by Ashley Frost
“I’ll bond with Rayse tonight,” she said. “I can’t make him suffer any longer.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
Dragons are not as attuned to soul magic as human magic wielders. There are accounts of strong human magic bloodlines in the western jungles of Ocharia and the caves in Falron. This is strange, considering how soul magic originates from ancient dragon tongue itself. One would assume dragons invented the magic because the art requires dragons’ language. Hence, the beasts should be the masters at it. The truth is quite contrary, however.
“Where do you think he is, Nanili?” Constance asked.
Two nights. Two long, agonizing nights had passed without Rayse returning. She couldn’t eat, sleep, or think straight. The more she waited, the more she believed the next time she met him, he’d be injured beyond recognition. Fraser’s current vegetative state served as a constant reminder to her of what might happen to Rayse.
Nanili slowly turned her head to look at her. “I don’t know.”
“There must be a clue.”
“I know as little as you. Dragons fly wherever they wish to, and Gaia is a big place.”
Constance licked her lips. “Do you want to come here and sit? You must be tired standing up all the time.”
“I cannot feel,” Nanili said.
Constance sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear. Why was she bothering trying to make small talk with the mishram? It was akin to talking to a sentient wall who only gave obvious, boring answers. She studied the mishram. If not for her pale, bluish skin and dullness, Nanili would be considered quite a radiant woman. The mishram had fine, sharp features, large eyes and a dainty lip—features most, dragons and humans alike, would consider attractive.
“Do you eat?” she asked.
“I do not have a need to,” Nanili said. “So, I don’t.”
“Where do you come from?” Constance found herself slightly intrigued by the mishram. She didn’t think to talk to Nanili much before, but now that Rayse was gone, she needed something to distract herself and fill the void.
“I simply came to be.”
“No, I mean. Do you have parents? Where were you born?”
“I simply came to be.”
“Um, well. Let’s try this. Where were you before you joined the dragons?”
“Nowhere.”
“Nowhere? But that’s not possible. You must have had a childhood, or a past.”
Nanili didn’t respond. Constance sighed. The conversation wasn’t going anywhere, and the mishram didn’t seem keen on elaborating. She had to distract herself with something else.
Then she remembered the hare and the spell she captured the animal for in the first place.
She had been too bothered by what Greta had told her about the troubling mating process. She forgot she had a way to find Rayse all along. Hastily, Constance stood, then rushed… rushed where? Where did she put the animal? The last time she saw it was at the infirmary. Hopefully, Greta took care of the creature for her. She skipped work the day before because of feeling sick from worry.
“Nanili, you didn’t happen to see a bunny, did you?”
The mishram didn’t say a word, but walked away. Well, that was rude. Constance sat still for a few minutes, waiting. Nanili came back with the same box Constance had put the hare into. Goddess be damned. Was the poor animal inside that box the entire time?
“Greta asked me to take it home and feed it,” Nanili said.
Constance swallowed. “You didn’t think to put it in a larger enclosure?”
“I was not—”
“—you weren’t instructed to.”
“Yes.”
“Do you mishram only do things if you’re instructed to?”
“Yes.”
She rubbed her temples, feeling sorry for the animal. She laid the box down and opened it. A horrible stench hit her. The hare’s nose twitched. The animal breathed, but barely. “You poor, poor thing,” Constance said, shaking her head and lifting it up by its chest. There weren’t enough breathing holes in the box, and it had not much space to move. Its hind legs were covered by its own feces.
The hare was likely suffocating from the putrid, thin air for far too long.
“You fed it?” Constance asked.
“Three times a day,” Nanili replied.
“And you didn’t let it out, or clear the box?” She raised a finger. “Wait, don’t answer. I know exactly what you’re going to say.”
The mishram didn’t respond, as instructed.
Constance grinded her teeth against each other. Part of her was mad at Nanili for being so heartless. But the mishram couldn’t be blamed—Nanili had no soul to care for other creatures with. The person she should be the angriest at was herself. She let herself drown in sadness and worry for two whole days and forgot about the creature entirely. She cursed herself for being so pathetic. Her past self had begun to take away too much from what Eduard had taught her. Her father gave her a will to live. She was supposed to keep her chin up, be resilient, and look for life’s meaning in the care of others. She couldn’t even bring herself to care for a hare the past two days. Where had her values gone?
She set the hare down and said, “Es rea misreagou.” She hesitated before willing the hare’s soul to move. Watching it suffer made her want to make up to it somehow, but it was already dying, and ending its suffering was probably the more humane thing to do. Plus, she had collected the creature to use in the spell. It had to die, anyway. “Kisla misreagou.”
She watched the glowing light as it spun over her hands. She recited the long spell in her mind, having read it out loud plenty of times from her spell book. Did she really want to find out what was happening to Rayse? What if all she’d see was a dead body lying on the rocks? She’d rather hear of the bad news than see his fate for herself. It’d be too much to bear.
She clenched her jaw and steeled her resolve. She had to go through with it. She had already wasted an animal’s life.
“Visio la provoto, spiristia von jora, mansee tempoesa ictu spatius liacat. “
She prayed her chant was correct. A mere mispronunciation would render the souls she had just sacrificed useless. The dragon language she chanted translated loosely to creating a minor breach in space using the spirits. It allowed her to see whomever she wanted.
The bright and dull souls compounded on themselves. Then they disappeared within the blink of an eye. She sat in front of the empty space, stunned. Had she performed the spell wrongly? It was a spell that required particularly strong magic. Maybe the hare’s soul wasn’t enough? It had been on the verge of death, after all.
She was getting up from her kneeling position when a black shroud enveloped her. It trapped her in a sea of blindness. The fog felt cold, like morning mists. She reached out to the misty wisps.
A vision of Rayse appeared. He was in his human form, stalking through a cave. He was still alive. She smiled the second she saw his figure, but when she saw the state he was in, the smile dropped. Scars covered his body. His tan skin was almost hidden by splatters of blood.
A bearded figure emerged from the shadows. The vision wasn’t clear enough so Constance couldn’t see his face. A group of women cuddled, bruised, with each other at the back of the cave.
Was Rayse trying to hurt those women?
No, that can’t be, she thought.
“You chased us off long ago,” the shrouded figure said. “You sent your men back because they’ve done your job. Why are you trying so hard to stop me? You’re outnumbered.”
Rayse laughed darkly. “I was outnumbered. Now it’s just you.”
She could make out dead men lying all over the place. Were they Rayse’s victims?
The figure continued, “I simply asked to keep these women. You didn’t have to get half your wing ripped off.”
Rayse growled. “You’re smuggling women as goods just for petty money.”
“Sometimes it’s easier to just buy ale and money is needed to gamble.
”
“You’re despicable. “
“What’s despicable about selling livestock?”
She saw Rayse’s fingers stretch into sharp, black talons. The other figure began to morph into a dragon as well. Could he fight covered with blood? Would he be safe?
The vision ended there and that was the last she heard of that conversation.
The image of him faded away too quickly. The fog sucked in on itself, disappearing as soon as the vision fully faded. She breathed in. He was protecting those women. It wasn’t that she was getting special treatment. He wasn’t the monster.
She had misjudged him all along.
That realization made tears fall. She was right to love this man. Her soul wasn’t lying to her. He protected her and the women of their clan from the true monsters. Rayse was far from the beast she thought him to be.
She had wronged him. She had made him go through countless nights of high fevers and unrest because of her bad judgment. Blindly, she had likened him to the men of her past when he was nothing like them.
At least she knew he was still alive, but he had to come home soon or he wouldn’t last for much longer.
She looked at the dead hare lying on the ground. She cupped its lifeless forms in her hands. “We should give it a burial,” she said to Nanili. It wouldn’t mean anything. The hare had no soul anymore and no one to care for it. It is a gesture of caring, she lied to herself. Maybe she just needed a way to distract herself from Rayse.
***
The full moon hung with a bluish glow in the sky.
“I should probably head back to work tomorrow,” she said, with Nanili standing beside her. She knew she was most likely talking to herself, but she pretended the mishram bothered to listen. “No use staying at home like some helpless fool. He’ll come back when he comes back. Rayse promised he wouldn’t leave me.”
She wanted to apologize for being so foolish. Maybe he had given up on her?
No, that was the silly child in her speaking. Rayse would never. More importantly, he had to be safe. His blood-covered form remained imprinted in her mind like a scar on a tree bark.
She stood up from the straw chair she had brought outside. What would waiting at the doorstep do? It wasn’t like it’d make him come home any earlier. All it served to do was make her shiver.
Just before she entered the house, a black figure stalked in the shadows.
Run, run, run, her mind told her. Her past made her wary of figures in the dark. But there was a sense of familiarity with this one. She kept her ground, fighting her instincts, which were trying to do everything they could to make her flee.
Rayse stepped out into the light.
Her heart melted. She had nothing to fear.
It had only been two days, but the worry caused by looking at Fraser’s state and hearing Greta’s statements made the wait feel like an eternity.
“Rayse, you’re—”I have so much to tell you. I have to apologize—”
He caught her in his arms in a tight embrace. Before she could speak anymore, his lips crashed into hers. His kiss was so delicate and warm. It made her heart tighten. He was back, safe and sound and hers. He smelled like blood, and was most likely injured, but at least he breathed and she could make it up to him for having to endure so much.
He pulled away, only slightly, and wiped a tear from her cheek. He looked… angry? “I received a message from one of the reporting warriors. Greta sent a letter. She told me about the attack the other night. I got back as soon as I could. I was foolish to think you’re safe here. I thought my clan members would protect their femriahl.”
“Femriahl?” she asked, not knowing what the term meant.
“Ancient dragon language for dragon wife. We use it to name the leader’s mate. Well, The clan isn’t used to the term, and I’m not enforcing it because it’s not official yet. I can’t wait to call you my femriahl, though the time will come soon. Are you hurt?” He frowned, then tipped her chin from side to side, inspecting her for wounds. “I’m going to kill those two bastards.”
She shook her head, laughing. She didn’t care if he seemed mad. He was mad in front of her. It meant he was safe. “I’m not. You shouldn’t worry about me. What about you? Look at you. You’re covered in red.”
“Most of it isn’t mine.”
He kissed her again, filling her coldness with warmth. She soaked in the heat of his presence. The winter in the mountains melted away when he was around.
“Then what about these wounds?” She placed her fingers around a reddish gash on his arm, making sure she did so delicately.
“Minor.”
They didn’t look minor at all. Most of them were beginning to heal on their own, but nearly both arms were covered with scratches. Some of them looked deep enough to cause considerable pain.
She took hold of his hand. “Let’s go inside and clean you up. We don’t want you to suffer from an infection. Having blood all over you makes you harder to embrace. Rayse, I have so much to tell you. I’m so sorry for hurting you like that.”
“Never be sorry for such a thing, love.”
“I thought you were like him —one of them. I saw you protecting those helpless women. I’ve wronged you. I thought you were the one attacking them.” Her body quivered as she spoke. The gravity of her emotions weighed on her. “I was afraid of you for nothing at all.”
His face didn’t indicate his response. His expression darkened, his thoughts circling in his mind.
“Are you mad?”
“No, not at all, love. I’m just angry. Angry at the man who hurt you so much to make you distrust our gender so much.” Then, a mild smile cracked on his lips. “Does this mean you trust me, now? Are you ready to mate?”
She blushed, too shy to respond. Grabbing his hand, she turned away and pulled him indoors.
“How did you see me?” Rayse asked.
“A spell I learned from one of the books.”
“Your talent is showing,” he said, pleased.
“Are they alright now? The women?”
“I dropped them off at a nearby village to let them find their own ways home. They won’t have to worry about Taleohan the Plunderer anymore. He’s taken care of.”
She nodded, understanding what was implied. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For saving them. For being the man I hoped you’d be.”
“I was simply doing my job. I can’t let ruffians and thugs, dragon or not, cause chaos with whomever they can push around in my territories. The villages I worked so hard to support would all be burned down if I turned my head away from them.”
“Thank you anyway,” she said, clenching her hand over his tighter.
The house was so much more inviting after Rayse’s arrival. Mere moments ago, with only Nanili as company, she thought the orange candles were too dim and the walls reminded her of a prison. This time around, she thought the candles provided a nice ambient and the walls gave them a cozy space.
Nanili had fetched her a towel while she got a bucket of water from a well. The well would have frozen over if not for the rocks being dragon stone. Back in the village, during winter, they had to heat ice or rely on the occasional ale to quench their thirst.
She turned her thoughts to Rayse, musing that such warm thoughts returned to her again. Ever since she arrived in Dragon Keep, she had to constantly face a darker version of herself. It was better now that Rayse returned. She focused as she cleaned his wounds.
Rayse kept a placid face, but she could see his jaw tense and his eyes twitch. “Do you want me to stop?” she asked, dabbing a towel on a scratch. She had kept some of Greta’s sparroweed solution at home just in case she needed to use it.
“Let’s get it done and over with.”
She had wiped most of the blood off of him a few minutes ago. It was an awfully intimate moment between them. She could feel his eyes on her as she worked over him. It made it hard for her to keep her attention. Rayse was han
dsome in a rugged way, even when covered with blood.
“Did I ever mention how beautiful you are?” he said, almost absentmindedly.
Her breath caught in her throat. “No, actually.”
“Well, you’re gorgeous.” He took a lock of hair into his fingers. “Every night when I have you in my arms, I think about how lucky I am to have the most beautiful woman in the world as my mate.”
Her fingers shook, and she accidentally pressed too hard on one of his injuries. He finally showed his pain by sucking in air through his teeth. “Sorry!” She pulled the towel back. “I wasn’t being careful enough.”
“It’s nothing.”
He’s good at hiding his weaknesses, she remembered Greta saying. Every waking moment, Rayse is likely holding back from forcing himself on you.
Even now? When he gazed upon her not lustfully, but tenderly?
“You don’t believe me?” he asked.
“Hm?” Her head shot up.
“That you’re beautiful.”
She licked her lips. “Not me. I’m not considered one of the pretty girls back in my village. I don’t spend the time bothering to dress up like they do.”
“I don’t care about the way you dress. I love you for you. It’s not your clothes that matter.“ A smirk brushed the side of his lips. “Besides, I’d much prefer seeing you with your clothes off.”
“Oh… um,” she said, feeling a strange, tightening sensation in her belly. Her cheeks flushed. She didn’t know whether it was the heat of lust or embarrassment. How could he say things like that so easily? He didn’t even hesitate when uttering out those words.
She studied his black eyes, his strong jaw, and his slightly crooked nose. Gods, he was perfect. How could she have been afraid of him? Despite how gorgeous he was, the signs of him not getting enough rest showed. His eyes shot red and his lips were chapped. She shouldn’t have held back from him all these weeks. From the start, she should have given herself to him.
“Rayse… let’s…”
He raised a brow at her.
“We should mate. I don’t want to make it hard on you anymore. I… I think I’m ready.”