“Yes, I want to give her a proposal she’ll remember.”
“Brenna is a lucky girl,” I tell him.
“When do you go back to the neurologist?”
“You know that I am not your responsibility, right?”
He chuckles. “Yes, but I’m worried about you.”
“I appreciate that. However, you don’t need to be. I’m a big girl and can take care of myself.”
“You’re also stubborn as fuck and don’t want to accept help.”
I can’t deny that. “Yes, I went a week ago and there’s no change. I still have residual issues, especially with my peripheral vision. I’m not cleared to drive yet, and I won’t be playing sports anytime soon. She’s hopeful though, I’m making improvements, which is a good sign.”
“Good.”
“Can you explain to me why I haven’t gotten a bill yet?” I ask, knowing he’s already handled it. My doctor’s office wouldn’t even speak to me about it other than to say that all charges had been handled in advance.
No one else could’ve been behind it.
“Not a clue.”
“Now we’re lying to each other?”
“No, I’m merely acting, which is my job.”
I glance over at the clock and sigh. “I wish I could talk more, but I have to get ready for work and call Winnie to make sure she actually shows up since she drank her weight in champagne.”
“All right. I’ll send you all the details about the premiere.”
“Jacob?” There’s a hesitation in my voice, but it is something I need to say.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you. For everything. You saved my life that day, and I know you handled my medical expenses, which would’ve bankrupted me by now. You’ve been a great friend, and I just want you to know that there’s no one else in the world I would’ve rathered almost died with.”
He lets out a deep laugh. “Same. You saved me as much as I saved you.”
“I don’t think that’s true, but I appreciate it all the same.”
“Listen, you’ve been through hell, and you’re still dealing with it in ways that Elliot, Jose, and I aren’t, but we were given a chance, Jess. A chance to make things right and do the things we want.”
I lie back on the bed, feeling a bit dazed and lost. “It’s complicated.”
“Brenna would tell you that life is complicated.”
“Brenna is a wise woman.”
“Let’s keep that to ourselves,” Jacob says with a chuckle.
“I don’t know, Jacob, it’s like being here is being in the past, but that’s not reality. Things have stayed still since I left.”
If anyone could understand what I mean, it would be him. He left the town he’s from and vowed never to return but was forced to because of his father’s will.
“Believe me, I get it, but coming back home doesn’t mean a death sentence. My brothers and I are proof of that. If my father didn’t force our hands, we would’ve all been living very sad and lonely lives. Now look at the Arrowood brothers. We’re all in very different places.”
“But is it the place you would’ve chosen?” I ask.
“No, because I didn’t know this place existed.”
Pushing aside the branches and overgrown brush, I walk deeper into the woods. It’s crazy that I remember how to get here. It’s been so long, but the path is etched in my mind. I walk a little to the right, avoiding a rock that looks like it fell from the cliff above.
Today was a hard day. I had a migraine that left me feeling nauseous and then ended up having to call out of work. Then Winnie called to tell me she has to go out of town for her job, which means I’m unable to get anywhere unless Delia or my mother can drive me.
I slept the entire morning and afternoon, so now, it’s almost dusk, and I am wide awake.
Hence the hike.
This overlook was one of my favorite spots, not just because it was something I shared with Grayson but because it was a safe place. Somewhere that was untouched by the outside world and was a piece of Earth that was just mine.
I climb up the side with a grin on my face because I know that, once I get around this curve, it’ll have a small open space where two people can fit without anyone being able to see them.
One more step up and two twists and I’ll be in the clearing. There’s a sliver of my heart that wants him to be here, waiting like he was all those times. I’m clearly a freaking fool.
When I see my spot, a part of me weeps because he’s not here and another part weeps because it’s everything that I remember.
The ground is covered in soft moss, the mountain carved out on both sides gives a feeling of a cocoon, and the view . . . the view is breathtaking.
As many times as I once dreamed of this, it didn’t come close.
There is a town over on the right, and I can just make out a few lights. Over to the left is nothing but trees and mountain tops.
The sounds of nature are all around—an owl hooting, trees rustling in the breeze, and frogs croaking. I pull out my blanket, place it on the ground, and lie down, just breathing.
Minutes pass as I sink into the peace of this place. For the first time in a long time, the sky is my friend and I feel safe.
Until I hear the crunching of branches.
My heart picks up, and I sit upright, which has my head throbbing from the quick motion.
Relax, Jessica, no one can see you here. You’re protected.
I repeat this over and over.
The sound stops, and I release a deep breath. “It was probably a deer,” I say under my breath.
But before I can lie back down, something catches my eye, and then I know it. I’m not alone.
I’m not safe.
Someone else is here.
Chapter 15
Grayson
As though I conjured her from my mind, Jessica is sitting on a blanket in front of me. Only, instead of smiling at me, her arms are wrapped around her legs and there is fear in her eyes.
“You’re here,” I say and watch her shoulders drop.
“Grayson. Jesus. You scared the shit out of me.”
She shouldn’t even be here. She should be at home—resting. She called out of work because of a headache, which had me concerned. When I left the inn, I drove to her house, but I ended up turning around before I got there because she’s not mine anymore.
Stella came by and offered to take Melia for the night as a thank you for saving her ass with Mom over a misunderstanding at dinner.
So, I found myself worried and stuck in the house.
Instead of sitting alone for the night, I came here, needing to be close to Jessica but not near her. That didn’t exactly work out.
“Me? What are you doing here?” I ask.
She shifts onto her knees, moving a backpack to the side. “My headache is gone, and I needed to . . . I don’t know . . . be out of my mother’s house.”
I move deeper into the space. “I needed to be out of my house too.”
“Where is Melia?”
“With Stella.”
She nods. “So, the single dad has the night off and doesn’t know what to do?”
More like the man who keeps trying to avoid kissing the girl he loved once is going out of his mind. “Something like that.” I walk over to where she’s sitting. “Is there room for me?”
Jessica scoots a bit. “Always.” I take the spot next to her and pull my blanket out as well. We can use it if the temperature drops more. “It seems we were both drawn to a familiar hideout.”
“Well, I’ve been here the entire time.”
“You weren’t here when I got here, and it doesn’t look like you’ve been in a while.”
She’s got me there. “It’s been a bit.”
Jess grins as though she knew it. “How long?”
“Since before Melia was born.”
The truth is, I can’t remember the last time I came out here. Like the beach house, it’s something that belonged to th
e two of us. This was where we were lost and found together.
“Does it feel different to you?” she asks.
“I think everything is different.”
She looks out at the horizon. “It is, but being here doesn’t feel that way, does it? When I got here, it was like this sense of belonging filled me. Almost as though the spot has been here, waiting for us. Everything is the same as it was—well, other than the house I passed that wasn’t here years ago.”
I lean back on my elbows, looking at her in the moonlight as the stars begin to show themselves. Sometimes I feel as if everything has been waiting for her. It’s why I needed to pretend I didn’t care.
Why everything in my life has been about moving forward and not looking back.
She’s my past, but I always thought she’d be my future.
I’ll never understand how two kids managed to fall so hard for each other that, after all this time, it still feels as strong. It all came back the day she did.
“Yeah, it’s a few years old.”
“Hopefully, the owners have never found this spot.”
I grin. “From the overgrowth, I’d guess not.”
No, it doesn’t look like anyone at all has been here.
“I hope they don’t mind us being here.”
I shrug. “I’m not worried.”
Jess shifts her weight, bumping into me. “You were always able to get out of trouble.”
“I’m a likable guy.”
“You’re something, all right.” Jess’s smile is warm, and I want to kiss her so much it hurts.
“What else do you have in there?” I ask, looking at the bag.
She opens it up, pulling out a water bottle, a pillow, a bag of snacks, and her phone, which is comical because there’s no reception over here.
“Were you planning on sleeping here?”
“No,” she says slowly. “I just wasn’t sure I’d find it, and I swear it was you who told me to always be prepared in case I got lost or hurt.”
“That I did.”
She leans back on her elbows, mimicking my pose, and I grab at the snack bag.
“Hey! Bring your own snacks,” she says with a laugh.
“I like yours better.”
I open the bag of crackers and pop one into my mouth. She rolls her eyes and rests her head on the pillow. I hate that I still find her irresistible.
I look out at the view, focusing on the stars instead of how beautiful she is. Her long brown hair is pulled up in one of those buns that make zero sense, and she’s wearing leggings and an off-the-shoulder sweatshirt that shows off her tattoo. “What does that say?” I ask, avoiding the complexity of my thoughts around her.
Her head turns to me, eyes filled with confusion. “What?”
“Your tattoo.”
“Oh,” she says with a grin, “It’s Latin for: strength isn’t measurable.”
“That’s very true.”
“I sometimes have to remind myself that we aren’t born with a finite amount of strength because there’s always more when we need it. We have to harness it, use it, refill it once it’s depleted.”
“Look at you,” I say, nudging her softly. “A philosopher.”
She shakes her head. “Far from it. I just have thoughts about certain things in life.”
“What do you think about this moment then? The two of us, finding each other in a place that has gone untouched for years.”
Jessica stares at me for a beat before turning away, resting her hand along the column of her neck. “I don’t know. What do you think?”
I shift so I can gauge her reaction. “I think it means we were meant to be here.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Why did you come here? Honestly.”
Her breathing grows a bit faster, her eyes searching mine. “I needed to feel alive again.”
“And this place is where you felt it?”
Jessica shakes her head.
“No?” I ask, confused as to why she’d walk out here.
“I felt it with you.”
The pounding in my chest gets louder as indecision wrestles within my head. I want her. I’ve always wanted her. I need her, and yet, I know I will never have her. Jessica can’t be caught, and that was my biggest mistake before. She can’t be caged, and any man who tries to contain her will fail.
This time is different. I know I can’t keep her, but maybe I can hold her for just a while.
The two of us watch each other, waiting for the other to make a move. This time, I will tumble over the side.
I reach my hand out slowly, my thumb brushing her cheek. I move at a pace that gives her every opportunity to push me away.
“I felt safe with you,” I say as I inch nearer to her lips. “I shouldn’t, but you’re the one thing that I can’t seem to let go of.”
A tremble runs through her body, and she places her hand over my racing heart. “What are we doing?”
“Whatever we want. Do you want me?”
Her eyes, which are a rich amber color that is rimmed with a thick line of black, move to my lips. “I told you I can’t kiss you.”
I move a bit more, our mouths just barely a whisper apart. “Then I’ll just have to kiss you.”
I don’t wait for her to answer, I kiss her. My lips meld to hers as though we were made to fit this way. She tilts her head, and I take advantage of it, deepening the kiss. Jessica’s arm wraps around me as she clings to me, and I lay her down.
The moan that escapes her runs through my bones, and I want to hear it again and again. Her lips part, and then our tongues slide along each other’s. I’m so fucking done. I hold her head steady, controlling the kiss, needing to fucking take anything she’ll give me.
She makes soft noises, clutching my back as I roll atop her. “Jess,” I say her name into the silent air.
“Kiss me, Gray. Please don’t stop.”
I do as she asks, my hand running down her side as my mouth stays fused to hers. She’s everything I remember but better. I’ve kissed this girl over a thousand times. I’ve felt her love, passion, and body so many times, but this is like something new.
We’re new.
This isn’t the old Grayson and Jessica, this is something new.
I never should’ve kissed her. I should stop, but there’s not a chance in hell of that happening.
My hand is moving back up her body, and I cup her breast, moving my thumb over her nipple.
She grips my back, trying to pull me tighter.
“Tell me to stop,” I say against her mouth.
Her eyes find mine, blazing with passion and desire. “I don’t want you to.”
“Jess . . .”
“Grayson, it’s you. You’re why I came here.”
“Christ,” I say before I kiss her harder and with everything inside me. She’s why I’m here.
I hoped that I’d find her here, and when I saw her, it was as though all the questions surrounding what we should be disappeared.
This may never work, but I can’t resist her.
I graze the skin where her shirt has lifted, moving my hand under the fabric. I push under the wire of her bra, letting the weight of her breast fill my hand perfectly.
She moans as I knead and rub her nipple. Her head moves to the side. “God, yes.”
I kiss down her neck, nipping at the skin right where it meets her shoulder before my tongue licks over that spot.
Her hips lift slightly, and I shift, needing to see her. “You’re so beautiful. Laying here in the spot where I fell in love with you. Your lips are swollen from my kiss.”
“And look at you . . .” Her eyes move over my face. “Your hair is mussed. Your eyes can’t move off me, and you . . . you found me.”
“I’ve been searching for you for years.”
Jess’s brows scrunch slightly. “What do you mean?”
Shit. I shouldn’t have said anything. “Nothing.”
Jessica sits up. “That’s not n
othing, Gray.”
“I just mean that you’re the girl who I have never really forgotten. I’ve tried, fucking hell, I’ve tried. You’re everywhere, and I can’t forget, Jess. I can’t pretend that I don’t want you and us and . . .”
Her hand moves to my lips. “I tried too. And then my life literally came crashing down around me. Do you know what I thought of when that plane was falling?”
I wait, the masochist in me wanting her to say it was me. The realist keeping that side in check.
“Your life. Your family.”
“The man I let go,” Jess answers. “I thought about you and how I missed you.”
“You had a head injury.”
She laughs softly. “Or maybe I just finally had some sense knocked into me. You’re why I’m here. Yes, I needed to recover, but I couldn’t keep living this way. I had to see you . . . to know if how I feel is real or not.”
“And now that you’re here, what? Are you going to stay here and not leave if we try this?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
The crestfallen look on her face says everything. “I . . . I . . . we . . . the . . .” Her eyes fill with tears.
“Don’t, Jess. Don’t get upset.” A tear falls down her cheek, and I wipe it away. “Loving you has never been a question, but keeping you has always been our downfall. I can’t leave here and you won’t stay.”
She lets out a deep breath and then speaks. “It’s not that way.”
“But it is. I’m stuck here whether I like it or not. I have Amelia to think about, the inn, and my family, even though they are a pain in my ass.”
“So, what if we try?”
“And I end up with a heartbroken little girl and my own pain?”
She chews on her lower lip. “You can’t tell me what I’m going to want, Grayson. I’ve left you and know how that feels. If we try, and I love you like I . . . and it all . . .”
I lean in, pressing my lips to hers, refusing to hear the end of that. “If we fail,” I say softly, “I won’t hurt my daughter by allowing her to watch another woman walk away.”
I have to protect Amelia and myself because Jessica doesn’t belong here, just like Yvonne didn’t.
Chapter 16
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