by Lia Lee
“I haven’t been up to much,” she said. As she hesitated, I again got the feeling there was something she wanted to say. “Just looking for a new job. Shape is going to close its doors.” Unexpected tears filled her eyes, and I wanted to pull her close and hold her.
I kept my hands to myself. I had to ease back into her life, I couldn’t just overwhelm her. I wanted to do this right.
“I take it your work found a home?” she teased, a gentle grin on her lips.
I nodded. “You could say that.”
Her expression suddenly changed. “I need this job,” she said with a soft intensity I didn’t expect.
“You’ve got it.”
Her eyes narrowed a little bit. “Just like that? No strings attached?”
I set my glass down and spread my hands. “Just like that. No strings attached.”
It wasn’t a lie. There were no strings attached, but I was going to win her back. I was going to make her mine.
Chapter Four
Aurora
“Want to look around?” Vlad’s velvet voice sent a shiver down my spine.
I nodded, taking a last sip of wine. He was quick to stand, and again I thought about how tall and imposing he was. His deep blue eyes had stayed locked on me the whole time we’d been here, and I realized the shorter hair made him look older. So did the slight crinkle at the corners of his eyes. But it was an attractive look. The years had been very, very kind to him. I could only wish they’d been as kind to me.
He offered his hand, and I took it, stunned by the jolt I felt. His warm fingers gripped mine, and he helped me to my feet. “You okay?” he asked, his lips dangerously close to my ear as he held onto me like he thought I was about to fall.
Not trusting my voice, I nodded, and he backed off a step. I swallowed hard, feeling my heart slam in my chest as his scent invaded my lungs with every breath. Every inch of me wanted to lean back into him just to feel his heat and inhale his scent. Yep, he was still as intoxicating as ever. But was he still as unhealthy as a drug too?
His fingers laced with mine as we walked the garden. The layout was so familiar I couldn’t help but ask.
“Did you model it after…” I couldn’t finish the thought. Not out loud, at least. But the memories washed over me like a tidal wave.
His eyes narrowed as he leaned in to kiss me. The rain had been pouring down all day, but that was okay—I wanted to be out in it. I wanted to feel the stinging cold, I wanted to feel alive.
His lips met mine, and all thoughts ground to a halt.
The heat of his lips made my mouth tingle, and the warmth flooded my body as he pulled me close. “I want to make love to you, Aurora,” he growled in my ear.
I wanted nothing more.
“I did.” His voice broke into my thoughts.
And it hit me—I’d missed this man. Sure, he’d asked for things he’d had no right to ask for. He had been jealous and possessive and downright cruel at times. But I’d always seen the good in him, even when he couldn’t see it in himself.
Besides, people changed. I’d changed. I was sure he had too. After all, the old Vlad would never have apologized.
And he’d apologized. For hurting me, for being so selfish. For the way he’d treated me. All the things I’d been holding against him.
We walked up on the cottage, and I drew in a deep breath. It was almost an exact replica of the one we’d spent so much time in during college.
“This is my cottage,” he said softly, letting go of my hand to open the door. I stepped in, and he followed me. “It’s nice to be able to sleep where I work when I need to.” There was a catch in his voice, as if there was more to it, but I didn’t push.
I looked around at the studio space as memories overwhelmed me. It was a modern version of the same place we’d spent those passionate months as a couple in. “It’s beautiful,” I whispered, turning to face him.
I noticed shadows in his eyes and wanted to hug him. Stepping in close, I wrapped my arms around him. His steely arms closed around me, and I held onto him, tilting my head back to look up at him. His eyes met mine, and I rose up on tiptoe. I needed to feel his lips on mine again. It had been too long.
And realization hit me: I was the bad one now. Because he was coming to me with open honesty and apologies for the things he’d done, but I wasn’t being honest with him. I was leaving out a very important detail. I hadn’t told him about our daughter.
My phone trilled, and I jolted back, snapped out of the mood. Vlad let me go as I pulled my phone out and answered the call, stepping out of the cottage and willing my heart to slow down.
“Hey, sorry to bother you,” the feminine voice on the other end said. “I’m Sara, the nurse at Ashley’s school. She’s running a fever.”
“I’ll be right there,” I said, icy fear washing through my veins.
I hung up the phone and turned to find Vlad studying me. And I saw my chance. How hard would it be to say “our daughter is sick?”
Too hard, obviously.
“Thank you for lunch. Just email me details and I’ll sign the paperwork as soon as it’s ready,” I said, backing away from him as he approached me. Shoving my phone in my purse, I stared at him.
He stopped moving toward me and nodded. “Francis has the packet for you,” he said, and the woman in question appeared suddenly at my elbow. She thrust a yellow manila envelope into my hand.
“Welcome to the team!” she said, shaking my hand as I stared at Vlad in stunned silence.
“Thank you,” I managed to whisper, but she was already gone.
“Welcome to the team,” he growled, offering his hand.
I stepped toward him and took his hand. The firm shake alone was enough to jump start that weird fluttering in my belly again. His touch still made my pulse go wild and my knees feel weak.
I needed to tell him the truth.
Another time.
“I’ve got to go,” I said, letting his hand go and backing up a step.
“I’ll see you out,” he said, stepping toward me again.
I jumped back. “It’s okay, I know the way.” With that, I spun on my heel and hurried from the building like the devil was right behind me. And he may well have been.
This was a mess. And I had no idea how to fix any of it.
Chapter Five
Vladmir
She’d been about to kiss me.
Fuck, I wanted to feel her lips on mine. It had been too damn long. Now, as I watched her escape on security cameras, I wondered what the hell had gone wrong. Everything had been going great. I’d been hopeful we could patch things up.
I’d made sure she knew the job was separate from us. She had the job, no matter if she rejected me or we became lovers. Because she was the best one for the job.
I’d covered my bases, said the things I’d needed to say—or a few of them, at least. It was going to take time to catch back up the way I wanted to.
It had been going well…until her phone had rung.
Then everything had changed. Every bit of her body language had snapped tight, and she’d closed off. She’d shut me right out. But the look on her face…that would stick with me for a while. Pure panic, regret, terror.
From the security cameras, I saw her climb into her car and grip the steering wheel for a moment like she was trying to get ahold of herself. I saw her chest inflate before slowly sinking again. And again. And again. Then she leaned forward and turned over the engine. A heartbeat later and she was pulling out of the parking garage and out of my life for now.
Was she seeing someone else?
I sat back in my chair, fingers steepled together and pressing to my lips.
The thought brought a flood of fury. Was I the other man in her life? Anger crackled like lightning in my blood, and I remind myself this had been a problem before. I had been too possessive, too demanding of her.
I wouldn’t be that man again.
But this felt…different.
Ye
s, I wanted her for myself. But I trusted her to tell me if she was with someone else. I trusted her. She had never been the one that had lied, never the one that had proved she was untrustworthy. That had always been me. And I wasn’t going to punish her for who I had been.
I was a better man now, but I admitted I wasn’t fucking perfect.
I felt like I didn’t know anything about her anymore. And she hadn’t been exactly forthcoming while we had been talking. It would be a good way to learn about her, to find out what I’d missed since she’d walked out of my life for nearly a decade.
That knowledge could help me get ahead. Could help me win her over.
But did I want to do things that way? Would she be pissed and think I was invading her privacy?
Likely.
My gaze found the simple, white card on my desk. It would be so easy to call him and tell him to be discreet. I’d done this kind of thing before when researching people that had proven themselves less than trustworthy.
I stood up and walked out of the office. In the garden, I took several deep breaths and struggled to get ahold of myself.
Her perfume lingered, and I inhaled.
And I planned. Pulling out my phone, I shot her a text.
Dinner?
And I waited. I paced. I stared at the plants and trailed a finger down a smudge on the glass of my cottage.
When she finally responded back, I couldn’t read the message fast enough.
Sorry, can’t.
Disappointment filled me. Maybe she was seeing someone else.
You could ask her, a little voice whispered in my mind. I didn’t like this. I felt so out of my depth here. I didn’t date. She’d been the first woman I was serious about and the last woman I’d really dated. Losing her had cut me so deeply I couldn’t even consider seeing other people. When I’d finally felt I’d healed a bit, I’d had no interest in other women. It had always been her.
I could push. I could ask her if she was free tomorrow. But something in me told me not to. Something warned me to back off right now or I risked pushing her further away.
Pacing back into my office, I stood in front of my desk and walked back and forth.
“I can replace the floors,” Paul said.
I didn’t even glance at him. “What’s wrong with the floors?” I growled, not feeling like dealing with his—or anyone else’s—shit right now.
“You’re going to wear a hole in them,” he said.
I stopped dead in my tracks to glare at him.
The light of humor left his eyes, and that frosty attitude took back over. “Did the interview go well?”
I nodded and resumed pacing.
“Excellent. Have a wonderful day.” With that, he left.
My gaze fell on that card again. The private investigator was only a call away. And with her refusing to see me, I might have to resort to something else. I wouldn’t lose her again. I couldn’t lose her again. The first time it had felt like the very life was being squeezed from my chest. This time…who knew if I’d survive it?
“Be patient.”
I turned and caught the smile on Francis’ face.
“She’ll come around. Give her time,” she added.
“Excuse me?” I’d never shared details with her or anyone else.
“You heard me,” she said, walking into the room and dropping off a package. “I’m off for the night. Take care of yourself.” She smiled at me and left the room.
If there was another man in Aurora’s life, I was going to trust her to come to me and tell me that.
If she had secrets, I was going to trust her to come to me when the time was right.
If I wanted to know about her past, I was going to ask her like a fucking human being rather than going behind her back.
I needed to do this right. I wouldn’t lose her again. So I had to be by the book here.
She’ll come around. Give her time.
“You better be right,” I growled under my breath.
Chapter Six
Aurora
“I’m fine, Mom!” With a sigh, Ashley pushed my hand away from her forehead where I’d been feeling for a fever.
I studied her, still worried and searching for flushed cheeks or glitteringly bright eyes. The illness the school had called about had turned out to be a stomach bug that had her down for hours after I’d picked her up yesterday. She’d just collapsed on the couch with a barf bucket nearby for when everything backfired.
I’d kept her sipping water and had turned on cartoons and stayed close.
Today when she woke up, she swore she felt fine.
“I’m going crazy, Mom,” Ashley said, her big blue eyes locked on mine. “Can we go somewhere or do something?”
And I stared at her, unwilling to break her heart. Of course I’d planned something, but that was before she’d gotten sick. And I realized I’d have to trust she felt better.
Her eyes widened when I held out the flier, and her little hand trembled as she took it from me. Holding back my smile, I nodded at her when she glanced back up at me.
“A community mural?” Her voice was little more than a whisper.
I’d been worried about it. The point of the project was to cover up a public wall covered in ugly, distasteful graffiti. Things maybe she shouldn’t see. But in the age of the internet, I knew she’d seen worse. Besides, this would give her the chance to be part of her community and use her talent for good things. It felt like a good message.
“Only if you want to.” I wanted her to know that it was her choice. She might have only been eight, but I’d spent a lot of time teaching her to stand up for what she wanted and giving her options to say yes or no to things like this.
“I do, I do!” As she spoke, she bounced up and down, clapping her hands with excitement. I couldn’t contain my own smile in the face of her joy.
“Go get ready, then,” I said. As she rushed off, I added, “Dress warm!”
Her door closed behind her, and I sighed, unsure if she’d even heard me. Grabbing my jacket, purse, and keys, I shoved thoughts of Vlad out of my head. He’d been there, ever present every minute since I’d left yesterday.
I’d almost kissed him.
Last night after Ashley had gotten to bed, while I’d been too keyed up to sleep, I’d sat down and filled out the paperwork, not sure it was a good idea every step of the way. I knew what I was doing. I was setting myself up to fall for that man again. It was a bad idea. A stupid idea.
But I needed the job.
All those papers, neatly tucked into my briefcase, were ready to go. I’d filled out the online parts and taken the tests required and e-signed the things I needed to.
I’d almost kissed Vlad.
How the heck was I going to get through this unscathed?
I sat down with a sigh to wait for Ashley as troubling questions still circled my mind like vultures. The Vlad I’d spent time with yesterday didn’t seem like the same Vlad I knew from so many years ago. He’d been calm. He’d allowed me to leave without demanding answers to questions. Hell, he hadn’t asked questions. He’d welcomed me to the team and let me walk away.
Maybe he was different now. Maybe we could be something.
But I knew better than to get ahead of myself. I was going to guard my heart. He’d hurt me before, badly. I wasn’t going to just let him hurt me again.
“Mom!” Ashley rushed at me and threw her arms round my neck while pressing her lips to my cheek. “Thank you,” she said, squeezing me before letting me go.
“Ready?” I asked.
She nodded, heading for the door as I gave one last look around the house to make sure I didn’t forget anything before following her outside.
In the car, I glanced at her in the rearview. I noticed she was getting tall—almost tall enough to stop using a booster seat. Watching her grow up was heartbreaking. I wanted her to be my baby forever.
“Did my dad ever do a mural?” she asked, nodding her head in time to the m
usic I’d put on a low volume.
My heart squeezed. I knew I’d have to tell her at some point, but I’d thought I would have more time. And things were more complicated now that Vlad and I had reconnected. With a forced smile on my lips, I answered. “You know, I don’t know.”
It wouldn’t surprise me if he had. His talent was second to none, and he’d only seemed to get better over the years.
“Could you ask him?” Ashley’s innocent question crushed the air from my lungs.
“Maybe,” I said, focused on the road. Trying to dodge her questions might have been the most difficult thing I’d ever done. And with every passing day, I swore she had more questions, each tougher than the last.
“How come I’ve never met him?” she asked, studying me in the mirror.
“We’ve talked about this,” I said gently. “He lived very far away.” I noticed my slip up after the words cleared my lips, and I prayed she wouldn’t notice.
Relief flooded me as I pulled into the lot I’d been given permission to park in while we worked on the mural. “We’re here,” I said in an attempt to discourage further questions.
Once I’d stopped the vehicle, we got out and stared at the multicolored wall. The really ugly slurs had already been whited out, but some bad things still remained.
Ashley stared up at it. “It’s beautiful.”
I blinked. Only a child would find beauty in something so ugly.
“I brought you a ton of paints,” I said, walking around to the back of the car. While I loaded up the few stray paints into the tub of them that also held brushes, sponges, and a bunch of other tools she loved, I watched her lift a hand and measure the wall, tilting her hand one way and the other, her bright little mind likely already planning what she’d do.
I’d never been able to see a blank canvas and plan it out step by step like this girl. It was a talent her father had that had often amazed me.
Side by side, we began to move toward the wall. Ashley was silent as I set the tub on the ground and stepped back to let her focus. As she picked over the paints and brushes, I remembered something similar in a memory of her father picking a very specific paintbrush with the same amount of care.