Tentative fingers fluttered up to brush over my bottom lip. “I’m scared of this.”
I smiled beneath them before I brought my hand up to hold hers, pressed her fingers to my mouth in a gentle kiss. “All I’m scared of is losing you.”
Elizabeth softened, body and soul. I could feel it, the way the tension scattered like a gust of wind through a mound of fallen leaves. I took a chance and carefully wound her in my arms. There was no hesitation from her, just the softness of her hands as they ran up and over my shoulders and anchored at the back of my neck.
I leaned in and swept my nose along the sweetness of her jaw, and I whispered at her ear, “Be with me.”
Elizabeth swayed and rocked, let herself go in the security of my arms. Her face was hidden in the crook of my neck, buried in my need and the absolute devotion I felt for her, her mouth pressed to my skin. I danced with her, lifting her from her feet and slowly spinning her around.
We stayed that way for what seemed like forever, the snow flitting down around us as Elizabeth and I said nothing, just allowed our hearts to dance together in an eternal promise.
Because I was never going to let her go.
She pulled her head away to find my face, and I placed her back on her feet. One hand remained firm around her waist, and I brushed aside the hair stuck to the side of her face with the other. Contentment thrummed in my chest, while my need for Elizabeth only grew.
Her eyes were all alight, tender, that honeyed-amber swimming with what I felt beating steadily within my heart.
From the moment I saw her, I knew something about her was different. I just never imagined it would change my life.
It was Elizabeth who pushed the moment. She lifted to her toes and pressed her lips to mine. Her mouth came so cautious and slow, testing, though I felt nothing there that told me she was still unsure. The questions between us no longer remained. Both my hands slid to her hips, and I pulled her as close as I possibly could then wound one hand back up her spine to the base of her neck.
I kissed her slowly, savored her unhurriedly. There was nothing carnal to this kiss. But still, it was enough to reignite the ache she’d left me with for so many months.
Hell, this girl had managed it with one look.
I smiled against her lips, still unable to grasp that she’d brought me this far.
I could feel her grinning, too, before she pulled back. She pressed her lips together as if savoring the remnant of our kiss. “What?”
I shook my head, gripping her tight. “Nothing. I just didn’t realize anything could make me this happy.”
She hid her face in my chest and mumbled, “Neither did I.”
I dropped a kiss to her head and hugged her a little more. She shivered again. Who knew how much time had passed since we’d been standing out in the snow without our jackets.
I stepped back and grabbed two of her fingers because I found I really didn’t want to let her go. “You should get inside. It’s freezing out here.”
She cast a quick glance behind her at her building. The single window to her apartment remained a darkened square against the gray wall.
She turned back to me. “You want to come inside?”
Did I? My body answered with a resounding Hell, yeah. No doubt, the second we crossed her threshold it would be all over. There’d be hands and flesh and need that would no longer be denied. No longer could anything or anyone stop this attraction that had grown, transformed, and solidified as this bond that could not be broken.
My eyes skimmed over her face. Even though she looked up at me with the same desires that spun a path through my veins and coiled in my muscles, I didn’t miss the weariness that lay as purple smudges beneath her eyes.
I shook my head. “No, not tonight.”
Disappointment creased her forehead, and I drew her to me and kissed her again before I pushed my mouth near her ear. “Of course I want to, Elizabeth.” I flattened myself to her. “But I’m not going to. Let’s do dinner tomorrow, instead. I want that time with you, just knowing it’s you and me. Can we do that?”
She sighed and nodded against my chest before she smiled lightly up at me. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
I dropped a small kiss to her mouth plus one against her nose. “Do me a favor and go climb underneath a blanket. You’re frozen.”
She laughed. “Okay.”
She stepped back and hooked her index finger with mine. She swayed our hands between us. “I’ll miss you.”
I’d been missing her for months and I didn’t even know it. “Me, too. I’ll see you tomorrow, though, okay?”
Finally, she dropped her hand, turned, and walked away. At the door, she paused to look at me once, before she pulled the door open and slipped inside.
I wrapped my arms over my chest in an attempt to shield myself from the cold, my attention trained upstairs. Her light flicked on. Five seconds later, Elizabeth pressed her face to the window. She smiled this wistful smile and placed both hands against the glass.
I stood there with my hands shoved in my pockets, rocking back on my heels as I stared up at her. That spot inside expanded and I loved her a little more.
No one could ever come close to this girl, the way she made me feel, what she made me see. We belonged together.
I lifted a hand in a small wave. Her fingers curled on the window, and her expression filled with that same tenderness she had looked at me with for so long. I hoped she could see the same in mine.
Chapter Eleven
Elizabeth
The knock at my door jerked me to my feet. My thoughts raced everywhere, and my nerves only skyrocketed knowing who awaited me on the other side of the door.
I hurried across the room, sidestepping my purse. I’d dropped it in the middle of the floor when I came in last night and rushed to the window to catch another glimpse of Christian before he walked away. I guess I’d needed an affirmation. Something to prove what had just transpired between us had been real. And it was, there in his expression, the same thing I felt reflected back at me.
Of course I’d known I was in love with him before, though the realization had gutted me. Rather than joy, I’d felt only pain, my feelings for him nothing more than a millstone around my neck.
But last night had changed everything, and peering down at him had revealed something greater to me. Joy had firmly taken root in my heart as a future unfolded before my eyes, snapped into place like the jagged pieces of a puzzle, ones that didn’t seem to fit but always belonged together.
We’d been raised so differently. Maybe it was those differences that made us so perfect for each other.
I opened the door to Christian standing there with his hands shoved deep in his coat pockets. That mass of hair on his head was mussed, framing his face. A clean shave had erased any trace of the shadow that usually had set by this time of day. It accentuated every sharp line and contour of his jaw. The curve of a gentle smile lifted one side of his mouth.
“Hey,” he said, his head tilting to the side. He drew his shoulders up as his face bled into a timid grin.
“Hey.” I could feel the flush make its way up my neck to tint my cheeks. Being around Christian had never been easy. It’d always been a feat of wills, brute strength and iron-clad resolve. I’d become almost accustomed to it until I stood before him now.
With all of our reservations out of way, I felt like a different girl.
Blue eyes gleamed as they traveled along my face and kissed along the length of my body.
Thick laughter jutted from his throat as he took me in.
I bit back a smile as another rush of heat flared on my face.
This morning when I’d talked to him on the phone, he asked me to wear the same thing I’d worn to the party last Friday. I knew under his coat he’d be wearing the same tight black T-shirt, and that his dark jeans would be a taunting me from where they hung low on his hips
He wanted a redo.
I wanted one, too.
“
Come here,” he said under his breath, one hand reaching out to beckon me forward. I didn’t hesitate to nestle into his chest. He wrapped both arms around me, rocked me as he hugged me close. Gentle lips pressed to the top of my head. “You look amazing.” I felt his laughter rather than heard it. “Why didn’t I just tell you before?” His voice dropped as he burrowed his mouth farther into my hair. “Why couldn’t I just tell you I wanted to make love to you?”
Tingles shot down my spine with his words, and I nuzzled my nose deeper into his chest.
“Why didn’t I tell you I was confused and scared by everything you made me feel instead of running away from you?”
Shaking my head, I looked at him. “I don’t regret it at all, Christian. I’m mean, don’t get me wrong...last week hurt...and I hate having spent those days without you, but I have to believe it finally forced us to admit things we were too scared to see. If it hadn’t have happened, I’d probably be sitting on your couch instead of standing here like this with you.” I clung to him and whispered, “And this is really where I want to be.”
Christian’s hands came up to cup my jaw, gently prodding. I lifted my eyes to his. Emotion softened every hard angle of his face, and that place reserved for him fluttered inside. He dipped his head and pressed a sweet kiss to the edge of my mouth.
“This is the only place I want to be, Elizabeth...with you.”
My forehead fell back to his chest to hide the heat that rushed to my cheeks. I breathed him in, loved the way he smelled, loved everything about him.
There was no more holding back, no more questioning what we were or where we were going.
“Are you ready to get out of here?” he asked.
“Yeah.” I stepped back.
“Be sure to grab a warm coat and a scarf. It’s freezing out there.”
I nodded and turned back into my studio to gather my things. Christian followed right behind and stood in the middle of my apartment. Just watching me. I kept glancing up at him, and each time it was the same. I’d catch him with the same expression on his face, the one that fluttered my pulse and sent a tumult of butterflies tipping through my stomach.
Hands shaking, I struggled to pull my heavy coat over my sweatshirt.
He stepped to me, his voice all breathy and matching everything I felt inside. “Here...let me help you with that.”
He slipped the coat over my shoulders and tugged at the collar to straighten it, grinning when it caused me to stumble forward into him. Leaning in close, he reached behind me to free the hair trapped in the confines of my coat, and ran his long fingers through the length with a satisfied smile coming over his face.
“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve imagined my hands in your hair.” He lifted a handful and slowly let each piece fall away, the strands tickling at my neck as his sweet breath trickled over my face.
I couldn’t help but laugh as I buttoned my coat, my brow cinching with a playful scowl. “Oh, I distinctly remember them being there before. Have you forgotten so easily?” I was surprised by the tease that found its way from my mouth.
But I didn’t want that night to be remembered as an obstacle, when in reality, it’d been our launching pad.
A throaty chuckle seeped into the room, and Christian shook his head as he placed his hands on my hips. “No, Elizabeth, I haven’t forgotten. That night has been ingrained in my mind as one of the best and worst nights of my life...the night I first kissed you and was foolish enough to lose you in the same heartbeat.” All pretenses fell from his face, and his hands tightened their hold. “I promise you—that will never happen again.”
I believed it—I wouldn’t accept him any other way.
Something like distress darkened his eyes. “I mean it, Elizabeth. This is it for me.”
My fingers came up to coax his worry lines away from his brow. “I know, Christian.” My palm slid down his cheek to rest on the steady tick of his pulse in his neck. I wet my lips, and made my own promise. “I trust you.”
Relief flooded him, loosening his tense muscles and chasing the storm from his eyes, my words the cure for whatever vestiges of doubt that still remained.
Taking one step back, he grabbed my hand and brought the back to his lips. The heavy moment was gone. In its place, I sensed his thrill. It spilled over onto me.
“Come on.” He hauled me toward the door. “I want to take you out. You denied me this before, you know.”
A smirk arched his brow, this playful ease coming over us, one we’d shared so many times, but with our barriers still set firmly in place.
This was liberating.
I squeezed his hand and worked to keep up as I followed him out the door. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.” He tossed a grin back at me, and I pulled the door shut behind us.
He led me out and down the hall, didn’t let go as he dragged me into the stairwell. As always, it was dim, the walls seemingly compressed, the air instantly tight. Just being in its confines, alone with him, escalated my heart rate.
I gasped when Christian abruptly turned and pushed me up against the wall. His mouth crashed into mine as he covered me with his body. This kiss was hot, demanding, filled with every ounce of the desire we’d kept restrained for far too long. My fingers dug into his neck as his fingers dug into my backside.
And I loved it, every second. God, I loved him.
When he pulled away, much too soon, he was panting, his blue eyes wild and his mouth dancing with a smug, satisfied smile. “Do you have any idea how many times I wanted to do that? This fucking stairwell has been the bane of my existence for the last four months.”
A strained laugh fluttered from my mouth, doing nothing to disguise the intense need that tightened my voice. “You felt that, too, huh?”
He laughed and shook his head, his posture softening as he drew me closer and completely wrapped me up in his secure arms. “You don’t even understand, Elizabeth. You’ve pretty much made me think I was losing my mind since the moment I met you.”
My head dropped to his chest, my fingers playing along the buttons of his coat as I averted my gaze. I loved hearing him voice it, to touch me and tell me he had felt the same way I did. “I’m pretty sure I do.”
I risked peeking up at him. God, he was beautiful. Every inch, angle, and curve.
“How did we manage to stay away from each other for this long?”
My hands fisted in his jacket. “Honestly, I have no clue.”
Grabbing my hand again, he guided me down the rest of the steps and out into the cold. The sun had set a couple hours earlier and the city had come alive. Cars and taxis filled the streets, the lights glowing overhead in the frosty air.
I shivered, and Christian wrapped an arm around my waist. I cuddled into the warmth of his side. He planted a kiss on my temple.
I exhaled and snuggled closer.
This was nothing short of perfection.
We walked down to the intersection where it was easier to find a cab. I hopped in the first we could find, Christian laughing as he climbed in behind me. He pulled me right to his side, sloppily kissing me under my jaw.
Everything soared, a sensation of weightlessness washing me in joy.
“Where to?” the cabbie asked.
Wide eyed and teasing, I jerked my head to face him. “Yeah, where to?”
Christian rambled off the address as he draped his arm over my shoulder.
Downtown.
The ride was short, and I was laughing outright by the time Christian was pulling me from the cab and running us in the direction of The Rink at Rockefeller Center.
“We’re going ice skating? Are you serious?” I yelled at the back of his gorgeous head as he twisted us through the crowd, his hand firm on mine, never letting go.
He looked back at me, so carefree.
My best friend.
His hands were in my hair, pressed to the sides of my head when he whirled around to kiss me in the middle of the roving crowd. “
Where else would I take my girl except where she wants to go?”
He paid for our tickets and skates, both of us fumbling, cracking up as we put on our skates and tentatively ventured out onto the ice. His hands were never far, his mouth at my neck, at my ear, and at my mouth. Our words were flirty, easy, exactly what I wanted us to be.
My best friend.
He kissed me against the railing, when I fell and he helped me up, when we returned our skates and wandered hand-in-hand back out into the city.
He stopped in front of a large window at a little pizza place. Candles glowed from each round table crammed into the small space. “How’s this?”
“Looks good.”
We were seated toward the back. It was quaint inside, nothing fancy, just the two of us and a natural flow of conversation. Effortless.
We ordered a pizza to share, neither of us hesitating to dig in as soon as it was served.
Under the table, his hand rested on my knee, his thumb a constant caress.
He took a bite of pizza and glanced up at me with affection swimming in his eyes.
Never had I imagined ending up with someone like him. What I had pictured, I wasn’t quite sure. Safe, I supposed. Simple and plain. Someone who worked hard and loved just because he should. Someone who wanted a family and an easy life. Someone who I’d meet years in the future.
But Christian was none of those things. He was complicated, both selfish and kind, thoughtful and mindless, generous with a tendency toward greed.
And he was anything but plain. This beautiful man stole my breath with a simple look and had me shaking with the mere brush of his hand.
Once, Christian had been a mistake I couldn’t afford. Now, he’d become someone I didn’t want to live without. My pulse stuttered as I looked at him.
He looked so much like the type of guy I’d sworn never to give myself to. My heart recognized the risk. He could so easily crush me, but Christian had become my welcomed complication.
Black hair brushed over his forehead as he cocked his head to the side in a silent question, obviously wondering where my thoughts had wandered.
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