by Lia Lee
I could see the questions there. But I could also feel his exhaustion. The questions and exhaustion took a backseat to the warmth and love I saw shining from his eyes.
Chapter Twenty Three
Vladmir
She looked like she’d seen a ghost. I walked right up to her and saw her gaze slide toward the back room. I knew my daughter was here.
“Please excuse us?” I asked the couple I assumed were her parents.
Her mother was staring at me in stunned surprised, but her father seemed less impressed and more suspicious. Around us, I could hear whispers as people recognized me.
“What are you doing here?” Aurora asked as her parents moved toward the back room.
“You didn’t give me many choices. I promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn’t hire a private investigator to find you.”
Her eyes were stormy, but she looked so stunned I almost felt bad for blindsiding her like this.
“I’m sorry,” I said, needing her to really hear and understand me. “I don’t expect anything, not even your forgiveness. But I want to meet her. I want to be her dad. I can’t live with knowing she has the same void here that I do.” I laid a hand over my heart.
People swirled around us, and I could feel pictures being taken on cell phones, but I didn’t give a damn for any reason other than wanting to protect Aurora and Ashley. But she hadn’t left me any choice. She’d managed to disappear, until the news update about the talented mural painter winning her school talent show and how she’d be featured in an exhibition.
“That’s hers?” I asked Aurora, nodding toward the painting of aspens. I didn’t need to ask; I knew. The second I relaxed my eyes and felt like I was stepping into the forest, I knew it was hers.
Aurora nodded, her face ashen. Her eyes slid behind me, and I turned.
A little girl stood behind me, peering up at me with familiar navy eyes. Behind her the grandparents stood, holding onto one another.
But all I could see was her.
Hunkering down to be closer to her level, I smiled through the sudden sting of tears. “Hello,” I said gently as she stared at me. “Do you know who I am?”
“Daddy?” she whispered.
I nodded, unable to speak. With an excited shriek, she threw herself into my arms. With an arm around her back and a hand on the back of her head, I held onto her. “I’m here now,” I whispered. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Pressing a kiss to her head, I felt my heart imploding with love and joy as I stood with her still in my arms.
Over her shoulder, I caught sight of Aurora. Twin tears trickled down her cheeks, and I opened my arms to her too. She stepped right in, and I held the two women I loved more than life itself.
“Ashley, honey, we need to talk,” Aurora said.
She stepped back, and I shifted my daughter to my hip, holding her like I’d never let her go. “Ice cream?” I asked Aurora.
“Can we leave?” Ashley asked, peeking around the room. People were staring, their phones up as they recorded our moment.
“Go,” a teacher said, stepping in close to us. “Good job, darling,” she said to Ashley, who said a solemn thank you. With my daughter in my arms, my love at my side, and her parents behind us, we headed out the door.
A few blocks away at a little ice cream shop, we sat down as a family for the first time ever.
“What kind of ice cream?” Aurora’s dad asked.
“Neapolitan!” Ashley said.
Of course she’d love my favorite kind of ice cream. As the orders circled the table, I was quick to slip up to the counter and leave my card. No way was I letting them pay for ice cream. It was my treat.
When I turned to head back to the table, I felt a little hand slide into mine. Glancing down at my daughter, I couldn’t hold back my smile. I scooped her up in my arms.
“Don’t ever go away again, Daddy,” she said in an almost stern voice before nuzzling into my neck. I held onto her.
“I won’t. I promise.” I glanced over, noticing how they were all watching me with different expressions. Her father still seemed a bit suspicious. Her mother looked like she was melting. Aurora still looked stunned, and I realized Ashley had hopped off her lap to come to me.
I carried her back to the table. “No running off from your mother,” I said with all the love and gentleness I could. “She loves you, don’t scare her.” Because next time, I might be further away, and while I wanted her to run to me anytime, I wanted her to be aware of both of us.
What if Aurora was fine with me being a dad, but didn’t want anything to do with me herself? The very real possibility had already been gnawing at me.
Of course, I’d be happy being a dad to my daughter. But I wanted us to all be a family. I loved Aurora.
“I bet you have some questions,” Aurora asked Ashley.
“Not really,” Ashley said. “You told me that sometimes people can love each other but not be able to make it work. You said you love him and he loves you. I told you it would work, and here we are.” She glanced around, looking proud at her very adult observation.
But I couldn’t stop staring at Aurora. She’d said she loved me? That I loved her?
She refused to meet my stare.
“Hold on, it’s not that simple,” she said.
“Yes, it is,” Ashley said stubbornly.
“It is.” Aurora’s mother spoke up, and I glanced at the woman, silently thanking her for her support. Aurora glared at her mother for a moment, and her mother responded in an unflappable tone. “I already told you how I felt about this.”
I sat down, and Ashley snuggled right up to me.
“Why don’t you help Grandpa?” Aurora told Ashley, who nodded and skipped off, her blonde ponytail waving back and forth.
“Mom, don’t,” Aurora said, but the woman turned to me.
“Young man, you’ve had her emotionally inside out since she met you. She’s been in love with you and only you. She’s just too stubborn to admit she messed up. She had no right to keep your daughter from you. Will you forgive her?”
I spread my hands. “Done.”
With a glance at Aurora that said I told you so, her mother got up and walked over to Ashley.
Aurora sat, stunned for a moment, then turned to me. “Look-”
“I forgive you.” The words felt so freeing. “Please don’t make me miss out on more.” I leaned in, lowering my voice as I stared her in the eyes. “If you hate me, fine. I’ll leave you alone. But that little girl needs me, and I need her.”
She nodded. “I don’t hate you,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“Guys!” Ashley said, hopping over and placing ice cream on the table. “They have gummy bears as a topping.”
I laughed. Aurora joined me, and all felt right in the world.
Chapter Twenty Four
Aurora
Two weeks later…
“What is this?” I asked, waving a paper at Vlad.
“I had the lawyer draw that up months ago,” he said with a shrug. I could see that; the change date was a few days after I’d walked out on him.
“It’s a will!” I was stunned, and the thought of losing him hurt.
He nodded. “I know. She’s my child, you’re the woman I love. I wanted to be sure you’d be well taken care of.”
It had been a couple of weeks, and we’d fallen right in as a family.
“Mom!” Ashley said, rushing into the room. “Can we name her Kenzie?”
“Her?” Vlad asked, arching an eyebrow as he set his coffee down. A moment later, Ashley squealed and ran while he chased her, his voice lowered as he promised her he was going to get her.
I watched them go, laughing and pressing a hand to my belly. The lump wasn’t even noticeable yet.
“Name her Kenzie!” Ashley squealed, racing back through the kitchen. She giggled as Vlad followed. She raced around the breakfast bar, eyeing him warily from her side with the counter like a barrier between th
em. She glanced at me. “Please?”
“What if it’s a little brother?” Vlad asked.
Ashley shook her head. “Can’t be.”
“Why not?” He sounded perplexed that she was so certain I had to be carrying a girl.
“Because boys are gross.”
“Because boys are…” With that, he charged the bar. She screeched, her wide eyes and laughter filling my memory as he launched over the bar and grabbed her. Moments later, he was tickling her and she was laughing so hard she could barely breathe.
“I’m gross, huh?” he asked.
I walked around the bar, grinning at their play. I’d been missing playing with Ashley, but I’d been staying careful. Fear for the safety of the new baby plagued me, but our daughter hadn’t missed out on anything. She and Vlad got along like a house on fire.
The two were nearly inseparable. To the point that they’d often paint together in the same room. They’d even settled on a collaborative project. He was teaching her fine points of painting, she was teaching him how to freeform paint 3D.
And I was cursing myself for keeping her away from him for so long. The two were obviously one of a kind. Since he’d come into her life, she’d flourished. Her shy, timid attitude had slowly transformed. She was more open, more self-assured, more assertive.
“Mom! Help!” Ashley gasped as Vlad continued to tickle her.
I shook my head. “You called him gross. You have to apologize and hope he forgives you.”
I hadn’t stopped apologizing. Night after night I told him I was sorry for what he’d missed. We’d gone through photo albums, videos of her as a tiny child, and I’d reminisced. But none of it could give him back the time he’d lost. Still, every night, he told me not to apologize. He had us now, and he was never going to let us go.
“Sorry!” Ashley said.
Vlad stopped tickling her. “Really?”
She grinned, and he set on her again.
“You tricked me!” he said, his fingertips dancing over her ribs and belly as she snorted her laughter.
“Stop!” she shouted, out of breath. Instantly, he stopped and offered her his hand. She took it without hesitation, and he helped her onto her feet. The relationship between the two warmed my heart, and I watched them as he threw an arm around her shoulders, gave me a loving smile, and walked off with her, quietly chatting about her upcoming project.
Certain I was grinning like a fool, I pulled the casserole out of the fridge and transferred it to the oven.
Of course, I’d always been happy with Ashley and me here in the cottage. But now, with him, it felt more like home. And as I peered around the little place, at all the packed boxes and the slight discoloration where the pictures used to hang on the walls, I felt a slight sense of loss.
Running a hand over my belly, I blinked back tears. It was time to let this place go. It was simply too small for our growing family. We not only had one on the way, but I had a surprise for Vlad; I’d started paperwork to adopt a Russian brother and sister whose parents had passed away from the same town he’d grown up in. It was his early birthday gift. I’d remembered the conversation we’d had almost a decade ago when he’d told me he wanted badly to save at least one child from the agony he’d faced. We were a strong family. We were a loving family. We had the love for two more.
His arms slipped around my belly, and his hands pressed flat to the bump there. “Beautiful,” he murmured, kissing my head. “How are you?”
“Tired,” I said honestly. “A little sad.”
He nuzzled in. “Why sad?”
“Lots of memories here.”
“You’ll still have them. And we’ll make more memories. New ones. Amazing ones.” He turned me around and held onto me. I wound my arms around his shoulders and clung to him as he gently rocked me back and forth.
“I love you,” he said softly. I clung to him, loving his warmth, his support. There was nothing cold or angry about him anymore. We hadn’t argued once since we’d started being a family. It was like something had finally clicked the right way. We were a unit, not two parts grinding against one another.
“Do you want to stay?” he asked, pulling back to look me in the eyes.
“No.” I didn’t. I was just sad to leave this all behind.
“Okay.” He pressed his lips to my forehead. “Do you need anything?”
I shook my head. He’d been so attentive, so worried, loving, and sweet since we’d found out—together—that we were expecting again. It was different this time.
He’d actually hung out with me in the bathroom, though he’d turned away when I’d asked him to. Then we’d held each other, waiting for the results. This time, when the two lines had shown up, I hadn’t felt alone. I hadn’t felt scared.
I’d felt excited. And when he’d hugged me, whispering his joy, I’d felt wrapped up in love.
And now, as he whispered words of love, I could feel something deep in me fluttering. And I gasped. He backed off a little, worry in his eyes, like he thought he’d hurt me. But I grabbed his hands and pressed them to my belly.
“Feel,” I whispered as I realized what the fluttering feeling was. It was faint. It was tiny and delicate, but it was our baby moving.
His eyes lit up, and he dropped to his knees and pressed his cheek to the small bump. “I’m never going to stop loving you. I don’t care if you’re a boy or a girl. I’ll love you to the moon and back. I’ll tell you stories of the candles flickering in the skies. I’ll tell you about your great-grandmother and her wise words. She told the best stories, and I’ll try to do justice by her.”
“Is Kenzie moving?” Ashley asked, peeking around the fridge.
Vlad opened his arms to her, and the two pressed their cheeks to my belly, their faces an inch apart.
“I don’t feel anything,” Ashley said.
Then her eyes lit up as the baby moved once more. “Yep, Kenzie is moving,” she whispered.
Epilogue
Aurora
One year later…
“Ashley! Grigory! Lada! Kenzie!” All four children perked right up as did Vlad, who was hiding behind the tree.
Ten-year-old Ashley raced toward me first. Then little four- and three-year-old Grigory and Lada linked hands and raced toward me.
Vlad scooped up two-year-old Kenzie and threw her up in the air as he walked toward me.
“Lunch time! Wash your hands,” I said.
Ashley kissed my cheek, her dirty hands tucked behind her back.
Grigory and Lada, already well settled in with us, lifted up on tiptoes. I bent over and kissed them both before scooping them up and hugging them tightly. They’d been so scared, so nervous when they’d first arrived.
But now, a year later, they were well-adjusted, sweet youngsters that completed our family perfectly. “Go wash up, okay?” I said, setting them on their feet. Their bond was enough to melt my heart as they shuffled off, joining hands once more.
I straightened up as Vlad walked in, little Kenzie in his arms. She leaned in, and I kissed her chubby cheek, trying to avoid the dirt and drool on her lips.
“You know, a little dirt never hurt anybody,” Vlad said, kissing me. As Kenzie pursed her lips at him, he kissed her too, making a loud “Muah!” sound that made her giggle. The drool and dirt on his face made me cringe, and I armed myself with a towel in case he decided to get some on me too.
“I’m going, I’m going. One more?” he asked, stopping just at the edge of the kitchen. I knew he wasn’t asking me for one more kiss. He was asking me the same question he’d asked last night, if we could have one more baby. Our house was bursting with love and joy, and he wanted more.
He’d been so happy to find out we’d been approved to adopt little Grigory and Lada. And back then, we’d discussed possibly having more children if we felt we could, if we had the love to give, if we weren’t too tired.
I would admit, I was tired more often than not. But it was a good feeling. My life was full and ha
ppy.
“Maybe,” I said to him. His dark eyes flashed. “Ask me tomorrow.” We’d been doing this dance for nearly six months. Every day he asked, and I asked him to ask me tomorrow.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want more kids. Not that at all. It was that I was so happy I couldn’t imagine being happier. Part of me did worry about not being able to give them all the love they deserved, but so far, we hadn’t had a problem.
Vlad had given me every opportunity to work from home, and I’d taken it. He’d offered to let me just stay home with the kiddos, even, and not work. I’d refused, and the kids helped me. I taught them about art, about how my job worked, and exposed them to the beauty and the culture of art.
In return, they made me laugh. Maybe I didn’t get a lot of work done, but I did enough, and I didn’t feel like I was missing out on them. They would only be little once. And Ashley, now at ten, was so self-possessed and independent it was stunning.
She was working with her father and had already built up a clientele for her art. Her father had established a trust fund in her name and was carefully managing her finances to ensure she never had to worry about a thing. Her grades were perfect, and she was growing into a beautiful young woman every single day.
A short shriek shot through the house, and I rushed to the bathroom. Grigory was on the floor, and Lada was gripping the edge of the sink, trying to hold on for dear life and screaming. Ashley had a hold of her and was softly telling her to let go, it would be okay.
After a second, Lada let go, and Ashley set the tiny one on her feet right as Vlad and Kenzie popped up behind me.
I knelt down and gathered Grigory into my arms. Lada crowded in, and I held them both as they cried.
“He was helping her up, the stool tipped, he fell, and she wouldn’t let go,” Ashley said.
“You okay?” I asked her.
She nodded. “Are they?” she asked, looking worried.
“Just scared, I think,” I said.
Vlad stepped in and put his arms around all of us. He spoke to the kiddos softly in Russian, and they answered in tiny voices. The conversation was short, and he kissed them both on the heads.