by Jude Watson
Knight disappeared.
Anakin was soon swallowed up by the darkness of the cave. Obi-Wan
could wait by the entrance, but he had only been to the cave once, years
ago, and he found his curiosity just as strong. His steps took him farther
into the cave. He was willing to lose sight of Anakin; he knew his Padawan
must face the cave alone. But he did not want him to get too far away.
He saw a shape move toward him. A tall Jedi, powerfully built but
still graceful. A rugged face with compassionate eyes.
"Master," he breathed. Qui-Gon smiled.
Obi-Wan's heart cracked. Joy rushed through him. Tears sprang to his
eyes.
"I have missed you."
Qui-Gon said nothing. He made a gesture across his throat, as though
he could not speak. His image, Obi-Wan saw now, shimmered faintly.
Suddenly, Qui-Gon whirled and his lightsaber was in his hand. He
struck again and again at an unseen enemy. Obi-Wan stumbled back, his hand
on the hilt of his lightsaber. He knew that this was not truly Qui-Gon,
that his Master was not in danger, but the impulse to help was so strong he
nearly drew his weapon.
Before he could do so, Qui-Gon suddenly staggered. Now he was facing
Obi-Wan. He saw the shock in his Master's eyes.
It was how he had looked when he'd received the death blow from the
Sith Lord.
"No!" Obi-Wan shouted. He could not relive that moment again. He could
not. This is not my test, Master. It is my Padawan's. Do not do this to me.
...
Qui-Gon fell to his knees. His eyes remained on Obi-Wan. The sadness
in his gaze tore into Obi-Wan, searing and hot.
The image disappeared, only to reappear a heartbeat later. Again, he
saw Qui-Gon double over. Again, he saw him sink to his knees. Obi-Wan was
as helpless to reach out as he'd been four years earlier. Was he being
taunted with his own failure to prevent his Master's death?
"No," Obi-Wan whispered.
Again and again, he was forced to relive Qui-Gon's slow dying. He
groped for calm but could not find it. All he could feel was pain. He raged
again at his helplessness. Trapped behind the energy bars, he had watched
his Master fall. It was the central event of his life. Why was he forced to
relive it here?
On his knees, Qui-Gon reached out to Obi-Wan. This time, the image did
not fade. Grief choked Obi-Wan as he took a half step toward his Master.
Something was different this time. Qui-Gon's eyes were not filmed with
pain. They were clear. They were holding a message. A warning. A plea. Obi-
Wan did not know,
"What is it, Master? What are you telling me?"
Qui-Gon shook his head helplessly. His hand trembled as he reached out
to Obi-Wan. His fingers could almost touch Obi-Wan's tunic. As they came
closer, the image dissolved into shimmering sparks of light.
Obi-Wan was so shaken he fell to his knees as Qui-Gon had. He felt the
dampness of his cheeks, marked by tears. He had been given a message, but
he could not decipher it.
All he knew was that he had just faced his greatest fear. Since Qui-
Gon's death, he had been afraid that he would let down Qui-Gon even as he
struggled to uphold his legacy. Was Qui-Gon warning him that he was in
danger of failing, after all?
CHAPTER 3
Visions and voices. Shadows and echoes. What was so hard about this?
Anakin strode confidently into the depths of the cave. Jedi appeared
and disappeared. Voices murmured at him to retreat, that he did not want to
face what he had come to face. That despite his connection to the Force, he
would never be a true Jedi.
Anakin shook off the voices. He knew the differences between things he
could fight and things he could not. Why be afraid of shadows?
Then he stopped dead. He saw himself.
He was seven or eight years old and wore the rough garments of a
slave. He sat in a corner by the cave wall, tinkering with an unseen
object. Anakin heard the sound of a bell. A musical sound, light and
pleasing.
Suddenly, the bell rolled directly toward him. He flinched and it
stopped at his feet. Blood poured from the opening and spilled over his
boots.
It isn't blood, he told himself. He could hear his racing heart pound
in his ears. Shadows and echoes. That's all it is.
He was relieved when the vision of himself disappeared. A moment later
a woman emerged from the darkness, her hair down around her shoulders.
Shmi.
"Mother. Mom - "
She did not hear him or see him. She ran straight past him. Tendrils
of hair stuck to her cheeks. Her face was shiny with sweat. The sweat of
terror. He smelled her terror, felt the air move his hair.
He turned, but she disappeared. Then when he turned forward, there she
was. She ran toward him again, her face stretched by horror.
This he could not bear. Anakin squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened
them again, another figure had joined Shmi. A huge man, more like a
creature than a human. Anakin could not see his face, which was in shadow.
He grabbed Shmi roughly and threw her to the ground like a pile of rubbish.
"No!" Anger pounded in him, and he rushed forward. He seemed to hit an
invisible wall and bounced back. The shadowy figure raised a hand to Shmi.
She curled up in a ball to absorb the blow. Her knees were drawn up and her
head was tucked down. There was something familiar about the posture that
caused dread to fill Anakin.
"No!" Anakin shouted.
Shmi looked directly at him for the first time. He saw the fear, the
terror. This seemed familiar to him as well, as though it were a memory
rather than a vision. But had he ever seen his mother afraid? Not that he
could remember.
He wanted to bury himself in her arms, feel her strength, but he could
not. He could not make the fear on her face go away. Was he seeing
something that had actually happened? Or was he seeing the future? At that
thought, his own fear rose.
Anakin felt the fear as a living thing, an oozing organism that filled
his body and threatened to choke him. He fought against it. Fear would make
him soft. He would make the fear hard. He would twist it and make it into a
weapon. A weapon of anger. Anger was productive.
Obi-Wan had told him to accept the fear. He could not do it. If he
breathed it in, it would fill his lungs and choke him. But anger he could
direct.
"I'll kill you!" he shouted to the shadowy figure. The shadowy figure
laughed.
"I will!" Anakin ran at the shadow and could not reach him. The vision
disintegrated into particles of light.
With a last despairing look, Shmi disappeared as well.
In frustration, Anakin slammed his hand against the cave wall. Blood
began to ooze from fissures.
You cannot save her, a voice said. No matter how many times you tell
yourself you will. It is a dream. She lives the nightmare.
"Stop," he begged. "Stop."
As if the cave itself had heard him, everything stopped. The cave wall
was smooth again. What had looked like blood was now just moisture. The<
br />
darkness fell around him like a heavy blanket.
Shakily, Anakin moved forward. He felt sweat trickle down his forehead
and cheeks. Ahead he saw a faint gleam on the floor of the cave.
"The crystals," a voice said.
He turned. It was Obi-Wan. His Master smiled at him. "It's time."
Anakin's step quickened. He leaned down to examine the cave floor. The
crystals grew in intricate formations. Even in the dark cave, they glowed.
He passed his hand over them without touching. He felt vibrations emanate
from them. Slowly, he chose the three that seemed to speak to him. To his
surprise, it was easy to break the pieces free. He placed them in the pouch
hanging from his utility belt.
"Before you begin, you must meditate," Obi-Wan said. "Go into a trance
state, Anakin. Cleanse your mind. Then your feelings will guide your
intent."
Anakin sat on the floor of the cave. He emptied the contents of the
pouch onto his lap. He held the three crystals in his palm. They had a
strange warmth.
Accessing the Force was not difficult for him, even now. He felt it
rise around him from the dirt and rocks and air, and especially from the
crystals themselves. He felt comforted by that sureness.
"Now begin." Obi-Wan's voice was soft.
His Master gave him a gentle, encouraging smile. But suddenly, Obi-
Wan's face changed. Strange markings covered his skin. Horns sprouted from
his bald head. The smile became a smirk, and Anakin saw blackness and evil.
It was Qui-Gon's murderer. Obi-Wan had described him in detail.
Anakin sprang to his feet, scattering the crystals.
"Did I startle you?" the Sith Lord asked. He began to circle around
Anakin. "Perhaps you need to work on those Jedi reflexes. You're almost as
clumsy as Qui-Gon."
Rage pumped through Anakin. Qui-Gon had risked so much to take Anakin
away. He had been the one to see that Anakin could be a Jedi Knight. Anakin
owed him everything. He reached for his training lightsaber, but it flew
out of his hand.
The Sith laughed. "A child's toy. Try this." He threw something at
Anakin. It was a fully fashioned light-saber, beautifully balanced, with an
austere hilt. Just the kind of lightsaber Anakin would make.
He activated it, and the laser glowed red.
"Why do you fear your anger?" the Sith Lord asked. In a casual
gesture, he activated his own double-edged lightsaber. "Why do you fear
your hate? I can feel it. You hate me. It is natural." He bared his teeth.
"After all, I gutted your friend like an animal."
With a howl torn from his belly, Anakin threw himself at the Sith.
Their lightsabers tangled. Their faces were close. He could smell the
Sith's foul metallic breath.
"You see?" Anakin's enemy purred. "You see what anger can do? It gives
you power. It is something you can use, like a weapon. You thought the same
thing a moment ago. You will twist your fear into a weapon. Why deny it?"
"No," Anakin said, driving his lightsaber toward the Sith again. "I
will learn to let my anger go. I am a Jedi."
"Fool," Qui-Gon's killer hissed. "There are other paths to power."
"It isn't power I seek," Anakin said, his lightsaber tangling with the
Sith's again. The shock of the blow made him grip his lightsaber with both
hands.
"Then you lie," the dark Lord said, stepping back. "How else will you
save that poor, weeping mother you abandoned if you do not have power?"
Anger surged again. Anakin whirled, his lightsaber circling, his body
taut. The blow passed through his enemy.
The Sith laughed. "Don't you remember, boy? I am just a vision. Your
vision. I am the Master you secretly want. I am the one who will deliver to
you what you most desire."
"No!" Anakin screamed. He launched himself forward. Again and again he
tried to strike a blow, using every technique he had mastered. The Sith's
own lightsaber whirled in a circle, deflecting Anakin's moves.
With a cunning twist, the Sith flipped Anakin's lightsaber from his
grasp. It spun in the air, then disintegrated into pieces. Then he reached
out a hand. Anakin felt the Force move against his body. He flew through
the air and hit the cave wall. His head hit the hard stone and he slid
down. When his head cleared, he found himself sitting on the floor, the
pieces of the lightsaber in his lap.
"The dark side can deliver what you most desire," the Sith Lord said,
leaning over him. Anakin could feel his hot breath on his cheek. How could
a vision have breath?
"Admit it," Qui-Gon's killer said. He raised his lightsaber for the
killing blow.
Anakin summoned up the last shreds of his defiance. He stared down his
foe. "I have created you. I can make you go."
His arms still over his head, his lightsaber pulsing, the Sith smiled.
"But I will return. I dwell inside you."
He disappeared, and there was only blackness. Anakin looked down. A
completed lightsaber lay in his lap, the very lightsaber the Sith had
tossed to him. Was it real? He picked it up and turned it in his hand. He
gripped it, and it seemed solid against his fingers, a perfect fit. He
activated it, and the shaft of the laser glowed blue, surprising him.
Anakin stood, locking his knees so that his legs wouldn't tremble.
When he was sure he was in complete control, he hurried back to the mouth
of the cave.
Obi-Wan was sitting cross-legged in a meditation pose, waiting for
him. Surprised, he rose to his feet when he saw Anakin.
"Are you real?" Anakin asked.
"Yes, I am real." Obi-Wan gripped Anakin's arm. "You see?"
Then he caught sight of the lightsaber. Anakin had deactivated it but
held it loosely by his side. "What's this?" He held out a hand, and Anakin
gave it to him. He gave Anakin an incredulous look. "You made this?"
"I... I must have," Anakin said. He did not want to tell Obi-Wan about
his vision of the Sith. "You appeared to me. You told me to go into a
trance state. I felt the Force very strongly."
Obi-Wan handed the lightsaber back to Anakin. "This is a good sign,
Padawan. You let your feelings guide you. Look what you accomplished. When
you allow your instincts to take over, they will not fail you. Remember in
the battle of Naboo how you destroyed the Droid Control ship? The Force is
always with you."
Anakin nodded. He took comfort from the pleasure and pride in Obi-
Wan's voice. Every Jedi went through trials to build a lightsaber. He had
overcome terrible visions. He had won. He would not think of the words that
the Sith Lord had spoken.
Obi-Wan's comlink signaled. He spoke into it and listened intently.
Then he cut the communication and turned to Anakin.
"We are wanted back at the Temple," he said. "The Council has a
mission for us."
A mission! The thought crowded out the disturbing visions. Anakin
sprang to his feet. He clipped his new lightsaber onto his belt. At last he
could be a true partner to his Master. He would not think of his disturbing
trance, the mystery of how the lightsaber was made. It did not matter.
This
lightsaber had made him a Jedi.
CHAPTER 4
"You're fidgeting," Obi-Wan told Anakin.
They stood outside the Jedi Council Room at the Temple. The small
waiting area had comfortable seating, but Obi-Wan preferred to stand, and
Anakin couldn't sit still. The minutes ticked by, and still they were not
called.
"Why do you think Chancellor Palpatine will be in the meeting?" Anakin
asked, taking in a slow, deep breath to still his muscles.
"I don't know."
"But you suspect."
"Speculation is a waste of time. Especially," Obi-Wan added, "when you
are waiting for the Jedi Council."
"You sound like a droid," Anakin grumbled. "Can't you tell me how you
feel?"
"I feel that you are overly anxious about this mission," Obi-Wan said.
Anakin fingered the new lightsaber by his side. He wasn't anxious, but
he was impatient. Obviously, the presence of Chancellor Palpatine meant
that the upcoming mission was a crucial one. Obi-Wan just didn't want to
tell him so. The fact that they were chosen also had to mean that the
hesitations that Anakin knew the Jedi Council still held about him must be