by Victoria Sue
“No, thank you,” Taegan said quietly, at a loss of what to do. He always had a purpose: kill as many wolves and save as many humans as he could. He was … confused.
“Then I suggest you try and sleep as well. If he stirs, you will wake. I am just outside if you need me.”
Taegan fixed his gaze back on the wolf … Caleb. Taegan’s heart slowed as his panic lessened. It had to have been a close thing, and he didn’t want to think about what might have happened if he’d slept longer or stayed longer at the cottage. Taegan grimaced wryly. One minute he was warning his mom he may have to kill him as the monster he might turn out to be, the next he was wrapped up closer to him than any man or woman in a long time. Monster? Taegan rolled the word around in his head. He didn’t look like a monster, and he hoped he wouldn’t turn out to be. Taegan huffed and told himself it was only because he didn’t want to waste his time trying to save his life, only to have to end it tomorrow.
• • •
Had he died? He was warm, and Caleb was never warm. The room he was kept in never had a fire, and he was never given clothes. He had a thin blanket and straw to lay on, and that was it. He was dreaming, he must be. He couldn’t be dead because the same gnawing hunger rolled in his belly. The same dry throat scratched, and the same sense of futility wrapped him up. Caleb frowned, not wanting to open his eyes. What was that smell? Smoke, wood burning? It was odd. Caleb let his mind drift. He had been so cold before but the heat of whatever he lay on seemed to warm him right through. His heart beat loud and strong in his ears. The definite thump thump soothing as—
Panic catapulted him fully conscious even though his body whimpered to be left alone as the warm breath ghosted over his neck. It wasn’t his heartbeat slow and steady in his ears. It wasn’t his pallet he lay on but a living, breathing thing, and he wasn’t dreaming of the arms he was wrapped tight in. Caleb’s heart nearly exploded as he tried to move. He was pinned, trapped. He fought. He was drowning, suffocating. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, could barely see. Didn’t want to see. He dimly heard shouting, cries, and then his prison was gone and he was curled on a bare floor gulping air and choking on sobs.
“Caleb, Caleb.” It took a few times until the voice registered over the pounding of his heart and the blood rushing through his head. “Caleb.” He shrank back as the big hand settled on him. This was when they would beat him. This was when the pain would start and never stop until he lost consciousness. He curled up. Even as the cold floor leached into him he pressed closer as if he could just disappear into it. Please, goddess. Just let me die. He was sorry for his father’s sins, his betrayal. But hadn’t he paid enough? When would it stop? When would it just be over?
He whimpered again, not trusting the hands that touched him. Sure that their warmth was a lie. That their gentleness was merely to soften him so that the pain when it came would hurt even more. It would be so easy to pretend. He was so ready to simply give up, and as the hands that gently gathered him off the stone floor and cradled him to a warm chest, he hoped that it was the last time.
Chapter Four
“What’s wrong with him?” Taegan breathed out the words as his heart stopped threatening to break out of his chest. He stared down at the limp bundle in his arms. It looked like he had passed out.
“Did he say anything?” Silas picked up the blanket Taegan had torn from them both before Caleb had hurt himself and gently draped it over the young man. Taegan shook his head helplessly.
“I was asleep, and then all of a sudden it was as if he panicked. He was fighting for breath and couldn’t get free, so I pulled the blankets off and he fell off the pallet. Couldn’t get away fast enough, but even then he didn’t try and run.” Taegan was at a loss. “I don’t understand any of this. It would be nothing for a wolf to shred the blankets if he wished, nothing to fight me.” Taegan stared helplessly at the bruised shadows and the pale face. “Why couldn’t he keep himself warm?”
Silas frowned, inhaled, and gestured to the old chair in the corner. “Sit. Keep him close and warm. If he panics again, I don’t want him injuring himself. I can smell wolf but it is so faint it seems barely there.”
“He’s not a child,” Taegan protested but he obediently went and sat down with Caleb in his arms.
Silas put the water onto the small oil burner and pulled some tea out. “This will calm him. It contains a poppy extract barely susceptible to wolves. If he were a human it would knock him on his ass, but it will merely relax him so he will not panic and you can talk.” Silas brewed the tea and then cooled it with some cold water. “Do not drink it yourself,” Silas cautioned as he handed the cup to Taegan, quickly picked up the choking collar from the table, and fastened it around Caleb’s neck.
Taegan winced as he remembered the feel of it around his own neck. Silas smiled at Taegan’s reaction and then walked to the door. “Where are you going?” Taegan said, mildly panicked himself.
“He will smell wolf and he has already panicked. I honestly don’t think he is in any condition to attack you, but I should have done this earlier. He is after all a werewolf even if he doesn’t look strong. We both know the damage he could do in seconds should he shift. I will be just outside.” Silas closed the door behind him.
Taegan sighed. What the hell was he doing? He wasn’t a nursemaid. Then he remembered the kids. They had been gone three days and they needed information urgently to find them. He had to get the drug down the wolf’s throat before he realized what was happening. He dribbled a tiny bit of tea onto the wolf’s lips, and thankfully he swallowed automatically. “That’s better,” Taegan murmured. He felt Caleb stir and he didn’t want the same reaction. “You’re safe,” he lied wishing inexplicably he didn’t have to. He held the fragrant tea to Caleb’s lips once more. He sipped at it slowly, eyes fluttering but not opening. “There,” Taegan murmured. It was like soothing a hurt animal. He could feel the breaths rise and fall as he was held close, see the pulse beat faster in his neck, knew he was waking up. He held up the tea once more, and Caleb sipped again. It was at least half gone and should be calming him down now. He felt the sigh as Caleb’s body moved, his eyes fluttering. He waited calmly while Caleb’s golden brown eyes tried to focus, half expecting the panic from earlier, but he only saw confusion and tiredness as the wolf tried to focus on him. Taegan offered the cup without speaking, and Caleb obediently drank. He blinked slowly and breathed deeply. Any second, he would recognize him but the eyes that settled on Taegan were dazed and there didn’t seem to be any fear in them.
“Do you know who I am?” Taegan decided to see if he was amenable to questions.
Caleb’s eyes narrowed slightly and he stared at Taegan and shook his head. Then he yawned, his eyes sliding shut.
“We need to ask you some questions,” Taegan started, and Caleb seemed to have to force his eyes open. Taegan offered the last of the tea and Caleb obediently finished it. “Have you seen two human children newly captured in the last few days?”
“No,” Caleb slurred the word and his eyes drooped.
Taegan frowned. “What happens to the new slaves?” Taegan nudged Caleb’s leg as the wolf’s eyes were nearly closed. Caleb sighed, forced his eyes open but they slid shut again as if he didn’t hear the question.
Taegan’s jaw dropped as the werewolf breathed out a long sigh and relaxed into his arms, closing his eyes. This was ridiculous. “Silas,” he called out softly and the wolf came back into the room quickly. “You got the dose wrong,” Taegan fumed.
“Not possible,” Silas said immediately, bending down and shaking Caleb’s leg as Taegan had done. Caleb cracked open an eyelid.
“I am wolf,” Silas pronounced somberly. “What is your pack?”
Caleb seemed to force his eyes wide and shook his head a little to clear it. “I-I have no pack,” he whispered the words.
“Your uncle is Alpha. Of course, you have a pack,” Silas said firmly.
“No,” Caleb repeated. “I am cast out.” He yawned
and his sad eyes drooped until they closed. His head lolled back onto Taegan’s shoulder.
Taegan looked at Silas. “You said it would relax him. It’s like he’s had three skins of wine.” Silas straightened up and he seemed to stare at Caleb, who was fast asleep. “What’s casting out?” Taegan asked. “I’ve never heard of it.”
“That’s because it’s so old it’s non-existent,” Silas sighed and pulled over the other chair. “When the humans mastered the wolves there were two punishments—”
“Banishment or death,” Taegan interrupted.
“No,” Silas shook his head. “Banishment to Arrides only became possible after the humans were defeated. Wolves were the property of the land owner to which they were tied. Many landowners had huge sprawling areas, but the wolves were not allowed to set foot off the land belonging to their owner. Should it ever happen, it was punishable by immediate execution, no excuses.”
Taegan knew the wolves had been treated just as barbarically by the humans. It was a vicious circle that seemed to have no ending. “And casting out?” Taegan prompted.
“It was the only self-regulating punishment the wolves had. You know how important pack is? That was why banishment is seen as worse than death to many wolves. The isolation for a pack animal can drive them insane within a few weeks.”
Taegan’s arms tightened unconsciously around the man still lain in his arms. “But he was there. In the pack.”
“He can still be physically present but emotionally isolated. If he’s been cast out it explains many things,” Silas said. “The wolves that are cast out may be either held captive or not, but they are forbidden any interaction with other wolves. Touch is a very powerful thing and denying it for a pack animal, especially when they can see others’ interaction, would be akin to torture.”
I will think of your dead friend when I claw out your heart.
Sorin’s heart. Taegan felt sick. Caleb hadn’t meant the words. He had baited Taegan and then he had just stood and waited for Taegan to kill him. He had wanted to die. The more Taegan thought about it, he became sure that’s what Caleb had hoped for.
“You think he’s crazy?” Taegan asked and held his hand out solemnly. Silas’s face softened, and he stood up and reached for the key to the choking collar. He quickly removed it and sat back down.
“I don’t know. It will depend on how long he has been isolated.”
“Should he be with you?” Taegan asked before he thought about what he was saying.
“You know I keep your secrets, but I will not keep any being captive,” Silas chided softly.
“I’m sorry,” Taegan said, not clarifying that to his shame he hadn’t given any thought to Caleb being secured. He had just meant to give him the comfort of another wolf. Some rebel leader he was.
Silas smiled. The dark brown eyes twinkling. “He seems to be attached to you, anyway.”
Taegan felt the heat rise in his face slightly. Silas had guessed what he meant. “He’s drugged,” Taegan protested, but Silas shook his head.
“I confess I am at a loss to understand how he was so strongly affected, but make no mistake, if he didn’t feel safe he would not be sleeping so easy. His wolf would sense danger unless he had been completely knocked out. I think he sleeps because he knows he can.” Silas smiled down at a sleeping Caleb. “He looks at home.”
“Getting back to that…” Taegan said quickly, not wanting to think about Silas’s words. There was still the fact Caleb was acting very un-wolf like. “Could the casting out be the reason his wolf didn’t keep him warm in the cage?”
“Unlikely, I think there may be another reason,” Silas said slowly. He smiled when Taegan glanced questioningly. “I would talk to him later, first.” Silas looked out of the window at the first faint crimson lights. “Why don’t you see if you can both sleep another hour?”
Taegan wanted to protest. He was always up at dawn to feed Skye but he wasn’t ready to leave Caleb’s care to anyone else yet … and he didn’t know why.
“I can stay in here if you feel threatened,” Silas said teasingly and Taegan glowered. “I will see you are not disturbed.” Silas pronounced and pulled closed the screen once more.
Taegan stared down at the sleeping young man at a complete loss. Caleb was a carnivore that would rip a human’s throat out in the blink of an eye. They still had the children to find, and he was here with his prisoner curled up asleep on his knee. Making him feel safe instead of making him fear for his life and tell them what they needed to know. The trouble was the wolf might just be as much a victim of the Alphas as they all were, and as Taegan leaned his head back in the chair and closed his eyes he finally acknowledged the other problem with Caleb being where he was.
Maybe the wolves were onto something with how powerful another’s touch could be. Not that he was starved for affection. His mom had been a loving presence every day of his life. There had been a woman once — Paerita. When he was younger, in the days when he thought he could fight for freedom and still have something for himself. He hadn’t realized that the two were mutually exclusive but he’d soon found out. Paerita had wanted a farmer for a life mate, not a rebel. She had been happy to wave him off when he set out to work but not when he set out to raid the pack’s food stores or to free slaves. On his last mission — three years ago now — he had nearly been caught and two of his men had died. When he had returned home she had been waiting up, and had given him a choice. She had cried and said she just wanted a quiet life, that the rebellion should be someone else’s problem now and they should settle down with children. Taegan had calmly asked her what would happen when any of the hoped-for children were collected by the silk gangs. Would it be their problem then?
He hadn’t waited for a reply, just picked up the bag she had packed for him and left. His mom had immediately taken him in, but two days later the rumors of a massacre reached him and the other local villages. He had joined some men and they had rushed to help, only to find out it was too late. The local Alpha had caught a priest sheltering some slaves and in retaliation he had razed the village. The cottages were burned out shells. And then they had come across the bodies. The wolves hadn’t even bothered to burn them all properly, and Paerita’s was still recognizable.
Taegan and the men had solemnly gathered them all up and buried them. It had taken them three days, and then he had left to join his mother, thankful that she had been living somewhere else. He had never forgiven himself. For ten years he had carried the memory, the stench of rotting and burning flesh, and found one more reason to hate the wolves and one more reason to feel guilty, and now he sat with a boy … no — man curled up in his lap and he wasn’t sure which of his feelings were affecting him the most. Guilt? It wasn’t the thought of Caleb being a wolf or even a man that sent a ripple of something up his spine. He didn’t care. The only grudging approval he would ever give the wolves was their lack of sexual inhibition. It mattered not whether the mate was male or female, it was all about the person themselves.
Silas’s words rolled around his head. He looks at home. Dangerous words. Words that made him wish for something he had given up in choosing the life he led, and he had made peace with that decision a long time ago.
So what was it about laying here comforting his greatest enemy that made him doubt it? Perhaps Caleb wasn’t the only one that needed his sanity questioning.
• • •
It was the quiet voices that eventually pierced Caleb’s sleep. He lay completely still for what seemed forever and listened. He knew instantly who had taken him but he didn’t understand why. If he was hoping to use Caleb to bargain he would be disappointed. He remembered the cell. Of being so cold, and begging the human for a blanket, being jeered at, and then somehow falling asleep. He wanted to drift back off and not worry anymore but his bladder was uncomfortably full and he was thirsty as well. He sighed quietly and risked peering through half raised eye-lids. There were two people. The prisoner; the man he had tried to bait into
killing him, and a woman. Softly spoken, and she seemed to be stirring something in a pot that smelled divine. Caleb’s belly rumbled weakly, and they both turned. Caleb instantly knew he was looking at mother and son. The same blue eyes and wide mouth. Gray hair on one and dark, almost black hair on another. The first face breaking out into a wide, delighted smile, the second a frown.
“Caleb.” The woman put down her spoon and dried her hands as she took the six or so steps to where he was lying. “How are you feeling?” Caleb didn’t flinch when she placed the palm of her hand on his forehead. “Nice and warm, anyway.” She smiled and cupped his face. “My name is Renee and I am very pleased to meet you.”
To Caleb’s horror, his eyes swam with sudden tears. No one had spoken to him with such gentleness in years. She tutted sympathetically and turned to the man. “Taegan, help him sit up while I finish the broth.”
Caleb tried not to cringe as the huge man loomed over him. “I — can I…” He trailed off in embarrassment but the man seemed to know what the problem was.
“We have an outhouse of sorts at the back. Follow me.” Caleb pushed off the blanket, relieved to see he was in loose cotton pants and rushed to stand. It was a bad idea. If Taegan hadn’t been close he would have been sprawled on the floor and the man caught him around the waist easily. He hissed in pain as the rebel touched his left arm. His legs refused to hold him up. He closed his eyes in despair, shame heating him.
“Whoa there,” Taegan said mildly and gently tucked Caleb’s arm into his side so it was protected. Caleb listened for the censure in his voice but there didn’t seem to be any. “Let’s take it slow.” Caleb stumbled down the tunnel to the entrance, ducked his head as he saw other humans watching him curiously, and gratefully relieved himself behind the screen while Taegan stood guard. He felt grubby but there was nothing to rinse his hands so he turned and stepped out from behind the screen. Caleb’s legs shook with the effort of holding him up, and Taegan reached out a steadying arm. Neither of them spoke as they walked back to the cave and Caleb sank gratefully back on the pallet bed. He was shivering again and reached for the blanket.