by Joanna Sims
At the end of the evening, Gabe drove her home and she couldn’t get Shane’s performance out of her mind. With her arm hooked in his and as they walked toward the door of her main house, Bonita said, “Your brother is so sad, it breaks my heart.”
Gabe put his free hand on her arm and squeezed it. “It breaks my heart, too. I have to believe he’ll find his way back to the world one day.”
They hadn’t reached the door when he stopped walking and turned her in his arms. The moon was almost full and when she looked up into his handsome face, she knew that Gabe wanted to kiss her. He was slow to warm up, but Bonita had a feeling that Gabe was the type of man who knew how to keep the fire burning hot in a relationship for a lifetime.
“My sweet, lovely Bonita.”
Gabe took her face in his hands and he kissed her. He lingered on her lips, not rushing the moment. He was gentle but firm, kissing her like he meant it—letting her know that he wanted more but was willing to wait for as long as it took to get there.
Gabe’s hands slipped down to her shoulders and then his arms wrapped around her body, pulling her close. She heard a sigh and realized that the sigh had come from her.
Chapter Eleven
It was an unconventional courtship, but it was a courtship that seemed to work for them. Bonita didn’t want to be wined and dined—she didn’t want to go to the movies. What she really wanted from her time with Gabe was to put aside, for just a couple of hours, the stress and the responsibilities she carried on her shoulders at the family ranch.
For the next month, whenever their schedules aligned, Gabe took her out on the boat and they spent time at Little Sugar Creek, riding on horseback or cooking a meal together. When they did occasionally go into Bozeman and grab something to eat, he always picked up the tab, but her expectations for what a “date” should be had shifted dramatically. Prior to moving to Montana, a time she considered to be her “old life,” Bonita had expected fancy restaurants, top tickets to theater productions and weekend excursions to swanky resorts as acceptable dates. Post arrival in Montana, her favorite date was spending time with Gabe and Tater in the tiny cabin the cowboy had built with his own hands.
Had Montana truly changed her, or was this more like a hostage response and she had temporarily adapted to her environment? Bonita would only be able to know the answer to that question in time.
“He’s a different horse here,” she said as she pulled two glasses out of the kitchen cabinet. “He’s not biting, he’s not fighting being saddled. Will he just revert back to his old ways when I eventually bring him back to the ranch?”
Gabe was cutting up some cucumbers for her salad. He was grilling a steak for himself, but he was always respectful of her choice not to eat meat.
“His training should hold steady across settings. You’ve learned some techniques so you can reinforce his training.” He looked up from his task and added, “And I’m always a phone call away.” Then he stepped outside to get the steak off the grill.
Bonita put the glasses of water on the small, handcrafted oak table, the only place to eat in the small cabin. Gabe’s place was really just one large room with different living zones. The living room, with a vaulted ceiling to give it the illusion of space, was separated from the sleeping space only by a large two-sided fireplace. Gabe was a minimalist—he didn’t want much and he didn’t have much.
She liked his cabin, but she also liked her things. It was difficult to imagine what she would have to give up in order to live in such a small space. Was Gabe’s preference for a minimalist lifestyle the reason his one and only relationship failed?
They had just had an awkward run-in at the grocery store with his first love and high school sweetheart. Mandy had been with her husband and her three kids. It was hard for Bonita to imagine Gabe, who lived in a tiny cabin and preferred to travel alone, with a wife and a houseful of kids. But the encounter did seem to give Bonita an opening to broach a subject with Gabe that she had been considering bringing up for several weeks.
He came in from outside. “About another fifteen minutes and then we can eat.”
She was sitting on the couch in the living room with Tater on her lap. Gabe joined her, and as he liked to do, he lifted her legs and put them over his thighs.
Her heart was beating a bit faster at the thought of bringing up his ex—it was a topic about which he was usually a closed vault. He had mentioned Mandy, said they had broken it off, end of story. But after seeing them together at the grocery store, it was clear that there were years of history and hurt between Gabe and his ex.
“Mandy seemed really nice.” It was a trite thing to say, but Bonita didn’t really have a better way to start the conversation.
Like a blind closing on a window, the expression on Gabe’s face changed at the mention of her name.
“Beautiful boys,” she continued in spite of all of the “change the subject” signals she was getting from him.
No response.
“You never did tell me why you broke up.”
His features hardened. “The past is the past.”
That’s what he always said whenever she asked about his previous relationships. “What we learn in the past helps us grow into our future,” she countered. “I don’t mind telling you why my fiancé and I broke up.”
“That’s your business.”
Bonita rolled her eyes and sighed heavily in frustration. Trying to have a conversation of any depth with Gabe was nearly impossible. Horses, fishing and boats, no problem, he’d talk your ear off—anything else, it was like pulling teeth to get him to talk.
“Do you still love her, is that it?”
A flash of genuine anger penetrated the blank wall he had erected in his eyes. Gabe abruptly stood up, his jaw set.
“Look, if your ex let you go for any reason, then he’s a flat-out idiot. If you were mine—really mine—I’d hold on tight, you can believe that.”
“He couldn’t handle my mom’s illness or the possibility that the same thing could happen to me. He was scared,” Bonita told him. “And I don’t blame him for that. Not anymore.”
Gabe gave a small shake of his head. “I wouldn’t let you go. Not for any reason.”
“How can the possibility of what’s happening to my mom happening to me not scare the crap out of you?” she asked incredulously. “You’ve seen her and she’s only gotten worse. She’s petrified. My dad’s petrified. I’m petrified! Why aren’t you?”
“Because I’m not built that way, Bonita. I’m living for today and that’s it. Whatever happens tomorrow, I’ll deal with it then.”
“Would you deal with it by walking away?”
“I just said that I wouldn’t!” Gabe stabbed the palm of his hand with the pointer finger of his other hand. “If you love someone, you never leave them. If you take a vow, you keep it. I do dangerous work for a living—I have a friend, one of the best horse trainers in the business, who’s a quadriplegic. She was in a horse trailer at night with a horse she didn’t know and the horse spooked and crushed her. If we were married, and that happened to me, would you up and leave me?”
“No,” she said. “Of course not.”
“Then why would I leave you, if we end up on the wrong side of this thing?” Gabe asked. “Does the thought of that happening to you spook my mule? Hell yes, it does! But I don’t live in fear of anything or anybody, Bonita. You aren’t going to catch me running scared.”
They stared at each other for several long seconds and Bonita saw an opening that she decided to take. Gabe was finally talking and she didn’t know if it would happen again anytime soon.
“I saw the two of you together and there seems to be a lot of unfinished business there. Do you still love her?”
He looked up at the sky as if he were seeking help from God to deal with her question. Hands planted on his hips in a frustrated stance
, Gabe shook his head again and then said, “I’ve known her since we were kids. We grew up together. I’ll always care about her. But you’re a smart woman, Bonita. I just don’t get how you don’t understand how things are between us. I don’t love her, I love you.”
Of all the things he could have said to her, professing his love in that moment hadn’t been on her short list. Caught off guard at the sharp turn the conversation just took, Bonita pointed to the door. “I think your steak is burning.”
Seeming to be as anxious to escape the conversation as she was, Gabe went outside. He returned a moment later with a charred piece of meat. He threw the smoking steak into the sink and cursed. He stood at the sink for a moment and when he returned to the couch, he seemed calmer.
“She wanted to get married and have a family and I wasn’t ready. That’s all there is to it. We broke up, I left to train in California, and when I got back, she was engaged. I took another trip and when I got back she was married. Now it seems like she’s got another kid every time I get back into town.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m not. I wasn’t ready for all of that.”
“Are you now?”
“With the right woman.”
Bonita swallowed hard several times, willing herself to tell Gabe something she had been holding back since their first date on the boat. Back then she hadn’t known if it was something that even needed to be discussed. Now it did.
“If you want kids, then I’m definitely not the right woman for you.”
Gabe watched her and waited for her to finish.
“Even if I never develop ALS symptoms, I carry the gene. I refuse to pass this horrific disease down to one more generation.” Bonita looked him directly in the eyes. “I had my tubes tied last year. I will never bear a child of my own.”
“I have seven siblings.” That was his unexpected response to her revelation.
Her thought was so?
“Six brothers,” he added. “I think the Brand legacy is safe.”
“You don’t care about having your own kids?”
She’d seen an awful lot of Montana men proudly toting around their mini-cowboy sons complete with cowboy boots, cowboy hats and button-down shirts. She’d often imagined a little boy with Gabe’s handsome features and his striking eyes, but she had always known that she wouldn’t be the woman to give him that little boy.
“I don’t care about having kids. I care about having you.”
“If that’s true, then why have things between us been running on idle for so long, Gabe? I’m trying to figure this out. You won’t talk to me.”
“What the heck do you mean by running on idle?”
Did she really have to spell this out for him?
“You kiss me but that’s about as far as it goes.”
Now his expression was registering complete surprise. “Is that what this is all about? I’ve been trying to go nice and slow for you, Bonita! With all that you’ve got going on, the last thing you need is some guy pushing up on you! Believe me, woman, I’ve got other gears.”
She locked gazes with the cowboy, wanting to get lost in those aqua blue eyes of his. It took her the span of five heartbeats to say, “I’m ready for a higher gear.”
* * *
Gabe picked up Tater from Bonita’s lap, kissed her on the head and put her down on the ground. “Sorry, Tater. It’s my turn now.”
His mind had switched from the hunger in his stomach to a new hunger entirely. Not wanting to lose the moment, Gabe picked Bonita up in his arms and carried her around the fireplace to his king-size bed. The fact that she didn’t protest and instead placed her hand over his heart only served to embolden him. If Bonita wanted him to love her, he was more than ready, willing and able.
By the bed, he kissed those full, naturally pink lips, loving the feel of her mouth pressed against his. He was going to kiss this woman all over her body, something he had wanted to do for a long time.
Gabe put Bonita down on the bed gently and then closed the blinds on the large picture window that brought light into the small sleeping space. It was private at Little Sugar Creek, but his brothers were known to stop by unannounced.
Tater used the steps he had built for her to climb up onto the bed to join them.
“No, Tater.” Gabe picked her up and put her down on the floor. “Go to your bed.”
The Chihuahua complained with a little bark but trotted off toward her overstuffed dog bed in the living room.
Gabe was grateful that he would be making love to Bonita for the first time in the afternoon. Even with the blinds closed in the sleeping area, there was enough light streaming in from the rest of the house for him to see her. He wanted to see her; he’d been dreaming of this moment and he didn’t want her beauty to be hidden by the dark.
Wordlessly, Bonita let her hair down from the topknot she had fashioned that day. Her thick, long, flowing hair cascaded down over her shoulders. The days of waiting to bury his face in that hair, to feel the silken strands on his body, were over.
The woman of his dreams watched him unbutton his shirt and pull it out of the waistband of his jeans. He shrugged out of his shirt and tossed it on a nearby chair. He wasn’t shy about being naked in front of her—he was scarred and bruised and wiry from years of ranch work and horse training. But he knew he could please her if she would let him. He was worried about his hands; as rough and calloused as they were, he didn’t want them to scratch her soft skin.
Gabe didn’t take much time to strip down to his boxer briefs, knowing that, like many woman, she might want to get a look at what he was working with in the equipment department. He had already gotten aroused thinking about the lovemaking to come, so Bonita could window-shop while he stood nearly naked in front of her. He had already bared his heart to this woman—getting naked was the easy part.
With an accepting smile in her eyes, Bonita moved to the edge of the bed, knelt on the bed before him, put her hands on his stomach and tilted back her head for a kiss. Gabe took her face in his hands, held her captive and kissed her with the pent-up passion he had been feeling for months.
He possessed her with his lips and his tongue, tasting her, exploring her and letting himself get lost in the warmth of her mouth. He was the one in control of that moment, until he felt her hand move from his stomach to the heavy bulge in his underwear. At the mere touch of her hand, Gabe broke the kiss, closed his eyes tight and rested his forehead against hers. He was going to have to be careful not to lose too much control with this woman—he hadn’t prepared for this moment and he could finish way too quickly if he didn’t keep a tight rein on his passion.
When he lifted his head and opened his eyes, Bonita was smiling a small, pleased smile. He tugged on her shirt that was tucked in neatly to her slim-fit jeans. She didn’t resist when he pulled the garment free from her jeans and moved to lift it over her head and off her body. She was wearing a delicate satin-and-lace bra in the lightest of pinks. Her breasts, pushed up a bit by the bra, were full and rounded and tempting. He ran a single finger along the line of the lace, leaving a trail of goose bumps in his wake.
Gabe put his hands on her shoulders, ran them down her arms. He laced his fingers with hers and coaxed her to stand before him. He couldn’t resist taking her in his arms, feeling her thinly clad breasts pressed against his chest while he kissed her.
Her fingers beat him to the button of her jeans and she was laughing a little as she tried to unzip them and still keep her lips kissing his. She wiggled out of her jeans, stepped away from them.
Gabe stepped back and admired her; she was wearing bikini bottom underwear that matched her bra. He loved the curve of her hips and how muscular her legs were from years of riding. Her body had changed since her arrival in Montana—her arms were thicker from the work in the stable and around the ranch and her waist had thinned. The
lower half of her body was still luscious and toned and rounded, and he appreciated her womanly figure.
Gabe spun her around so her back was to him, pulled her back against him, ran his hands slowly over her breasts and her stomach, down the lacy band of her underwear while he kissed the back of her neck. Her breathing became quick and shallow and he was encouraged by the little gasp he heard when his fingers slipped inside of her panties. She was warm and wet, just for him.
He unhooked her bra and slipped the straps down her arms. She turned in his arms to face him again. Her breasts were round and natural and the nipples puckered with the anticipation of his mouth.
“Beautiful,” he murmured and bent down to take one of her nipples into his mouth.
Bonita’s hands were on his shoulders, her head back, her eyes shut and she moaned in pleasure as he suckled her breast. The ache in his body made him want to strip off her panties and sink into her fast and deep and hard, but he forced himself to slow down. This was his moment to please Bonita—to show her that he could give her body everything it needed. He dropped one last kiss on her taut nipple and then guided her back onto the bed.
“Lay back,” he commanded quietly.
There was a question in her eyes, but there was trust as well.
He leaned down, kissed her stomach and then pulled her panties down over her hips, down her thighs and then tossed them away. Bonita’s knees were together; he ran his hands up her thighs, her skin so silky to the touch, and then put his hands on either side of her knees.
“You know what I want.” His voice had deepened with desire.
Bonita nodded, the lids of her eyes lowered. He was grateful that she allowed him to gently separate her thighs to reveal her sweetest gift. He had wanted the taste of this woman on his lips for such a long time.
Gabe knelt before her, humbled by her beauty, and kissed her. She moaned with pleasure and he deepened the kiss, tasting her, loving her, with his tongue and his lips. This was not something he intended to rush; he wanted to feast on her until she was panting and squirming and crying out his name.