by Danni Roan
"I'm sorry for being so dense, but I just don't understand."
"Some people know right from the first moment they meet that they're meant to be together, others fall in love over time based on a mutual attraction, but others build on a foundation of friendship and mutual respect."
"When did you know?" Lexi asked, curiosity warring with concern in her mind.
"One night he kissed me," Dora said, her voice somehow sounding dreamy. "He would walk me home from the school house each night to be sure I was safe, and when he stopped at the door he leaned in and kissed me."
Lexi squirmed inside, somehow hoping that the next words Reg's mother spoke would answer all of her questions.
"It felt like the whole world had disappeared, leaving the two of us adrift in an empty universe." The woman's quick eyes took in the look of shock on the pretty James daughter's face, confirming her suspicions that her son had indeed kissed the girl.
"Oh." Lexi's response spoke volumes as she turned and exited the room.
Lexi was chewing her lower lip again, a sure sign something was on her mind, and yet she hadn't spoken to Reg all morning. He could not help but wonder what his mother had said to the girl the night before.
Squinting his eyes into the darkness of the dawning morning, he watched Old Billy hand his mother up into the seat of the chuck wagon, then scrabble up beside her on the bench before clicking to his team and starting the long drive home to the Broken J.
Silence accompanied the small caravan as the still sleepy travelers started off on their four-day trek.
Lexi absently swung her leg over Gabe's saddle and kicked the big bay gelding into motion. She had spent a sleepless night thinking about what Mrs. Ogden had said, the questions rolling repeatedly in her brain like a tumble weed.
Could someone really know from just a kiss that they were truly meant to be together? It didn’t make sense. Did she feel differently about Reg after the kiss? Was it safe to continue with the experiment at all? Could friendship be the basis of love?
Even after looking at the problem from all angles, she was no closer to a satisfactory answer. Looking up, she saw Reginald tagging along beside the chuck wagon as the morning sun began to rise behind them.
The warmth of the early morning sun on his back began to ease some of the tension in Reg's shoulders as he continued to mull over the problem of the kiss. It had all been so simple in the beginning. Lexi had a question and together they could answer it. That is how learning worked. If you had a problem, you applied intellect to it until you found a solution.
"It doesn't seem to be working though," he whispered to the empty morning as he fell further behind the wagons and other riders.
"What you doin' all the way back here?" Eric's voice startled Reg as he approached on his little mule.
"Just thinking."
"What you thinkin' about?" the boy persisted.
Despite his troubled thoughts, the young man chuckled. "Too many things to count, I think. What are you doing all the way back here?"
"Me and Scooter like to look for anything interesting when we're on the trail," the boy replied, patting his scraggly mount affectionately.
"And what do you find interesting?"
"Hm," the boy thought a moment before replying, "sometimes we only see a jack rabbit, or maybe an antelope in the distance, but then sometimes we see a buffalo moving along toward a small herd. Once I even saw a fox slinking into a clump of trees."
"All that, huh?"
"Yep, Pa and Ma don't mind as long as I stay close enough to see everyone."
"Did you see anything interesting today?"
Eric's big smile made it obvious that he had. "Yep, see this?" Slowly he pulled a silver coin from his pocket. "I found this by some bushes, and then this alongside of the trail." He opened his other hand and showed Reg an old arrowhead.
"It was near that field of corn a ways back. It looks old."
"May I?" Reg asked, reaching toward the item.
"Sure." Eric dropped it in Reg's outstretched hand.
"That does look pretty old," he said, turning the item in his hand. "I'll tell you what, you leave this with me for a bit and I'll fix it up on a rawhide string so you can wear it for good luck, what do you say?"
"That sounds just grand," the boy said cheerfully. "But right now I think we'd better catch up with everyone else." He turned his bright blue eyes toward the group of wagons and riders that we quickly fading into the distance, before leaning over his mule’s neck with a sharp "yaw!" and springing in to a gallop.
Reg pushed his much larger mount into an easy lope, keeping pace with the boy on the speckled blue roan mule.
Keeping an eye on Eric, Reg didn't see the rider who had turned back along the trail to check on them, so when he lifted his eyes and saw Lexi coming his way he was startled by the feelings rising in his chest.
Lexi smiled as she approached Reg and her nephew as they hurried to catch up to the Broken J crew, but her smile faltered at the surprised look on Reg's face. Perhaps he was not pleased to see her this morning, and not for the first time she wondered if the kiss had ruined their friendship.
"Miss Lexi," Reg said formally, tipping his hat to her as she fell in beside him, matching her horse’s pace to the easy, ground-covering lope of his.
"Good morning," she replied, her feelings somehow subdued, muddled.
The trio rode on in silence, quickly catching up to the group and slowing their horses. Eric waved and trotted up to the front of the line to ride along his father's big red wagon that was overflowing with supplies.
"He looks so small next to that contraption," Lexi mused, "and Scooter seems like a pony alongside the Clydesdales."
"He sure is a cute fella," Reg agreed.
"You should have seen him when he first arrived. He was no bigger than a minute, now look how he's grown."
"I guess that's life," Reg postulated. "Things have a way of growing up around you."
Lexi was quiet for so long that Reg thought the morning’s conversation was over. Before he had always enjoyed their long silences, but today it felt strained.
"Miss Lexi," he finally spoke, "I hope every thing’s still alright between us."
"Why wouldn't it be?" Lexi asked her eyes large and worried.
"Well from what I gather, some people think that sharing a kiss changes everything between two people."
"You haven't told anyone, have you?" Lexi's voice sounded raw.
"No, I haven't. Have you?"
"Oh my, no!"
Silence filled the space between them as their mounts ambled across the prairie amicably.
"Have you had any time to think about, well you know?" Lexi asked, feeling embarrassed and intrigued all at the same time.
"Well, I did manage to make a few notes last night," Reg admitted, sneaking a glance at her from under his hat.
"Do you think we have enough data to complete the evaluation?" Lexi studied Reg's face, hoping he would give something away.
"I don't know, but we have enough to make a start." Reg could detect no change in Lexi. Surely if the kiss had affected her, he would be able to tell. Perhaps he was the only one who felt anything from the experience.
Lexi hung her head as she watched her companion. His expression never once changed from contemplative, his ears never even turn red, a clear indication he was feeling some strong emotion. It was obvious that he hadn't reacted to the kisses the same way she had.
"Well, I suppose I should compile my own notes and then we can compare them," she said, a strange hollow feeling settling inside her chest.
"Alright," Reg said, keeping his voice even so as not to betray his thoughts. He didn't want to make Lexi feel uncomfortable with his feelings, so he would just have to tough it out. Maybe a little distance would make that easier.
"I think I'll ride on up with Billy and Ma for a while," he said, then kicked Babe into a brisk trot, leaving the bemused girl behind him.
Billy twisted in h
is seat and cast a glance back to where Reg was talking to Lexi as they ambled along the trail. "So whata' ya think?" he asked his companion.
"I don't know what to think at the moment," Dora said evenly. "I know Reg and I know he likes that girl, but he can't understand what it means and until he figures it out, he won’t do anything about it."
"To be honest I never figured he'd be interested in her, seein' how his brother already married her twin," Billy stated.
"Why? What does that have to do with anything?" Dora shot an annoyed look at the old man.
"Well, what are the odds of both yer sons likin' twin girls?" Billy asked, a snap in his voice. "Who woulda' thunk it?"
"Oh, I see what you mean," Dora finally caught on, “though I’ve heard of brothers or even sisters marrying twins.”
The wagon rolled and bumped over the rutted path as the two passengers considered the situation.
"Of course who would have thought that a group of devious old men would have gotten my sons out here on false pretenses?" Dora's comment made Billy bristle.
"It ain't like we's holdin' a gun to their heads," he barked. "We just wanted them girls to be settled is all!" He snapped his mouth shut with such force that his false teeth clicked, making the horses step into a trot.
Dora Ogden grinned at the grizzled little man sitting beside her on the bench seat as the wagon picked up speed; she liked getting him all riled up.
"Oh, don't go getting all worked up," she chided, "It's just a strange thing how all of these men seemed to be exactly what the doctor ordered, or in this case the cattleman."
Billy shot a suspicious look at the large-boned woman next to him, and then eased his chunky team into a more comfortable gate.
"I reckon I kin see your point," he finally conceded. "I know one thing, sure as shootin' though and that none of us took this lightly. Josh and all us old timers went round and round on it and it took weeks to write letters to his brothers so's they was just right."
Glancing at Dora once more before turning his attention back to the trail, he added, "An' we done a heap of praying, too."
The gentle clink of harness, and soft clomp, clomp of the horses’ feet filled the ensuing silence as the morning sun crept higher in the sky.
"It was pastor Jedidiah who suggested my boys come work here," Dora finally said. "Perhaps he knew something that we didn't."
"Darn-tootin,'" Billy added with a wink.
Dora's laughter filtered into the warm fresh air, brightening the day.
Chapter 13
Reg Ogden paced Babe toward the old green chuck wagon, his mind still reeling over the problems kissing Lexi had created, when the soft titter of his mother's laugh caught him by surprise.
As he passed the obscuring white canvas cover of the wagon and came abreast of its passengers, he shot a confused glance at his mother, but before he could even ask what was so funny, Billy took one look at him and started laughing as well.
"Has everyone around here gone completely 'round the bend?" he asked, still staring into the wagon, which only made his mother and Old Billy laugh harder.
Shaking his head, he turned Babe toward where Deeks, Walt, and Stephens rode as outriders at the front of the procession, watching for dangers or hazards of any kind.
He’d had enough confusion for one day. He’d see if someone could give him something useful to do.
The next few days on the trail seemed awkward and stilted to Reg, and he found that more and more often he was pushing ahead of the main group to find solitude. Yet being alone with his thoughts brought little relief. He mulled the problem of the kiss, and then worried that not talking to Lexi would make things worse.
The young man tried to find distractions by watching for anything interesting on the trail or making the arrowhead necklace for Eric. Sometimes he’d ride along with Hank and Fiona but the looks that Cathleen gave him from her perch on a row of sacks and crates in the back of the wagon always gave him a start. She looked at him from her dark eyes as if she held knowledge that no one else was privy to and soon he was sure that the grin Benji offered him every day had hidden meaning as well.
This whole situation was getting out of hand. There had to be a solution to the whole mess. The worst part was that he missed riding next to Alexis and talking about everything. He’d just topped a ridge when he caught a glimpse of Lexi’s big bay moving toward him.
Beneath him, Babe nickered at her stable mate, causing vibration to travel through his knees where they gripped the saddle skirt. A moment later he watched as Lexi heeled her horse in his direction.
“You’re rather far afield aren’t you?” the young woman asked. He noted that her usual smile was missing.
“Just scouting. It’s a much quieter ride back than it was on the way out.”
Lexi’s lips quirked and he couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, it was quite an adventure, but I’d rather never do it again.”
Reining his mare toward trail again, he chuckled. “I couldn’t agree more.”
“I haven’t seen much of you the past two days.” Lexi offered, moving Gabe in next to Reg’s mount. “I hope everything’s alright.”
Reg noted how Lexi dropped her eyes on the last comment, making him feel like he’d swallowed a lead weight. He didn’t like seeing her unhappy and it was obvious she was.
“Just trying to be useful,” he replied lamely.
Silence surrounded them as they meandered toward their companions.
Taking a deep breath, Lexi looked at the young man riding next to her. His hat was pulled down low and she couldn’t see his features under its shade.
“Have you had a chance to think about our experiment?” she finally asked, forcing the words through a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.
“Some.”
“What, what do you think?”
They rode on for several minutes before he replied.
“I don’t know what to think, Lexi.” He paused, letting the muffle beats of the horses’ hooves match the rhythm of his heart. “Billy was telling me about his wife and things and it got my head all muddled.”
“Billy told you about his wife?” Lexi’s shock was evident in her tone. “I knew he was married once but he never talks about her.”
Reg looked at his companion, his eyes stormy with doubt.
“He told me about how kissing her was different than kissing anyone else. He said that when he kissed anyone else it was nice but not the same.”
Lexi’s furrowed brow was evidence that she was thinking.
“Your mother told me about the first time your father kissed her.”
“Really?”
“Yes, she said that they had just been friends and then he kissed her.”
Reg smiled. “I remember that story, or at least Pa’s side of it.”
Lexi looked at him curiously.
“Pa told me once that he followed Ma around and around but she never really saw him, so he finally decided to make her. He kissed her, showing her he wanted to be more than friends.”
“And that worked?” Lexi mused.
“Well I’m here, aren’t I?” Reg laughed.
Lexi smiled, enjoying the way they slipped back into an easy fellowship.
“I guess everyone is different,” she said absently. “Pa told me that the first time he ever laid eyes on Fiona’s mother he knew he’d marry her.” She was quiet again, thinking on the whole thing.
“I think it was different with my mother. She sort of just moved into his life and he couldn’t stand the thought of her moving back out.”
Reg shook his head. “Miss Lexi, I think everyone has a different story.”
“Yes, I guess so.”
For a long moment the two riders’ eyes locked, deep brown depths meeting a smoky gray-green gaze, as their horses plodded on.
A strange cold feeling settled in Lexi’s chest and she felt like she couldn’t breathe; she wanted to lean in and kiss the man beside her and run away all at the
same time. Why couldn’t things just go back to the way they had been?
Reg looked down into Lexi’s tumultuous eyes and his heart skipped a beat. He hated seeing her so conflicted. A silly kiss had ruined everything. He licked his lips thinking of the kisses, and part of him could not regret them, but he would not cause Alexis any more confusion. He’d pretend that everything was the same and everything would be fine.
“We’d best catch up with the wagons,” he said, his voice passive. “We’ll probably be home tonight.” And just like that the moment had passed.
“Oh, yes. It will be nice to be home,” she said, turning to look out across the prairie.
“I’m sure you’ll be happy to see your pa and catch up with Issy.”
“And you with Taylor. I know it’s only been a few days, but it seems like ages since we left.” For a moment, she was quiet again before she spoke. “Sometimes I feel sad for Mae; it must be so much worse for her living in Boston and being so far away.”
“Have you heard from her?” Reg asked, wondering about the youngest member of the James family.
“I think there’s a letter for Yeye in the mail, and I know Meg wrote, but we’ll open them at the ranch.”
“How’s Chen Lou doing with Mae gone? It must have been hard to let his great-grand daughter go all the way across the country.”
“It was hard for everyone, but I think it’s for the best. Mae has too much energy and she needs to learn to focus it.”
Reg smiled thinking of the petite sixteen-year-old girl with the sparkling eyes and jet-black hair. “I wish her the best. Your whole family means a lot to me,” he said honestly, realizing suddenly that it was more than true.
The rumbling of the wagons could be heard as they topped another small rise and saw their traveling party spread out along the trail.
A bright sun blazed in an azure sky, turning the long grasses of the prairie to shimmering gold as in the far distance, the Wind River Mountains thrust jagged peaks into the blue like a shadow spreading out and lengthening in the afternoon light. On the dusty trail, the bright red wagon rolled forward on dusty yellow wheels, while the browns of crates and burlap seemed to fill the bed uniformly punctuated only by the bright purple of Cathleen’s dress.