by Danni Roan
For a few beats, both girls were silent, before Isabella spoke. “How did it make you feel?” she asked quietly into the steam of the room.
“It felt wonderful, but my brain seemed to completely shut off and so I don’t know what to think.”
“Did it feel like your whole body was on fire?” Bella’s words were soft.
“Uh hm.”
Again, they were quiet. “Lexi, you’re going to have to deal with this at some point. You can’t just ignore it.”
“Why? If he doesn’t feel the same way I do, I’ll lose his friendship.”
“There are some things in life you can’t learn about in a book, Lexi. You have to follow your heart, even if it ends up broken.”
“But what about Reg’s heart? I have no right to go to him not understanding what I think.”
“Reg is a big boy, he’ll handle whatever comes.”
The sound of the door creaking open put a stop to their conversation as Fiona slipped into the warm space. “I told Hank I was not going back to our place until I had a bath,” she said, beginning to unbutton her dress.
“We’re just about done,” Lexi said, rising with a soft gurgle, stepping out of the bath and wrapping herself in a soft piece of toweling. “You go ahead and get into mine and I’ll add some more hot water,” she added, tucking the toweling in at her bosom and walking to the tiny wood stove to fetch a bucket.
A few minutes later, she was dressed and saying good night to her sisters before slipping out into the still night.
Still feeling restless, Lexi turned and walked around the house. She could see the big form of Hank sitting on one of the wooden rocking chairs he’d made for the back porch. At his feet Eric sat playing with the pup he called Hunkus, that Taylor had given him earlier that summer.
On quiet feet, she moved around the south side of the house, slipping past the side of the log structure where Deeks and Rachel lived, and noting the light in their window.
Molly, Taylor’s old dog, trotted up to her looking for companionship and she reached a hand down to the brown cur. “Hello, old girl,” Lexi said as she scratched the animal behind the ears, before moving on toward the barn.
The air was fresh and the wide-open sky twinkled down at her. It felt wonderful to be home and have the freedom to move about unaccompanied. A soft breeze rustled across the prairie carrying the scent of dried grass and sage, lifting her damp hair that hung loose to just below her hips. Yes, it was good to be home.
Molly nuzzling her leg made Alexis realize she’d come to a standstill in the middle of the barn yard. With a soft smile, she reached down to pat the old dog, and then moved off toward the barn.
The small door set in the big sliding doors of the barn squeaked as she opened it and she knew that Uncle Deeks would be out with an oil can tomorrow setting the hinges to rights. The smell of hay, straw and horse assailed her nostrils, sinking into her senses and easing the tension in her shoulders.
Although she and Isabella had never done as much work in the barn as her older sisters, there was still something comforting about the place. The smell of horse, their quiet presence and soft whinnies, always seemed so soothing.
Many of the horses that had been on the drive had been put up in the barn that night, and she walked toward the big box stalls on the right side of the barn that opened into the corral. Soft moonlight filtered into the barn, filling it with a gray glow.
In the box stall her baby sister’s pinto pony lifted her head and rumbled low in her throat as she stepped up to the railing. “Hello, Callie,” Lexi whispered into the hushed night.
The pony leaned out and rested her head against the girl. “You miss Mae don’t you?” she asked, rubbing the spot on the pony’s head under her forelock. “Don’t worry, she’ll be home before you know it.”
The pony nickered again, then lowered her head to sniff at Molly who had settled herself in the soft straw on the floor. Lexi smiled at the animals even as her soul sought comfort in their presence.
How had life gotten so complicated? she wondered. Learning was easy, but understanding how you felt about things, that was hard. She had thought getting to know the two men her father had brought to the ranch to grow wheat would be fun and adventurous, but now it was all so confusing.
Somewhere along the way, she had become friends with Reg. He was a good person, a hard worker, and someone whose curiosity and intellect matched her own. She had loved their discussions about books, on the prospects of growing wheat on the Broken J, and how the times were changing. She reveled in the fact that he didn’t seem to judge her based on society’s presumptions about women.
But then, she’d ruined the whole thing with that one kiss. Why did she have to let her curiosity get the better of her?
Pulling her wrap tighter around her shoulders, she turned to start back to the house only to see Reg standing in the doorway. For a moment she froze, not sure what to do or say.
"How do you feel about me, Lexi?" Reg asked, his hands thrust in his pockets, shoulders hunched. “I need to know.”
"I think..." Lexi's words were cut off as the young man stepped up to her, placing one hand on either side of her head, forcing her to look at him.
"Don't think Lexi, you think too much. Just feel, listen to your heart and tell me what it says." His voice was husky, unsure.
"I." She tried again, studying the depths of his gray-green eyes. "I." Her heart thundered in her chest, as her breath caught in her throat. He seemed to be looking into her soul, hoping for something. "I feel like I might be falling in love with you." Her reply was a whisper.
Lexi watched a slow smile spread across Reg's face, washing away the doubt and worry that had been there seconds ago. "Good." His words caressed her face as his lips lowered to hers for the kiss they had both been longing for.
For long minutes, it seemed that every thought that Alexis James had ever thought abandoned her. Her head seemed completely empty and her heart completely full for the first time in her life.
When Reg finally broke the intense embrace, she gazed up at him, a smile breaking across her face.
“All I’ve been able to think about these last few days is kissing you again,” Reg said gruffly. “I was afraid you didn’t feel the same way and I was too afraid to ask.”
“What changed your mind?” she whispered.
“I couldn’t take it anymore. I kept thinking about what Billy told me about his wife and what Ma told you about my pa. I had to take the chance.”
“I’m glad you did.” Wrapping her arms around his waist, Lexi snuggled close, breathing in the scent of him: he smelled of dust and leather, and something else that was all man.
His laugh vibrated through his chest and into her ear. “For two smart people, I’m thinking we’re not too bright,” he said, then pushed her away from him. “I guess sometimes you have to follow your heart, even if you don’t understand everything.” he added, bending to kiss her again.
With an effort, Reg broke the embrace and gazed down at the woman who had not only accepted his undying friendship but had stolen his heart. “We’d better go tell the family,” he said softly.
A bright twinkle entered Lexi’s dark eyes as she offered him a sly grin. “We can talk to them tomorrow,” she said before pulling him close for another kiss.
The sound of a gate latch clicking open made Lexi jump, and she and Reg blinked into the dark barn, watching as Scooter unlocked his stall and trotted out through the barn door.
“Scooter,” Eric’s long suffering voice could be heard from outside.
“Never mind, Eric,” Hank’s baritone echoed into the quietness. “You might as well let him follow us home. He’ll just come out again when he wants to, anyway.”
The family’s laughter drifted toward the young lovers, and Alexis smiled up at Reg, pulling him by the hand to peek through the doors at the little family.
By the light of a half-moon they could see Hank, his arm wrapped protectively around Fiona, w
alking down the lane that ran between the house and the barn, while Eric kept pace followed by a rangy, blue roan mule and a scampering puppy.
Lexi couldn’t help but giggle and Reg pulled her away from the door, smothering her mirth with kisses to ensure they weren’t caught canoodling in the barn.
After several minutes, he released her and still holding her hand, stepped into the night. Together they walked to the front porch, but instead of saying good night settled on the porch swing. Reluctant to let her go now that he knew she was truly his, Reg wrapped his arm around Lexi’s shoulders. She seemed to fit perfectly next to him. To his surprise, the girl entwined her fingers in his.
“Now what do we do?” Lexi asked
Reginald Ogden was quiet for so long Lexi was beginning to wonder if he’d even heard her. “I think it depends,” he finally replied. “We could keep quiet and find out where this leads, or we could get married.”
This time it was Lexi who took her time replying, but after a long time with nothing but the gentle squeak of the swing to interrupt she finally answered.
“Is this your way of asking me to marry you?”
“I guess it is,” Reg said smiling at her, “You don’t seem like the type who needs some fancy proposal. I thought presenting it to you as a choice would make more sense.”
Alexis James smiled up at the man beside her and snuggled in close. “I think I like that,” she said. “We can take our time or we can move forward.”
“Uh hm,” Reg’s agreement was so soft he thought the beating of his heart would drown it out as the blood rushed in his ears. He desperately wanted Alexis to say yes, but he didn’t want to rush her. This wasn’t they type of thing you did without thinking on it seriously.
Lexi let go of the hand she held and scooted along the seat of the swing, putting some distance between herself and Reg so she could think clearly.
“We do seem to get along well,” she finally offered, noting the worried expression on his face, “and we enjoy the same things.”
“That’s true,” Reg remarked, waiting to see where this was going.
“We like the same books, we enjoy learning new things and discussing things.”
Everything Alexis said was true, but was it enough to create a lasting bond between two people? Reg wasn’t sure, but in his heart he hoped that Lexi’s musing added up to the one thing he’d finally been able to accept. He loved Alexis James and wanted her to spend the rest of her life with him.
“And we seem to enjoy kissing each other,” the girl finished with a wicked giggle, making him smile despite his worry.
“If you ask me, that all adds up to the right formula for a marriage.” Her soft smile made Reg feel like he’d swallowed a chili pepper whole making him laugh softly.
“I love you, Alexis James,” he said as he leaned in for another kiss.
Lexi slipped silently into the house as Reg headed back to the bunkhouse. Her heart was beating so fast she thought it was going to pound right out of her chest, and yet she felt as if she were floating on clouds.
As she pushed the door closed as quietly as possible, she noticed that a light still burned in her father’s room. Knocking softly, she pushed his door open and peeked in.
Joshua James smiled up at his daughter as she peeked around his door frame. “Come on in, darlin’,” he called, gesturing with his good arm. Over the weeks since he had suffered the stroke, he’d gained a great deal of his strength back, but his left arm still didn’t work well.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked as she moved to his bed and sat down beside him. Her face was bright and her eyes nearly glowed with happiness and he knew what she would say.
“Pa, before I tell you, you need to know something.”
Joshua’s brows rose as he wondered what she had to say.
“Isabella and I have always known why so many new hands have been hired on at the Broken J over the past few years.”
Josh could feel his face heating. “You did, did you?”
“Yes, but it’s alright. You only ever wanted what’s best for us and we love you more for it, and for being strong enough to let us make our own mistakes along the way.”
Joshua smiled at his daughter, looking into her soft face, at the dark brown eyes and hair so much like her mothers. “Since the day each of you girls was born I have prayed for you. I’ve prayed that I would be a good father, that I’d be able to give you what you needed and that someday when I was gray our heavenly father would bring just the right person to love each of you.”
“I know what happened with my sisters can’t have been easy for you.” Lexi said, brushing a silent tear from her father’s cheek.
“No, some of the things your sisters put me and your family through would have turned my hair gray if it hadn’t been already.” He smiled, making Lexi laugh.
“Well I hope I haven’t caused you too much worry,” she finally confessed with a twinkle. “But I think that someone’s come for me now.”
Joshua James laid a work worn hand against his daughter’s pretty face. “I’m happy for you, Alexis. All I’ve ever wanted is for you and your sisters to be happy.”
“I am Pa. I really am.”
“Will you tell the rest of the crew tomorrow then?”
“Yes, Reg and I discussed it and we’ll make the announcement at breakfast tomorrow. Do you think that’s alright?”
“I think that’s fine, darlin’.”
Lexi kissed her father’s cheek as she rose to her feet. “Pa, thank you for letting us girls go,” she said, and slipped silently back out of the room.
Chapter 16
The next morning Alexis was up at the break of dawn. She couldn’t wait to see Reg and to make their big announcement, but one thing kept nagging at her as she dressed: what would Mrs. Ogden think?
Lexi slipped down stairs and into the kitchen quietly, and moving with great care, began preparing breakfast. The first order of business, as always, was to put on the massive pot of coffee for when the men came in from chores.
She had just pulled her apron over her head when the back door swung open and Reg stepped into the kitchen, a bright smile covering his face when he saw her. “You’re up early,” he whispered, stepping close for a quick kiss.
Lexi laughed at his mussed hair that somehow caught the light and flamed brighter than any candle.
“You go help with the chores,” Lexi chided, running her hair through his ruddy locks with a smile. “I’m going to whip up some pancakes.”
Smashing his hat back on his head, Reg grabbed another quick kiss, then ducked out the door into a new day as the door at the far end of the kitchen moved.
“Lexi?” Nona’s voice questioned as she stepped from her bedroom, tying a new apron around her waist. “Is that you?” she finished, looking up at her granddaughter.
“Yes, it’s me, Nona.” Lexi said stepping over and offering her grandmother a quick peck on the cheek.
“You’re up early.”
“Not really,” Lexi replied with a wink.
Bianca Leoné looked closely at the girl and did her best to hide her smile. Judging by the twinkle in Lexi’s eye, more happened on the trail that had been told the night before.
“I’ll get the bacon started,” the older woman stated, walking to the ice box. “You can get those cakes going.”
“Nona?” Lexi asked as she flipped another pancake, “How did you feel when Pa wanted to marry my mother?”
“I was happy.”
“What about grandpa?” Lexi continued, lifting the cake from the griddle and placing it on a plate.
“He was a little more skeptical. He expected Joshua to jump through all sorts of hoops to prove his love.”
“But not you?” Lexi paused to study her grandmother’s features.
“No, I could see that Cammy had fallen completely for the man, and it was obvious that he felt the same about her. She was crazy about your sisters as well.” Nona’s smile was mixed with sorrow.<
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“What changed Grandpa’s mind?” Lexi asked, adding another pancake to the rapidly growing pile.
“Josh did. He went to Texas and brought back those cows and put his back into making this place a thing that would last. He proved that he was in it for the long haul.”
Lexi laughed softly. “Sounds like Pa.”
“What sounds like Pa?” Isadoro quipped as he entered the kitchen, only to be answered with both woman bursting into peals of laughter.
“Women,” the wiry man grumbled before heading to the barn.
Breakfast started with a bang, the bang of the front door slamming and Fiona storming into the house. “If that man doesn’t stop molly-coddling me, I’m going to make him sleep in the barn,” she stormed as she entered the kitchen.
Nona blinked at her as she set the last cup of coffee on the table. Most of the members of the Broken J were present, including Eric and Mrs. Ogden; by then only Hank was missing.
Fiona plopped down on a long bench next to her son and eyed the food before here. A moment later, the front door banged again and everyone knew that Hank had arrived.
“Morning,” he said softly, looking around the room and squeezing his big frame in next to his wife, who scooted away from him.
Smiles were quickly suppressed as Joshua lifted his voice in prayer. “Dear Lord,” he began, “thank you for this food, and your many blessings to us all. Thank you that we can each trust in you to do the right thing and see us through no matter what. Amen.”
Hank Ballard lifted his gray eyes to the stark blue ones of his father-in-law and blushed crimson. “Thank you, sir,” the large man mumbled, turning to look at his plate now piled high with pancakes and bacon. He looked at his little wife who grinned up at him, and knew that once again he was forgiven.
The conversation turned to the work of the day, and jobs were passed out. Taylor and Bella were going to take Mrs. Ogden for a ride around the ranch and show her the new saw mill.