“It is?”
“Of course it is,” I said, shaking my head at him. “Twenty years living with us? You should know better.”
He didn’t reply.
“There has to be another way,” I said.
“Aside from just walking in and telling them to step outside, you mean?”
I didn’t dignify that with a response. The fact was that we couldn’t just walk in there as we looked now. They’d already seen us at the pier, and that meant they knew what we looked like. A disguise was in order, which I was fine with, but the seduction part?
Damn it.
“Pecker,” I called in a direct-connection to the Netherworld, “you don’t happen to have any wigs and such around there, do you?”
“Wigs?”
“Yes, I need to go undercover into this bar and pick up three guys.”
“Uh…what?”
“There are three guys in here that we’re following, but they already know what we look like. I don’t want to go in with guns blazing, so I need a disguise.”
“You’re going to wear a wig?” he asked slowly.
“That’s right. Don’t get horny.”
“Too late,” he replied. “Give me a minute and let me see what I’ve got.” I heard shuffling. “Okay, how do you feel about black hair?”
“I don’t care,” I replied, feeling stupid about the entire thing. “Just send up whatever you’ve got, including an outfit or whatever.”
“All right, but you have to promise to send back pictures.”
“Pecker, just do it!”
“You used to be so much fun, Piper,” he replied sadly. “What happened?”
“I was never fun,” I growled. “Now, send up whatever you have before I come down there and shove my…” I stopped, realizing that was not the best thing to say to Pecker.
“Shove your what?” he cooed. “And in my where?”
My shoulders slumped and my head fell forward.
“What’s the matter?” asked Reaper.
“Nothing,” I said aloud to him. Then, I spoke back to Pecker. “This is not a joke, Pecker. Please send up whatever you’ve got.” I created a null zone nearby. “There’s a null right next to my position.”
“Sending,” he replied in a subdued voice. “I would appreciate at least one picture though.”
“Goodbye, Pecker.”
A small station of items arrived a moment later. Normals could see it, if they chose to, but the null zone would make them glance away pretty quickly. Normals didn’t like null zones.
“We should probably put up a hidden zone, too,” Reaper suggested as he pressed around on this tattoo. “There. It’s not very large, but it should do.”
“If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard a guy say that…” I mumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
I dug through the junk that Pecker had sent up. There was a long black wig, a silver form-fitting dress, and a pair of high heels. If he had been there right then, I’d have punched him. He would probably have considered that foreplay.
“Fucking Pecker,” I hissed.
“What?”
“Nothing.” I grabbed the dress and grumbled a number of curses. “Turn around.”
Reaper did and I got dressed.
It wasn’t easy doing this, considering we were outside. I knew we were behind a hidden zone, but it was still unnerving. Even though you’re consciously aware that nobody can see you, it’s still a mind fuck when they look in your general direction.
I noticed Reaper was nodding his head now and then. I stepped to the side and saw that his lips were moving, too. This meant he was using his connector. Most officers were able to communicate through the connector without moving their lips. Reaper wasn’t one of them.
After getting everything set, including the stupid wig, I said, “I’m done.”
He turned around and his eyes brightened considerably.
“You look…amazing.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I said, feeling stupid. “Who were you talking to?”
“Uh…nobody.”
Liar.
“Honestly, you look fantastic, Piper.”
“Tease all you want, Reap,” I scowled. “Just get ready. I’m bringing one of them out here. If his pals follow, you’d better knock them out.”
I didn’t wait for a reply. This sucked and there was a high probability that I was going to be kicking someone in the nuts very soon. Worse, I was dressed like I was going to a gala.
“I’m sure I won’t look out of place,” I mumbled to myself before opening the door and walking inside.
A few people gave me funny looks, and a couple of guys whistled at me, which was kind of nice, to be honest. There was one drunk who asked, “How much?” He almost found out what it felt like to be a hand-puppet. Unfortunately, there was no time to teach lessons.
Hardening my resolve, I did my best to ignore the attention and instead focused on finding my way to the pool hall. Sure enough, there were three guys in there making all sorts of noise. Being that I was able to spot supers, I could see straightaway that they were the wolves.
Yay.
“Bar’s out there, lady,” one of them said.
“I know,” I replied, trying to sound sultry.
They collectively gave me a funny look. That didn’t help my confidence very much.
“You wanna play or something?”
I looked him square in the eye and mouthed, “Yes.”
They all furrowed their brows and looked back and forth at each other. Then they began to smile.
This was not going to be enjoyable.
“Uh,” the smallest of the three said while approaching me, “honey, you’re barking up the wrong tree. Nice dress, though.”
“I’m…” My eyes shot open wide. “Oh, shit. You guys are gay?”
“Quite,” the little one said. “Sorry, sweetie.”
“Oh, no problem at all.” My smile would not be contained. “This is great.”
I turned and clomped right out of that place. Yes, I said clomped. I don’t do heels.
“Where is he?” Reaper said, looking baffled. “Did something go wrong?”
“I wouldn’t say that,” I replied, giggling.
Chapter 16
It was fun to call down to Pecker this time, and he seemed to be relishing the fact that Reaper was going to have to step up his game, too.
“Okay,” Reaper said from behind me, “how does this look?”
I turned and nearly coughed up a lung.
My partner was wearing a bright white U.S. Navy outfit that was far too tight around his nether region, which made me do a double-take, if I’m being honest. His pants were also about two inches too short, making his black socks really stand out. But the best part of all was that he kept his brimmed hat and shades on.
“You look…”—I fought against laughing—“amazing.”
“You really think so?” he asked, looking unsure.
“Oh, yeah,” I answered while shaking my head. “This is definitely one for the annual Retriever photo album.” I coughed. “One thing, though. The hat isn’t going to work.”
He glanced down at the red wig that was sitting next to him. Beside that was a little sailor’s cap that matched his outfit.
“Which of those should I wear?”
“Both,” I said as seriously as I could manage. “Definitely both.”
He took off the black hat and sunglasses, put on the red wig, and topped it off with the little cap.
The laughter was simply uncontainable.
“Why are you laughing?” he asked seriously.
“Because,” I said between heaves, “I can’t believe how…stunning you look.”
He squinted at me. “Are you being truthful or is this sarcasm again?”
I ignored his question because I’d have answered it in such a way that he’d just repeat the question.
“Forget it,” I said, still fightin
g my giggles. “We have work to do.”
“I don’t feel comfortable.”
“Oh?” I said, tilting my head. “And why is that?”
“Because…” He looked down at himself. “I feel like a piece of meat.”
“Welcome to womanhood, pal,” I scoffed. “You had no problem with it when I was the one going in for the seductive play.” I’d thankfully dumped that dress and wig and was back into my regular outfit. “Your turn, sailor.”
“But,” he replied, stopping me again from pushing him through the door, “I don’t know what to say.” He looked rather panicked. “This is not something I’m familiar with, Piper.”
I took a deep breath and tried to steady myself. Regardless of how silly he looked, he was right to feel uncomfortable if he didn’t know what to do. If he was too strange, the wolves would become suspicious.
“Reap,” I said in a calm voice, “are you telling me that in all of your years living away from Reaperland, you haven’t seen a single movie where a guy tries to pick up a girl in a bar?”
He blinked a few times. “Well, yes, but they always either get slapped or have a drink thrown in their face.”
“Fair enough,” I replied, “but you’re going to be hitting on guys. They don’t do that.”
“They don’t?”
I had no idea, to be honest. Every time I ever hit on a guy, I got laid.
“Look,” I pressed, “you’ll be fine. Just go in there and say something to whichever one you think is the most attractive.”
“Like what?”
I groaned. “I don’t know. You want him to think you’re going to have sex with him, right?”
“I suppose,” he replied with a wince.
“Well, imagine you wanted to get laid and someone approached you and said something that would turn you on. Whatever that is, that’s what you say.”
He sighed nervously but nodded. I handed him his shades and motioned him toward the door.
We went inside and I got as close to the pool hall as I could without being spotted. He gave me one last look and then walked to the edge of the room.
“Oh my,” said one of the wolves. “Check out this stud.”
“Nice pants, sailor,” said another. “Looks like you’re smuggling my lunch.”
Reaper looked down at himself. “It does?”
I stifled a laugh while the wolves all closed in on Reaper. They definitely appeared interested, but my little sailor had to select only one of them and then get back outside. In fact, I thought maybe it’d be a wise idea for me to get outside too. The last thing I needed to do was go into a fit of laughter while he was in the middle of picking up one of them. They’d spot me in an instant.
Thus, I looked down and spun away from them while heading toward the door.
Unfortunately, I did hear his pick-up line.
“I would very much like to play with your unmentionables,” he said in as pedantic a voice as you’ve ever heard. “You may play with mine, as well.”
I nearly lost my shit.
Chapter 17
When he walked out with the largest of the three wolves, it brought into question what precisely Reaper’s sexual interests were. The smallest guy would have…
No. I didn’t want to think about that.
I was fighting to keep myself from laughing because the sight of Reaper in his little sailor’s outfit was simply ridiculous.
But it was time to be a professional.
I snorted just as they stepped by the hidden zone. The guy looked over and Reaper shoved him at me. I knocked the dude unconscious with the butt of my gun, which was amazing considering my laughter was in full force. Fortunately for me, it had all happened so fast that the guy couldn’t have seen it coming.
That was the thing about hidden zones, not even supers could spot them until it was too late.
“Are you finished?” Reaper seethed.
“You talking to him or me?” I teased.
Just as I was sending down Reaper’s boyfriend to an interrogation cell in the Netherworld PPD, the zone cleared. Before Reaper could get it back online, the other two wolves came outside.
This would have been okay except for that other thing about hidden zones…they didn’t tend to last forever.
“Hey, what’s…” the smaller of the two started as his pal dissolved into thin air. He blinked a couple of times and then looked at us more closely. “You! You’re the Retrievers.”
He went for his tattoo, but I wasn’t going to let him melt himself. I shot him in the hand, throwing a Death Nail straight through it, which wouldn’t kill him, but it’d serve to block him from activating the damn melt option.
He yelped as I yelled, “Fire, Reap!”
Reaper brought up his arm and launched off a fireball at the other wolf. Unfortunately, he missed…by a lot. The ball flew off and struck a building down the street, lighting it on fire almost immediately.
The second shot, though, hit the dude square in the chest, eliciting a scream like I’d never heard before. I know getting slammed by a fireball was brutally painful, but whatever Reaper blasted off at the guy was either worse than the stuff mages launched or this guy was a real wuss. He fell to the ground, slapping at himself as he continued to scream.
Reaper jumped over and snapped up his trench coat from near the building and threw it at the burning guy, trying to smother the flames.
The smaller wolf took off toward the burning building.
“Freeze, fucker,” I called after him, “or I swear I will end you.”
He didn’t freeze.
I ended him with a nicely placed Death Nail in the back, which sucked because I wanted to question the little fucker. Still, better dead than roaming the streets under whatever hold Lucien Bane had on him.
“This one is going to die, Piper,” Reaper panted moments after the little guy did die. “I’m putting him in stasis.”
“Yeah, okay,” I said, caring more about Reaper’s feelings than about the life or death of the wolf who had tried to kill us earlier that night. “Do what you gotta do, Reap, but you don’t have much time.”
I ran up to the body of the little wolf and set about sending him down to the morgue.
The sound of sirens could be heard in the distance. People were coming out into the street and looking at the fire. One of them looked over and saw the little guy disappear.
Shit.
She glanced past me and yelped.
I looked back to see Reaper was doing his stasis thing on the guy and it was a bit of a light-show.
Double shit.
“Roger,” I moaned, “we need another containment unit.”
“Acknowledged, Officer Shaw.”
I ran back to Reaper and threw up a null zone. The people who were looking our way suddenly turned around, refocusing on the fire. Their memories wouldn’t be wiped, at least not until the containment crew arrived, but at least they’d avoid looking at us while we headed down.
“Dr. Hale,” Reaper said through his connector, keeping me in the loop, “I am sending a young man down who has serious burns. Please do what you can to save him.”
He didn’t wait for a reply.
The charred werewolf disappeared, leaving me and Reaper alone in front of Sweeties looking on as a flurry of people stared at the burning buildings.
Reaper was clearly upset, meaning the sailor outfit was no longer funny.
Well, mostly.
“Go change back into your normal clothes, Reap,” I said gently, moving over and creating a fresh hidden zone. “We’ll go down and talk to the guy we caught when you’re ready.”
He nodded dumbly and staggered off to change.
Chapter 18
The Netherworld PPD interrogation rooms were just like the ones you see on TV. A white table, overhead lighting, two chairs on one side, and one chair on the other. The single chair was for the perp, of course. On the table, we also had restraining devices, which was important because the wolf we were
questioning had that damn melt option on his tattoo.
“All right, Rodney,” I said, doing a quick scan of his rap sheet, “it looks like you’ve been a busy boy over your life. Grand theft auto, armed robbery, breaking and entering, defiling public property…just to name a few.”
“And now you’re working for Lucien Bane,” added Reaper.
I nodded. “Which means you’re going to be booked on your part in trying to kill me and my partner.”
He looked pretty freaked out, which wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. Based on my interactions with the others we had run into, I expected more defiance. Maybe this one wasn’t as into the “mission” as the rest of them?
“Look,” he stammered, “I was just getting paid to help out, you know? I’m just a werewolf who’s been down on his luck.”
I pointed at his arm accusingly. “Did you get upgrades on your tattoo?”
“Well, yeah,” he replied. “That was part of the gig.”
“The gig to kill two Retrievers?” asked Reaper.
“I didn’t know anyone was going to get killed, and I damn sure didn’t know they were going after cops.” He licked his lips. “I was told that we were putting a scare into a couple of locals from a rival den. That’s it.”
I’d interrogated a lot of perps over the years and they had some pretty clear tells, but I actually believed this dude. Of course it could also have been that he was just one hell of an actor. Maybe Lucien Bane or Keller fixed them up in case they couldn’t get to the melt button.
“Reap?”
“I believe he’s speaking the truth.”
The door opened and Pecker walked inside. This elicited a sneer from our prisoner. I couldn’t say I blamed him seeing that wolves and goblins probably got along even worse than wolves and vampires.
“Pecker,” I said, giving him a sidelong glance, “what are you doing here?”
“Mostly I was hoping that you’d still be in your outfit,” he replied with a wink, “but I would have settled with seeing Reap in his.” He suddenly froze. “I mean, not seeing him in that way. I just meant…” He coughed. “Uh, anyway, I’m really here to check out this guy’s tat. It might help me help the rest of you guys to stay out of trouble.”
Bane's Edge: A Piper & Payne Supernatural Novel, #2 (Netherworld Paranormal Police Department) Page 6