Jana didn’t say anything for a long moment, her hands twisting together. Her expression darkened, her eyebrows slashing downward. Was this something to do with her mother? Had the woman disliked animals?
“Jana, are you all right?”
“I kept thinking Mom would return home. She’s allergic to dogs, and I didn’t want to have to get rid of a pet. I guess she isn’t gonna.” Her pout increased. “She doesn’t even call. She’s written a couple of times, but I want to talk to her. I even tried calling her once. No one answered. The second time I called the same number it was disconnected.” Jana drew in a shaky breath.
Alexa waited a few minutes to see if Jana would elaborate. When she didn’t, Alexa said, “I know when I’ve had a particularly bad day, I love hugging and petting Charlie. He’s the best pick-me-upper.”
Jana shook her head, as though ridding her thoughts of something unpleasant, and focused on Alexa. “What kind is he?”
“Oh, a mix of four or five kinds probably. He’s large, black and brown with a little white around the face. He has a long tail that wags constantly unless he’s running and hiding.”
Jana laughed.
The lilting sound was beautiful, the first time Alexa had heard it. The child lounged back, her long legs stretched out.
“I hope you’ll bring Charlie over one day. I’d love to meet him.”
“I’m not sure your dad would like to have Charlie in the house. He can get overenthusiastic and bump into things. I’ve lost a few items because he’s crashed into them. But anytime you want to visit him at my house, I’d love to have you.”
Jana’s relaxed expression dissolved. “Maybe,” she murmured, although she didn’t sound very convincing. Straightening, she glanced at her watch. “It’s eleven-thirty. Lunch will be ready.” She hopped to her feet and hurried toward the covered patio.
A ten-year-old wearing a watch? Alexa shook her head. A child shouldn’t be that concerned about time yet. That was one piece of jewelry she didn’t own—wouldn’t.
Alexa covered the distance to the patio and entered the kitchen to find Jana standing in the middle of it, her face pale, her whole body shaking. “What’s wrong?”
“Dad’s not here! He should be here.” Tears streamed down her cheeks.
“Have you checked his office?” Alexa hurried toward the girl and wrapped her arms around her, half expecting Jana to pull away.
But she didn’t. She buried herself against Alexa. “Yes. He always has lunch ready by this time. Something’s happened.”
She stroked her hand down the child’s back. “I’m sure he’s fine. He probably had to run an errand. I can fix us something to eat.”
“No, he tells me when he’s leaving.” A sob escaped Jana’s mouth, then another.
Alexa hugged the girl, wishing she could erase the anxiety that gripped Jana. The sound of her crying riveted her full attention until Alexa heard the garage door going up. She eased back and looked into the child’s tear-streaked face. “Your dad is home.”
Swiping her cheeks, Jana flew from Alexa’s arms and raced toward the door to the garage, flinging it open. As Alexa came to the entrance, the girl hurled herself into her father’s embrace.
“Where were you? You scared me. I thought something had happened to you.” Jana’s breathless words tumbled from her mouth.
“Honey, I’m so sorry. I thought I would go grab us all some burgers. I wasn’t going to be gone long but got caught in a construction zone. I tried calling. No one answered. I figured you were still outside.” Ian peered at Alexa, pain in his eyes. “I didn’t mean to scare you. You and Alexa were busy talking and…” The rest of his explanation faded into the silence—a silence only broken by Jana’s renewed sobbing.
Alexa approached the pair. “Let me take the burgers and get the table set.” She felt as though she’d stepped into the middle of a family moment she had no business witnessing.
“Thanks.” Ian held out the paper bag, the scent of fries peppering the air.
Over the top of his daughter’s head, his gaze linked with hers. With his brow creased, his vulnerability reached out to Alexa, making her want to smooth his worries away. She hurriedly snatched the bag and rushed inside.
She’d been there herself five years before when her high school sweetheart was killed in a freak accident on a baseball field. Her whole life had been rocked to its foundation, changed in one instant. They’d planned to marry the following year after graduation even though her father would have objected and tried to stop the wedding. It wouldn’t have made any difference. She’d loved Daniel and what they’d shared hadn’t been puppy love as her father had told her several times. Although Daniel hadn’t walked out on her, he’d left her to face her father alone and to pick up the pieces of her life.
Her hands trembling, Alexa set the food down on a placemat, clasping the edge of the table for a few seconds before she went to the refrigerator and withdrew a pitcher of ice water and a carton of milk. After retrieving some glasses from the cabinet, she sat to wait for Ian and Jana and try to make some sense out of why she was led to them. The sound of the door to the garage opening drew her attention. Her young charge, her eyes red but the fear gone from her expression, hurried into the kitchen, making a beeline for the chair she’d used that morning and plopping into it.
“I love the food from Incredible Burger.” Jana squirted ketchup on her plate and scooped some up with a fry, then popped it into her mouth.
“I know. That’s why I thought I’d go get some hamburgers instead of fixing sandwiches,” a sober Ian said, striding toward them.
“I have to agree with Jana. Incredible Burger has the best food.” Alexa took a bite of her thick, juicy hamburger. “Jana told me you used to do woodworking. I was admiring that bench you made. It’s beautiful.”
Ian’s gaze strayed toward the window that overlooked the backyard. “That was one of my best pieces.”
“Do you have any others around here?”
“No, I’ve given them away. Most of them were smaller. I hadn’t been doing carpentry that long, and now I don’t have the time.”
He might not realize the wistfulness that sounded in his voice when he said that last sentence, but Alexa heard it. Everyone needed a creative outlet. She suspected that Ian’s had been his woodwork pieces.
“Dad, I’ve got one of your boxes.”
“I forgot about that. It was one of my first attempts.”
“I love it. I keep my treasures in it.”
Alexa took a sip of her ice water. “May I see it?”
“Yeah, I’ll get it.” Jana started to get up.
“Pumpkin, you can wait until after lunch.”
The child dropped back onto her chair. “Alexa told me she has a dog named Charlie. She got him at the pound. Can we get a dog from the pound?”
“What about the geese and ducks that like to wander into our yard?”
“We can get a small dog that stays in the house. When it needs to go out, I’ll walk it on a leash.”
Ian’s gaze swept to Alexa for a long moment, his doubt that a pet would be a good fit for Jana and him in his expression. When he peered at his daughter, he said, “A dog will cause prob—” His words sputtered to a stop. “If you want a dog from the pound, you’ll have to go and pick it out. A pet’s a very personal decision, not one I’ll do for you.”
“I can get an animal.” Excitement filled Jana’s voice, and a smile encompassed her whole face for half a minute until she paused, her forehead wrinkled. Her mouth scrunched up into a frown. “We’d go together?”
“Of course.”
“I’ll think about it.” Jana dived into the rest of her lunch, silent, staring at the placemat as though mulling over her dilemma.
At the end of the meal Ian stood and gathered up the trash. “Jana, I have an appointment this afternoon at two. I’ll be back by three-thirty. Okay?”
His daughter locked gazes with him and nodded, then picked up the three empty
glasses and took them to the sink. “I’m gonna get the box.”
When they were alone, Ian paused near Alexa, throwing a glance toward the doorway Jana left through. “I imagine you have questions. Is it possible for you to stay this evening for dinner and then you and I can talk afterward?”
“What are you going to have?”
“For dinner?”
“Yes.”
“What if I said I don’t know?” A twinkle gleamed in his eyes, his dimple winking at her.
“I wouldn’t believe you. You’re the type who has his meals all planned for the week, possibly even the whole month.”
“I was spontaneous today with lunch and look what happened.”
“And everything is okay now.”
“Spaghetti. And I only plan one week at a time.”
“I thought you didn’t cook much.”
“From a jar,” he said sheepishly.
“I’ll stay on one condition. I cook dinner with Jana’s help.”
“She doesn’t cook, either.”
“She needs to learn. Everyone needs to fend for themselves.”
He splayed his hand over his heart. “Ouch.”
“Don’t get me wrong. I’ve cut corners in cooking a meal, too. We all do. But I can use this to teach Jana. Although I know my spaghetti recipe by heart, I’ll write it down and show her how to follow it. Not to mention she’ll have to do different measurements. I can make enough so you two have leftovers. That means doubling the amounts. You said math isn’t her strong area. This’ll be a fun way to do some.”
“I don’t have the ingredients.”
“I wish she would go with me to the grocery, but I know we aren’t there yet. How about you get what I need on the way home from your appointment? Or I can go after you get back.”
“I’ll let you get the supplies. Madge does most of my grocery shopping. That’s why I plan my meals for the week.” A defensive tone entered his voice.
“There’s nothing wrong with planning what you’re gonna eat. Even I do that.”
“You do? I got the impression you didn’t plan a thing.”
“It’s hard not to do some. I just try not to get tied down by it.” She glanced toward Jana reentering the kitchen. “You and I are fixing dinner tonight.”
The child’s eyes grew round. “Why?”
“Because your dad invited me to eat with you two, and I don’t do spaghetti out of a jar.”
Jana looked from Alexa to her father then burst out laughing. “Finally, someone who feels like I do.”
* * *
“Where did you learn to cook so well?” Ian asked as he stepped out onto the porch with Alexa that evening. “That was the best spaghetti I’ve ever had.”
“Your daughter had a hand in making it, too.”
“When I came through the kitchen, it seemed like you were doing an awful lot of instructing and demonstrating, and my daughter was doing an awful lot of listening.”
As she walked toward her car in the driveway, she slowed and shifted toward Ian, the glow from the porch light illuminating his face, none of the tension earlier at lunch visible. “And she was learning. She had no problem doubling the recipe for me. We talked about equivalents and measurements. She may be weak in math, but she did great.”
He started forward. “I sometimes worry she avoids math because that’s my strong subject. She’s bright in so many other things like reading and writing.”
“Math can be so logical and analytical. English appeals to a person’s creativity. Math is full of rules, and yes, there are rules in grammar, but they’re more fluid than when you deal with numbers. Two plus two is always four.”
At her car he lounged back against it, folding his arms over his chest. “Thanks for staying and cooking dinner. A guy could get used to that. I liked your suggestion of Jana reading White Fang. When she heard it was about a wolf, did you see her eyes light up?”
“I hope she’ll get a dog.”
“Another thing I owe to you. I haven’t talked to my daughter about getting a pet since before my wife left. But I think it would be good for Jana, especially now she needs something to focus her attention on. I know pets can be good company.” He heaved a deep breath. “Which brings me to one of the reasons I wanted to talk with you in private without a young girl listening in. I’ve decided I’ll let you do things your way, and I’ll see how it works out.”
Her mouth dropped open, and she sank against the side of her car next to Ian, her arm for just a second brushing against him. She immediately put a few inches between them and tried to dismiss the jolt from the brief contact.
“No written lesson plans every evening?” She’d never thought it would be that easy to get him to change his mind. Was he more flexible than she’d originally thought?
“Not exactly, but I do want to know what you’re doing. Maybe we can touch base in the morning and then before you leave. And I’ll still be doing the twice-a-week math lesson with the other students. I’m hoping between those lessons you can help Jana get a better handle on what I’ve presented.”
His musk-scented aftershave lotion teased her senses, causing a parade of images of him throughout the day to flow through her mind. Ian smiling at her from across the table. Ian laughing at one of her stories about working with children at an elementary school. Ian caring about his daughter and not afraid to show her. She needed to stop her train of thought concerning this man who had been wounded by his wife. She would only be here temporarily. They were from two very different worlds, years apart in age. “When do you have the others here for math?” she asked when she realized the silence had lasted over a minute and Ian was staring at her.
“Every Wednesday and Friday afternoon from three to four.”
“And is the other reason you wanted to talk with me about what happened right before lunch?”
Ian stiffened and pushed off the car, rotating toward her. “Yes. When Jana feels insecure, she freaks out. If she thinks I’m supposed to be someplace and I’m not, she doesn’t handle that very well. She’s much better than she was. Her therapist is doing a great job with her.”
“I know it’s none of my business, but what happened with her mother? Maybe if I understand, I can help in some way.” She wouldn’t be surprised if he told her to butt out, but she had to ask. She would be with the child most days for the next four months.
Ian kneaded his nape, peering off into space. The sound of a dog barking broke the silence that had descended between them. He stabbed her with a piercing look. “This isn’t something I usually talk about, but you have a point.” His hand rubbed even harder at the muscles in his neck.
His tension flowed from him and enclosed about her. The urge to soothe his hurt inundated her.
“The only good part of the story is that my ex-wife, Tracy, left us on a day Madge worked, so when Jana came home from school, someone was here to let her in. Tracy left a message on my cell phone that she was leaving us. I had my office downtown then. I didn’t get the message until late, right before Madge was to go home. Jana was worried, pacing the living room. She didn’t understand where her mom was. They were supposed to go shopping after school for a project Jana had. Worried, Madge called my secretary. That’s when I went and checked my cell, then left work and came right home. That’s the first clue I had that my wife was having an affair. She ran off with a man she met online and had been secretly seeing the past few months.”
“So, Jana’s afraid you’ll abandon her like her mother did?”
“That’s obvious and something we’re working through. We’re to the point where I don’t have to be in the therapist’s office with Jana for her sessions, and I can leave to run errands as long as she knows exactly where and when I’m going. She’ll stay with Madge or Kelly and now you. I made the mistake of not coming out to tell Jana I’d decided to go get burgers. I should have been gone only fifteen minutes. Instead, it was more like thirty.”
“She finished school last year.
How?”
“Not easily. She wasn’t doing great before her mother left. But afterward, her grades plummeted. Then summer came, and she got even clingier. Finally, I quit my job and opened my own office here at home. I’ve cut back on my workload in order to be here for Jana.”
“How long has she been in therapy?”
“Since the end of June, when I saw how difficult everything was becoming for Jana. I think she tried to hold it together and did for a while. In my confusion and the mess, I was dealing with, I didn’t see how bad her struggle was. But finally, she couldn’t keep up her front, and she went rapidly downhill. I’m having a hard time forgiving myself for that.”
Although she couldn’t see his expression well in the dim lighting, frustration, pain and a touch of bewilderment marked his voice. All she wanted to do was comfort. She reached out and laid her hand on his arm. He peered down at her fingers on him then up into her face. The bond between them, as though they both understood what it was like to be abandoned by a loved one, strengthened.
“Knowing how much you care for Jana, I’m sure you were doing the best you could.”
He pulled his arm away, breaking the bond. “No, I wasn’t. I was licking my wounds. But I’ve learned one valuable lesson from what happened with Tracy. I won’t let something like that happen to me or to my daughter again. I will protect my daughter at all costs. Good night, Alexa.” He turned away and began striding toward the porch. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Not only would he protect Jana at all costs, but she was sure he wanted to protect himself, too. Although she didn’t see his shoulders slump, she sensed he’d felt weighted down. He was struggling with his emotions concerning his ex-wife’s abandonment of Jana, but also of himself. Anger bound him up in impotency as if he were running as fast as he could and not going anywhere.
His expression reminded her of how she’d felt when her father had told her if she walked out of his house never to come back. After that their relationship had never been the same. She wouldn’t follow in her father’s footsteps, and he wouldn’t accept that from her. The memory threatened her composure, prodding her anger forward.
A Gift of Love (New Beginnings Book 5) Page 4