by SE Jakes
Shane stood in the hallway again, as unsure as he’d been since arriving. He couldn’t tell these men the truth—not the whole truth, anyway. But if he admitted just enough to let them know what he’d been through, what they could be up against…
And what are you expecting in return?
The problem was, he couldn’t answer that. Not yet, anyway.
He was good at pretending, at parceling out the truth in increments when necessary, like he’d been doing with Keith and Reed. He’d been doing it for as long as he could remember. It made him a perfect candidate for the CIA. He’d been recruited for a job after less than six months in the military. He’d been handpicked by an undercover operative who’d worked with him, trained at Quantico. He’d leveraged that break to become one of the youngest operatives they’d ever trained and sent into the field. He’d gone back into the Army—to Ranger school—and he stayed undercover to ferret out Rangers who’d been using their rank to move munitions and sell them to rebels in third-world countries. Ultimately, that was what he’d been accused of doing himself, but that had been a lie.
He’d also broken a major rule. He’d fallen in love, had shown his hand. His fault. If he hadn’t, Kyle would be alive and the right person would be in the ground.
You.
And again, he’d escaped death in the freezing temps. He’d saved himself because he’d fallen on a porch instead of the massive field to the right, and he had no idea what prompted him to walk in that direction in the first place. He’d fallen into a situation with two men who could see right through him…if he let them. And maybe, even if he didn’t.
Shane knocked on the door, even though it was partially open. Keith was lying on top of Reed, heard, “You two are like fucking rabbits,” come out of his mouth.
It made Reed laugh. Keith didn’t, rolled off Reed and sat up, prepared to say something he would probably regret. But one look at the kid’s face had him asking, “What’s wrong?”
Shane looked at them and the bed and swallowed, hard. The kid didn’t want to be alone—he could tell. But he wasn’t ready to invite this kid into the bed, not in the sex way—they were all too goddamned vulnerable.
Still, he motioned for Shane to come in, patted the edge of the bed. He and Reed had clothes on and neither man was under the covers.
“I wasn’t completely honest with you,” Shane told Reed. “Well, with either of you.”
“It’s not easy talking about a dishonorable, especially if you think you were wronged,” Reed told him, but Shane shook his head.
“I mean, yeah, I didn’t do what I was accused of. But there’s more to the story. And after I tell you…look, if you need me to go, I get it. But I can’t keep lying to you. I should—and I don’t know why I goddamned can’t.” His face flushed. “I was doing it to protect you guys.”
Keith held back a laugh. It had been a hell of a long time since anyone so fresh-faced and young had worried about his safety. But he remained stoic, because he wanted to hear the kid out.
“Go ahead, Shane. I can pretty much promise you we can handle anything,” Reed said.
“Kyle and I met in the Army. We weren’t in the same company or anything, but still—it wasn’t exactly something we shouted from the rooftops, repeal of DADT or not. We were in Afghanistan and I caught the tail end of a roadside bomb—enough to nearly shatter my eardrums and knock me on my ass. I was out of it, lying on my back, and Kyle was leaning over me and…” He paused, wiped an angry tear from his face and continued, “And someone shot Kyle from behind. And at first, I thought it was a rebel. But when I looked, I saw him. Guthrie. And there was no reason for him to be shooting at a member of his own team. We hadn’t been under fire.”
Reed had paled and Keith ran a hand across the back of his neck to bring him back from whatever terrible place he was headed to in his mind. To his credit, Reed shook it off immediately, as if knowing helping Shane was something that could actually help him as well.
“Did you report it?” Keith asked.
“I passed out. When I woke up in the hospital and they told me that I was being accused of selling guns to the rebels. They had evidence against me, thanks to Guthrie. When I told them I saw Guthrie shoot Kyle, it was my word against Guthrie’s, and the range of Kyle’s gunshot wound didn’t match where I saw Guthrie aiming from.”
“Is it possible that Guthrie heard the shot and broke position to check things out?” Keith asked.
“No, that’s not the way it happened,” Shane said quietly. He’d left out a good chunk of what actually happened because he couldn’t goddamned tell them classified information…
Bullshit. You don’t want to tell them. You don’t want to admit what happened.
But it didn’t matter—the outcome was the same—Kyle was dead because of Guthrie and Guthrie was threatening him. Stalking him. And every day Shane got stronger, he was a day closer to stopping Guthrie from doing any more harm to him.
“You did brig time?”
“A month.” He had, until the CIA got him cleared of charges. They kept the dishonorable discharge, didn’t bother to fight it because Shane wasn’t really in the Army anyway. “When they couldn’t prove the gun charge, they released me and…” He rubbed his eyes hastily, in case some tears had fallen that he hadn’t felt. “After that, I was just…dead inside. Kyle was…”
He paused, searching for the right words, the ones he was never able to find. Not until he came here and saw Reed and Keith and what they had between them. “Kyle was everything. Hell, I’d never even thought of letting anyone know I was gay until he kissed me one night after a drunken brawl we’d stumbled out of.”
Keith remembered those days, when he’d been young and heady, ready to take on the world but unable to actually be himself. Not totally, anyway. He was a Marine through and through, like his daddy before him and his grandfather before that. But the gay thing…he’d known it since high school but hadn’t come to terms with it until Bobby.
Bobby just brought it all to the forefront for him. There was something about a first love…
But that didn’t mean that second or third loves weren’t just as damned sweet or special. Sometimes, they were even more so, because you knew better, knew that you had to treasure the damned short time you had together. “He sounds like a good guy.”
“The best. Maybe it sounds stupid, but I think…you would’ve really liked him.”
“I’m sure I would’ve. He had good taste in men.”
Shane smiled shyly. “Thanks.”
“And this Guthrie character—he’s been after you?” Keith said.
“Yes. I know it sounds crazy, because he was cleared of any wrongdoing and I came out the loser in the case. He’s retired and no one’s been able to find him. It’s like he fell off the map.”
“Which is why the police don’t believe you?”
“I didn’t go to the police. I wanted to handle this on my own. Guthrie’s after me. I can feel it. And if I don’t leave—”
“You’re not leaving,” Reed said tightly. “Don’t you even think about it.”
Before Shane could say anything more, the blond man left the room.
“He’s okay. It’s just…he doesn’t want anything to happen to you. And he doesn’t want to lose you,” Keith said.
“And what about you?” Shane asked.
“What about me?”
“You’re less…forgiving than Reed’s been.”
“That’s true. You’ve got balls for saying it,” Keith admitted. “I want to make sure you’re all right, Shane. You’ve been through hell—and I think you’re telling the truth.”
“I…I wanted to join you,” he admitted.
“You did,” was all Keith said. “What else do you want? You’ve already kissed Reed.”
Shane felt his face flush, looked at Keith who didn’t look upset or worried. “I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t say you had to be sorry, dammit. I want to know what you need. I’m not i
n the habit of taking advantage of young men who pass out on my doorstep. It’s one thing to be horny. It’s another to be in trouble and not tell us,” Keith finished, and Shane saw white.
“What the fuck do you want from me? I’ve been running for my life for the past six months. I lost my lover. I lost my career. I’m pissed off. Scared, and I have no one in the goddamned world to turn to,” he told them. When he met Keith’s gaze, there was a depth of understanding there he never would’ve expected.
“Yeah, you do,” Keith told him. “You have two people to go to, and lucky for you, you’re already here.”
Reed came back in then, walked past him and patted the space in the middle of the bed. “Come here, Shane.”
“I couldn’t.”
“Then we’ll sleep in bed with you,” Reed countered.
“You wake up screaming at night, but you calm down as soon as one of us touches you,” Keith explained. “This is sleep only. No strings. Come on—we could all use a solid eight.”
Crawling into the middle of these two men made him hard. He got on his stomach like that would solve anything. As soon as he did, both men touched him, an arm, a thigh brushing his.
“It’ll help, Shane,” Reed said sleepily. “Always helped me.”
He was too tired to think about what that meant, but he swore he simply blinked and when he looked at the clock again, it was morning. He wouldn’t have known that by the gray sky, heavy with the swell of another incoming storm, but the clock read ten in the morning. A solid eight.
He had to glance over Reed to see the clock. Reed had turned to face him, his arm and leg thrown casually over Shane’s back. He felt the heat from Keith’s body as the man’s heavy thigh remained touching his.
And then the phone rang and both men were up and alert as if they hadn’t just been in deep REM sleep. Keith took the call, handed it to Reed, who said, “You’d better grab me soon, before this storm hits,” and hung up.
And then both men were staring at him. All he could think of to say was, “I don’t think I screamed last night.”
Reed and Keith blinked at him for a moment and then laughed.
“You might be the only man to spend a night in this bed who hasn’t,” Reed managed finally.
Shane grinned. He wouldn’t mind giving up that record.
Chapter Thirteen
Spending the night with Shane between them was a way to ensure a quiet night—and a frustrating one. Touching the younger man only made him want to touch him more. Reed supposed Keith felt the same way, but it was good to see Shane sleeping peacefully.
He yawned a few times and figured he could catch a few quick naps on the flight to wherever Proph was sending him. Grabbed some gear from the attic space they kept it locked up in and carried it all downstairs to sort it out.
“You sure you’re all right with this?” Keith asked him as he dumped the stuff onto the bed and mentally checked off the items on his must-bring list. Reed knew he’d wanted to ask it for hours now, but to his credit, held out the entire time he was making Reed breakfast, making Reed come in the shower—several times—and now, he was hovering.
He didn’t do this normally, but nothing was normal these days. “Losing faith in me, hoss?”
“Never. I could go with you, if you need. I think Shane would be okay here, or we could ask someone to check in on him.”
“You’re worried about being alone with him.”
“I don’t know what’s going to happen, Reed. If you were here, it’d be different.”
“What are you worried about?” he asked, and Keith’s expression tightened. “It’s not being unfaithful to me or to Bobby. Not if I’m telling you to try it. Look, I didn’t ask for this to happen, but it did. Shane fell into our laps. He’s meant to be in our lives in one way or another. And he’s sure as shit interested in you.”
“In me?” Keith shook his head.
“Just let it happen. Whatever’s meant to. It’s the only way we’re going to know for sure if this is right.”
“I was planning on offering him a job, not sleeping with him.”
Reed glanced up at the man’s dark eyes and told him seriously, “You can do both.”
Keith stared up at the ceiling for a second, shook his head and just said, “Ah Reed.”
“I’m not blind—I have suspicions.”
“But you’ve somehow let him in here.” Keith tapped his hand over Reed’s heart.
“And how often do I do that?” Reed asked pointedly and Keith conceded to the point with a nod. “And don’t tell me you don’t like him.”
“I don’t.”
“You’re lying.”
“He’s turning into a wiseass.”
Reed shrugged. “So we’re finally seeing the real Shane. Isn’t that what you wanted all along?”
“Yeah, be careful what you wish for.”
Shane lingered at the door as Reed packed. The bag looked innocuous enough, but based on the work the man did, Shane would lay bets as to the number of concealed weapons it contained, never mind the amount on his body.
He wore all black. A bandana wrapped around his head. And there was this look in his eyes that all soldiers got. Reed was already gone. His standing there in the flesh was merely a minor inconvenience to him that could be rectified easily by the private helo he’d be jumping on within the hour. In Reed’s mind, the job—the battle—had started.
“I’ll be back in a few days,” Reed promised.
Shane didn’t know what to say, even as I’ll miss you and I’m fucking nervous as hell to be alone with Keith ran through his head.
Instead of saying any of that, he merely said, “Okay.”
“Gonna give me something from you to come back to?” Reed asked. Keith was in the doorway, looking lazily between him and Reed.
Finally, Reed reached around and palmed the back of Shane’s neck, pulled him in close and kissed the ever-loving shit out of him. A different kiss than the other night. This one wasn’t tame, and Reed wasn’t letting him pull away.
Instead, the man’s tongue took his mouth hungrily, like he was drowning and Shane was the water. He started to panic because Keith was there…Keith would get angry…
But then Keith’s hand rested on the back of his head and that touch was gentle, calmed him enough to enjoy it. If Keith didn’t mind…
Keith didn’t mind. He put his arms around Reed, as if to stop him from moving away and Reed laughed softly into Shane’s mouth. When he pulled back, he had a crooked smile on his face and he stroked Shane’s cheek roughly.
“Beautiful. Fucking beautiful.” His voice was rough. Shane figured that was the end of it, until Reed dropped to his knees. Shane shuddered at the sight of the man between his legs, but Keith was right behind him. He leaned against Keith as Reed unzipped his jeans and freed his cock, wasting no time in taking it inside his mouth.
“Holy fuck,” Shane murmured. Couldn’t deny it was what he’d wanted to happen last night when they were all lying on the bed together. But he’d understood why it hadn’t.
His cock was encased in Reed’s hot, wet mouth, the suction making Shane jolt. His hands curled in Reed’s hair as he leaned against Keith’s chest and moaned. It would be over too soon—he knew that. Reed was too good, tonguing the slit like he was fucking it, caressing his balls, and Keith murmured, “You like this, baby boy,” and that was it. He shot down Reed’s throat harder than he’d ever remembered coming before. He called out, an indecipherable moan, and then he whimpered like he was some kind of goddamned virgin.
He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, Reed remaining between his legs, continuing to lick Shane’s cock lightly, Keith holding him up, but he wanted it to be for fucking forever, because that’s how good it was. For that moment, he was whole and everything was right with the world.
But it wasn’t. There was still Guthrie. And Reed was leaving and nothing was secure about his place here. Not yet.
But they were certainly offeri
ng to make him some kind of home.
Finally, Reed stood and kissed both Shane and Keith. So goddamned dirty, since they were all tasting Shane’s come, and he got hard again.
“He’s got to go,” Keith told him, and Shane managed to move off of Keith. He watched the men embrace, fought the urge to touch them, instead contented himself with watching, convinced that the two men would start fucking again in front of him.
But judging from what he’d seen and witnessed, they might’ve actually fucked themselves out. And then Keith walked away, leaving Shane with Reed.
“Like I said, I won’t be gone long. Get to know Keith. The job. This place. I think you already like it here. And us.”
“Keith’s a lot like Kyle,” Shane admitted. “Kyle was a hardass too. Didn’t take my shit. I gave him a lot of it in the beginning.”
“Been there.” Reed smiled as though enjoying the memories. “Am still there sometimes, but I guess I choose to be.”
Shane touched his lips self-consciously, thinking about what he’d just done. And Reed and Keith were going about their business like nothing happened.
Although, that wasn’t true, entirely. There was still a raised flush on Reed’s face. He’d been affected.
Finally, Reed said, “Keith’s like Kyle. You feel like it’s a betrayal.”
“Keith scares me,” he said stubbornly.
“Because you know it can bring you peace.”
And peace would be a betrayal. “Where is Kyle’s peace?”
“Knowing you’re happy,” Reed said before he picked up his bag and walked out the door.
It closed with a soft snick of an automatic lock that mimicked the sound of an un-safetied rifle. And now, he was alone. With Keith.
Reed trusted both of them that much. Shane felt humbled and worried all at once as he watched Reed get into a waiting black truck that maneuvered through the snow and ice. Watched for a long time afterwards too, his body still humming with contentment.
He didn’t notice Keith come up next to him until the man spoke. “He gets like that when he goes. Cocky as hell.”