by Snow, Olivia
“How you two never managed to meet each other before this is beyond me,” Pete said.
“What do you mean?”
Pete scoffed before he continued. “When Christian says he can handle Connor, he isn’t just blowing smoke up your ass, Bil, he’s telling the truth. And in all honesty, if Connor knew who Christian was, he wouldn’t be threatening his mom either…or his girl.” Both Jade and I exchanged a glance.
“What are you talking about?” we asked, almost at the same time.
“Christian also went by another name,” he said. “Travieso.”
I gaped. My boss, now my boyfriend, was the notorious Travieso, Aurora’s biggest drug lord’s golden boy. I sure knew how to pick ’em.
***
Pete took Jade and I to work. I still hadn’t heard a word from Christian. No text, no call, no email—nothing. And I wasn’t going to be the first to text. Even though Pete had explained to me why Christian had gotten so upset, how was I supposed to know any of that? Pete said it didn’t matter. I had questioned Christian’s manhood and his ability to protect what was his—whatever that meant.
When Pete pulled up to the back parking lot of the bar, Christian’s SUV was there and I let out a breath of relief I didn’t know I was holding in. Inside the bar, I spotted him right away as he joked around with Jaime. He looked up and his smile instantly vanished at the sight of me. My chest began to hurt. I couldn’t help the look on my face and I know he saw it because his face fell.
I tried to move into the employee locker room, but he stepped in front of me. My stare was trained on his red Vans. I smiled, remembering the day he pointed out we always seemed to wear the same shoes. God, it felt like an eternity ago. So much had happened since then.
“Will you come outside with me?” he asked, lifting up my chin. Clearing my throat, I answered.
“Yeah.”
Christian took my hand, pulling me back into the parking lot. Once the heavy red door closed behind us, he took me in his arms. My legs dangled off the ground, and I wrapped them around his waist and squeezed him tighter. Christian chuckled into the crook of my neck.
“Damn spider monkey,” he said.
I giggled while tears ran down my cheeks. It was then I realized I had fallen in love with him. And that scared me more than being afraid of Connor. Now, there was leverage. Now, I had something to lose if anything ever happened to us.
“Hey,” he said, pulling back. “Why’d you get all stiff all of a sudden?”
Shaking my head, I pushed off of him, planting my feet on the ground.
“It’s nothing. No, I lie…why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“Who you are.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
Christian did the same, and sometimes I thought it was cute and sometimes, like right now, it angered me because he was going to stand his ground and I would stand mine and neither of us would bend. I was stubborn but he was worse, and I wasn’t sure how this was going to work between us if neither of us was willing to bow for the other.
“So, I should disclose my past when you don’t even bother to tell me yours?”
“I’ve told you…” I stopped because I really hadn’t told him much of anything. “Stuff.”
Christian looked down then back up again, like he’d remembered something.
“Billie, I don’t think…this is going to work out. I left all that shit behind for a reason. I don’t want it. And it feels like you’re not ready to let it go yet. I’ll handle Connor when he gets back, and you can still work here. But between you and me, we should keep things professional from now on.”
I could feel the tears behind my eyes, threatening to spill over. Oh, please don’t cry, please don’t cry, I kept telling myself, but in the end the reaction was too much for me to hold. And that angered me even more. Why was I trying to hold in my emotions for his sake?
“Baby, please don’t cry. I’m sorry, but this has gotten too out of—” He reached out to touch my face, but I smacked it away. I could tell he was fighting a smirk. Asshole.
“Don’t touch me.” I seethed.
I wanted to tell him he was a bigger douchebag than the others because he made me fall in love with him and now he was dumping me. He was taking the cowardly way out, and instead of fighting this thing with Connor together, he was going the opposite way. But I didn’t say anything. I quickly composed myself and wiped away the tears that had fallen and held up my chin.
“I’ll deal with Connor on my own. I don’t need your help,” I told him.
“Billie, don’t be stupid.”
Regardless of who he was, he still didn’t know anything about my family. If he tried to deal with Connor on his own, he was the stupid one.
“By the way,” I added before going back inside, “Thanks for being yet another man who’s disappointed me.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Christian
I was going to tell her who I was, what they used to call me—Travieso, the little troublemaker. The name was given to me by Marquis after I showed up at his crack house three years ago and got my ass handed to me by four of his guys. I told him I wasn’t going down without a fight, and I didn’t. After the ordeal, he gave me a beer and a blunt and we talked for hours.
Marquis was ten years older than me. He was rough and tough and didn’t sugarcoat anything. I was feeling vulnerable and raw after everything that happened that night, so I told him what I wanted out of life. Marquis said it wasn’t much, and if I wanted out of this lifestyle then I should get out, and he would help me. He offered me a deal I couldn’t refuse.
I worked for him for two years and used that money to buy a bar with the help of his crooked contacts, who accepted dirty money for a building. During those two years, I had become someone I hated, someone I never wanted to turn into ever again. I hurt a lot of people, broke a lot of bones, and never really knew who survived my beatings after I left their limp bodies on the ground. Shit like that kept me up at night.
Billie thought Connor was someone to be afraid of, but she had no idea what I was capable of. After I stormed out of my apartment, I stomped down the stairs and called Angel to meet me across the street at the corner pharmacy. While I was there I picked up some beef jerky and Red Bull. After I paid, I stood right inside of the store looking through the glass doors to make sure Billie was still inside my apartment building. When Angel showed up, I quickly got into his car and told him to wait until Billie left my apartment, because I knew she wasn’t going to stay. She was going to go to Jade’s place; I knew it.
I tore open the beef jerky, grabbed a handful, and then handed it to Angel. We sat in silence munching on dried meat as we watched Billie with her big overnight bag, climbing into the bus just in time. Angel knew what to do next. He chuckled when he turned the car back on and pulled out of the parking space. The comparison between Connor stalking her and me stalking her wasn’t something I ignored. But I wasn’t doing it to be creepy; I was making sure she was safe, and not being followed by someone who would hurt her, like Connor.
Angel followed far enough behind her that she wouldn’t notice. Just when she entered Jade’s house, I called Pete and asked when he was going to be home, because I didn’t see his truck outside. He told me he was on his way, and coincidentally enough had met someone who knew me. How he started a conversation about me, I didn’t know and I didn’t ask. All I knew was that Pete knew about my past and Billie would soon know as well. While we waited from afar for Pete to arrive, I got a phone call from my mother. I made an asshole move and ignored the call. But then she called again.
“Answer the phone, foo,” Angel said when he peeked over at my phone. I rubbed my face, letting out a sigh of frustration before answering.
“Hey, Ma.”
“Come home, Christian.” A deep voice answered instead of my mother’s.
“Who the fuck is this?” I sat up, agitated and nervous. Angel followed my movements.
“Come to Mom’s place, now.”
I didn’t know why I hadn’t recognized his voice before, but it was Roman on the other end. He hung up before I could ask any questions.
“Who was that?” Angel asked. I stared back at him, confused, while I lowered the phone.
“Roman.” I looked at Jade’s house and felt torn between leaving Billie before Pete arrived and heading to my mom’s house immediately.
“Then I’ll drive to your mom’s, right?” My mouth opened but nothing came out. I couldn’t tell him to leave yet, not without knowing Billie would be safe. “Come on, Chris, I know she means something to you but—”
“I love her,” I said without thinking.
“Fuck, Christian, really? You had to fall in love with Billie fucking McAllister. Because you don’t have enough fucking enemies, you have to add to the list?”
I was still frozen with this new feeling that I had chosen Billie over my mother, and that was something that wasn’t sitting well in my stomach. I never thought there would be a day that a woman would stand in the way of my mother. Just then, Pete pulled up to the driveway, and not a second later I told Angel to go to my mom’s house. The entire ride over, he kept murmuring to himself something that sounded like, “Fucking Christian.”
It wasn’t until I opened the door to my mother’s apartment that I agreed. Fuck me.
***
There I stood inside my mother’s apartment with my brother Roman and two men in dark suits that looked like cops. One had a shaved head and the other a full head of dark tresses. Yeah, fuck me.
“What the fuck, Rome?”
He smiled and rose from the couch to give me a hug. I was too shocked to hug him back.
“Fuck, Chris, you’re huge, man,” he said while patting my back and upper arms. One of the suits moved forward as Roman stepped back, then the cop’s hands shot up in the air as he looked past my shoulder.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” the suit exclaimed. “I was just going to introduce myself. No need for violence, Mr. Dickson.”
Turning my head, I saw Angel with a gun in his hands, pointing at the cop. I shook my head, snapping out of my stupor.
“Angel, put that down,” I ordered. He stared down the men in front of us before slowly lowering the weapon and tucking it back behind him. “Someone better explain what the fuck is going on.” The man with his hands in the air stepped back before turning to his companion.
“Let’s sit down so we can go over what’s happening,” the dark haired cop said.
Reluctantly, I slumped on the couch closest to the door while Angel stood behind me.
“I’m not sitting down,” he asserted.
The man who was doing all the talking, who looked greener than an unripe tomato, smiled at Angel, while the other remained expressionless.
“Where’s Mom?” I asked when everyone was settled.
“She’s working.” Roman rubbed his hands together, his smile gone. He was looking at me with a certain expression, maybe remorse. There was a minute of silence while we all adjusted to each other. The air was thick with tension and I knew something big was going on for Rome to have been let out early, with two cops here. One of the men cleared his throat before he spoke, adjusting his elbows on top of his knees.
“We have an understanding Sybil McAllister is currently working for you.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Christian
“Back to your place?” Angel asked while we opened the doors to his car.
I spread my arms over the roof. The sun was still out but it was beginning to cool down, and I needed the lower temperature to settle my hot blood. I rested my forehead against the car, nodding against it without even knowing if he could see my answer or not.
Angel climbed into the car and waited for me to get in before turning it on. I looked back at my mom’s apartment window, feeling like someone was watching. Sure as shit, my mom and Roman stood behind the window waving at me. I gritted my teeth and waved back.
“Can I punch the shit out of your car?” I asked, slamming the door closed.
“Try it, motherfucker, and I’ll kick your ass,” Angel warned.
“I’m not going to play her like that, man. I’m not, I can’t.” I leaned forward, suddenly feeling like there wasn’t enough air in the car.
“Breathe, Chris. Chill, man.”
We drove in silence. When we arrived at my place, I thanked him before heading inside. As soon as I reached my front door, I threw it open and slammed it closed, rattling the adjacent wall. My apartment smelled like her—all sweet like a ripe strawberry. It fucked with my head some more. My mind, body, and heart were divided. Each in their own team, each with their own reasons for me to leave or stay with her. My chest heaved while I paced back and forth across the small living room.
I had agreed to betray her. I was worse than the other men she’d dated. The detectives forced me into a corner. I had to help them take down the McAllister family, and Roman would go free with a clean record. I was going to tell them to choke on a dick when my mom came in, and my gut feeling told me they’d planned it all. She was so happy to see Rome, and she sobbed and held him like a baby.
She was so happy to see him she didn’t even question when we told her the detectives were Roman’s parole officers. Not only did they know Billie was working for me, but they knew we were dating. They had pictures of us together and pictures of the fight with Donnie, Connor, Angel and I. They even had a photo of Don holding a gun to my head. In the deepest part of me, the dark dingy untouched places of my soul, I knew I had made a big mistake.
“Fuck!” I roared as I threw the table lamp closest to me across the wall, shattering it. “Fuck!” I threw my hands in the air before collapsing on my knees. “Fuck.” I stayed on my knees until the denim of my jeans made my skin raw. I wasn’t sure how long that was, but in that time I had come to my senses and realized I couldn’t do that to her. I had to figure out another way, because I sure as hell wasn’t going to use her to put away her family. I was going to do that all on my own.
***
It was easier than I thought it would be to break up with her. The only thing that made me feel like shit was when she started crying, but I had to remember I was doing this for her own good. I didn’t want her to think when this was all said and done that I was playing her. She stormed back inside and for the rest of the night didn’t acknowledge me.
My façade was on full force, but as the night went on, the mask began to slip and I was second-guessing my motives. Tonight, Claudia had called off and Ava was due for the late shift. I was prepping food in the back before we got a big wave of customers. Then I heard the brakes of a car screeching in the parking lot. I pushed open the back door, slamming it against the brick wall as Ava opened the door to her new black SUV and bent over.
“Ava?” I ran over and came to a complete stop when I realized she was throwing up. “Gross.”
“Fuck you,” she mumbled, wiping her mouth with a tissue.
“You look like shit.” I reached out to help her out the car, and around the vomit.
“Again, fuck you,” she replied, and I chuckled.
I guided her inside the bar just as Jade walked into the kitchen. She eyed me like she knew Billie wasn’t going to like this, and I knew she hadn’t told her we were broken up, but what did she expect me to do? Whether Ava and I had a past or not, she looked like she was ready to faint, and I wasn’t going to avoid her because there was a possibility my girl would get mad. Under these circumstances, I knew Billie wouldn’t care. If anything, she would be the one to call an ambulance; she was selfless like that.
“What happened? Are you okay?” Jade asked, bending to see Ava’s drooping head.
She shook her head, and asked for a glass of water. I directed Ava to my office and gently pushed her to sit on my chair. Kneeling in front of her, I tucked her hair behind her ear. She looked at me with kindness, and it swirled something inside of me.
I was th
ankful she’d pushed me away because she knew I didn’t really love her. I cared for her. I would probably always care, but there was only one woman who owned me, and that was the crazy little waitress with big brown eyes bartending right outside these walls.
“What happened?” I asked. She swallowed thickly, and my throat dried from the sight of her unshed tears.
“You’re wrong.” Her voice sounded like grit.
“What?”
“I always thought of you as my friend. Even when we were having sex, you were my first real friend. The first person I was able to depend on after…” She sighed. “After my dad passed away.” My eyebrows pinched. I wasn’t expecting this from her, and I felt like a jackass for calling her a bitch. Even though, at times, I felt like she’d earned it.
“I’m sorry I called you a—”
“No, Chris, I am a bitch. I deserved it.”
“No, Ava, you’re not a bitch. It’s not your fault you didn’t feel the same about me, and it’s not your fault that I never told you how I felt.”
Ava looked down, then nodded as Jade walked in with a glass of water.
“Sorry, am I interrupting something?”
Ava and I both said no.
“I’m going to get back out there,” I said. “Let me know if you need to go home, okay?”
She nodded again before I placed a kiss on the top of her head. Outside my office, I took a deep breath before retreating back to the bar. I wasn’t going to be able to stay away from Billie and be the reason why her family got locked up. I had done some fucked up shit in my short twenty-two years of living, but never something that would purposefully hurt a person I love. She wasn’t just a person; she was the woman for me, she was it for me.