The honeymoon was spent at York Cottage, their new home on the Sandringham estate. During the few days the Yorks spent alone there, they constantly wrote love notes to one another. George found it much easier to express his love for his wife in writing. In one letter after their wedding, he poured out his belief that his love for May had grown so much since their engagement.
You know by this time that I never do anything by halves, when I asked you to marry me I was very fond of you, but not very much in love with you, but saw in you the person I was capable of loving most deeply, if you only returned that love … I have tried to understand you and to know you, and with the happy result that I know now that I do love you darling girl with all my heart, and am simply devoted to you … I adore you sweet May. My love grows stronger for you every day, mixed with admiration and I thank God every day that he has given me such a darling devoted wife as you are. God bless you my sweet Angel May, who I know will always stick to me as I need our love and help more than ever now.258
Although their honeymoon at Sandringham was meant to be a vacation, George and May spent the time answering piles upon piles of correspondences and notes of congratulations. A few weeks later, they rejoined the royal family at Osborne House on the Isle of Wight, where triumphal arches covered in flowers and garlands had been built in their honor. To welcome the Duke and Duchess of York, a crowd of nine hundred schoolchildren cheered them from carts draped in green branches. At dinner one night, May found herself seated next to Wilhelm II. “I sat next to William,” she wrote to her mother, “who made himself most agreeable … Fancy me, little me, sitting next to William, the place of honour!!! It seemed so strange … I talked my best German.”259 May soon found herself somewhat taken with the emperor, who treated her deferentially, though she did admit that, at times, he made “royalty ridiculous.”260
As the decade progressed, Alix’s congenial life in Darmstadt was undergoing some significant changes. She was increasingly worried about her father, Louis. The bearded, thickset grand duke had been in failing health for several years. His children became troubled in the winter of 1892 when they noticed that he was short of breath, pale, and struggled to keep his balance. He felt the cold German winter terribly, forcing him to stay confined to his room for days on end. As the months passed, there was little change. Then, one afternoon in March while the family was having lunch, Louis collapsed at the table. He suffered a massive stroke. Alix sat at his bedside for the next nine days, anxiously praying. Irene and Victoria rushed to Darmstadt, joining Alix and Ernie in their round-the-clock vigil. Only Ella had been unable to make it from Russia in time for his death on March 13, 1892. At the age of nineteen, Alix was now an orphan. “Death is dreadful without preparation,” she recalled years later, “and without the body gradually loosening all earthly ties.”261 Although the grand duke and Queen Victoria had not always gotten along, she was deeply saddened by his passing. She later described Louis as “so dear and joyous—so loving,” whose death came too “young for his age.”262
With the death of Alix’s father, there seemed added urgency for her to find a husband as soon as possible. Her brother, Ernie, was now Grand Duke of Hesse and would be expected to marry quickly. This meant there would be a new first lady of the land, rendering Alix obsolete. Her old governess, Mrs. Orchard, murmured that she should have married Max of Baden while she still had the chance. Alix’s grief over her father’s death only fueled her longing for Nicky, which came to the fore once again when she journeyed to Berlin for another family wedding in January 1893. This time, her cousin Frederick Charles of Hesse was marrying another cousin—Mossy of Prussia, Wilhelm II’s youngest sister. The reception, which was hosted by Wilhelm and Dona at the Stadtschloss, was so overcrowded that one of the guests fainted from the heat. During the festivities, Dona found herself trying to clean up her family’s messes when her brother Ernest Günther caused several high-ranking royals to miss a number of the formal gatherings because he had kept them all night out partying. The wedding gave Alix a chance to see Nicky again (who happened to be one of those royals caught up with Dona’s brother). The pair shared afternoon tea and a family dinner, but they did not spend any time alone. For his part, Nicky was more determined than ever to marry Princess Alix of Hesse, despite pressure from some implacable foes. Queen Victoria had set herself against the marriage, and she was not the only one. Nicky’s parents, Alexander and Minnie, did everything in their power to dissuade their son from marrying the German-born Alix.
The tsar and his wife had two serious objections to Nicky’s making Alix his wife. The first was her personality. They believed her dour, somber moods were unsuited to the role of empress of Russia. Where Alix brooded and withdrew from the public, a Russian empress was expected to sparkle in society, and Nicky’s mother was the embodiment of that. Born Princess Dagmar of Denmark, she was the sister of the Princess of Wales. When she married Nicky’s father in 1866, she took the names Marie Feodorovna; Minnie was a nickname she adopted later on. With her petite figure, dark eyes, and strong personality, Minnie became a trendsetter in Russian society, the same way her sister Alexandra did in Britain. She enjoyed rubbing shoulders with Saint Petersburg’s socialites, wearing fine clothes, and showing off the breathtaking jewels of the imperial treasury. As a young man, Nicholas recalled watching his mother dress for a ball, surrounded by six ladies-in-waiting helping her into her silver brocade dress and attaching ten rows of pearls around her neck. Alix of Hesse could not have been more different. She disliked most aristocrats, whom she believed phony and insincere. She also disliked appearing in public. “I am not made to shine before an assembly,” she told a friend. “I have not got the easy nor the witty talk one needs for that. I like the internal being, and that attracts me with great force.”263 Minnie wrote to the Princess of Wales that “it would never do for the youngest daughter of an undistinguished grand duke to marry the heir to the Russian throne. Besides, Alix was personally not suited to be tsarina. She was too hard, she lacked grace and tact, she did not have the gift of making people like her.”264
The second obstacle Nicky faced was undoubtedly the most difficult: Alix’s faith. Born and raised a devout Lutheran like Empress Augusta Victoria, she was devoutly religious, but as a Russian empress, she would be expected to convert to the Orthodox faith. Alix was “too attached to her Protestant faith to contemplate converting.” She felt as though she would be turning her back on God, and that was something she could never do. “I have tried to look at it in every light,” Alix said, “but I always return to one thing. I cannot go against my conscience.” To do so would be “a sin … and I should be miserable all the days of my life, knowing that I had done a wrongful thing.” She concluded, “what happiness can come from a marriage which begins without the real blessing of God?”265 Her faith was a critical part of who she was, and she could not forsake it; this was in stark contrast to her late mother, Alice, who looked snidely upon religion and was regarded by other German royals as “a complete atheist.”266 In a pleading letter to Nicky, Alix poured out her feelings: “I should never find my peace of mind again, and like that I should never be your real companion who should help you on in life; for there always should be something between us two, in my not having the real conviction of the belief I had taken, and in the regret for the one I had left.” She ended her letter by poignantly writing, “I can never change my confession.”267 If there was any doubt, she wrote a similar letter to Nicky’s sister Xenia: “I cannot become untrue to my own confession … I don’t want him [Nicky] to go on hoping, as I can never change my Religion.”268
Alexander and Minnie spent months trying to dissuade Nicky from his mission. They suggested he marry someone else—Princess Hélène of Orléans. As a French royal, a marriage to Hélène was picture-perfect, cementing years of growing friendship between Russia and France. “Mama made a few allusions to Hélène, daughter of the Comte de Paris,” Nicky wrote in his journal. “I myself want to go in one direction and
it is evident that Mama wants me to choose the other.”269 Hélène was soon out of the running though. Like Alix, she was unwilling to forsake her Catholic faith for Orthodoxy. Nicky’s parents soon became frustrated with him. “She won’t have you. She’s a confirmed Lutheran,” an impatient Alexander told his son. “And what in the world do you see in her?” he asked his son in desperation. “Everything,” Nicky shot back. Minnie was just as resolute. “Alix of Hesse does not wish to have you,” she insisted to Nicky. “You are the heir. It is your duty to marry.” Exasperated, Nicky replied, “And I shall. And she’ll have me yet.”270 His last words to his mother on the subject were, “It’s Alicky of Hesse—or nobody—for me!”271
In April 1894, Nicky’s opportunity finally presented itself. Alix’s brother, Ernie, was marrying Princess Victoria Melita (“Ducky”) of Edinburgh in Coburg. He seized his chance. After months of arguing, he finally secured his parents’ permission to join his uncles Serge and Vladimir in going to Coburg. Part of the reason Alexander and Minnie finally acquiesced was because the tsar’s health was beginning to wane. It reminded everyone of the utmost importance of Nicky’s finding a wife and producing an heir. Once in Coburg, Nicky planned to propose to Alix and make her his wife. So confident was he of his powers of persuasion that he brought with him a priest, Father Yanishev, to instruct Alix about the Russian Orthodox faith, and a tutor, Catherine Schneider, to teach her the language.
The wedding of Ernie and Ducky in the tiny German city of Coburg promised an august display of personages. Most of the royal mob was attending, since both the bride and groom were grandchildren of Queen Victoria. The old icon herself, now seventy-five, was coming from London, as was most of the extended British royal family, including Wilhelm, Dona, and the Empress Frederick. With the exception of Queen Victoria, few people at the wedding were in high spirits. It was an open secret that the queen herself was the only reason Ernie and Ducky were getting married. For years, she had been trying to set the couple up. She regularly reminded Ernie that it was his responsibility to provide Hesse with an heir. Since Ducky was rich, young, attractive, and available, their grandmother decided it was her duty to see them married. Victoria was so enamored playing matchmaker for many of her other grandchildren that she failed to realize that Ernie and Ducky were hopelessly incompatible. So when news reached Coburg that Nicky was on his way, everyone was relieved for a diversion. By the time the imperial train arrived in Coburg, the wedding festivities had taken a backseat to the juiciest piece of gossip in years: would the resolute Alix accept Nicky’s proposal?
Even before Nicholas had a chance to see Alix, a cloud of gossip swirled around the city. “All the relatives one after another asked me about her,” Nicky told his mother.272 Most of the royals hoped Alix would accept Nicky, but not everyone was in agreement. “Even my dear Mama thought she would not accept him, she was so pointed about it,” the Empress Frederick wrote about the queen.273 When the couple finally came face to face the day after Nicky arrived, it was an exhausting experience. For over two hours, Nicky pleaded and begged while Alix sobbed, “No! I cannot.” Nicky described the meeting in a letter to his mother: “I tried to explain that there was no other way for her than to give her consent and that she simply could not withhold it … Still I went on repeating and insisting … though this went on for two hours, it came to nothing.”274 Even a letter Nicky gave to Alix written by his mother, another Lutheran princess who had converted to Russian Orthodoxy and was quite happy, failed to sway her.
For the next two days, Alix would not even see Nicky. At Ernie and Ducky’s wedding on April 9, she seemed to be “in a troubled trance.”275 That night, Emperor Wilhelm invited Alix to his residence in order to convince her to accept the tsarevitch. The emperor egotistically fancied himself Europe’s matchmaker and did not want to pass up a golden opportunity. It was no secret that Nicky’s parents loathed Wilhelm and Dona, but if he could get Alix and Nicky together, a German-born empress of Russia might just lead to a much-desired alliance between the two empires. Wilhelm mistakenly believed that since Alix was “entirely German,” then she would not allow German imperial interests to “suffer.”276 He manipulated his position as head of the Lutheran Church by pressuring Alix to accept. Her destiny was by Nicky’s side, he told her. It seemed to be enough.
The day after Ernie and Ducky were married, April 10, Wilhelm drove Alix to the house where Nicky was staying. They met in a room overlooking the palace gardens as a spring thunderstorm roared outside. Nicky presented Alix with a bouquet of flowers he swiped from a nearby table. It was here that she told him she accepted his proposal. “The first thing she said was … that she agreed!” wrote an ecstatic Nicky. “Oh God, what happened to me then! I started to cry like a child, and so did she, only her expression immediately changed; her face brightened and took on an aura of peace.”277
The first thing Alix did after accepting Nicky was to write a note to Queen Victoria. “Please do not think that my marrying will make a difference to my love for You,” she wrote. “Certainly it will not, and when I am far away, I shall long to think that there is One, the dearest and kindest Woman alive, who loves me a little bit.”278 Later in the day, Nicholas and Alix went to the queen’s room to receive her blessing, which she gave wholeheartedly. Afterward, the queen wrote,
[I was] quite thunderstruck, as though I knew Nicky much wished it, I thought Alicky was not sure of her mind. Saw them both. Alicky had tears in her eyes, but looked very bright, and I kissed them both … People generally seemed pleased at the engagement, which has the drawback that Russia is so far away … But as her mind is made up, and they are really attached to one another, it is perhaps better so.… He is so sensible and nice, & expressed the hope to come quietly to England to see Alicky at the end of June.279
Alix and Dona’s mutual cousin, Princess Marie Louise of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Augustenburg, recalled seeing her after she accepted the proposal: “I remember I was sitting in my room. I was quietly getting ready for a luncheon party when Alix stormed into my room, threw her arms around my neck and said, ‘I’m going to marry Nicky!’”280 “I am more happy than words can express,” Alix wrote to her old governess. “At last after these five sad years!”281 Perhaps for the first time in his life, Nicky “displayed a sustained effort of will, carrying forward, until victory against strong parental opposition, his personal battle for happiness.”282 Shortly after Alix accepted the proposal, Nicky and a number of his relatives attended a service of thanksgiving in the private Orthodox chapel of Ducky’s mother, the Duchess of Coburg.
“Alicky is quite radiant and beaming with joy,” the Empress Frederick wrote to her daughter Sophie. “The moment Nicky arrived I saw by her face that she would [accept him]—though it was so strange to refuse him first, and to swear to everyone that though she was very fond of him, she would never take him.… I could not help chuckling to myself that William did not think Alicky so very sinful to accept Nicky, and with him the necessity of conforming to the Orthodox Church. Of course, I made no remarks!”283 It struck many as hypocritical but not overly surprising that Wilhelm pushed Alix toward Nicholas. When her sister Ella converted from Lutheranism after marrying Grand Duke Serge, Wilhelm and Dona branded her a “traitor to her faith and her Fatherland” for embracing the Russian Orthodox faith.284 In reality, Wilhelm’s influence actually had very little to do with Alix’s change of heart. For one, the fact that Ducky was now the Grand Duchess of Hesse meant Alix would just be in the way in Darmstadt. She and her sister-in-law respected one another but were never friends. Her staying on would only cause problems between herself and the newlyweds. “I would only be in their way here,” Alix said forlornly.285 Ducky was not the only person’s influence Alix feared in Darmstadt after the wedding. Ducky’s mother, Marie, was the formidable Russian-born wife of Queen Victoria’s son, the Duke of Edinburgh, who became the Duke of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha in 1893. Alix was worried that her aunt Marie would end up “playing the dictator around Da
rmstadt” once Ducky had settled in.286
When it came to the question of religion, “Ella’s painless religious conversion undoubtedly helped settle her younger sister’s mind. But in the end, Alix’s unbounded love for Nicholas was the strongest factor in her decision to agree to his proposal.” That love meant she was committed to helping him rule Russia, for better or worse. Nicholas was a weak-willed man who was easily dominated by others. The resolute Alix saw this and was determined to be a strength to him. She believed “she could best serve God by helping Nicholas become a better tsar.”287 In the end, Alix accepted Nicky
because it came to her that she and she alone could make him envisage duty from the only possible point of view; that her very passion for him was strong enough to evoke qualities she considered dormant; that in marrying him she would be able to guide and to counsel; that in their joint happiness they would fulfill their high duty to the utmost. And, as she reflected on those points, she came to see that she would not violate her conscience … it was her true vocation to love and to serve him. Therein lay God’s will for her.288
She knew her destiny was, as Wilhelm said, at Nicky’s side. She wanted every day of her life to be spent serving God’s purposes for her family and for Russia: “Thus, in reconciling herself to her conversion to Orthodoxy, Alix wielded this irrevocable decision to a greater calling. She was to be an instrument of God, sent to transform the future Nicholas II and the Russian Empire. In tandem, she and Nicky would work for the greater good of Russia.”289 The union of Nicholas of Russia and Alix of Hesse-Darmstadt would permanently reshape the course of history.
Imperial Requiem: Four Royal Women and the Fall of the Age of Empires Page 16