you always worn those old-man clothes?” Saehyun asked.
Nao reached inside his sleeve and pulled out his keys. “I used to wear suits.”
“So you were an office worker before?”
“Something like that.”
Nao smiled, and the offhandedness of the comment piqued Saehyun’s curiosity. He was drawn toward Nao in a way he’d never believed could happen. Saehyun still had so much
to discover about him and couldn’t help wanting to know everything about the tea-obsessed Japanese man.
The two walked into the apartment. The door shut behind them, and Nao pinned Saehyun against the wooden surface. Their lips met, and Nao’s tongue darted between Saehyun’s parted lips. Saehyun soaked in his essence and completely surrendered to the smaller man’s will. Desperation fluttered about each of Nao’s kisses, as if he worried Saehyun would disappear if the passion wasn’t there.
“What the—” Saehyun broke the kiss after feeling a strange caressing against his ankle. “Oh, it’s your cat.”
“Did she scare you?” Nao pulled away to slide off his shoes.
Saehyun knelt, untying his boot while Kuma played with the ends of the laces. He smiled, petting the cat, who leaned into his touch, purring.
“She’s friendly for a cat.”
“She doesn’t have many visitors.”
“You’re a lonely old man.”
“I’m not old.”
Saehyun laughed, loving the way Nao’s eyes lit up at the joke. He gave the cat a final scratch under her chin and traded in his shoes for slippers.
“Would you like some tea?” Nao asked.
“We just had tea. Remember, you won.”
“It’s what you’re supposed to offer guests.”
“Why are you so formal all of a sudden? Your dick was in my mouth, not to mention up my ass.”
Nao looked off to the side, his cheeks reddening, making Saehyun want to tease him more. A few moments ago, Nao had pinned him against the wall in a kiss, yet still his cheeks were flushed.
“Damn, loosen up.” Saehyun winked.
“I…sorry.” Nao glanced to the bed. “Do you want to get down to business then?”
Nao’s eyes held such desperation in them.
“We don’t have to have sex right away unless you want to,” Saehyun said.
“You did it so easily before, I didn’t think…”
“Did what? Oh, you mean the blow job. That means nothing. Besides, I wouldn’t have offered unless I thought you were hot.”
“Oh, um…”
Nao was so innocent, even when he pretended sex meant nothing to him. Saehyun almost doubted he was older. His house was too sterile and minimalist. The only thing remotely cluttered was the family altar notched in the wall beside the entry. A half dozen typical black-and-white photographs were clustered to the side, along with two others in color. A spent incense stick was placed alongside a bowl of white rice. Saehyun traced Nao’s features through the generations—a nose here, a mouth shape blended between two others there.
“Who are these people?”
“Relatives. You know, keeping the photographs your parents give you. I never met half of them.”
“And this guy?” Saehyun grabbed a photo of a man with spiked blond hair, Nao’s arm hanging over his shoulder. Nao looked so different in a suit and with a beer in his hand, but by the slick grin across his face, it was clear the two were lovers. “Some kind of rock star?”
A faint smile crossed Nao’s lips. “Just a host.”
“He looks young. What happened?”
Nao grabbed the picture frame out of Saehyun’s hand and put it back with the others on the altar. He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, and Saehyun knew he’d asked too much. He wanted to know more about Nao, to see if they could come together outside the bedroom.
“I couldn’t—” Nao looked down, hair covering half his face. “There was an accident.”
“So he’s Shinya?”
Nao put the photo face down. “I don’t...”
“Who’s the lady with your eyes?” Saehyun changed the subject. It worked, and Nao looked up to the photograph.
“She’s my mother. She’s actually not really dead—or, well, maybe she could be.”
“Then why stick her in the shrine?”
“She left when I was thirteen. Hasn’t made any contact since.”
Saehyun’s fingers traced Nao’s forearm, the only part not covered by his yukata sleeve. “It must be hard, the nagging feeling she could talk with you but doesn’t.”
“She warned me she would leave if I kept it up, but I was stupid.”
“What did you do?”
Saehyun caught Nao’s gaze from between the strands of his hair. Had Saehyun pushed too far too soon? All he wanted was to learn more about him and not just have Nao as another guy he had sex with. There was something more to him. Everyone else Saehyun ever hooked up with was somehow related to the underworld, and Nao with his traditional clothes was the exact opposite. Saehyun needed to remember what being detached from the underworld was like.
Nao tilted his head back up, his expression stony. “You decided having a conversation before we screw would help you feel less guilty?”
“We would already be in bed if I didn’t care. I’m trying to get to know you.”
“That’s funny coming from someone who told me two weeks ago not to get attached.”
“You’re not half-bad for Japanese. We can get to it if you want, but…” Saehyun trailed off, leaving it for Nao to decide.
Nao pressed his lips together as if calculating the risk. “I’ll speak, but you’ll have to tell me about your family as well.”
“I don’t have much to tell.”
“You speak, or I don’t.”
“I’ll squawk like a crow for you, then.”
Nao tried to hide his laugh, but Saehyun saw right through those tightly pressed lips. He’d have to think of more bad bird jokes to use on Nao in the future.
“I was placed in a juvenile detention center for fighting after breaking a kid’s arm in three places. He insulted my family,” Nao said. “I was stupid and would fight when someone would look at me funny.”
“So she was disgraced?”
“She said I would become the kind of person she hoped her son would never be. She left, end of story.”
“That wasn’t too bad, was it?” asked Saehyun.
Nao ran his fingers down Saehyun’s stitched-up arm. “It looks like it’s getting better. But what would your parents think of their son in a canal at two in the morning?”
“They’re both ash.” Saehyun laughed. “So they wouldn’t think much.”
“So you have no family, then? Aunts, uncles?”
Saehyun closed his eyes, thinking back. It was only fair he tell the truth. Even then, he didn’t want to burden Nao with everything. He wanted to keep Nao untainted by his life. Saehyun rocked back on his heels. It might’ve been easier if they screwed first, but he wasn’t going to go back on his word.
“My father got a job in Japan when I was fourteen. A few months later, he hung himself after the company announced they were bankrupt. He left some debts, and my mother found her own way to ease the pain. She died about a year later.”
“Sorry, I didn’t realize…”
“It’s in the past. Best to forget and move on, yeah?” Saehyun smiled.
He squeezed Nao’s hand, expressing all the positive feelings he could. Saehyun had pushed his past aside and wanted Nao to know he didn’t think about it much. The cat rubbed against Saehyun’s leg.
“Is she hungry?” Saehyun asked.
“You want to make her fatter. She wants to play. Here, I’ll get something.”
Nao walked off to the bedroom with Saehyun following, flopping onto the bed as Nao slid open the closet door. Saehyun couldn’t help noticing a dozen yukatas in various shades of blue folded neatly in the closet.
“You really wear only yukatas?”
Nao pulled out a plastic fishing-pole toy attached to a feather by a string. “I have a suit in here, just in case.”
“In case of what?”
“A funeral, maybe.” Nao handed the stick to Saehyun. “Yukatas are comfort
able, and I’m doing my part to keep the old traditions alive. You should try. Korea must have some forgotten traditional costume.”
The cat leaped onto the bed and padded her way to Saehyun’s lap. He teased her with the toy, and she wriggled her butt before pouncing on the dangling feather. Nao sat beside him and watched with a smile that Saehyun wondered if he always got when someone played with his pussy.
“So where do you work?” Nao asked.
Saehyun ran a hand down Nao’s back, hoping he would forget his question.
“You know I work at a tea shop. It’s only fair.”
“A small company. Nothing too big.”
“What do you do?”
Saehyun’s hand continued to trail down Nao’s spine. Nao asked so many questions, but he supposed he asked them too. Maybe it was time he paid up Nao’s winnings.
“I help manage loans. You know, tons of paperwork.”
Staring deeply into Nao’s large eyes, Saehyun saw himself and the lie he’d told. It was to keep Nao safe, away from the tainted underworld. Nao reached up, pressing his hand against Saehyun’s cheek. Saehyun closed his eyes. Saehyun longed to finally be in a relationship for more than a night, but none had been serious before. Nao was different.
“Your hand is cold,” Saehyun whispered.
“I wonder. Do you have a preference?”
“A preference for what?”
“You said you never liked the taste. Are you usually with women or…”
Saehyun couldn’t help smiling. Nao worried about that? “Whatever is fine with me. Hey, who was the acorn-head guy, then?”
“Who?” Nao laughed.
“He was here when I brought you the porridge.”
Nao looked off to the side. “I don’t have a boyfriend, if that’s what you’re trying to ask, and I think it’s rude for you to worry about such a thing when you’re the one who throws himself at me.”
“Shit, Nao. That’s not what I meant.”
“What do you want from me? You had a million other shops you could have gone into to get out of the rain. You want to fuck me, fine, but don’t pretend it’s something it’s not by asking me questions about my past.”
The question hung in the air. What had he done to piss off Nao so much? Was it the talk of a boyfriend? Saehyun was the one that had paused their make-out session and started asking personal questions. He was the one that decided to see Nao, and it wasn’t because the shop just happened to be in the ward they were taking over. Why did Nao have to send so many mixed signals?