Totlandia: Winter

by Josie Brown

  Was there a time in which they’d snuck away to have sex while everyone was chatting and cooking and munching and prepping their dishes?

  I trusted Ally…

  And I trusted Brady.

  Jesus, what a fool I’ve been.

  Jade couldn’t stand it anymore. She lifted the thong out of the cabinet with the first thing handy—the turkey baster.

  She was still holding it aloft when the front door opened and Brady came into the house. He didn’t even notice her there, in the kitchen. Instead, he went upstairs to put down his sleeping son.

  A few minutes later he came back to investigate why Jade wasn’t already in bed.

  When he saw what she was holding in her hand, his face went white.

  When she flung it at him, it landed on his shoulder.

  “It’s Ally’s, isn’t it?” Her voice was barely a whisper.

  ***

  “Those—Ally’s? No! Hell no! Why would you think that?”

  “Who else’s could it be?”

  He started to speak, but the words did not come out. He stared at the thong. The truth was that he didn’t recognize it.

  Then it dawned on him. Kimberley had been wearing panties after all. At least, at the start of her visit yesterday. By putting Oliver in his playpen, he had given her just enough time to rid herself of them, here in the kitchen.

  He couldn’t tell her about Kimberley. But he couldn’t let her guess his true feelings for Ally either.

  “Trust me, they aren’t Ally’s. She’s just as much your friend as she is mine. More, really.”

  Jade glared up at him, suspiciously. “What does that mean?”

  “It means that she’d never do anything to upset her friendship with you. She likes you too much.”

  Jade eyes glistened with hope that what he said was true. Ally had always welcomed her with open arms. And she genuinely seemed happy to see her and Oliver when they showed up at play dates. Maybe she was jumping to conclusions…

  “She’s nice, but she intimidates me.”

  “She shouldn’t. Just because she’s single and successful—”

  “How long have you known that?” Jade’s question came out in a quivering whisper.

  “What? Well…a while, I guess. What difference does it make?”

  “None…I guess. If the thong really isn’t hers.”

  His arms felt heavy on her shoulders. But with his face so close to hers, she had nowhere to look but directly into his eyes. “Jade, I swear on my life, they aren’t hers.”

  Jade’s eyes narrowed, but she didn’t back off. “No? So, whose are they?”

  Brady’s intake of breath seemed to suck all the air out of the room. “Does it matter? You don’t know her.”

  He let her beat on his chest with all her might. He kept quiet as she cried out her anguish, cursing him for being so hard to love and too cruel to forgive.

  “I never promised to be exclusive, Jade. That wasn’t part of our deal.”

  “‘Our deal’?” She practically spat out the words. “Okay, no. You’re right, Brady. That wasn’t part of ‘our deal.’ But as far as I’m concerned, your screwing anyone else is a deal breaker. Do you get it? I’ll—I’ll walk if you do it again. I mean it!”

  He could see in her eyes that walking away meant giving up too much: Oliver, her new friends, a new way of life.

  And him. Some of him was better than none of him.

  But he couldn’t afford to doubt that she meant what she said.

  “Okay. No one else, from now on. I swear.”

  Until Oliver’s place was secured in the club.

  Until Ally came to her senses.

  What was it that Jobs had said once? Oh yeah, If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it.

  He had found it in Ally.

  And he wasn’t about to let it go.

  Chapter 12

  Friday, 23 November

  “Your ears must be ringing,” Ally said to Jillian.

  “Oh no! What have I done now?” Jillian glanced around to see which of the PHM&T applications committee members was giving her the evil eye.

  “It’s all great, believe me. Everyone who has had a slice of your pie has been raving about it. Especially Bettina.”

  “Wow, great.” The terror on Jillian’s face softened into pride. “Do you think it’s enough to secure a slot for me?”

  “Sadly, I think it’s worked to Kelly’s favor. She’s taking all the credit she can for this shindig.”

  The women looked around. The club’s after-Thanksgiving potluck was a rousing success. Kelly had outdone herself by transforming the Presidio Golf Club Café into a beautiful autumnal forest. Branches crisscrossed overhead and tiny holiday lights flickered through, like the night sky shining above. Real fallen leaves were sewn onto the burlap cloths that covered the long family-style tables, which were also lit, from underneath, with rustic lanterns. Centerpieces were made of real turkey feathers and Indian corn, husks and stalks included.

  The older children had a turkey piñata to hit outside, or played Pin the Tail on the Turkey. In a nearby playroom, two forlorn teenagers dressed as pilgrims watched the toddlers.

  Kelly, dressed in an elegant wool suit, greeted club members and their families at the door. Bettina stood proudly beside her.

  “Kelly must have worked late into the night to make this place so beautiful,” Jillian declared. “What kind of Thanksgiving do you think she had? I feel guilty we didn’t invite her.”

  Ally shrugged. “She may not have come. Besides all the work she’s done here, Kelly has been avoiding us like the plague.”

  “I guess you’re right. Except for Lorna. Speak of the devil.” They waved at their friend, who had just entered the clubhouse, Dante in hand. Matt brought up the rear, carrying the large bowl that contained Lorna’s stuffing.

  Lorna waved back, but before she could make her way over, she was intercepted by Bettina.

  ***

  “We missed you at Stinson Beach,” Bettina offered, giving Lorna no greeting, no air kiss.

  Her statement seethed with recrimination.

  Lorna widened her smile to keep it from faltering. “I’m sure you had a great time with Eleanor.”

  Bettina shrugged. “Lily did. Mother made it a point to make her feel like a princess.”

  “I’m sure it was worth our staying home, for that reason alone.”

  “How did you spend your Thanksgiving, anyway? Just a quiet little meal for the three of you?”

  Lorna should have been prepared for that question, but she wasn’t. Matt, however didn’t hesitate. After kissing his sister on the forehead, he said, “Oh, didn’t you know? Some nice moms from your club had us over.” He pointed out Jade and Brady, who had just joined Ally and Jillian. “Great grub, nice folks! Hey, Brady’s actually interested in my German Wi-Fi venture. He’s already emailed me about it. Wouldn’t it be cool if he invested, too? Maybe this little club of yours isn’t such a bad idea after all.”

  He grabbed Dante from Lorna and made his way over toward Brady.

  Thanks for nothing, Matt, Lorna thought, as she watched Bettina’s face harden into a scowl.

  She wished she could have gone with him. Instead, she had to swelter under her sister-in-law’s glare. “You ditched us for—for them?”

  “I explained to Eleanor that I needed a break this year. Things are intense, what with the club and all.”

  Bettina’s sly smirk made Lorna wish she hadn’t said that. Oh well, Lorna thought, throw her a bone and maybe she’ll find another carcass to gnaw on. Lorna added, “I’m guessing you needed a break from us, too.”

  Bettina waved to Kimberley, on the other side of the room. “You married into this family—which makes you ‘family,’ too. I’m strong. I’ve made my peace with that. That said, I persevere through family functions.”

  Lorna shook her head in amazement. “I suppose you want me t
o thank you now, for making me feel so welcomed?”

  “No, not at all. However, if it’s not too much to ask, I’d appreciate it if you could refrain from embarrassing me.”

  “How have I done that?”

  “By choosing them”—her hand swept out toward Lorna’s friends—“over a Connaught holiday gathering. Word of your slight will sweep through the club like wildfire, which is the real reason why you did it, isn’t it?”

  Lorna was too stunned to answer. Perhaps that was better, since she had to control the urge to inform her sister-in-law that, despite any presumptions otherwise, she didn’t spend her life thinking up ways to embarrass her.

  Just then, Kelly waved at both of them.

  “What a team player she is!” Bettina nodded toward Kelly. “This event proves she’ll make a great addition to the club. And to think, if things had turned out differently, she and I might have been sisters-in-law.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “Oh…nothing. Just thinking out loud.” She waved the thought away. “Life is filled with cruel twists of fate, isn’t it? Like your predicament, with the club I mean. Another reason not to get too close to the others before the final cut. Speaking of the cut, how’s our cookbook coming?”

  “Fabulous. In fact, it will be back from the printer in time for the holiday party. Members will have time to buy extra copies as gifts.” Lorna’s gaze didn’t waver. She never wanted Bettina to know how nervous she was about the project. She had worked hard on the cover design, the text layout, and the book’s distribution. Even more importantly, she’d had the brilliant idea of submitting it to all the online bookstores so that its sales might grow beyond the club’s members. That should ensure her position in the club.

  At least, she hoped so.

  Lorna’s update elicited no more than a shrug from Bettina. “You’re always so determined to succeed. It’s a trait I so admire.” She scanned the room. “Time to mingle. I’d hate for any of the other Onesies to think I’m playing favorites. Of course, today it should be obvious that if I were, it’d be Kelly, hands down.”

  ***

  Ally almost didn’t come to the potluck. Not because Barry couldn’t be there but because she knew that Brady would show up.

  And that he’d be fool enough to hang at her side.

  She was glad that Matt had cornered him the moment he, Jade, and Oliver had arrived. She beckoned Jade to join them. At first, Jade hesitated, but then she nodded and made her way over.

  “Lots of food, isn’t there?” Ally asked her. Jade tilted her head, but said nothing. Then she turned to Jillian. “Did you bring your ranger friend?”

  “Shhhhh!” Jillian looked across the room at Bettina, as if afraid they could be overheard. “I didn’t think it was a great idea. At least, not until the final cut.”

  Jade shrugged. “You’re wrong. Even after the final cut, we have to pretend. As long as a member has a kid in the club, Bettina and the head group mom will always be watching for infractions.” She stared at Ally. “As far as I’m concerned, that’s fine by me.”

  What does she mean by that? Ally wondered. Did Jillian say something to her about me? Or maybe it was Brady. Maybe he finally told her how he felt about me…

  About us.

  But no. Because if that were the case, Jade would not have suddenly put her arm around Ally’s waist, as if they were the closest friends in the world.

  As if she’d never let her go.

  But she did let her go. Quickly, in fact, when Ally turned to her and said, “Sorry we left you with such a large mess to clean up. Really, we should have helped you put things away.”

  “That’s okay,” Jade answered, frowning. “It didn’t take too long to put everything in its right place. Besides, I don’t feel comfortable when others go through my cabinets.”

  “I know what you mean.” Ally nodded. “You never know what they’ll find.”

  “Or what they’ll lose,” Jade muttered.

  She didn’t wait for Ally to reply. Instead, she walked over to Brady and nuzzled his neck.

  Chapter 13

  Wednesday, 5 December

  “Why hasn’t Scott taken the DNA test? What is taking so long?” Jillian’s cell had lousy reception outside of Claxton’s. Every other word coming out of Lutz’s mouth seemed to disappear. All she heard was “Stalling…Judge says…wait until after the holidays…still trying to get him to release funds…”

  What did come out loud and clear, however, was Lutz’s request for his December retainer. “You’re twelve days behind, Jillian. It doesn’t work that way.”

  “I know, I know! But Tom, I barely made the house payment this month.” She should have also told him that she was heating the house with the fireplaces, but she had too much pride for that. It was a shame she had re-glazed the windows, which Scott had suggested to save money, as opposed to having them replaced with ones that were double paned.

  “Your financial situation is neither here nor there, Jillian. If I let you slide, I have to do so for the rest of my clients.”

  The cell phone cut off. Had he hung up on her? She stared down at her phone. No, the battery had died.

  Great, just great, she thought. He’ll think I hung up on him.

  Just then Brad stuck his head out the door. “Jesus, Jillian, what are you doing out here? It’s colder than a witch’s tit!”

  “I—I had to call my attorney back.”

  “Your break is over now, so come back in.” He showed his annoyance with a shake of his head. “Hey, you’re always looking for extra cash. Want to work a private party? It pays time and a half what you’ll tip out on that night. It’s Saturday the 15th.”

  “Oh my God! Yes, count me in.” The event’s date was perfect: a week after her PHM&T hosting event, the children’s holiday party.

  Already, she’d scheduled a walkthrough of the two-story Gingerbread House at the Fairmont. Afterward she would lead the children in decorating gingerbread cookies. They would then play the Kwanzaa game of “Earth, Wind, Fire or Water,” followed by the lighting of all eight Menorah candles by the rabbi she’d commissioned to be on hand to explain the meaning of Hanukkah. She would then lead the children in a game of dreidel, which would increase their appetites for the latkes they would eat afterward. Last but not least, Santa would be waiting to hear their Christmas wishes.

  Now, if that didn’t assure her one of the four Onesies slots, she’d give up trying.

  “There will be five of us working it, which means everyone else will be here for the night. All hands on deck.” Brad added, “The holidays! Gotta love ’em, if not for the presents, then for the dough.”

  Money. Yes! Yes! She couldn’t even scrape together the money for a Christmas tree for the girls. But with the extra money from working the party, she’d get them a small one.

  And maybe have Caleb over for Christmas Eve.

  Which meant she’d have to get the oven fixed, too.

  She’d make sure Brad booked her for all of the private parties, from now until the end of the year.

  Chapter 14

  Monday, 10 December

  11:10 a.m.

  “Is this really a cookie?” little Ferguson Wickett grabbed hold of the witch’s cap on the gingerbread house in the Fairmont’s lobby and gave it a twist. When it came off in his hand, frosting icicles and all, he did what any three-year-old boy would do, he stuffed the whole thing in his mouth.

  Jillian watched as a security guard yanked him up by his tiny velvet vest so that his feet dangled a yard over the hotel’s plush Persian carpet. Thank goodness Ferguson’s mother, Mallory, was busy gossiping with two other Threesies mothers.

  “Please don’t throw him out,” she begged the guard. “He’s just a rambunctious little boy.”

  The guard looked at Ferguson. It would have helped the little boy’s cause if he wasn’t smiling through lips covered in frosting. Finally, the guard sighed and loosened his grip. “Then please keep him on a leash,�
� he muttered as he released Ferguson, nudging him toward Jillian.

  At that moment, Mallory looked over in time to see the guard’s hands coming off her little angel. “Ferguson broke what? So, what’s the big deal? Boys will be boys, right? He should know that, unless he’s too old to remember.”

  The guard turned and frowned at Mallory. She scowled back, ready to make something of it.

  No way was Jillian going to have Mallory get into a row with Fairmont security when Amelia and Addison’s memberships depended on it. Quickly, she grabbed Ferguson’s hand, practically running up the Fairmont’s grand staircase with him. “Come on, everyone! Follow Ferguson and me! After we decorate gingerbread men, we’ll eat them, too!”

  The stampede of children following them was even louder than the carolers in the lobby.

  Lorna grabbed Addison along with Dante, while Ally picked up Amelia and Zoe, and followed the crowd.

  The security guard had to hold the courtesy phone away because the pastry chef’s curses were so loud and furious, but by the time the children’s party was over, the gingerbread house would have a new rooftop ornament.

  ***

  “Do you have a cold?” Ally asked as she handed Jade some green frosting for what was left of the gingerbread man that hadn’t made it into Oliver’s mouth. “You look ill.”

  Jade shook her head. She wasn’t ill.

  She’d just seen a ghost.

  Santa.

  She and Oliver had been standing behind Ally, who had already placed Zoe in his lap. The little girl seemed smitten with Santa. Although she didn’t know that he was promising her a truckload of Baby Stella dolls, she smiled and squealed while yanking on his beard.

  When it came loose, Jade knew for sure: Santa was Johnny DeLong.

  Or Long John DingDong, as they called him in the porn industry.

  The same Long John DingDong who had starred with her in Alice in WonderLust.

  As the Mad Hatter, he’d worn nothing but a stovepipe hat and a bowtie.