“Well, prison does change you. But that wasn’t one of the things that changed about me. The only new thing I picked up was cigarettes, and I plan to quit soon.”
“Okay, son. I was just wondering,” C.W. said as he put on his coat. “Guess I’ll see you next year. Don’t wait up,” he said and walked out the door.
Carl smiled and shook his head, as he watched his father pull out of the driveway. There was a time when Carl divided holidays between his wife, his girlfriend, and whatever new woman he was trying to talk to. Those days were history. Although, not due to lack of opportunity. When he first came home, he tried to make up for lost time and had no trouble finding ladies willing to help him. There weren’t too many stray men in his age group in Eden. He was drug-free and everyone knew his family had land. But they all wanted to claim him and Carl just wanted to have a good time.
He had been locked up four years, but it was more like a five or six year drought. Everyone knows crack addicts lose weight, steal, don’t sleep, and lie. No one talks about what it does to you sexually. There were times where his mind was ready but his body wasn’t and after a while his mind wasn’t even ready. He had vowed to give Wilt Chamberlain a run for his money when he got out.
The first time Carl stayed out all night, he returned home to find his mother and father sitting in the living room on the plastic covered couch just as they had when he was a teenager. He reassured them that he was all right and they didn’t have to wait up for him. The next time he stayed out all night, they weren’t in the living room, but he saw their bedroom light turn off, so he knew they had been awake. The next time he came home, the living room light was on, but it was Beverly in the living room instead of his parents.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” Carl asked as he closed the door behind him.
“Daddy has an appointment tomorrow in Memphis with his specialist. I came on over after I closed the salon and we’ll leave early in the morning. Although with him worrying about you, his blood pressure will probably be sky high.”
“What are you talking about?” Carl asked.
“I know you are grown, but considering everything you’ve put our parents through, I would think you’d show some respect and come in their house at a decent hour.”
“Why are you tripping?” Carl said as he went to the kitchen.
“Because you are being selfish as usual and only thinking about yourself,” Beverly said, as she followed him.
“I already talked to Mama and Daddy. They gave me the usual speech about being careful, but otherwise everything is cool.”
“Everything is not cool. Do you know how much you worried them while you were on your crack odyssey? They worried when the phone rang, and they worried when it didn’t ring. They’re not going to give you a curfew like a child, but you should be considerate enough not to put them through any more stress. Can’t you get your groove on before midnight?”
He resented Beverly being so bossy, yet she was right. He did not want to cause his parents any more pain, stress, or worry. After that, he never came in after midnight. He figured abiding by his self-imposed curfew wasn’t a big sacrifice, especially since it would only be for a few months. He naively thought he would find a job and have his own place within a few months. Thirteen months later and he was still calling his parents’ house home and rushing like Cinderella to get in before the clock struck twelve.
His father had just been glad that he still liked women. “I know some guys start liking men once they go to prison,” he had said.
“You don’t have to worry about that Dad.”
“Good,” Lois said. “Although you know we’d still love you. Some of them boys can fix themselves up pretty good.”
“I don’t care how good they fix themselves up, some things they can’t change, if you know what I mean,” C.W. said.
“Well, actually, these days they can. I remember watching on Oprah some girls that had operations to be men and men had operations to be women. They’re called trans something or other,” Lois said.
“That’s why this world is so messed up. Can’t even tell the boys from the girls,” C.W. said.
“This is nothing new. Folks just used to cover it up. Remember that Franklin boy that went to school with us? You know what they said about him.”
Carl smiled when he remembered those times. His parents were the perfect example of hard work and commitment. C.W.’s father cobbled together forty acres after working as a sharecropper for most of his life. He left the land to his sons, C.W. and Beau. They worked the land together and added to it after their father died. C.W. left for a few years and went to Detroit just like millions of other African Americans during the first half of the twentieth century. He came back when his father had a stroke while plowing one of the fields. Two years later, his brother fell off a tractor and died. Since his brother didn’t have any children, there was no controversy with the title or heirs property, which is how a lot of black people lost their land. C.W. felt his father and brother gave their lives for the land and he had a responsibility to make the farm a success.
C.W. and Lois worked from sunup to sundown and bought more land whenever they could. C.W. did the visible work, but their mother was just as integral to his success. She was a seamstress and was tighter with a dollar than bark on a tree. It had been a fifty-year marriage and business partnership and both were successful. They had endured the loss of two sons, weathered economic cycles, and nursed each other through various illnesses – partners in every sense of the word.
Carl’s ex-wife had been a loyal partner and he knew he had messed it up. He hoped for a second chance to have a family, but that wasn’t a priority right now. All he wanted to do was make and save money. He had done a few plumbing jobs and helped on the farm when he first came home. He actually had a long list of plumbing customers, which looked lucrative on paper. But he learned that family, friends, and business don’t mix. They always had a story about why they could only pay half of what they owed – if that much. After buying supplies and paying on his restitution debt and child support, his earnings were gone before he got them. He had gone with Aunt Belle’s senior group on the bus to the casino, figuring he would try his luck. He lost his money so quickly, he spent most of his time people watching in the lobby. He had even been suckered into sending money to an envelope stuffing scam. His cousin, Perry, kept trying to talk him into joining his “business.” Carl knew his cousin always took the quick money route, and he said he would clean toilets before he’d risk going back to jail. Then it looked like he couldn’t even get a job cleaning toilets. Finally, Burger Barn called. Carl had been there almost a year and had already been promoted three times. He started as an intermittent environmental engineer. In other words, a part-time janitor. His parents couldn’t have been happier if he had been elected President. Unfortunately, just three weeks after starting the job his mother died. He had planned to take his parents to dinner when he got his first paycheck. Instead, he bought a black suit.
Rather than sit around the house, he worked as many hours as he could. He didn’t just cut the lawn around the store, he manicured it. He brought fertilizer from the farm and revived the scraggly bushes. The manager noticed his work ethic and moved him from janitor to the grill. Now he could do any job in the restaurant and was a shift leader. Many of the teens scheduled to work during the holiday were nowhere to be found and Carl was taking up their slack. The managers tried to avoid people working more than forty hours, but inevitably he was asked to stay late or come in on his off day because someone didn’t show. Carl didn’t mind. He was going to see his sons next weekend and planned to take them shopping at after Christmas sales. He hadn’t touched his last check and this one should be almost double his regular pay. He earned just above minimum wage, and working extra hours increased his check from pitiful to meager. He didn’t see how people made it that actually had to pay bills. He lived with his parents and drove his mom’s old car. He had offered to pay them,
but of course they refused. He used that money to pay extra on his child support. He was so far behind, he had no illusions of ever catching up, but he was determined to do as much as he could. He knew he could never make up for the years that he was gone, though he was determined to try.
CAROLYN
One of my husband’s favorite things about Chicago is pizza. It used to be mine too, but I rarely eat it anymore. I lost sixty pounds four years ago. Derrick hasn’t seen me fat and I intend to keep it that way. I did an extra forty minutes on the treadmill this morning, since I knew Derrick would want pizza for dinner. I ordered the four-cheese Mediterranean special and prepared a spinach salad. Judging by my husband’s heavy eyelids, he enjoyed dinner. But the nap will have to wait.
“Oh, no you don’t,” I said and clapped my hands in front of his face. “I see you nodding off. Let’s get ready to go.”
“Babe, after completing Mamalil’s ‘to do’ list, then riding on a train for eleven hours, I really don’t feel like going out. I could use one more nap, except this time you should join me,” he said as he pulled me to his lap.
“You promised,” I said, struggling to get up. “Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve and we’re staying in. It’s supposed to get even colder New Year’s day, so I know you won’t want to go anywhere then.”
“All right. But it’s already below zero, I don’t see how it can get much colder,” he said as he stood and followed me to the master bedroom closet. “Where in the world are you going to put all this stuff when you move? My closets are half this size. You’ve got boxes packed and your closets are still full.”
“Well, hopefully we won’t be in your house too long. I’ve been looking at houses online and the prices are unbelievable. We can live like royalty compared to the prices here,” I said as I opened my jewelry box and switched watches.
“That jewelry box looks like you’ve already been living like royalty,” Derrick said as he picked through my jewelry. “Mamalil has one ring she always wears, some pearls, and about five pair of earrings.”
“I am not your grandmother,” I said and pecked him on the cheek.
“Is this full of cash?” Derrick said as he picked up an envelope at the bottom of my jewelry box and thumbed through it. “You know this is the first place a thief will look. Why do you have so much cash in the house anyway?”
“Cecelia paid me part of what she owes me. She’s trying to use a cash only basis to control her spending, and she doesn’t have checks for her new bank account. I was going to deposit it, but Sheree called and her grants didn’t come in yet, so I told her I’d give her this money for tuition and she can pay me back when her financial aid comes in.”
“Whoa, whoa. I thought you agreed to close the Bank of Carolyn.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I thought you weren’t loaning your sister any more money.”
“We have a clear understanding. Cecelia doesn’t ask like she used to and she knows she must pay me back. Her taxes went up last year because it was the first year she filed as single. She got an extension but October was the deadline. She paid me back from her bonus.”
“So she borrowed this money since we’ve been married?”
“Yeah, it was the beginning of the semester, and she’s paid me back in full already. She’s been keeping her word.”
“Well, I’m glad someone is.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You told me about the money you loaned her last year for your niece’s tuition. I thought we agreed that was it.”
“She didn’t get as much financial aid this year.”
“She is not our responsibility. She’s not just borrowing from you. We’re a couple, remember? How can you dish out thousands of dollars without asking me?”
“I didn’t realize I had to ask for permission.”
“Well, at least discuss it with me. Sheree can work like I did. And your sister could have gotten on a payment plan. They need to learn to stand on their own.”
“I don’t mind helping my niece finish her education. And, why should Cecelia pay penalties and interest? You didn’t discuss moving your grandmother into the house with me or paying for renovations to her house.”
“That’s different.”
“Not from where I sit.”
“It was just a few days while they installed a ramp and a walk-in tub in her house. That’s the only way she could move back into her house. She could never afford anything like that. What was I supposed to do?”
“Exactly what you did. You helped your grandmother just like I helped my sister and niece.”
“It’s not the same at all, and the fact that you didn’t mention it, tells me you know you were wrong.”
I didn’t mention it because discussing my money is one of those things about being married I haven’t quite gotten used to. We opened a joint saving account and have both been depositing to it. We both got a raise when we changed our filing status from single to married, so we deposit that money to the account. Otherwise, we haven’t combined our finances since we both still have our own bills.
“That is not the case, but I don’t want us to argue. I paid too much for these tickets for us not to enjoy the evening.”
“If you want me to enjoy the evening, let’s stay in. It is too cold for words out there. I’m ready for my dessert,” he said as he squeezed my behind.
“We can’t let these tickets go to waste. Do you know how hard it was to get them? This August Wilson play won all kinds of awards.”
“Well, I don’t feel like it. You should have asked me first.”
“I was trying to do something nice.”
“Something nice for you. You know I don’t care about August or July or whoever he is. We already don’t spend much time together, so the last thing I want us to do is go sit up somewhere and watch other people play make-believe on stage.”
“And the last thing I want to do is to watch you snore.”
“Most women would be glad their man wants to make love. If I didn’t want to go to bed with you, I guess then you’d be happy?”
“I’m not saying that. I just wanted to do something different.”
“You haven’t forgotten that you’re my wife have you? That means you should consult with me on everything from spending money to how we spend our anniversary.”
“I cannot believe you are being this petty.”
“And I can’t believe you don’t get it,” Derrick said as he slammed the jewelry box shut and laid across the bed.
“We’re going to be late. Let’s go,” I said.
“Now you even want to decide when the conversation is over. I’m not going.”
“I paid almost three hundred dollars for these tickets.”
“Then you go. I’m staying here,” Derrick said as he grabbed the remote control and found a football game.
I picked up my purse, keys, coat, scarf, gloves, hat, and earmuffs, and left for our anniversary date. I knew marriage would have ups and downs, but I hadn’t expected to see the downs so soon. The honeymoon is definitely over.
CECELIA
Cecelia heard the ringing, but wasn't sure if it was the clock, the phone or a dream. The answering machine clicked on and she heard her sister's voice, “Happy New Year!” Cecelia reached for the phone and knocked over the half full glass of Merlot.
“Yeah, Happy New Year,” she said as she tried to clear her throat.
“So you're screening your calls now?” Carolyn asked.
“No, the house phone is usually some telemarketer, so I rarely answer it.” Telemarketers weren’t the only ones calling. Bill collectors seemed to have her number on speed dial. She had thought about canceling her house phone, but the hospital required her to have a house phone for emergencies. One of the last things she and her ex-husband, Michael, had done together was file for bankruptcy, again. They each kept their car and car payment, and discharged all other loans and credit cards. The house was in foreclosu
re, but the bank didn’t seem to be in a hurry to take over the property, so Cecelia was living rent free. Just when she thought she would be able to save a little, her daughter’s transmission went out. Cecelia used her car payment money to fix Sheree’s car and now the finance company was calling relentlessly. Then the garage door broke and she had to get it fixed, and she had to use cash. Living without credit cards was tough. She wasn’t accumulating debt, but now she was broke. She was broke before, but it didn’t feel like it when she could select from her deck of plastic to pay bills, shop, and eat out. She had made a brief visit to Lady Luck, but it was too crowded. Her favorite machines were taken and the dealers seemed to be rushing the games so she had come home, poured a glass of wine, toasted to herself, and climbed under her Mont Blanc comforter. It seemed like that was just five minutes ago. The bright sun peeking through the blinds told her different.
“What time is it?” Cecelia asked as she put on her glasses.
“It's almost ten o'clock. You must have gone to a wild party last night.”
“Not quite. I rang in the New Year knee deep in blood, IV bags, and paperwork. I was supposed to get off yesterday afternoon and ended up working a double. We had six trauma cases and then we had three nurses who called in. I don’t know why folks think the holiday is a license to act a fool.”
“You have a lot of seniority. You shouldn’t even have to work on a holiday.”
“I didn’t have any grand plans and we’re always short this time of year. I don’t mind. I’d rather use my vacation days during warm weather.”
“I thought that guy from the billing department invited you to a party.”
“Girl, please. I am not trying to date anybody with four young children. My baby just turned eighteen.”
“It’s only a party. Nobody says you have to marry him.”
“I know. I’m just not interested in that whole getting to know you ordeal.”
“Then try online dating. You can specify all the criteria you want and don’t want. Then when you meet the person, you can skip all that preliminary getting to know you stuff. My administrative assistant just married a guy she met on a dating website.”
Down Home Blues Page 3