by Zoey Parker
I opened the box and saw a gorgeous blouse and pleated skirt resting on a bed of pink tissue paper. My parents weren't wealthy and they tended to buy their clothes from Target or JCPenney, but I could tell they'd paid a lot for this outfit. A stunning brooch of gold and emeralds was perched on top of the blouse.
“The brooch was your great-grandmother's,” Mom said. “She was one of Chicago's first female attorneys, and she wore it to court every day. The rest is from Saks.”
“Mom, Dad...I don't know what to say,” I said, feeling a lump in my throat. I didn't want to cry, but I wasn't sure I could help it.
“You don't have to say anything,” Mom said, kissing me on the forehead. “Every time you put it on, just try to remember how much we love you and believe in you.”
“And we always will,” Dad added gruffly, sniffling and ruffling my hair affectionately.
“I will,” I said. “Even when I don't have it on, I'll always remember that.”
Mom and Dad looked at each other uneasily. “Well, I guess we'd better be getting home before the traffic gets too bad,” Dad sighed. “I know you've got a lot of unpacking and settling in to do.”
Mom nodded, and I realized that neither of them really wanted to go. For the first time, I understood how much they'd enjoyed having me live with them, and I was worried that they'd be sad now that my room was empty. I hoped they'd be okay.
“I'll come visit next weekend,” I offered, “if that works for you?”
Dad smiled heavily. “We'll see,” he said.
“Your father means if you want to come and spend time with us, that would be lovely,” Mom added. “But we can wait until it's closer to make plans. You have your own life now, with a job and a place to yourself, and probably soon there'll be friends and boys...”
“Mom,” I said, feeling myself blush.
“...and that's what weekends are for,” Mom finished, patting my shoulder. “So we'll see. Until then, call, okay? Not every day, just sometimes. So we'll know how you're doing.”
“I will,” I promised.
I had no idea how soon I'd have to break that promise to them.
Chapter 3
Rafe
The rest of the hours ticked away as I sat in my cell until it was finally time to leave.
Clyde came to open my cell door and lead me to the processing area. I almost expected him to take me on a detour to a supply closet or something and beat me to death on Jester's orders since everyone else had failed. He was just a hack and in spite of how fair he'd seemed during my time there, on the outside, hacks were just men with gambling debts and vulnerable families. Just about anyone could be bought or threatened. I'd seen it lots of times before.
Instead, Clyde took me to the warehouse-like room I'd originally walked through seven years ago. There was a plexiglass window with a pass-through drawer in it. Behind it were shelves of boxes stacked all the way to the ceiling. Each one was taped shut and labeled with the name and ID number of the prisoner whose belongings it held. Since I was the only one scheduled for release today, I didn't have to wait in line.
The guard behind the glass was the same one who'd processed me when I came in. He'd looked about a hundred and fifty years old the first time I'd seen him, and I was surprised he hadn't retired since then. He had my box in front of him already and was slowly cutting the tape with a box-cutter. He removed each item with trembling, liver-spotted hands, placing them in the pass-through one by one.
“Logan, Rafe,” he wheezed, making check-marks in his notebook. “Prisoner number 09L281. One pair of boots, snake skin. One pair of socks, black. One pair of underwear, black. One pair of jeans, blue. One t-shirt, black. One denim vest, War Reaper patch. One cigarette lighter, silver. One wrist watch, silver, black leather band. One Swiss Army knife.”
He pulled a lever and the pass-through drawer opened on my side of the glass. I gathered up my stuff and let Clyde lead me to the table across the room. I stripped down in front of him for the final time, tossing the prison uniform on the table and slipping into my real clothes. Their original smell of sweat and machine grease had been mostly eclipsed by the moth balls they'd been packed in, and the t-shirt was a little tight around my chest and shoulders from all the exercise I'd done while in prison.
Still, I finally felt like a human again instead of just a fucking ant in an ant farm, indistinguishable from all the rest.
Better than that, when I put on my cut, I finally felt like a Reaper again.
Clyde led me to the tall doors on the other side of the room and signaled to another guard behind another plexiglass window. As the heavy doors rolled apart from each other, the sunlight hit my face and I squinted, smiling. I'd been in the prison yard almost every day since I'd gotten there so I'd seen plenty of sunlight, but this felt different. In there, the sunlight was a cruel tease of freedom that could never be had inside the stone walls. No matter how bright it was, the light from it still felt cold somehow.
This time, it felt warm and welcoming.
Clyde walked me out into the breezy air and up to the front gates. He gestured to another guard behind another plexiglass window and the gates pulled back. I listened to the crunch of gravel under my boots and felt the old swagger in my hips again. I realized Clyde wasn't walking with me anymore, and turned to look at him. He stood at the doors, looking at me with raised eyebrows.
“I reckon I'll be seeing you again real soon, Logan,” Clyde said.
“Only in your head, Clyde,” I replied, “and only when you're jerking off. Have a nice life, though.”
Clyde smirked and stepped back inside. He never took his eyes off me as the doors rolled shut.
I knew there was a shuttle that would show up in a few minutes to take me back to the city. But before I could walk over to the bus stop, I heard a series of loud honks from a car horn, accompanied by loud yelling and death metal music. I peered down the road and saw a cloud of dust getting closer.
Son of a bitch, I thought, laughing. The fuckers actually came to pick me up. They remembered.
The Reapers’ War Chariot skidded to a halt in front of the Potawatomi gates. The doors immediately sprung open to reveal Boomer, Ditch, and Sperm, three of my best friends from the MC. Boomer practically tackled me as he wrapped his huge arms around me, his burn-scarred face beaming. The other two embraced me a second later, hooting with excitement and clapping me on the shoulders.
“How the fuck are you, man?” Boomer exclaimed, releasing me. “Jesus, did you do anything except lift weights in there? Your arms are the size of goddamn tree trunks.”
“Hey, I'm sure he found time to do other stuff, like bite a pillow or two,” Sperm guffawed.
I cuffed him playfully on the back of the head. “Nah, they didn't have anyone as pretty as you in there, Sperm,” I jeered. “Hey, how's your mother?”
“Still not as fat as yours,” Sperm answered. The other two laughed as Sperm and I launched into the ritual we'd had ever since he joined the Reapers. “Your mamma's so fat that when she went to KFC, they asked her what size bucket she wanted and she said, 'The one on the roof.'”
I figured I was out of practice, but hey, what the hell. “Yeah? Well, your mamma's so fat that when God said 'Let there be light,' he asked her to move out of the way.”
“Your mamma's so ugly that she went into a haunted house and came out with a job application!” Sperm snapped back with a grin. Clearly, he'd been preparing these for quite a while.
“Sperm, your mamma's pussy is so loose, she can grab the lips, flap 'em, and fly away like a fuckin' bat.”
We went back and forth like that a few more times until we heard the voice of the guard in the outer tower barking through the PA system. “This ain't no comedy club, boys! Now get in your van and piss off before we find a reason to keep you here.”
Boomer displayed his middle finger to the guard and we hopped into the van, speeding back to Chicago. On the way, we stopped at a roadside diner and I ordered a big plate of tu
rkey with gravy and fresh mashed potatoes.
It was the best damn meal I'd ever had.
Chapter 4
Rafe
When I stepped through the front door of the Devil's Nest, I almost jumped out of my skin as an entire room full of Reapers yelled, “Surprise!”
There were clusters of black balloons arranged at every table and a huge banner that read “Welcome Home, Rafe!” was strung from the ceiling. There was a large cake on the bar with chocolate and vanilla frosting arranged in the shape of the War Reapers symbol.
I made a show of clutching my chest like I was having a heart attack. “Jesus Christ, guys! I just spent the past seven years looking over my shoulder an' you jump out at me like that? I could've shivved the lot of you!” They laughed.
Bard stepped forward. He was a short man with neatly-trimmed gray hair and glasses. Most people would look at someone like him and assume he was some kind of accountant or store manager. But then, most people hadn't seen Bard kick ass like I had.
“Congratulations on your newfound liberation,” Bard said, embracing me quickly and slapping my back.
The others came forward too, hugging me and shaking my hand. There was the usual chorus of prison food jokes, prison shower jokes, and all the other corny stuff that dudes like me got to hear when they got out of the joint. I'd heard them all before, but it didn't matter. At least I was finally home and surrounded by the people who cared about me.
Nic came over and handed me a shot of whiskey. A curvy, dark-haired woman in a black cocktail dress was with him. “Good to see you again, man,” Nic said. “This is my wife Lauren.”
“It's a pleasure to meet you, Rafe,” Lauren said, smiling and shaking my hand. “Nic's told me so much about you. I hope you liked the cake and the banner. I made them myself. Nic tried doing the cake himself, but...”
“Yeah, that ended badly,” Nic said, grinning. “It turns out that mixing up cake batter requires a different skill set than repairing a bike transmission. Who knew, right?”
“Nice to meet you, Lauren,” I replied. I swallowed the shot and smacked Nic on the arm. “Holy fuck, Nic! You got married? Never thought I'd see that happen. What the hell else did I miss while I was inside?”
Before Nic could answer, Boomer put an arm around my shoulder and poked a cigarette between my lips. For the first time, I noticed that he was wearing the Sergeant-at-Arms patch that used to belong to Nic. “So Rafe, now that you're a free man, what's the first thing you're gonna do?” Boomer asked. “Get laid?”
“Yeah, with Sperm's mom!” one of the Reapers in the back called out. The others laughed.
“Pffft, seven years in the slammer an' even I wouldn't lay Sperm's mom,” I answered, prompting more laughter. I lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply. The food at Potawatomi was shitty, but the worst part had been the fucking smoking ban.
“No,” I continued, blowing a smoke ring, “the first item on my fuckin' to-do list is settling up with Jester for the frame job he pulled on me and for the four times he paid people off to put the knife in me up there. For that, I'm gonna send him someplace where it's very hot and there's plenty of pitchforks to go around. That's all I've been able to think about since I went away. So until that's done, I figure everything else can wait.”
I noticed that Bard, Nic, and some of the others were starting to look uncomfortable. I looked around, confused. “What?” I asked. “That's not how we do things anymore? Did the Reapers turn into a goddamn ladies' sewing circle while I was gone or what?”
“Not quite,” Bard said softly. “But just to be clear, Jester's a capo for the Mancusos. You take him on, you take them all on. Is that really your intention?”
“Well, I wasn't gonna do it by myself,” I answered. “I mean, you guys have my back, right? You saw what that animal and his schizo niece did to me. These patches are more than just a fashion statement, last time I checked.”
“Of course, man,” Nic replied calmly. “You had seven years stolen from you over some bullshit, and it sucks. You want revenge and you deserve it. Any other year, we'd all be foaming at the mouth to help you get it, even if it meant going to war for it. But this ain't any other year.”
“You're fuckin'-A right it ain't,” I answered hotly, wondering what the hell I was hearing. “This is the year I can finally get payback. 'Cause guess what? The last seven weren't. And now you're telling me that if I want it, what, I'm on my own? Is that it?”
Bard put his hands on my shoulders, looking into my eyes. That steely stare of his was always tough to read, and tougher to push back against. I realized how quiet the room had gotten.
“You're a Reaper, Rafe,” said Bard. “Every man in this room is your brother. You never have to question their loyalty, or mine. If you want to go after Jester and the Mancusos and you want us to back your play, all you ever have to do is ask and we'll be right there with you, to the bitter end.”
“Well, that's good to fuckin' hear,” I said, finishing the cigarette and crushing it in the nearest ash tray. “You had me worried for a moment. Now let's grab the guns, find this asswipe, and...”
Bard held up a hand. “But before you ask for that, I want you to come to the back room. Growler wants to say hello.”
I followed Bard to the back room, confused. When I hadn't seen Growler standing with the others earlier, I'd assumed he must have been running late or sleeping off a hangover. The Nest had never quite seemed like the Nest unless the grizzled VP was standing behind the bar and pouring out whiskey shots. So why was he in the back?
Bard opened the door and gestured for me to walk in ahead of him. I did and looked at the figure sitting in a chair in the corner. For a moment, I couldn't understand who he was or why he was there instead of Growler.
Then I realized it actually was Growler and felt my knees go loose with shock. I reached out for a nearby chair to steady myself.
The last time I'd seen Growler, he'd been a huge and muscular man who'd always stood tall with a mischievous gleam in his eye. But now the muscles in his body had wasted away severely—at least, the parts of his body he still had left. His left eye was gone, along with the ear on that side. His right arm had been cut off at the shoulder. Both feet were missing and I could see they'd been replaced with weird prosthetics of sloping black metal.
In his lap, he held a small blackboard. In blue chalk, he'd written “Welcome back!”
“Jesus goddamn fuck, Growler,” I breathed. “What happened to you?” My brain couldn't make sense of what I was looking at. Every time I tried, it felt like cars crashing together in my skull.
The Reapers were a tough bunch, and we all knew that we might be killed in a fight someday, or maybe even have to live with being maimed in a crash. But I couldn't imagine what could have caused something so ugly to happen to a friend of mine.
Growler turned the blackboard around, erased the words on it, and wrote new ones. He turned the board around again to display them. “You think this is bad? Tongue, Balls, Cock = GONE!” Next to it, he'd drawn a smiley face.
I felt like I might throw up. Instead, I turned to Nic and Bard, trying to form the right words and failing. “How...what did...?”
“There's a lot you need to hear about what went down this past year,” Nic said.
“Then you'd better start talking,” I said. “But first, give me another fucking cigarette.”
Bard gave me a smoke and lit it while Nic told me what had happened. When Kong had gotten out of Joliet after a three-year stretch, the rest of the Reapers had thrown him a party, too. Except that Vole, a big-timer in the Bonaccorso crime family, had shown up and completely fucked up the party, resulting in a shoot-out that ended with two dead Bonaccorsos and one dead Kong.
Giovanni, the head of the Bonaccorso family, had demanded Nic's head since he was the one who'd killed one of the mob guys. When the Reapers told Giovanni to get fucked, he'd kidnapped Growler and spent six weeks torturing him.
“Why the fuck am I just hearing a
bout this now?” I demanded. “They got phones in Potawatomi, you know. The goddamn mail still runs, last time I checked.”
“Phone calls and letters are monitored,” Nic pointed out patiently. “You know that, Rafe. Anything we said could have been intercepted by the cops. We hated that we couldn't tell you.”
“This isn't even all of the damage,” Bard said, pointing to Growler. “Bedbug got his spine shattered with baseball bats, and Tink and Panzer got stabbed up in Joliet.”
“All because of me,” Nic added. He couldn't hide the shame in his voice. “Because the Reapers went to war against the most powerful crime family in the city over one fuckin' guy.”
“But you won, right?” I asked. “I mean, you must have, or you wouldn't be here.”