Everything exploded inside her, all the sensations being unleashed in a stampede of pleasure that rumbled across her entire body. A moment later, she felt Cain jerk inside her, the throbbing of his member only further pushing her into her the unexplored territory of the all-consuming pleasure she was experiencing.
She screamed out Cain’s name to the silent, unanswering forest. She heard the echo of her voice but continued to cry out in exclamation as the orgasm rocked her head to toe. Even as her body slowly relaxed, little aftershocks jolted inside her, reminders of the incredible orgasm he had given her.
Cain let out a huff of satisfaction. His hair was extra mussed now, and as he pulled out of her, then helped her get her swimsuit back on, she marveled at how caring and sweet he was.
Once they both had some clothes on, Cain got out of the water and brought the towels over, wrapping her up
“That was incredible,” he said, giving her a kiss, then running over to grab her dress she’d discarded earlier, followed by the leather jacket so she wouldn’t get cold.
After they were dried and dressed fully once again, they put on their helmets and got back on the motorcycle. As they drove home, Brenna let her mind wander over the events of the past few days, clutching onto Cain as he cornered the turns and sped through the empty countryside.
By the time they arrived home, she was exhausted from pleasure and the excitement of everything that had happened, and Cain carried her into the house, being careful to close and lock the doors behind them, then taking her upstairs and laying her on his bed.
Then he joined her. Thankfully, Bee was staying over at her friend’s house and probably wouldn’t be back until later the next morning.
As he gave her a pair of his pajamas to change into and then they both got under the covers together, warm and dry, she enjoyed the feel of his big body surrounding her, making her feel safe and wanted and cherished.
Then she heard his quiet voice against her ear. “Will you mate me?”
She looked over at him, stunned. “Cain… I—” She wanted to say yes, wanted to go with the moment. But she needed more time.
“I know,” he said. “You need to think about it.”
She nodded. “But it’s looking likely.”
His face lit, and he held her close. “Good enough for me.”
She cuddled in against him and fell asleep to the beat of his heart.
Nine
The next morning, Cain woke with Brenna next to him in his bed. It was an amazing thing just looking over and seeing her there beside him. The first thing he saw in the day.
Her lips were gently parted as she snored, and he grinned, reaching out to move a portion of the sheets off her face.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” he whispered.
He didn’t want to wake her, so he sat quietly, stretching and enjoying the sunlight. His dreams had been restful, but something inside him was buzzing at having officially asked Brenna to be his mate.
She’d said she’d think about it, but that wasn’t what was bothering him.
He had confidence he could win her over. The problem was the memories that had so far stayed away were starting to encroach, a dull headache that always told him something was coming.
A flashback.
He’d been to therapists over the years, but it hadn’t helped. The only thing that had stopped the night terrors was his career doing stunts and races.
And being with Brenna.
Maybe being with her could be enough to stop the demons. He brushed back her hair, and she stirred but didn’t wake, and tenderness moved through him.
And then a flash of screaming.
Maybe not.
It wasn’t fair for him to be with her with all this still inside him. So much unresolved.
Axel had often tried to figure out how to help Cain but hadn’t known what to do. Cain didn’t know the answer himself.
He just knew memories of the past brought a helplessness that was paralyzing, near murderous in its ability to stop his breath and fill him with fear and make him feel like a kid again.
Perhaps Beau and Axel coped better because they’d been useful during the fight. Beau had rescued at least one civilian, and Axel had fought alongside their father and uncle.
Meanwhile, Cain had been entirely paralyzed by fear.
It was a shame he carried with him always, though he was able to tuck it away. But at times, the unworthiness he felt was suffocating.
He’d just stood there, watching the fire and the fight, feeling unable to move his body, and finally, his father had yelled at Axel to take him out of there, just as the trees were falling in pillars of flaming cinder.
So he’d had to be dragged off, and that was when his paralysis had worn off. He’d fought to get to his dad. He’d screamed. He’d acted like a lunatic.
But it hadn’t mattered. In the ashes, his father was dead. His mother was devastated. His family was never the same, and they lived with their secrets and lies in the castle to protect those outside from people who would try to take their power.
Maybe it would all have been different if he’d been able to move.
He’d been useless because of his fear.
Thus, whenever he got a rush of adrenaline, anything even hinting at fear, he had to chase it. Had to follow it and overtake it and prove he would never be afraid anymore. That nothing could beat him or take anything from him again.
It wouldn’t bring back his father, but it made him feel less like a creature unworthy of breathing.
Maybe that’s why the prospect of mating Brenna was bothering him. He felt unworthy of that above all. Maybe because she’d kept insisting at first that he couldn’t have her, he hadn’t felt that shame. But now he did.
She was so beautiful. So perfect. If she could see what he’d done back then, what would she say?
She would look at him like he was a monster.
What if he told her it was his fault his father had never come back to visit Ox? That if he’d just been a little less of a freak, his dad might have been fine. All the pain she’d experienced, waiting for his family to come back and never seeing them, was that all his fault?
He couldn’t say. After all, what could one fourteen-year-old do in the face of so much evil?
But he also couldn’t ever know for sure that he couldn’t have saved them.
The thought would haunt him until he died, only giving him respite when he got on a bike and proved he wasn’t that coward.
But he couldn’t do that anymore.
He looked over at Brenna, feeling his heart call out to her. She didn’t want him to do that kind of thing. And he didn’t want to lose her.
He stood to go into the bathroom to wash his face, and he shut the door behind him so he wouldn’t wake her. He hoped an idea would come to him by the time he was done.
Oddly enough, the phone beeped next to him, and he raised an eyebrow at it. It was from the team manager.
Invite to Rocky Ridge! it read.
His heart dropped. Rocky Ridge was an invitation-only race that was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Extremely dangerous, only the best (or stupidest) riders in the world, and exactly what he needed at that moment to chase away the demons.
When? he texted back.
His phone rang, and he picked it up, toweling off his face. “Hello?” he said quietly.
“Cain,” his manager said, sounding ready to pee his pants in excitement. “The big one. The one you’ve always wanted.”
“The one the most people have died on,” he replied drily.
“The one you’ve always wanted,” his manager reiterated. Safety of his clients had never been high on his list of priorities. Cain had liked that about him before, but now…
“I don’t know,” Cain said. “I’ll have to think about it.”
“I can’t believe you,” the manager said. “You’ve wanted this forever. You have a day to decide, Cain. Or it goes to someone else.”
Cain put
a hand to his head. “I understand.”
And then his manager was gone with a click. Cain frowned as he realized the other people in that part of his life really didn’t care what dangerous thing he pulled as long as he drew crowds.
At least Brenna wasn’t like that.
On the other hand, he’d been preparing for this race his whole life. It was the ultimate in adrenaline highs. It made his heart race just contemplating it.
Maybe if he just did it, then his race against fear would be complete. He’d have done everything he wanted. Everything that scared him.
Maybe then he could settle down without his demons haunting him.
He put his hand on the handle and opened the door to see Brenna standing there in a blue nightshirt.
“Who were you talking to?” she asked, folding her arms.
“Did you hear?” he asked. “I was trying to not to wake you.”
“It’s something dangerous, isn’t it?” Worry filled her eyes. “They want you to race.”
“It’s an invite, yes,” he said coolly, pushing her gently in front of him into the bedroom and sitting her on the bed so he could sit beside her. “Listen, Brenna, I want to talk to you about it.”
She shook her head stubbornly. “It’s not a discussion. You aren’t going.”
“You haven’t even heard me out.”
“I heard you say the most people have died there.”
“That doesn’t mean I’ll die,” he said.
“It’s Rocky Ridge, isn’t it?” she asked.
“How did you know?”
She sighed. “It’s the one I was always dreading, back when I watched you race. I always hoped you wouldn’t do it. That they wouldn’t invite you, even though I knew it was inevitable. You’re just that good.”
He nodded. “It’s the chance of a lifetime.”
Her jaw dropped at that. “You aren’t seriously considering it, are you? When you have me?”
He took her hand in his. “Listen, Brenna. There’s a lot wrong with me. I love you. I want to mate you. But I think I need to do this. I need to… clear some things up.”
She stood abruptly, glaring down at him like an avenging angel, her curls standing up all around her head. “Clear some things up? What are you going to clear up in that death race?”
“I told you I don’t plan to die,” he stated.
“Right, and things always go according to plan.” She scoffed. “You should know more than most that isn’t true.” Her tone grew pleading. “Don’t do this, Cain.”
“I do know things don’t go according to plan when you let fear run your life,” he said. “I can’t let fear run me.”
She blinked, her eyes going glossy. “But you are. You’re letting your fear of whatever you’re running from control you.” She reached out and touched his shoulders, about at his level with her standing and him sitting on the bed.
He pulled her in with an arm around her waist and held her against him. “Can’t you just understand that maybe I need to do this? To exorcise my demons?”
She put a hand on his chest and used it to push herself away from him, regret in her eyes. “You can’t outrun demons on your bike, Cain. Not even at two hundred miles per hour. At some point, you have to decide to face them.”
He blinked. For a split second, he thought about telling her everything. Just vomiting up all the pain and shame and giving her the chance to walk away.
But it choked off his breath, made him feel like he was smothering, like he was that night in the fire-filled forest.
He stood abruptly. She looked up at him.
“I love you,” she said. “But I can’t sit by and wait while you self-destruct. You say this is it, but what if it’s not? What if there’s another and another? I can’t watch it again. Especially if we’re mates.”
“So you’re saying you won’t mate me if I do the race?” he asked. “You can’t trust me to be safe? You’ll give up everything if I won’t give up this one chance of a lifetime?”
Her golden eyes narrowed, her mouth twisting in pain. “I was the chance of a lifetime, too” she said. “But I always made it clear I didn’t want to watch you hurt yourself.”
“And I always made it clear I don’t do things that will,” he replied.
“You’ve been lucky so far. But can you really promise you’ll be safe?” she asked.
“No,” he said, folding his arms. “There’s never a guarantee. Fate can strike at any time. I could walk outside and lightning could strike me, and—”
“Yeah, but that’s a bullshit excuse to live recklessly,” she said, planting her hands stubbornly on her hips. “I care about you. I don’t want—”
“You don’t want me to get hurt.” He backed her up against the wall as he walked forward. “What if I’m already hurting? What if this is a way to make it stop?”
She shook her head, looking up at him sadly. “Cain, it’s not the way. I swear it’s not.”
“How could you know?” he asked, turning away bitterly. He couldn’t talk to her right now. She wouldn’t understand.
Things had been so good this week, up until this morning. He’d thought maybe he had a chance at normalcy. Being with her had been like life before his father died, before his life was all about fear and trying to face or avoid it.
He’d even thought maybe he could give up a life of danger. But maybe he was stupid for thinking that.
He pushed his way blindly out of the room and headed downstairs.
“Where are you going?” she called, following after him.
“I don’t know,” he said. “In the forest. To think. I can’t think here.”
She trailed him, but he put up a hand.
“I can’t,” he said. “I just can’t.”
She caught him by the elbow just as he was about to head outside. “Cain. If I’m going to be your mate, you have to let me in.”
He studied her honey eyes with his own. But the image of her face, disgusted with him, was too much to contemplate. “I’m going to do the race.”
She let him go. “Then you should leave.” Her tone was tight.
His heart was cracking, and hers probably was, too. But he’d never promised he could change. He wished she could understand more, but he knew she couldn’t if he didn’t let her in.
He changed into his lion, tearing through his clothes the second he got through the front door. He loped into the forest, feeling powerful and in control as his animal.
He ran and ran until he felt like nothing was chasing him and then plopped down in the shade of a tree.
Looking around at the forest, it was a lot like the one he’d been in when his father died. Thunder sounded overhead, and he looked up to see dark clouds that matched his mood.
He lowered his head and decided he was done running. He opened his mind to whatever was coming. Because he’d rather do that than run from his mate.
He closed his eyes, and when he opened them, fire surrounded him. The screaming had already started. He covered his head with his paws and let out a growl as the past overtook him.
Brenna watched as Cain tore away into the forest, his giant lion form disappearing into the shadows.
She worried for him, her heart breaking. Finally, she was seeing the darkness beneath the teasing façade. The face that had kept him away from her all those years, making him do dangerous stunts no matter who cared.
She rubbed her hands up and down her arms. Had she been wrong to say no to the race? She hadn’t liked the look in his eyes, somewhat wild and tortured, as he’d talked about it.
It was the one race she never wanted him to touch. She couldn’t imagine anyone doing it for any reason other than a death wish.
Yet she’d seen such fear in his eyes that she’d known his need to escape was very real. But him escaping his fear didn’t give him the right to make her live in fear instead.
She’d always have her heart broken if he stayed in those races. She’d never have a calm life with the m
an she loved. And one day, she might lose him horribly.
How could a man who was so thoughtful in so many other ways not realize that?
She stood at the doorway, wondering whether to go after him or let him face his demons alone, as he wanted to, when she saw movement in the brush.
She jumped back and slammed the door closed, locking it.
Shit.
Someone was out there.
A knock sounded on the door. “Brenna, you in there?”
She didn’t answer.
“I saw your prince leave,” Barker’s voice said, sarcastic.
“What do you want?” she snapped.
“You know what I want, baby,” he said.
She let out a frustrated breath. She just needed to stall until Cain came back. He would come back, right? Once he was feeling like himself again. Until then, she’d have to protect herself.
She walked into the kitchen and retrieved a large knife. She held it carefully and walked to the side of the door, staying beneath the window so she couldn’t be seen.
She heard Barker testing the lock. “We’ve always been meant to be together, Brenna,” he said in a slimy voice. “Ever since you were young.”
“You’re gross.”
“Ox didn’t think so,” he replied.
“You don’t know anything about him. He was stupid to come to you for medical bills, but he was a genuinely good person and assumed the best of others. But if he were here now, he’d think you were scum, too.” She took a deep breath. “And I’m never, ever going to mate with you. So you might as well get off my porch now.”
“You don’t want to say that,” he said in a dark tone.
She gritted her teeth. “You can’t threaten me anymore,” she said. “I don’t care what you do. I’m not coming out there, and Cain will be back any minute.”
He was quiet. “So it’s Cain now, is it? You’re on first-name terms?”
She laughed. “Far more than that. We’ve been very… intimate.” She was tired of letting this man just walk all over them, letting him come into their house and threaten her while she tried to hide it from Bee. Bee was happy and safe at Theresa’s house, so she could speak her mind for once.
Prince of Fate (Lions of Pride Island Book 2) Page 8