“Thank you,” Darla said weakly. Every part of her felt cold, like the worry had hollowed her out. She found her insurance card and handed it to Everly. While her friend finished filling in the forms for her, she shakily got herself undressed and put on the hospital gown.
“Have you ever been pregnant before?” Everly read from one of the forms.
“No. I didn’t think I could get pregnant. Gray and I never used anything to prevent pregnancy, but it never happened.” So maybe it was her. Maybe she couldn’t carry a pregnancy. Fear roiled up through her chest, consuming everything in its path. “What if lose the baby?” The baby that she and Ty had made together. She’d seen the happiness radiate through him when he’d learned he was going to be a dad. “I don’t know how I would tell Ty.”
“You’re not going to lose the baby,” Everly said firmly. “Have faith, Darla.”
She’d had faith once. Faith in a future that had been taken away from her. “I don’t know how. I live under this fear that I won’t be able to hold on to anything good. That some tragedy will ambush me again and steal the things I love the most.”
“I understand.” Everly sat on the gurney next to her. “I know you went through so much trauma when Gray died. But I think this baby is a gift. I think this is the restoration of the dreams that were taken away from you. You might be afraid to believe it, but that’s okay. Because I believe enough for both of us right now. Everything will be okay.”
* * *
As was their custom, Ty stood with Mateo, Levi, and Charity at the fence, watching the last rider try his luck on Ball Buster.
“I think you’ve got the victory,” Levi said, checking the standings on the scoreboard. As it stood, Ty was currently in first place, with Levi in second. For the barrel-racing portion of the competition, Charity held the title—no surprise there—and in bronc riding, Mateo had managed to secure a third-place spot.
“We’ll see. Clay is good.” He was newer on the circuit. Younger than Ty by at least eight years, and he’d already won a fair amount of prize money.
“He’s done,” Mateo estimated, watching the rider on the other side of the corral. “His grip is weak. It’s only a matter of—”
Before he could finish, the bull tossed Clay into the dirt with a thud. Tucker McGrath, the Cortez’s stable manager, lured the animal away while Clay staggered to his feet.
“Wait until you’re over thirty, buddy,” Levi muttered. “It’ll hurt even worse.”
“You got that right.” Ty tried to stretch out his lower back. Seemed that part of him always took the brunt when he couldn’t land on his feet.
“Over thirty and still winning.” Levi offered Ty a high five. “Just so you know, I could’ve held out if I’d wanted to, but I knew your family was in town, so…”
“You never let me win,” Ty said, searching the stands for his family. There they were. Easy to spot. Right in the middle, all crammed into the seats, with his mother sitting next to Sierra and chatting away. He had to laugh. Rhett was probably sweating. Their mother had a knack for telling embarrassing stories. Ty’s gaze wandered away from his family, still searching for Darla’s seat.
The arena speakers crackled. “We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen,” Hank Green announced. “First place for the bull-riding competition goes to Ty Forrester.”
The crowd got to their feet, cheering, and Levi pushed Ty toward the fence. “Go take your victory lap.”
Nah. Back in his twenties, he used to trot around the arena when he won, showing off for the crowd. That was back when riding was the only thing that mattered to him. Still searching the stands for Darla, he opted to linger by the fence while he waved to the crowd.
Hank Green went on to announce the rest of the winners. “After a short intermission, we’ll have the awards ceremony.”
People in the stands began standing and mingling, but Ty still hadn’t found the one person who mattered. Where was Darla? He scanned row after row searching for her.
“We have to go.” Mateo grabbed his shoulder.
“What?” Ty spun, his lower back still threatening to give out.
His friend nudged him away from the others. “Everly just called. She took Darla to the hospital thirty minutes ago.”
That got his heart going. “Hospital?” He jogged to keep up with Mateo as he crossed the corral. “Why? What’s wrong?”
“She was having some cramping. They’re running tests.”
Ty stopped to catch his breath, but he couldn’t seem to fill his lungs. Cramping?
“Hey!” Charity called behind them. “Where are you going? The awards ceremony is in ten minutes.”
He got moving again. “I can’t stay. Tell them I had an emergency.” He and Mateo ducked out of the arena and sprinted down the corridor. His mind raced ahead. He had no idea what cramping meant. Was it bad? Would it hurt the baby?
“Are they okay?” he asked when they made it to the parking lot. “Darla? The baby? Are they okay?”
“I don’t know.” Mateo unlocked the truck and they both climbed in. His friend peeled out before Ty even had his seat belt on.
“What exactly did she say?” He didn’t mean to sound so angry, but the adrenaline pounded through him and seemed to amplify everything, including his voice.
“She said Darla started having stomach cramps right after you rode,” Mateo reported. “Everly took her to the hospital and they’re doing some tests. That’s all she said.”
“What kind of tests?” Ty demanded. And why didn’t Darla have Everly call him?
“Everly didn’t say what tests.” Mateo bounced his gaze back and forth between the road and Ty. “I’m sorry. I would assume they’re checking on the baby.”
A rip current of fear dragged him under. “What does cramping mean? Is she going to lose the baby?” He braced himself for the answer, for the possibility. Jesus, just yesterday he found out he was going to be a dad—that he’d been given the best and most important job in the world—and now…he couldn’t even think about what it would be like if they lost the baby.
“I don’t know.” Mateo’s voice was low and rough. He almost sounded as angry as Ty. But he knew it wasn’t anger plaguing either of them.
Ty let the silence drag on. Even though Mateo sped down the highway, the miles seemed to crawl by. He’d never felt so helpless.
“I’ll drop you off.” Mateo swerved the truck in front of the emergency room entrance. Ty hopped out before his friend had even hit the brakes. The hospital doors rolled open and he busted inside.
The place was deserted except for a woman behind the desk. “I’m here for Darla Michaels.” All he could muster was a growl.
“Are you family?” the woman asked pleasantly. She seemed to have no clue that he would gladly dodge her and fight his way back into those exam rooms if that was what it would take.
“I’m the baby’s father.” He might not have held that child in his arms yet, but he was a dad. The jumble of emotions coursing through him tangled—fear and resolve and this powerful protective instinct he’d never experienced before. It didn’t matter what he found back there. He would be strong. He would be what Darla needed him to be.
Apparently done asking questions, the nurse rose from her chair. “Right this way. I’ll bring you back.” She buzzed open a door and escorted him past room after room until she finally gestured for him to go inside one.
Ty rushed past her and found Darla sitting on an exam table. She was dressed in a hospital gown, her eyes red and swollen. Everly stood next to her holding her hand.
Ty couldn’t bring himself to ask any questions, so he simply said, “I’m here.”
“Oh Ty. Thank god.” Everly backed away from Darla, wiping her own tears. On her way past him, she gave his arm a squeeze. Whatever had happened, it didn’t seem good.
“I’m here,” he said again, approaching the exam table. Darla peered up at him. The tears running down her cheeks were enough to rip out his heart.
&
nbsp; “They couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat,” she half whispered. “On the Doppler. The nurse couldn’t find it.”
Pain ripped through him, but he deflected it with resolve. He couldn’t fall apart. She needed him. Darla needed him to stand strong. “Okay.” He wrapped his arms around her, and brought her in close, holding her while he stroked her hair.
She leaned her cheek against his chest as though she’d been searching for that safe place to rest. “They’re sending an ultrasound tech in.” A sob broke through the words. “To see if…” Her voice trailed off.
To see if the baby was still alive. Pain wrenched his heart again, almost unbearable. Ty closed his eyes on his own tears and held her tighter. “It’ll be okay,” he murmured against her hair.
“I’m so sorry.” She clung to him and sobbed against his shoulder. “What if the baby is gone? Oh God, Ty. What if our baby doesn’t make it?”
Even with the anguish bearing down on him, he continued to hold her, finding strength and purpose in sheltering her. “Then I’ll get you through it. I promise. We’ll get each other through it.” He brushed her hair away from her eyes and lifted her face to his. She wasn’t alone anymore. He wasn’t alone anymore. “Losing the baby won’t change how I feel about you.” The pain, this fear, only intensified his feelings for her. “I love you, Darla.”
“I love you too.” She rested her forehead gently against his lips. “I chose you. Even though I’m terrified.” She raised her face. Sadness clouded her eyes, but there was something else there too. Courage. “I don’t want to be scared anymore,” she murmured, bringing her hands to either side of his jaw. “I want to brave. For our baby.”
Ty kissed her, letting his lips linger over hers, breathing her in, breathing in the hope and the anticipation of their future. “You are brave. No matter what happens, we’ll be brave together.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Darla held Ty’s face in line with hers, staring into those calming blue eyes. His eyes held tears too, but also so much love. When he had walked into the room, somehow he’d driven out all of her fears, all of the questions. I’m here. Those two simple words had raised her up. They’d rescued her from depths of a bottomless grief that threatened to drag her under.
He was there. He had been there so many times, and yet she’d been so afraid to hold on to him. Now, though, in the face of another devastating loss, he’d given her the strength to hold on. That was all she had to do, hold on to him, and he would hold on to her and they would get through this together.
“I’m sorry I pushed you away.” She kissed him with tears running down her cheeks. “I was so afraid.”
“I know. I would wait longer if that’s what you need,” Ty murmured. “I would wait until you’re ready.”
“I don’t want to wait.” Her heart seemed to pound harder than it had in a long time. “We’ve already wasted too much time.” Nora was right. Gray had given her so much, he’d taught her so much, and because of that she could move on. She could learn to let herself love someone again.
A knock on the door separated them. Only slightly though. Ty stayed close, hovering next to her.
“Hi there!” A scrub-clad woman poked her head into the room. “I’m Karen. I’ll be doing your ultrasound today.”
Saying nothing, Darla reached for Ty. He laced their fingers together and stroked her knuckles with his thumb.
“Will you be able to see the baby?” Ty asked. Concern had deepened his voice.
“We’ll see.” The woman likely didn’t want to make any promises given the situation. She guided Darla to lay back, and then eased up the hospital gown, before placing a blanket over her hips and upper thighs.
“This is going to be cold.” She squirted some gel onto Darla’s stomach and took the wand from her machine, turning slightly to watch the small monitor. A swishing sound came over the speaker, and Darla held her breath, listening, listening, listening.
“Does that hurt the baby?” Ty asked eyeing the way the tech pressed the wand into Darla’s abdomen.
The woman smiled as though she got that question from nervous dads all the time. “Not at all.”
He gazed down at Darla, his eyes tender. “Does it hurt you?”
“No.” She wouldn’t care if it did. As long as it showed them a healthy baby, she would do anything, give everything.
“Ah. Here we go.” The tech had zeroed in on a spot to the lower left side below Darla’s belly button. “I think the little peanut was trying to hide before, but I’m good at this game.”
“You see the baby?” Hope caught in her chest, sparking the tears in her eyes again.
“Yep.” The tech pointed to the monitor. “Right now he or she is about the size of a raspberry.” She turned a dial on the machine, and the swishing sound grew louder. But there was something else too. A thumping sound, so quiet she could only hear it if she strained her ears. “Is that—”
“It’s the heartbeat!” Ty looked at the tech, his eyes five times wider than they normally were. “It’s the baby’s heartbeat, isn’t it?”
The woman smiled and went back to moving the wand. “Yes. Your baby has quite the strong heartbeat.”
Ty kissed her forehead, her temple, her cheek. “You’re beautiful. The baby’s beautiful.”
Darla pressed her hands to her lips, watching that spot on the monitor, that beautiful, miraculous spot. “We couldn’t hear the heartbeat earlier. On the Doppler.”
“I’d guess it’s a bit too early to be able to hear it on the Doppler.” The tech typed something into the keyboard on the machine. “The ultrasound is much stronger. Based on the baby’s size, I’d put you at about seven weeks along.”
“Seven weeks!” Ty’s laugh was so giddy it made Darla laugh too. “That means the baby’ll be due sometime in August?” he guessed.
“Most likely.” The tech moved the wand back. “But I’ll let the doctor give you more specific information.” She wiped the end of the wand with a rag, and then cleaned off Darla’s belly. “Congratulations, you two. The doctor will be in to talk to you in a few minutes.”
The woman had hardly cleared the door, when Ty planted a happy kiss on Darla’s lips. “August. We’re having a baby in August,” he marveled, looking like a kid on Christmas morning. “This is everything I’ve ever wanted. You are everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“I feel the same way.” This was everything she’d wanted, and nothing she thought she could ever have again.
Another knock on the door interrupted their kiss. Everly crept in nervously. “Mateo and I are just out in the waiting room with your family, and I thought I would check in.”
Ty sat on the gurney next to Darla. “My family’s here?”
“Yeah. I guess when you left, word traveled fast about the emergency. Charity texted me and demanded to know what was going on, so I told her Darla was being checked out at the hospital.” The woman looked back and forth between them. “She’s been texting me ever since demanding to know what’s going on, so I finally told her about the baby. You guys are smiling. And crying, but you’re smiling too, so that’s good, right?”
“We heard the baby’s heartbeat.” Darla would never forget that sound, not as long as she lived.
“The tech thinks he or she will be due in August,” Ty added, his eyes shining. “That seems like forever away.”
“It’ll come faster than you can believe.” The doctor stepped into the room to join them. “I hear congratulations are in order.”
Everly let out a little squeal. “I knew it! I knew everything would be okay. I have to go tell the others.” She slipped out of the room.
The doctor chuckled as he walked in. His white hair and friendly assortment of smile lines revealed he’d had plenty of experience with good news. “Based on the ultrasound results, we don’t see any cause of concern,” he informed them. “But you’ll need to follow up with an OB as soon as you can get an appointment.”
“We will,” Ty assured h
im.
Darla wouldn’t have been surprised if he made her an appointment before they left the hospital. “So what caused the pain?” she asked, doing her best to focus on the positives.
“There’s no way to be sure.” The doctor took as seat on the stool across from them. “Sometimes, even very early, a woman’s body starts stretching, which can cause ligament pain. Or especially in early pregnancy, certain things you eat can irritate your digestive system.”
“Things like cotton candy and chocolate?” she asked guiltily.
He smiled again. “Potentially. The nurse also noted that your blood pressure was elevated when you came in.”
“Yeah.” She snuck a sideways glance at Ty. “I was dealing with some nerves.”
The man didn’t seem too surprised by that either. “Well, you’ll want to stay on top of that too. Anxiety can definitely affect your pregnancy.”
“I will.” She wouldn’t hide anymore. Not from Ty, not from the fears. She’d face it all with him by her side.
“Sounds good.” The doctor stood. “Once you get dressed, you’re free to go.”
“Thank you so much.” Ty shook the man’s hand and watched him leave before turning back to Darla. Concern had subdued his jovial expression. “How stressed were you watching me ride?”
She couldn’t lie. Not if they were going to give this a shot. “I felt like I was having a heart attack.” And she couldn’t keep letting it happen. She didn’t want to end up here again.
“That’s why you were in pain?”
“It could’ve been the chocolate I had for lunch,” she said, trying to lighten the mood, to bring back that elated grin. “Or the cotton candy.”
A smile flashed on his face but it was too brief. “I meant what I said before. I want to be with you, Darla. With you and with our baby. I want a family, a future with you. And I’ll quit riding if that’s what you need.”
Darla gave the question serious consideration. “I want to be with you too.” The relief of acknowledging that—of telling Ty the truth made her heart lighter. “But I don’t want you to quit. Not until you’re ready to quit. Not until your body is ready to quit.” That alone was proof she loved him. If she didn’t, she would have said, Yes. Please quit. But she couldn’t be the reason. She couldn’t take away something he loved—something that was so much a part of him. She couldn’t continue to let her fears rule the direction of her life. Or her child’s life. Or her and Ty’s possible life together. “I don’t want to live in the future anymore, worrying about what could happen. I want you now. Today. I want us.”
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