“Hey yourself, how was your shift?” he asked.
She had to stop herself from pulling her arm away when he cupped her elbow, to lead her in the direction he’d come from. The spark of electricity that had been there from the first moment they’d touched was still there. If anything, it was a lot stronger.
“Long.” Dawn could feel heat rising up her neck and it wasn’t from the sun that was rising higher in the sky. She might as well have just said she’d missed him and had counted down the milliseconds until her shift had finished and she could see him again. “You know how it can be; busy shifts but uneventful, meaning the evening drags. How was your night?” she asked in desperation before giving more of herself away.
“Long — and lonely.”
Dawn stifled the groan that almost erupted from her. “Do you have a roommate?” She hoped by asking the inane question any thoughts of how they could solve their “loneliness” would be avoided.
“No, no roommate. I like living by myself. Besides I’m renting this one bedroom place which is no bigger than a postage stamp. But I’ll be moving shortly into a townhouse I’ve purchased.”
The news that he’d bought a place surprised her. She was sure that he was only going to be staying in town for a short while. Buying real estate meant permanence, something that was out of character for him.
“I’m surprised you bought a place, I would’ve thought renting would’ve suited your lifestyle.”
She felt his shrug as he still had a hold of her elbow and when he spoke his voice was a little deeper. A little more emotional than she’d heard before. “Lifestyles change. People change. In the end you do what you have to do.”
There was definitely a deeper meaning underneath those words, but she didn’t have the right to ask him what his problems were. In fact, she didn’t need to know what his problems were. They were two people going for a coffee, and that was all. After they’d had their coffee, they would part and only see each other when and if he came into the ER. She was positive one coffee would be all they would share.
Conversation between them stalled after Andrew’s declaration and Dawn was happy with that. They walked along the sidewalk, towards the café that she’d driven past every evening and morning on her way to and from work. She’d only been in there once and that had been when she’d once met Sophie and Phoebe for a catch-up before her shift.
They reached the café, and Andrew held the door open for her.
“What will you have?” he asked.
“I’ll have a hot chocolate, thanks.” She chose a drink that, hopefully, wouldn’t keep her awake when she got home. Although getting to sleep would be elusive because of the man standing at her side.
“Okay, one hot chocolate coming up.” Andrew craned his neck to the left. “There’s a table at the back, why don’t you grab it and I’ll bring the drinks down.”
“Sure.” Dawn was glad to have a few moments by herself to get her emotions under control. It was just a casual catch up. That’s all it was. It wasn’t a date and it certainly wasn’t the start of a relationship.
Whoa. Where had that thought come from? Did she need reminding of what happened to her the last time she was in a relationship with Andrew? Did she need reminding that relationships lead to heartbreak? Did she need reminding that she’d almost given in to the darkness when her son and husband had died?
Perhaps having a drink with Andrew was a bad idea. She’d purposely stayed away from any sort of involvement with the opposite sex for this reason. She couldn’t risk her heart again.
She went to stand, but Andrew arrived at the table with a tray holding two mugs, the steam from them drawling lazy circles in the air. Also on the tray was a basket containing some pastries. Her stomach grumbled when the aroma of the cherry Danish hit her senses. Her favorite pastry. Maybe she could stay for a few minutes and eat something; she usually had something to eat when she got home before she had a shower and then went to bed.
“I figured you’d be hungry and when I saw they had your favorite, I knew I had to get it for you.”
As he laid it before her, the opportunity to object or stand to say that she really should go had disappeared. He placed her drink beside the basket and then slid into the opposite side of the booth. She noticed that he had some sort of breakfast sandwich. A typical male breakfast, full of carbs and protein.
She picked up the Danish and bit into the corner. She closed her eyes as the tartness from the cherries woke up her taste buds.
Dawn washed down her mouthful with a sip of hot chocolate. It was so decadent. The chocolate was creamy and smooth. Another thing she could get totally addicted to.
“You look as if you haven’t spoiled yourself for ages.”
So caught up in the food and drink, she’d forgotten that Andrew was sitting across from her.
“I usually go straight home after work. I’ve got a routine that works.” She took another sip of her drink. “But if I’d known what a good café this was, I would stop here every day.”
His laugh rippled down her back, like the smooth hot chocolate sliding down her throat. “I don’t think that would be a bad thing. You need to spoil yourself every now and then. Plus, they have cherry Danishes.”
She joined him in his laughter. “True, they do indeed. I’m surprised you remembered I liked them.”
The laughter died in his eyes and a seriousness she’d never seen before entered Andrew’s eyes. They were stormy now and her enjoyment in the food faded on the spot. “I’ve never forgotten anything about you, Dawn.
Chapter 4
Dawn didn’t know what to make of Andrew’s declaration. It wasn’t something she wanted to hear. It echoed her thoughts too much. She’d never forgotten anything about him either. About his smile. How it felt to be held in his arms. His favorite food. How he had his coffee. Or how it had felt when he had taken possession of her. Those few seconds after he’d entered her body, when the world stopped for her each and every time.
“I’m not sure whether I should be flattered or worried.” She tried to lighten the mood but at the narrowing of his eyes, she knew she’d failed miserably.
“I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, Dawn.”
She almost laughed out loud at that. He’d broken her heart. That pretty much meant he’d hurt her and hurt her badly. She had to remember those feelings. “I think it’s a bit late for that. No matter what you say now, you hurt me when you left.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I can’t change what I did back then. I was young and stupid and selfish.” He reached over and took her hands. “Can you forgive me for that? Can you put it behind you, because now I’d really like to get to know Dawn the woman.”
“I don’t know.” Fatigue hit her and she knew she had to get home soon, otherwise she’d be falling asleep in her car and that wouldn’t be good at all. “I just don’t know. I can’t think straight when I’m tired.”
“Fair enough.” He looked at his watch and grimaced. “It’s getting late, if you could call nearly eight-thirty in the morning late. I’m sure from all that you’ve told me, being awake at this time isn’t normal for you. I’d offer to drive you home, but I need to be at the station in five minutes.” He gulped down the rest of his drink and slid along the bench seat.
Following suit, Dawn gathered up her handbag. “Thanks for the hot chocolate and Danish.”
Andrew grabbed her hand and helped her as she slipped out of the booth. “Believe me, the pleasure is all mine.” She had to stop the shiver that threatened to overtake her body when he tucked a finger under her chin and lifted it. She looked deep into his eyes, almost drowning in the sea of blue radiating towards her, like an incoming tide. “Promise me you’ll think about what I said, about getting to know you again.”
Speech was impossible at that moment so she just nodded.
/> Andrew grinned a little wider and cheekier. “Perhaps this will help the decision along.”
Dawn was frozen to the spot as she knew what was about to happen. He lowered his head and as his lips touched hers softly her eyes drifted shut. She sighed, opening her mouth a fraction to give his lips better access to hers. Her skin tingled and warmth started to fill the places that had been cold for so long. She gripped her handbag a little tighter. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, deepen the kiss.
But as quickly as it started, the kiss was over and Andrew was stepping away, taking the warmth she wanted so desperately with him.
As she opened her eyes she became aware of where they were, in the middle of a busy café. Fortunately no one seemed to have noticed the kiss they’d shared, unless they were being polite. Andrew took a firmer hold of her hand and led her towards the exit. She forced one foot in front of the other and eventually her body’s instinct took over and she was able to leave the café without crumbling in a heap on the ground.
The moment they were outside, Andrew gathered her up in a hug. He was making it so hard to resist him.
“I’m sorry I can’t walk you back to your car. As it is, I’m going to have to run to my car and I’ll still be late.”
“It’s fine. I should’ve been more aware of the time myself.” Dawn extricated herself from his hold and opened her bag to get her car keys. “Hope you have a good shift. Bye.”
“I’ll be in touch, Dawn. Have a good sleep.”
She watched as he jogged off down the sidewalk, finally moving when he had disappeared around the corner.
As she walked back towards the hospital and her car, she went over everything that had happened since she’d started her shift yesterday. Her mind had been full of Andrew since he’d sought her out in the cafeteria.
What was she doing? She couldn’t let herself fall under his spell again. She had to remember the resolve she’d made as she’d stood at the cemetery looking at the side-by-side graves of her husband and beloved son. It hurt too much when you loved and then lost.
• • •
Andrew was whistling as he walked into the station.
“Hey, Holmes, you’re late, quit your whistling and get yourself to the rig. I want an inventory and I want it yesterday.”
“Yes, sir,” he answered with a smile at his superior officer, Mac. He didn’t take offence to the gruff tone of his chief. He was late; he had to take his punishment.
“Why are you still smiling?” Mac asked. “I just asked you to do the shittiest job and you’re smiling?”
Mac took a couple of steps closer to Andrew, looking him up and down as if that would reveal the puzzle of why he was still smiling. “Did you get lucky or something?”
Andrew laughed. With the mood he was in, the guys on his shift could say anything they wanted and it wouldn’t bother him one little bit. “No, sir, can’t a guy just be in a good mood?”
Mac shook his head, and handed Andrew a clipboard and pen.
“It’s too damn early to be this happy,” Mac grumbled, before he walked away and left Andrew standing where he was. Andrew turned and headed towards his rig. Once there, he opened the back doors and climbed in, ready to tick off what they had and what needed to be restocked.
As he opened drawers and made notations, he let his mind drift to the coffee he’d had with Dawn.
For him it had been like old times. He’d enjoyed watching her eat the pastry, like it was the sweetest thing she’d ever tasted. There’d been a lightness to her eyes that he hadn’t seen since he’d run into her that fateful night just over a week ago. Her eyes had always held sorrow and darkness, for a few minutes it was as if she’d forgotten all her troubles.
He knew she’d lost her husband and infant son. He couldn’t fathom how she’d managed to move on with her life. He didn’t know what he’d do if the roles were reversed, if he’d lost the love of his life and child.
Andrew stopped writing and looked out the open back doors at the empty driveway. Traffic rushed past, everyone going on with their day to day business. How many had suffered the same sort of loss Dawn had? How many found the strength to move on? How many shut themselves off from the world and lived a solitary existence? A thought hit him then — had she really moved on with her life? She worked continuous night shifts. She never did a day shift. Dawn had told him she didn’t date. She was simply going through the motions of living. When she’d tasted that Danish today, he would swear the things he’d seen on her face were genuine and probably the first time she’d allowed herself to fully enjoy something.
But it hadn’t lasted long, and he’d pushed her to go out with him again. Had he scared her away?
“Are you done yet, Holmes?” Mac’s voice pushed the thoughts of Dawn away. He’d only just started this job after he’d finished his training. He needed to make a good impression; it wouldn’t look good to anyone if he couldn’t hold down a job.
“Almost, Mac.” Andrew nodded towards the group of girls he just spied walking past the station. “Just admiring the view. I’ll be done in ten.”
“See that you are, and keep your focus on the job and not the passing scenery.”
Andrew could’ve assured Mac that checking out women was ranked extremely low on his list of priorities. But he didn’t want to be accused of daydreaming on the job. It was just convenient those girls had walked past when they had. It had given him a good excuse to not be counting inventory. He only wished Dawn had been a part of the group.
Andrew pushed thoughts of Dawn aside; he would bring them out and mull over them later, when he wouldn’t get busted by his superior officer. Maybe another trip to the ER tonight might be in order.
• • •
Dawn had been surprised when she’d gotten home and, even though it was later than normal, she’d been able to complete her normal routine and had fallen straight to sleep. That her dreams had been full of Andrew, and his kiss, hadn’t even bothered her. The dreams had been hot and sweaty and she’d woken with the sheets wrapped around her body. For the first time in a long time, she’d woken up happy. Of course, it usually only took a couple of minutes before the reality of her life hit her between the eyes.
Now as she sat at her breakfast counter eating some food before her shift, she looked at the two pictures she had taken off the shelf and placed in front of her on the counter. While chewing on her steak, she looked at the sweet innocent eyes of Brody and the laughing ones of Tom. If the roles were reversed, would she have expected Tom to shut himself away from everything and everyone he’d ever known? Her family now didn’t question her nocturnal habits. Her parents had long ago accepted that this was her way of dealing with things. Her mother would call every now and then, but never pressured her to snap out of it.
As she looked long and hard at Tom’s features, she knew he’d be angry with her for the way she’d stopped living. She could almost hear him now, saying, Dawn, my sunrise, you are the brightest thing in my life, never change. He’d loved her so much and she had loved him, in her own way. But not as much as she’d loved Andrew and she’d always felt guilty about that. When Brody had arrived she’d poured all her extra love over him. For the eight months he’d been alive, Brody had been the brightest thing in her life.
Dawn, you have to live. You’re not honoring our memories by locking yourself away. We’ll always be with you. It’s time to be happy again.
The words whispered through her mind, as if Tom was standing right beside her saying them. She traced a finger over his features smiling up at her from behind the glass of the frame. As she breathed out, she felt as if she was releasing some of the grief that had been holding her back.
Perhaps it was time to move on.
Her thoughts drifted to Andrew and the kiss they’d shared. Her lips had remembered his the moment they’d touched. She had f
orgotten everything that had been going on around her. All her thoughts had been focused on Andrew and his kiss. It had felt like heaven. She wanted to feel that way again.
Could she take the chance and go out with him again? Was she insane to be contemplating that possibility at all? She’d convinced herself that she felt safe with the way her life was at that moment. But if truth be told, she was lonely. She just didn’t like admitting it.
The time had come to start living again. Little baby steps, though. She wasn’t going to jump feet first into a relationship with Andrew. It would be like this morning, catching up for a coffee. Then eventually she would probably feel ready to move onto more with him. Maybe he would be her stepping-stone back into the dating world. She knew he had wanderlust flowing through his veins, not blood. It wouldn’t take long before he would be wanting to seek another adventure. If she could remember that, then dating Andrew could be a possibility.
With her mind made up, Dawn picked up her empty plate and rinsed it before putting it in the dishwasher. She had no way of getting hold of him, she only hoped that he would try and get a hold of her. Maybe he would come and see her tonight before she started her shift. Or maybe he would be waiting for her tomorrow morning when she finished. The more she thought about it the more the idea of living again appealed.
With a spring in her step, she picked up her bag and headed for the door, ready to face whatever her shift had installed for her.
• • •
When Dawn walked into the staffroom, the first thing she saw was a crowd of people. The second thing she heard was the cry of a baby and her heart stilled momentarily. It meant one thing — Sophie was visiting. She knew Sophie had been discharged a few days ago as Alex had taken time off.
Lovers Unmasked: The Complete Series Page 21