by Kim Law
But when his mom died, Nick lost the urge to fight. Dani didn’t need that crap from him. She had too many other issues to deal with. So he’d calmed down. At least, until he’d dropped out of school and started climbing onto bulls.
When Dani looked back at him now, a question on her face, his thoughts came to a screeching halt. “What?” he snapped.
He had no idea what he’d missed, and thoughts of his mom threatened a bad mood.
Dani eyed him carefully. “Did you want something to eat or not?”
“Oh.” He glanced at Haley, who remained in his arms, and caught her smiling oddly at him.
“What was you thinking about, Uncle Nick? My Momma said your name three times.”
“Just”—he tucked his chin, pulling in a breath and banishing thoughts of his mother from his mind—“whether I wanted a hot dog or pizza.” He brought his gaze up, aware that his breathing had grown ragged, and found his sister still watching him.
Nick ignored her and leaned in to place his order. Dani knew him well, she’d practically raised him, after all, but that didn’t mean he’d spill his guts to her simply because she gave him a look.
“How about we sit at that table over there,” Ben said. He pointed toward a long bench already half full of people that was situated directly in front of the balloon-animal booth.
“Can we get me a balloon, too?”
Ben picked up the tray of food. “A rodeo wouldn’t be complete without one.”
He led the way to the table, but before Dani followed, she stopped Nick. “Are you okay?”
“Couldn’t be better,” he answered.
Her mouth turned down in a frown, and when she opened it as if to question him further, Nick pushed past her and moved to the table. He settled in beside Ben, and the two of them talked about manly things. Not feelings and whatever other shit he could see sitting inside his sister’s head. Ever since she’d come back from New York, she’d made it a point to call each of them on a regular basis. She was seeing a shrink to work on her remaining issues with their mom, and she’d gotten it into her head that the rest of them needed to talk about their feelings, as well.
But Nick didn’t need to talk about anything. He was good.
The flat stance of being “good” reminded him of Harper. Didn’t she claim to be “fine”? At the same time that she crossed his mind, his gaze landed on her. She stood beside Jewel a couple of buildings down, her jeans outlining her perfectly tight rear and her hands propped on her hips. He’d given her space the last few days. She’d been busy, and he got that. She’d needed to sort through her thoughts. So he hadn’t bothered her.
But looking at her now, he was suddenly in the mood to bother.
She might say they needed to slow down, but he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Or wanting her. Or wanting to make sure she was thinking of and wanting him.
He hadn’t lied when he’d said he’d enjoyed hanging out with her as much as kissing her. Or, it had only been a partial lie. He enjoyed the kissing a hell of a lot. But it had been a long time since he’d run into anyone whose company he truly enjoyed. Harper was smart and didn’t mince words. She called it like she saw it—and her seeing him made him want to open up and show her more.
Which was scary in its own right. He’d never wanted anyone to talk to.
“We didn’t just come to watch your ride tonight,” Dani said, pulling his attention away from Harper. His sister scooped up some baked beans with her fork but paused before shoving them into her mouth. “We wanted to invite you to dinner tomorrow. We’re heading out of town for the next few weeks, going to be spending some time traveling across Canada.”
“A few weeks?” Nick parroted.
Dani nodded. “We’ll be back in July.”
“So you won’t be home until after I’m gone?” He suddenly felt even more alone than he did at the house all by himself.
“Well, yeah, but”—worry crossed Dani’s face—“you’ll be back for harvest, right? We’ll see you then.”
“Sure.” Nick tried to remove the look of sulking from his face. This was good for his sister. He knew that. She’d been stuck here in Montana watching after them for years. She deserved to travel. And it wasn’t as if he’d gotten to see her much since he’d been home, anyway.
Still. Knowing that family was near had been nice.
“Say yes.” Ben spoke around his hot dog. “I’m cooking.”
“Daddy’s a good cooker now. The last time it was good.”
Nick eyed his brother-in-law. The last time was good?
“They got me a grill for my birthday,” Ben explained. “I’ve been practicing.”
Laughter from two buildings down caught Nick’s attention, and he flicked a quick glance at Harper. “Sure,” he agreed. “I’ll be there.” He took a casual sip of his drink. “Okay if I bring someone?”
“Who would you bring?” The question burst out of Dani.
“Bring whoever you want,” Ben answered. He shot Dani a look.
Nick’s sister ignored her husband and peered at the area around them, as if expecting someone to show up at their table at that very moment. Nick worked on his food and gave nothing away. He might not ask Harper, anyway.
“Is she pretty?” Haley asked.
His back went straight at the unexpected question.
“Leave your uncle alone,” Ben said, his words coming before Nick could figure out how to politely dodge the question.
“But, Dad . . .”
Ben nudged his chin toward his daughter’s plate. “Finish your food so we’re ready to watch when it’s Nick’s turn to ride.”
The little girl’s face twisted up in irritation, but she shoveled a bite of hot dog into her mouth. “I just wanted to know if she’s pretty,” she muttered softly, but she continued eating without additional complaint. However, when she cut a look in Nick’s direction a few minutes later, and gave him the kind of smile that melted an uncle’s heart, he couldn’t help but smile back. Then she leaned into his arm, her warm body melting against his, and whispered, as if to no one, “I’ll bet she’s very pretty.”
Nick couldn’t help it. He caved. She had said he was her favorite uncle, after all. So why not play the role of favorite uncle? He leaned down and whispered, “If I tell you, will you keep it a secret?”
Haley nodded, her enthusiasm restored.
He glanced around the table as if making sure no one else was listening—ignoring his sister’s curious stare as he did so—then cupped his hand over his mouth and Haley’s ear. “She’s gorgeous,” he confirmed. “And she has blue hair.”
Haley’s eyes went wide.
“But remember, you can’t tell anyone.” He puckered his lips and put a finger to them in the universal sign of silence. “Just between you and me.”
She nodded again and mimicked his motion with her finger, and Nick rose from the table.
“And speaking of riding, I need to head off to do just that.” He pinched Haley on the tip of her nose as he stepped over the bench seating. “I’ll be listening for you to yell the loudest for me.”
“I will, too.” She jumped up on the bench and wrapped her arms around his neck, and Nick wondered for the first time in his life what it would be like to have this kind of love waiting for him at the end of every day.
He confirmed the time for dinner after Haley released him, then headed away from the table. Harper still stood with Jewel, but he didn’t move in their direction. Ben might have given him an out with Dani by shutting down her line of questioning, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t watch him with an eagle eye for the remainder of the night. She’d probably grill her stepdaughter, as well, to find out what he’d said to her. And all Haley would have to do was mention blue hair.
He definitely should have kept that one to himself, no matter how cute and imploring his niece could be. He simply wanted to spend more time hanging out with Harper. Not have his sister wearing him out with questions about what Harper might
or might not mean to him.
A bead of sweat trickled down the front of Harper’s shirt as she tugged at the metal door of the trailer. The danged thing kept getting stuck. She yanked once more and the rod slid out, moving with such ease that she almost landed on her backside in the dirt.
“You mad about something?” Jewel asked. She’d just come around the side of the truck.
“Only at the pigheadedness of this gate,” Harper muttered.
And maybe a little bit at herself. Because she kept watching for Nick.
She’d seen him earlier as he’d been getting ready to ride, and she’d been unable to take her eyes off him. The man wore good looks effortlessly, and it wasn’t fair. It made a rational person like her think irrational thoughts. Toss in the fact that he no longer seemed to have an issue with checking her out—he’d not done it all day from what she could tell—and her mood had soured. She wouldn’t be surprised if he’d already forgotten her.
And why would he do anything else? She’d turned him down when he’d suggested they get together again. She’d made it clear she wasn’t looking for another roll in the hay.
He had no reason to hunt her down.
Yet absence makes the libido grow fonder, and all that.
But hadn’t he said he’d wait until she wasn’t so busy? That, alone, implied he’d seek her out again, didn’t it? She growled under her breath. Not only had he not paid the slightest bit of attention to her tonight, but she’d also checked her phone for missed calls or text messages too many times over the last few days to count. And she’d called herself an idiot every time she’d done it.
She was seriously messed up. She didn’t even want to go out with him again.
Except she did.
She ignored her sister, who now wordlessly watched her, and together they worked to get everything set to load the bulls. With a path secured to the waiting trailer, Jewel released the two animals they’d brought with them, one by one, and guided them into their individual compartments. The last guy was a bit more ornery than the first, but she and Jewel were getting good at this and took it all in stride.
Dusting her hands off after they’d finished, Harper scoped out the area to see if any of the other stock contractors needed help, but paused in her search at the sight of Nick. He stood with his family in the distance, and Harper once again couldn’t pull her gaze from him. What was it about this guy?
Was it just the sex? The torturously amazing kissing? The fact that he’d said he liked hanging out with her? It had been a long time since someone had simply enjoyed the pure pleasure of her company.
“He’ll make a great dad someday.”
Harper’s insides seized up at the sound of her sister’s words. Jewel now stood beside her, and without looking, Harper knew that her sister was taking in the same sight as she.
“I suspect he will,” Harper agreed. Nick currently had his niece on his shoulders, and the child was laughing with uninhibited glee. Additionally, Harper and her sister weren’t the only women watching. Nick directed female attention without trying.
“So . . .” Jewel drew the word out as they continued to watch. “About those noises I heard last weekend.”
Humiliation doused Harper. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Denial was her best friend. Her second closest was avoidance, which Harper had used every time Jewel had called her since Patti’s graduation. Thus, the reason this conversation was only now coming up.
“I’m talking about the noises,” Jewel repeated. “From your motel room.” She apparently would no longer let the fact that she knew what Harper and Nick had done go unnoticed. “A lot of noises,” she added. She began to moan under her breath, and soon the moans turned into panting. Harper kept her gaze straight ahead and pretended that her sister wasn’t being an embarrassing nuisance at her side, and as quickly as the sounds started, they stopped. Jewel leaned in and whispered, “I’m pretty sure I heard the headboard bang against the wall a few times, too.”
Harper hung her head.
“Then there was the pleading.”
She covered her face with her hands.
“And I do believe there was something about a condom . . . on his body, maybe? But what part of his body, is what I wanted to know.”
“Jewel,” Harper hissed. “Please stop.
“Hmmm. Nope. I don’t recall hearing ‘stop’ at all. Was there a ‘more’ in there, though? I’m not sure.”
Harper glared at her sister from between her fingers, and embarrassment heated her words. “Did you honestly lay over there listening to us the whole time?”
“What else was I supposed to do? Bang on the wall and ask you to keep it down?”
“Ah, geez. I can’t believe—”
“You’re not beating yourself up over it, are you?” Jewel’s teasing evaporated. “Because you know you did nothing wrong. He’s gone, sweetie,” her voice softened even more. “And that’s not your fault. You can’t punish yourself forever.”
Harper crossed her arms over her chest and turned her back to her sister.
“Harper,” Jewel said from behind her.
Harper needed this to stop. Now. She didn’t want to talk about the past or what she’d done or not done that day. And she didn’t want to talk about what she’d done with Nick, either. So she peered over her shoulder and gave her sister a tight smile and forced a normal voice. “I’m not beating myself up. I swear. But that makes me feel bad. You have to see that. He was my husband. I should feel guilty about being with another man.”
“Maybe.” Jewel wrapped an arm around Harper’s waist. “But it’s also okay for you to move on.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” She studied Harper. “Because you’ve seemed kind of stuck for a while now.”
“I’m not stuck. I’m . . .” How did she explain it? And did she even want to?
Maybe Jewel was right. Maybe she had been stuck. But it wasn’t because she felt guilty for moving on. It was because of the anger. It festered inside her. They shouldn’t have even been there that day. Thomas shouldn’t have died.
And he shouldn’t have had to save her.
But Harper didn’t know how to explain any of that to her sister. Not without telling her everything.
“I’m not stuck,” she repeated. “I slept with Nick, and I don’t feel bad about it. Doesn’t that prove to you that I’ve moved on?”
“So you’re going to sleep with him again?”
White-hot lust shot through Harper. She didn’t answer Jewel, but both of them turned to watch Nick once again. Instead of playing with his niece, he was now entertaining a couple of the women who’d been eyeing him earlier. Making them laugh. One put a hand to his arm, leaning toward him, and the other stepped in closer, as if to compete. Nick simply grinned wider in return.
A couple of minutes later, he tipped his hat to both women and headed off with his family. Harper watched the other females fan themselves as he retreated, knowing exactly how they felt.
“I don’t think so,” she said, in answer to Jewel’s question.
“Why not?”
Because she suspected that he’d already lost interest. “I just don’t see the need.”
A snort burst from Jewel. “Honey, I’m happily married, but even I can see the need. He’s fine, Harp. Capital F kind of fine. And I’d be willing to bet he knows how to make things sing down there, too.”
Once again, Harper covered her face. For crying out loud, why did her younger sister insist on talking to her about this?
“Tell me it wasn’t amazing,” Jewel urged. “A body like that? It had to rock your world.”
A partial sigh, partial groan escaped Harper, and she finally made eye contact with Jewel. She intended to deny all charges, but when her mouth opened, what came out shocked her. “My world was rocked, okay? Completely off its axis. He’s ripped and hard, and”—she blew out a frustrated breath—“and I could have spent days exploring that.”
>
A hundred-watt grin covered Jewel’s face. “Then do it again. For me, if not for you. Screw his brains out. As many times as he’ll let you. Then do it once more for good measure.”
Harper gaped at her. “I don’t even know who you are anymore.”
“I’m the sister who’s on hormone overload and whose husband won’t be home for weeks.”
“Can we just drop it?” Harper begged. Because though Jewel made a good argument—as many times as he’d let her, and then once more—Harper didn’t plan on partaking anymore.
“Will you at least consider it?”
Hadn’t she been considering it since she’d run him from her room?
“Want me to make the noises again?” Jewel asked.
“No!”
Laughter rang from her sister. “Just have some fun, Harp. We all need it from time to time. And you deserve it. You’ve had a rough year.”
It had been longer than a year.
They turned and headed to the truck, and Harper found herself grumbling under her breath. “If I do do it again, you can bet I won’t tell you about it.”
“I’ll still know.”
She stopped walking. “How?”
Jewel grinned. “It’s all in the smile, babe. Didn’t we all notice it had changed?”
Harper sighed. This conversation was not what she’d expected. Nothing in her life lately was what she’d expected. She pulled up short. She needed a minute alone. “You go ahead and pull the truck out. I’m going back to see if I can snag us something to eat for the ride home.”
Too much thinking and talking about Nick had gotten in her head, and she needed to reorient herself. She wouldn’t be sleeping with him again. End of story. So no reason to fantasize about it. But she was also hungry, and they had a long ride home. Jewel hadn’t been as sick today as she had been last weekend, but the one time her queasiness had made an appearance had been when they’d had a moment for dinner. In fact, Jewel had to be as hungry as Harper. A woman couldn’t exist on saltines alone.