Her swift intake of breath had him convinced he’d hit the nail on the head. Her secrets, though, weren’t the reason he was in the room.
“It’s a bit late to try and make amends. The only reason you’re doing it is because I confronted you about it. If I hadn’t pushed you about it, would you have told me?”
He couldn’t lie to her. She was right. He probably wouldn’t have said anything to her about it. But now that he was here, in her room and knowing the choices he had, it wasn’t that hard a decision to make.
“I’m not sure. Half an hour ago, probably not. Now, yes I need to tell you. I want to tell you.”
Her snort of derision didn’t give him any confidence that this conversation was going to go his way. “Don’t bother, I don’t want to hear it. In fact, I think you should leave.”
She hadn’t moved from her perch by the window, but he could feel the anger from her. He deserved it, and knew he had to make up some big ground to get their relationship back to where he wanted it to be. Sharing his most shameful experience of his life with her was only going to be the start. He had to prove to her that she was the most important thing in his life.
“I’m not going anywhere, and you’re going to hear me out, Phoebe.”
“Why should I?”
“Because you mean a lot to me. I want to share the rest of my life with you. I need you, sweetheart. I need you.”
The moment he said the words he knew they were true. He wasn’t totally convinced he loved her, he knew he could never give that total control to anyone. He didn’t think he could let himself be that vulnerable again. What he did know was that he wanted her with every fiber of his being. He had made the decision when she’d broken their engagement that he wasn’t going to let her go, and nothing had changed since then. If anything, his feelings of caring for her had deepened.
“I want to believe you, Marco, I really do. But how can I when you’ve done nothing to show that to me. The only time you’ve been honest and shared a part of yourself with me was after we came across that car accident.”
She paused and he knew she was remembering what had happened after they’d gotten back to the house. He had lost himself in her and had told her about Tomasso. “Is that what it is going to take every time for you to share things with me, Marco? A tragedy or, like tonight, a demand from me? Will you ever willingly share yourself with me? It’s got to be more than just need.”
Marco was feeling ashamed of himself. He could understand why she was feeling the way she was. She had been open with him about her past relationship with John. Of course, he’d known about the other man, had met him on occasions.
He’d also known the moment he’d met Phoebe that he wanted her, and had waited until the right moment. He’d instinctively known that John Allen was going to hurt her and he would be there to pick up the pieces.
Did that make him ruthless? Probably, but he’d always gone after what he wanted.
“I’m not one to share my burdens with anyone. I’ve always kept things pretty much to myself. I can see now that doing that type of thing is wrong.”
He took a moment to gather his thoughts and courage and then started.
• • •
“I’m going to tell you about my relationship with Veronika,” Marco said. “Only one other person knows the real truth about what happened in this relationship and that person is Alex. Alex was there to help me deal with the shame I felt.”
From her perch by her window Phoebe was wavering. She could hear the pain in his voice, the struggle that he was having over sharing his story with her. He hadn’t even started and she wanted to tell him to stop, that it was fine. But then she would never know and she’d be back to square one.
What she could do was give him support. She stood and walked over to her bed and sat next to him.
“I’m here, Marco. I’m not going to judge. God knows I’ve made plenty of mistakes I’m ashamed of.”
“Nothing as big as this, I’m sure. I was such a fool and I can’t believe I didn’t see Veronika for who she really was. Hell, I don’t even know her real name. It sure as hell isn’t Veronika.”
“What do you mean? How could that not be her real name?”
“Because for the whole time we were seeing each other she was pretending to be someone she wasn’t.”
That didn’t make sense to Phoebe. How could someone pretend to be someone they’re not? Sure, in the movie they watched, the female character pretended to be a society woman when she was in fact a hotel maid. The difference was that situation came about by a mistaken assumption by the lead male character. By the sounds of what Marco was telling her, from the very beginning of his relationship, this girl had not truthful with him.
“I don’t follow what you’re trying to say.”
His sigh rippled through his body. “Veronika created a whole persona which she presented to me. She created a life story that was false. She told me she freelanced at a high-profile architectural firm in the Eastern States. That was false. She told me she was an orphan and had no relatives. That was false. She was living a lie, feeding it to me on a daily basis, and I believed every word she said. I didn’t question it. We were in the same industry, and I thought it was fate that we were meant to be together. She even worked with me on some designs I did. I just accepted every word that came out of her mouth. I was a complete and utter fool. Blinded by a pretty face.”
Phoebe didn’t know what to say. Why on earth would anyone go to the trouble of pretending to be someone they weren’t? She could also understand why Marco was so ashamed. He was a very successful architect and businessman. No man wanted to admit he’d let a woman use her beauty to get the better of him — especially as she was posing as an architect and Marco probably felt he should have seen the signs that she wasn’t what or who she claimed to be.
“How long ago was your relationship with Veronika?”
“It was about eight years ago, but she’d kept up the pretense of loving me for nearly two years. It still burns after all this time that I didn’t see it. I didn’t see her for what she was. It shames me that I had been played so professionally.”
“It does sound like she was a professional at it. No one would be able to do what she did for so long if she hadn’t done it before. Did you tell the police? Did she take any of your designs? How did you find out?”
She reached out and placed her hand on his warm thigh, wanting to let Marco know that she didn’t think he was a fool. Letting him know that she supported him.
“When she skipped out without leaving a note, I knew something was up. No one leaves without a trace unless they’re hiding something. I tried every number I had for her. Each time I got a disconnected message. It was like she disappeared without a trace.” He laughed hoarsely as if what he was about to say next was even worse than what he’d already told her. “She only got about five grand from me. And then it was only by pure luck that it wasn’t more.”
Phoebe almost felt bereft when Marco got up and started pacing around her bedroom, agitation pouring out of every step he took.
“Why was it lucky? Five thousand is still a lot of cash.”
“Because after nearly two years of dating — and I mean seriously dating — we’d decided that we would look at combining all our finances and getting a place together. I’d even started to look at engagement rings.” He came and sat back down on the bed next to her. “She cleared the account the day it opened. I only had a five thousand dollar transfer limit on my account, which is why she only got that much.”
“I’m surprised she didn’t wait for you to make more transfers. To leave after the first one seems a little surprising to me. Especially after investing nearly two years into the relationship with you.”
“I don’t know why she didn’t wait for more. I’d just got my first really large commissi
on, so she knew more was coming in. Geez, she’d sat beside me as I drew up the plans. We’d gone out to celebrate a couple of nights before I did the transfer.” He paused again and as Phoebe watched the play of emotions cross his face she saw the moment something seemed to stand out in his mind. A realization of something.
“What is it, Marco? What have you remembered?”
“It was as we were leaving the nightclub. I was saying goodbye to Alex when someone called out to Veronika. It was another girl, but she didn’t call her Veronika, she called her another name. Veronika laughed it off and told the girl she was mistaken. The girl was insistent but Veronika shook her off. All the way home she was quiet, different, as if she was processing so many thoughts.”
“Do you suppose it was someone she’d pulled a scam on before?”
He shook his head, taking a few seconds to think before answering. Like he was studying his memory banks to make sure his memory was accurate. “I don’t think so. From what I can remember the other girl seemed quite happy to see Veronika, as if she missed her.”
“I take it Veronika wasn’t the same?”
He laughed harshly. “No, she seemed to want to get out of there very quickly. I remember now — she took the next day off work to run errands. Now I know what she was really doing. She was planning her getaway.”
“Sounds like it. If what you’re saying is true, it sounds like this girl could have had the means to blow her cover. I’m surprised she wasn’t angry. I mean she invested nearly two years into her scam and just when it was going to pay off, someone comes along and stuffs it up.”
“If she was angry she didn’t show it. Not in front of me. I guess she didn’t want to give me any reason to suspect she was about to do a runner.” He sighed and rubbed his hands together. “We had a good, comfortable relationship. I wouldn’t say it was off-the-charts, out-of-this-world feelings — not like our relationship. But an engagement seemed the next logical step.”
Phoebe wondered if Marco realized what he’d just said.
“Well at the end of it all, it seemed running into someone who could potentially have blown her cover was all that was needed to send her on her way. If you ever see that girl again you’ll have to thank her.”
“Yeah, I guess you could be right.” He sighed and his shoulders sagged. “I can’t believe I never made the connection before how that simple social interaction changed everything.”
Phoebe sidled closer to him on the bed and laid her head on his shoulder. “You’ve probably never really examined the whole situation well before. You’ve blocked the relationship out of your mind. Now enough time has passed to give you a bit more rational perspective on the whole sorry situation.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
They sat quietly for a few minutes. Marco was absentmindedly rubbing his fingers over her hand that rested on his thigh. Phoebe tried not to squirm and give away that his gentle touch was causing her body to ignite. Even though she wanted to comfort him, it seemed a little shallow to jump him just after he’d shared his inner darkest secret.
Phoebe could understand why he wouldn’t run around and tell everyone what had happened. She had felt stupid when John had run out on her. So many people had warned her that he wouldn’t hang around for long. But she’d refused to listen.
With Marco it was different. From what he had told her, no one picked up that Veronika was playing him.
“How did you explain to everyone when Veronika disappeared?”
“What everyone always says, that we broke up.”
“And they all accepted that? Surely some of them knew that you guys were planning to live together.”
“Only a couple knew we were about to take that next step. It’s only Alex that knows the full story.
There was something that was niggling in her mind. “How did you know she was faking her identity? You said she just left and took your money.”
“Well, as I said, when I reported the theft of the money to the police, they couldn’t really do anything to recover the funds. So in the end I decided to employ a private investigator. Even though she’d stolen from me, I was still concerned that maybe she had been held under duress and had to take the money. That it wasn’t her choice to leave me. The investigator was the one who uncovered that she had falsified her identity.”
“He wasn’t able to find her?”
“He thought he might have been on to something, but it turned out the lead he had was a false one and led to nothing. In the end I decided it wasn’t worth the money to continue. She had covered her tracks so well. Now I wonder if she didn’t have someone to help her. She’s probably off running a scam on someone else right now.”
Phoebe reached up and pulled Marco’s face down to hers. She placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Thank you for sharing — I know it was hard to bare yourself to me. But it had to be shared. If we are going to move on and try and build our relationship, you needed to have shared this with me.”
“I know, but it doesn’t make it any easier to swallow how gullible I’d been.”
“I have to ask this though. This is such a major part of your past. It’s molded you to become the person you are today. Is this why you can’t fully trust me? Do you think I’ll do something like this to you? Are you afraid that if you give me everything, I’ll take it from you?”
His hesitation was all she needed to confirm her suspicions. He may have let slip that the relationship they shared was better than the one he shared with Veronika, but she’d never be fully his partner. He would never give himself totally to her. She would never be number one with him. “Your silence says it all. It hurts that you could think so little of me. I’m not Veronika, Marco. I’m nothing like her.”
“I know,” he said quietly. “I know you’re not her. I will concede that her actions may have influenced me in the past. But I’m changing; I’m realizing all that I’m missing out on. Give me time, Phoebe; please tell me you’ll give me time to work through this. It’s hard to trust again, especially after the woman you gave your heart to turns out to be a fraud, but I really am trying.”
She thought about what he said. Was she doing any different to him? John had burned her and she was worried Marco was going to do the same. She hadn’t fully given herself to him. The time to learn to trust each other had come.
“I can understand, but I have to ask — would you have told me of your own free will about what Veronika had done?”
“I know you want me to tell you that I would’ve told you all about Veronika. The honest answer is — as it was when we first started this conversation — I’m not sure. Somehow I think, deep down, I would’ve told you. I know to have the type of committed relationship others around us have, honesty is what makes it so strong. This was too big to keep from you. I struggled to find the courage to share this part of my past with you, but I could never seem to find the right time to say anything to you about it.”
It wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear but she had to appreciate his honesty with her. “I have to hope that there is some truth in what you’ve said tonight. That eventually you’ll open yourself up to all that life can offer you.”
“Thank you.”
Phoebe yawned. Everything she’d experienced emotionally over the last couple of days was catching up with her. “I think it’s time to call it a night.”
His answer was to take her lips in a soft kiss. She tried to hold herself stiffly but found it impossible. She let herself sink into the embrace.
What started off as a simple kiss quickly escalated into something more. Her body was screaming at her to pull at his shirt and feel the warm flesh beneath her hands. To have that sense of completion the moment he entered her.
Her body might’ve wanted it, but her mind was telling her to be cautious. She knew they had no problem in the lovemaking department. It wa
s communicating their thoughts and wishes that they seemed to have an issue with.
He placed another kiss on her forehead. “Goodnight, sweetheart. Thank you for giving me a push when I needed it.”
“Goodnight, Marco. And I agree — I don’t want there to be any secrets between us.”
“Sweet dreams,” he murmured as he closed the door softly behind him.
Phoebe stared at the closed door, her body humming with suppressed desire. Even after the last hour they’d spent talking, in her mind, they still had such a long way to go before they could really call their relationship a true partnership.
Was she expecting too much? What if this was as good as it was going to get? Would it be enough?
CHAPTER 13
Phoebe rolled over again and stared at the glowing red digits of her clock. She’d not managed any sleep since Marco had walked out of her room. Her mind kept going over everything he’d told her about his past relationship, and the slip in his conversation about how their relationship was different and — dared she hope — more special than the one he’d shared with Veronika?
She groaned at the memory of the kiss he’d given her when they’d said goodnight. How she’d wanted him to take over and make her forget everything, and just feel. There were only a couple of rooms separating them. A few steps and she could be in his arms. Tempting as it was, not all problems could be solved by having sex.
She gave up on sleeping and got up to get herself a drink from the kitchen. Maybe that small amount of activity would tire her out. She laughed to herself at the absurdity of the thought.
Phoebe stood in the hallway. She knew which direction to go to get to the kitchen, only she found herself walking in the opposite direction, towards the guest room where Marco was sleeping. Her will power to stay away from him was non-existent. He called to her in the most basic way a man called to a woman.
As she got to the room she was surprised to see that the door was open. A soft glow from the full moon gave the room an ambient luminosity. She paused and looked at the form lying on the bed. The sheets where wrapped around his legs, as if he’d been tossing and turning as much as she had.
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