Widower (The Laundromat Chonicles Book 4)

by Merriam,Angie

  “Now,” she pants.

  Unable to control myself any longer, I oblige, sliding my aching cock into her hungry pussy. The slick warmth is like heaven. Her muscles clenching around my cock is erotic. This. This raw and intense fuck is what I’ve missed. What I’ve needed. I slide out and enter her unhurriedly until I feel my balls against her ass then slowly pull out again eliciting a whimper of pleasure from Amanda.

  I fuck her slowly, in and out, each time her whimpers become needier. My own urges become overwhelming. Her pussy begins to tremble around my cock as I push in bit by bit one last time. “You coming, Amanda?”

  “Ahhhh, yes.” She bites my shoulder. I don’t give her time to recover before I slam into her… hard. Fast. Over and over until she’s screaming my name, and I’m unloading inside her. It feels as though my orgasm is never going to stop when my body finally gives in. My legs are weak. The only thing supporting us is the wall.

  “Holy shit.” She breathes while we both try to regain our composure. Slowly her legs unwrap from around my waist, and I lower her to the floor. “Lay with me?” she asks, pulling me toward the bed. Together we fall on top of the comforter, naked and sated.

  “I’m sorry,” I finally say when I’ve caught my breath.

  “For what?”

  “I got carried away and didn’t use a condom. Actually, I don’t even have a condom.” My admission is like a punch in the gut. I’m a grown ass man who knows better than this shit.

  “I’m on the pill. It’s okay.” She assures, grabbing my hand.

  “And I’m clean.”

  “Wasn’t worried about it, but so am I.”

  “Amanda?”

  “Jase?”

  “You realize I’m going to make you come like that as many times as possible before I let you go.”

  “Counting on it.” Her lips kiss mine briefly before she does her own exploration of my body. Her tongue is like electricity against my skin. She makes her way down my chest, toward my waist. Her hand cups my balls, massaging gently. “You like that?”

  “Mmm,” is all I’m able to reply with. My eyes close wanting to experience no other sense but her touch. Her mouth covers my semi-limp dick. It doesn’t take more than a few strokes of her tongue on my shaft before my cock is rock hard again. Her lips wrap around me tightly taking as much of me in her mouth as she can fit while rolling my aching balls around with her hand.

  “Keep that up and I’m gonna come in your mouth,” I warn, knowing I’m not going to be able to hold out much longer. She doesn’t respond with words, instead she sucks harder, moaning as though she’s feasting on a five star meal. Watching her suck my dick and actually like it pushes me closer to the edge. She moves her hand from my balls to the base of my cock, wrapping her dainty hands around me. The pumping paired with her warm mouth sends me over the proverbial edge. “I’m gonna come.” I try to warn again. She picks up the speed as I unload into her mouth. To my surprise, she doesn’t immediately stop or find a place to spit. No, she continues sucking until I’ve been completely emptied.

  “Damn, woman, that was so sexy. But it’s my turn.” I watch her lift her head, wiping her mouth, and though the room is dark, I’m pretty sure I can see a wicked smile. Sitting up I quickly flip her over onto her back. “Did you like that, Amanda?”

  “I did. You taste good.”

  “My turn to taste you.” I begin with her perfect tits. Her round, soft mounds fit perfectly in my hand. Her nipple stands erect the second my tongue flicks against the sensitive area. I take my time teasing her before making my way down to her sweet spot. The closer I get to her hungry pussy the more her hips thrust toward me. The louder her whimpers get. I drag my tongue along her inner thigh working my way toward her pussy. When my mouth latches onto her clit she releases an abysmal moan, grabbing hold of my hair, holding my head in place. Her hips thrust into my mouth begging for release. Slipping two fingers inside, I explore her core until I find her G-spot. Her cries sound desperate as she tightens around my fingers. Not ready for her to come yet I remove my fingers, continuing my own feast on her.

  “Please, Jase.” She begs. Returning her favor I don’t respond. I dine on her pussy as though she’s a delicacy I’ve never tasted but can’t get enough of. She is. My tongue traces every ridge of her, lapping up her juices. “Please, ahhhh.” She begs again. I glance up to see her rolling her nipples in between her fingers, her mouth wide open trying to breathe through the pleasure. The scene is so erotic I feel my dick getting hard again. I slip two fingers inside again, finding the right spot as I simultaneously latch on to her clit and suck sending her body into a trembling frenzy. I allow the orgasm to rip through her but just as the quaking slows I lift up, pushing her legs toward her head.

  “Not done yet,” I say through my own throaty moans then enter her… swiftly. The position allows me to explore deep inside her. The pure, raw emotion elicited from her is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. My own hunger for her body is foreign. As many times as I made love to Brit, there was never this animal-like passion I have with Amanda. I like it. The woman is creating an addict out of me.

  Slamming into her over and over, I revel in the warmth of her pussy. The bliss of being able to let go of myself and get lost in dirty sex is like a drug. Pushing her legs further toward her head, I continue the relentless pounding until she’s crying out in ecstasy again, her walls quaking around my dick, milking my orgasm from me. She takes what she wants from me as greedily as I take from her. Once I’m convinced we’re both sated, I collapse on top of her catching my breath before rolling off her.

  “I’m fucked up you know that?” The words are spoken softly while I pull her close to me, cradling her in my arms. Her bare skin is warm against mine. I never thought I’d make love to any woman other than Brit. Never thought I’d feel whole inside holding another woman. Never expected to need anyone other than Brit. The last year I thought I’d come to terms with the fact that I’ll never love again. Never feel that connection with another human being again. Never need or want anyone. I’m okay with that. I was okay with that until suddenly I’m not. Suddenly I want to live again. I want to feel again. Amanda lit the light inside me that I thought was gone forever. It’s more than a flame though. She set my entire soul on fire. Brought out a side of me I’ve never known. A sexual monster I don’t want to lose.

  “Why do you say that?” she whispers back, snuggling in closer.

  “Because I want you so badly yet I can’t get over this guilt eating at me. In one night, one chance meeting, you brought me back to life. I want to live again yet that darkness I’ve carried around for the last year is still there, pulling me toward it.” The admission is the most honest I’ve ever been.

  “Jase… I’m not… you know I’m not…” She stutters out, clearly looking for the right words.

  “What?”

  “I’m not her. I can never be her. I don’t even know what this is with us. I just met you for crying out loud and I’m married… so you’re not any more fucked up than I am.”

  “I don’t want you to be her. I just want you. The two of you are so different. I don’t want to replace her. I want to move on. I just don’t know how to let go of the dark. That’s all. Turn over…” Without a reply she turns to face me, her legs still entwined with mine. “I don’t know what this is either. Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe we’re just two lonely people looking for something we didn’t know we were missing.”

  “I’ve known for a long time what I’ve been missing. I just didn’t expect to find him in a laundromat or to go home with him the first night like some horny college kid.” Her fingers gently brush along my back as she speaks.

  “Can I ask you a personal question?” I know I shouldn’t ask, especially after what we just experienced together but I have to.

  “I’m laying next to you, naked… you’ve made love to me in ways I didn’t know existed. I don’t think we could get more personal.”

  “When was the last time
you slept with him? Your husband?” I don’t know why it matters, maybe it doesn’t, but I need to know.

  “I can’t remember. It’s been months. Three months at least.” She shrugs as though not making love to her husband is a normal thing.

  “Months? I can’t imagine being in the same room with you and not wanting to screw you like a horny college kid.” I give her a wink, squeezing her shoulder.

  “I’m nothing but arm candy for him. He takes me to events, dresses me up really nice. I schmooze and flirt like he wants me to then he takes me home, and I go to bed while he does whatever he does. Spends the night with his mistress, I’m sure. Every once in a while he’ll want to sleep with me, but it’s a rare occasion and in the last year I’ve become resistant so he doesn’t even try.”

  “Why are you even together?”

  “I’m important for his financial future, and he’s all I’ve known since we met when I was sixteen. His father and mine were business partners. That’s how we met. Sort of an arranged thing only I was completely enamored with him back then. He’s good at pretending.”

  “Sounds like a dick to me.”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Well, I’m the dick now because I want to see you again. I want to make love to you again.”

  “How does that make you a dick?”

  “Because I know you’re married and what we’re doing is wrong. What I want us to continue doing is wrong but I don’t give a shit.”

  “You know what?”

  “What?”

  “I don’t give a shit either. He and I are nothing but an arrangement. There is no chemistry, passion or love. Hell, I’m pretty sure we don’t even like each other. I like you though. I like how you make me feel. I don’t want this to be a one night stand. Let’s just take things slow and see where we end up.”

  “Get over here.” I pull her closer, covering her mouth with my own. Our tongues dance a slow dance while her body melts into mine. “The only place I want to end up tonight is on top of you, again and again,” I whisper between kisses, mounting her. “Close to you.” Gently my legs push hers apart, my mouth latching onto her nipple. “Tasting you.” Her moans encourage me. “Inside you.” My fingers slip inside, her hungry pussy clenching tightly. “Maybe you on top of me?” My fingers caress her soft core.

  “Jase,” she pants. My name being spoken breathlessly stiffens my cock to a nearly painful level. How can one woman, this one woman that I’ve known for a matter of hours bring this hunger out of me?

  “Please… Jase… inside…” She begs. I oblige, entering her slowly before covering her mouth with mine. Our tongues mingle as our bodies become one. We move slowly together, savoring every inch of one other and our time together. We both reach our climax together, holding on to each other as though our lives depended on it. In some ways they do. Something brought her to me. Me to her. Both of us unhappy with life. Craving something more. Something to make us feel alive. When she snuggles into me, gratified and content, I hope this is real. That this isn’t just a cruel joke. That somehow, someway, she and I were meant to find each other.

  ***

  We only slept for a few hours before I had to take her back to her car so she could get home and shower before her husband woke. Our kiss goodbye is bittersweet. I don’t want to say goodbye to her. I don’t want to go home to my empty house.

  “When can I see you again?” I ask, hoping like hell that she meant what she said about this not being a one time thing.

  “Saturday, the laundromat.” She gives me a quick peck on the cheek before leaving me standing at my truck.

  “Thought your new machine is being delivered tomorrow?” I call after her.

  She turns to face me. “I think I changed my mind about the color. Need to send it back.” She shrugs. “Bye, Jase.”

  “Bye, Amanda.” I stand watching as she pulls out of the bar parking lot. The sun is just coming up, and I know I should go home and get some sleep but I’m too keyed up. Hopping in my truck, I hit the drive-thru for coffee and a muffin then make my way to the one place I haven’t been to in a year… since I laid them to rest.

  Pulling into the cemetery, I feel the same tug at my heart that I’ve felt every day since I buried them. The overwhelming sorrow that I thought I was content carrying around with me forever. Mixed with the heartache is a sense of survival. Persistent urgency to be awakened. With a lump in my throat, I pull up to a spot closest to their site then walk the remainder of the way. I find their memorials easily as though I’ve been there hundreds of times. Side by side lies my wife and my son, both angels in heaven. At least that’s what I hope. That thought, hope, is what has kept me going all this time.

  I sit between the two graves, running my hand along the smooth stones that mark their resting place.

  “Hi, honey. I’m sorry I haven’t been back to see you. It’s just too hard knowing you’re a few feet below me but I can never see you or hold you again. How’s Daniel? I’m sure you’re both having a great time wherever you are. I gotta tell ya, Brit, it’s been a damn hard year without you. I miss you and Daniel so much. The house is still pretty much the same. I try to keep it as clean as possible but I’m not as good at it as you were.” I pause, laughing softly at memories of her dancing around the house while cleaning every Friday afternoon. I continue telling her about my year. What I’ve done. How I’ve tried to live like she told me to on that night she visited me. The night I almost took my own life. Pausing again, I prepare myself for what I really came here to do.

  “I came here to tell you more than just shit about my job and daily life. I’ve tried to live again, Brit. I’ve tried so damn hard but I just miss you both so much. I finally came to terms with my loneliness and assumed I’d be alone forever. Thing is, I met someone. I don’t know how it happened or why it happened. The washer broke so I went to the laundromat and there she was. A prissy rich girl struggling to get the washer to work. We started talking and one thing led to another. I like her, Brit. In one night, she brought me back to life. She filled a void that you left behind. The guilt ate at me. I tried denying my attraction to her but I couldn’t. Can’t. I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again, or if she was just put in my path to show me what it’s like to feel alive again, but I know now that I have to let go. I have to say goodbye to you and Daniel.” I stop talking, wiping the tears I didn’t realize were falling. Catching my breath.

  “You’re the love of my life, Brit, and I would give anything to have you back. To have Danny back. But that’s not possible. You’re not here. I’m here and I don’t want to be alone anymore. I don’t want to replace you. I don’t want another Britanny, you’re a one of a kind woman and if I try to replace you I’ll always be disappointed. I have to move on to something different. Someone different. If I’m going to live like you asked me to I have to. I love you though, baby. I love Daniel. I will always carry you both in my heart. You’ll always be my girl. My first love. He’ll always be my boy. My little man. But I know you’re both happy and as hard as it’s been to admit, I want to be happy again. So, goodbye, baby. Goodbye, little man. I love you both. I’ll see you both again someday. Until then, please understand and forgive me for moving on.” Unable to say more, I lean forward gently kissing both of their headstones before leaving my wife and my son. I walk away knowing I’m leaving behind my life with them in search of something different. A new life.

  ***

  The next Saturday I head to the laundromat and Amanda is there as promised. “Hey there,” I say as though we’re old friends.

  Folding her clothes she glances up at me. “Hey, stranger.”

  “Looks like you’ve been here a while.” I glance in her basket noting that her laundry is done.

  “I have, been chatting with Miss Ruby.” She’s in a good mood. I enjoy the happiness I can see in her eyes yet all I wanna do is get her alone.

  “Gonna be here much longer?” I ask, trying to hide my disappointment.

  “Nah, goin
g out tonight,” she says flippantly as though it’s not a big deal. Her words elicit a jealous feeling that I don’t have any right to feel. But it’s there nonetheless.

  “Alright then. Nice seeing you, Amanda.” I turn away from her, anger boiling under the surface. I’m an idiot to believe we were more than one night.

  “Hey,” she calls to me.

  “What?” I snap without thought. I shouldn’t be pissed. I have no right to be. It was one night. An amazing night but that’s all it was. I knew when I took her back to that hotel that our time together was nothing more than two lonely people helping each other feel something, anything.

  “Walk me to my car? I have a ton of crap to carry.” I glance back at her in time to witness her wink slyly at me. I’m such a dick. Of course she’s being coy. We can’t make our affair known.

  Shaking my head, trying to get my irrational anger in check I reply, “Uhhh, sure. Let me get my load started.”

  “Okay.” Placing her soap on top of one of her baskets she goes over to talk to the old lady who was there last weekend. She must be Miss Ruby. The last quarter drops in when I hear her voice behind me. “Ready?”

  “Yep.” Grabbing her large basket, I follow her out. Once we reach her car, I finally break our silence.

  “What was that in there?” I ask, my irritation clearly not under control.

  “What?” she asks innocently.

  “You acted like you barely know me.” I know I’m being unreasonable. I know her reasons. What I don’t know is why I need to hear her say the words. Why I need that validation. I’m not only a dick but a fucking pussy too. Jesus.

  “Jase, I’m just trying to be discreet. I’m still married remember?”

  “Of course I do. I just…” I try to explain myself but there’s no explanation. I’m not a teenage boy. I shouldn’t be acting like one.

  “Stop, meet me at the bar when you’re done here.”

  “Seriously?” Just like that my insecurities fade away, replaced by relief and nervous excitement. Damn, I sound like a woman but I don’t care. All I want is to feel that woman in my arms again. Just the thought of her soft skin against mine gets me fired up.