...Though, it was also possible Bifrons had a weird fetish.
“Well, that’s fortunate, isn’t it? Next time, I’ll take measures to keep you from being used as a guinea pig,” Zagan said, a fleeting smile gracing his face.
Nephteros stiffened up and stared at the sight in wonder. Then, she turned bright red and hid her face in embarrassment.
“Th-That’s none of your business. Really, I’m surprised you’re so ki... I mean, I’m surprised you’re so hospitable. I’m the one who tried to hurt Nephy, remember?”
“Nephy and I don’t have time to dwell on a brat throwing a temper tantrum,” Zagan said, looking about ready to burst into laughter.
“A brat? Look, I’m not sure how old you are, but I’m older than Nephelia, got it?”
“I see,” Zagan muttered with a nod, then continued, “Now that I think of it, how old are you?” Zagan knew it was rude to ask a lady for her age, but he wasn’t one to be bound by societal norms.
“I-I’m.... Huh? I... am...?” Nephteros was left daunted by his rather blunt question. She began cradling her head, clearly confused and unable to pin down an answer.
“What’s wrong?”
“No... It’s... nothing,” Nephteros claimed before glaring back at Zagan.
“More importantly, even if you are an Archdemon, you should know it’s rude to ask a lady for her age.”
“You’re the one who brought up the subject. I don’t have any interest in your age...” Zagan said as he raised both his hands to surrender.
“Hmph...” Nephteros’ silver hair swayed as she scoffed at him and walked down the corridor.
“It can’t be... Does she not know her age?” Zagan muttered to himself gravely. That was a bad sign.
Zagan was left frozen in place, fearing the worst, for a quite a while after that exchange.
◇
“...I can’t sleep,” Nephy mumbled in a puzzled tone for the millionth time that night. She had gotten her own room, but was unable to sleep due to all the thoughts running through her mind.
“...Master Zagan,” Nephy desperately called out to him. However, this was not his castle. He had his own bed for once, so he was probably fast asleep.
Is sleeping in the same bed as him out of the question? Would that bother him? He had allowed her to sit on his lap many times by that point, but they had only slept in each other’s arms twice. There was the evening Zagan purchased Nephy, and the night Zagan revealed his past to her.
From time to time, Nephy found that her bed got cold. And whenever that happened, she prayed to sleep under the same covers as him in order to press into his warm, comforting body. Unfortunately, Zagan always slept atop his throne, which kept them apart.
I’m acting far too spoiled... Nephy shook her head in a fluster as her thoughts began to run wild. She was rather worried about what Zagan would think of her if she acted on her desires. She chose to believe he felt the exact same way, but that didn’t mean he would reciprocate.
Of course, no matter what she did, Zagan would accept her. She knew that. However, it was still difficult to put herself out there.
Nephy’s ears turned completely red as she began writhing around in her bed. She could hardly contain her imagination.
“I really can’t sleep...” Nephy gave up after twisting and turning a few more times and got up off her bed. After stretching her hand out to the bedside table, she snapped her thin fingers, lighting the candle on it. That was basic sorcery Zagan taught her.
Next, Nephy tried opening the window. Though it was a window, it was made of simple wood planks, and there wasn’t anything like glass set in it. By using the pole attached to each plank, you could pull them to the side to open them.
Moonlight streamed into the room as Nephy stared fixedly at one of the houses in the ruined village. That one just happened to be the place she was raised.
“...Odd. I don’t particularly feel anything,” Nephy said as she held her hand to her chest. Her pulse was the same as always, her breathing was normal, and she didn’t feel the least bit nervous.
I thought it would hurt more... Even Zagan seemed fairly worried about her, which was why he tagged along. And yet, she was so calm that her return was anti-climactic. If elven corpses were strewn about, she may have at least felt pain in her heart, but there weren’t even any traces of blood, and the buildings were largely intact. It was as if the residents had just vanished.
The tranquility of it all made her doubt that she actually lived there only a few months ago. No, that was a little wrong. It felt more like she’d returned to how she used to be before she met Zagan.
“Oh, I see. I used to feel like this all the time.”
She was raised in an environment where great expectations resulted in great pain. Nobody would even look at her, and her mere presence was considered an evil influence.
That was why Nephy shut herself off from the world. If she stopped thinking, the pain eased a little. If she stopped moving, the pain became easier to handle. In exchange for not feeling pain, she was no longer able to feel joy. And so, all she did was sit still and pray her meaningless life would come to a swift end.
Her heart came to a standstill. She became an empty husk once more. However, that was no good. She had to come to terms with her past. Otherwise, traveling back to her hometown was pointless. If she continued to give in to her horrid memories, she would never again feel the warmth of love from Zagan and the rest of her family.
“I don’t want that...” Nephy no longer wanted to die. In fact, it was no exaggeration to say her life only began the moment she met Zagan. She wanted to live for his sake. She wanted to continue her life with Zagan, Foll, Chastille, Manuela, Raphael, Gremory, Kimaris, and even Barbatos. That was why she simply had to cast aside her past self.
And, as she continued to stare at the house she once lived in to affirm her resolve...
“Huh...?” Nephy spotted a faint light in her old house.
Is somebody... still there?The windows were the same as the one Nephy was looking through, so a small amount of light seeped through the gaps in the wood planks. Something was up.
For all she knew, it could have been a traveler or a bandit, but it definitely wasn’t a natural occurrence.
“I must notify Master Zagan immediately...” Nephy started heading toward Zagan’s room when her feet suddenly came to a stop.
Is that really alright, I wonder...? Did Zagan really need to know? If he listened to her and investigated her old house, wouldn’t he just do all the work as she sat back and relaxed? How exactly was she overcoming her old, weak self if she just let him protect her over and over?
“...My apologies, Master Zagan. Forgive me for acting of my own volition,” Nephy said as she shook her head.
And at that moment, for the very first time, Nephy walked forward on her own two feet with no one there to support her.
◇
Nephy slipped on her boots, then took a pen in hand and began scribbling down what had happened and what she was about to do. She was dead set on following through with her plan, but she was unsure how it would turn out in the end. Disappearing without a word would have been in poor taste, so she finished writing a memo before she jumped out the window.
It’s really cold... Nephy was wearing her usual maid outfit near snowcapped mountains, which obviously left her trembling.
“Half a year ago, I wouldn’t even have been able to feel the cold...”
Did that just mean she had gotten weaker? Well, I can accept that sort of weakness.
Honestly, she wanted Zagan to develop the same type of weaknesses that she had. That man was far too strong. He had learned to rely on others somewhat recently, but there were still parts of him that wished to take care of everything on his own. And Nephy believed that being able to do everything resulted in more worries. She wished that he was weaker so he’d be forced to accept help from all sorts of people. Otherwise, everyone’s gratitude would never get through
to him.
“I want to grow strong enough to have Master Zagan rely on me...” Nephy muttered as she was taking the first steps toward achieving that goal. After crossing over the open space, she rushed to her old home. Though, it was never exactly home to her. In fact, she could only stay in one corner of the storehouse. The only time she was ever allowed into other rooms was to help out with cleaning or other chores.
She knew absolutely nothing about the other residents. Forget family, the people she’d lived with for the first sixteen years of her life weren’t even her acquaintances.
Nephy’s hand began trembling slightly as she moved to open the door, but this time, it wasn’t due to the cold. She was scared. However, oddly enough, she was relieved by the sight.
It’s alright. I’m not the same person anymore... Her emotions were functioning properly, which meant she was ready to face whatever was beyond that door. Clutching her chest with her left hand, Nephy took a deep breath and twisted the doorknob.
“...Huh?”
Warm air rushed out from the other side of the door. Upon taking a closer look, Nephy noticed the fireplace was lit. It seemed that was the source of light she spotted from her room.
Wish me luck, Master Zagan... Nephy thought as she stared back at the elder’s manor.
She knew Zagan would be furious when he found out, but this was a problem Nephy had to face on her own. And so, Nephy took a step into the house she once lived in.
The place looked largely the same as the elder’s manor. The floor was made of wood planks, but the walls were just moss-covered stones piled atop each other. Surprisingly, despite the simplistic windows, there wasn’t even so much as a draft. The room was quite warm, which probably served to push the cold air back, but Nephy knew that would quickly change if the fireplace was extinguished.
The interior of the room hadn’t changed at all. There were several paintings hung on each wall, and a small altar was installed near the entryway that they used to offer prayers to at mealtime. Other than that, there was a single dilapidated table with four wooden chairs around it. Seemed like the place belonged to a family of four.
She hadn’t walked around the house enough to be familiar with it, but nothing looked out of place. In fact, it looked exactly the same as when the humans attacked the village, which had Nephy questioning her memory.
The people of this house are likely all dead... Nephy found that unfortunate, even though she knew those people cursed her with their dying breath. She may not have known them enough to mourn them, but she did pity them.
After mulling over her thoughts for a while, Nephy surveyed the rest of the house. And despite the fact that the fireplace was lit, there wasn’t even any trace of footprints to be found.
She was looking around restlessly, doing her best to find a lead, when one of the paintings on the wall suddenly caught her attention. There was only a single artist in the entire village, and he always gifted families a painting to go along with each new baby. That was why there should have been as many paintings as children in this house, but...
“My painting... isn’t here?” Nephy never had a chance to take a close look at the place before, so that fact had escaped her. Perhaps they didn’t want to hang up a painting of a cursed child, or maybe the artist himself refused to make one. However...
“Where exactly was I born?”
This had to be her hometown, but she had failed to find any definitive proof that she was born and raised here. Thus far, she had believed the people of this house were her blood relatives, but was that really the case? Would her own family have hated her for no reason?
What am I thinking? Parental bonds are a myth... Even Zagan was left alone in the world, forced to fend for himself from a young age. Forget his parents’ faces, he didn’t even know their names. If they were somehow still alive, they would have no connection to speak of.
Surely, such fickle bonds were naught but illusion. Or at least, that was what Nephy believed.
Being with all these people who aren’t related to me by blood... is far better.
Zagan, who was a complete stranger, was the first one to truly ever make Nephy feel loved. And the first ones to call her a friend were Chastille and Manuela, who she had only just met recently. After that, Foll came along as a daughter of sorts, which made her feel like part of a family for the very first time.
Not a single one of them were related to her by blood. There were no such bonds tying them at all together, and that was no issue.
I must... figure out who I really am.... And just as she thought that, the painting that she was gazing at began to distort.
“Huh...?” Nephy watched on as four shadows slipped out of the painting in front of her. She could immediately tell they were the figures of the family who lived here.
An illusion? Nephy cast her gaze around her surroundings, but was unable to find the origin. Zagan probably would have been able to identify the location of the sorcerer at a glance, but Nephy was nowhere near as skilled as him. When it came to just sorcery, even the sorcerers working at the castle all surpassed her. Having said that, mysticism wasn’t a power that always manifested the desired result, which made it a completely unknown element. There was no guarantee she was their better even with it added into the mix.
Each of the illusions took a seat around the table, then began cheerfully laughing. They were the spitting image of a happy family.
I’ve never seen that look on their faces... Nephy had only ever had scorn or disgust directed at her. She couldn’t possibly have imagined them laughing merrily.
“They look so happy...” Nephy muttered. And then, that happy scene began melting away in response. The next illusion was one filled with dead bodies. Their once-smiling faces were tainted by the bright red blood flowing from their heads, and their mouths were belting out words of pain and resentment.
‘Why didn’t you save us?’ they asked. ‘I don’t want to die,’ they wailed. ‘Nephy should have died instead,’ they complained.
“You have the right to resent me...” Nephy knew that she may have been able to save them if she had fought against the invading humans. But instead, she had allowed them to be slaughtered, and that was something she would regret for the rest of her life.
Witnessing the agony that they went through pained Nephy. Surely, if they had met under different circumstances, they could have gotten along. Or perhaps, as she was now, she could have developed an actual relationship with them.
“However...” Nephy mumbled as the image of the corpses was burned into her mind, then continued, “If it was that painful, why didn’t you protect each other?”
I would put my life on the line to protect Zagan or Foll, so shouldn’t these people have done the same? Nephy would never have been willing to just cower and die like these elves. And as she spurned their memories with such thoughts, the illusion of the corpses shattered like glass, and darkness enveloped her once more. Except this time, even the light from the fireplace had vanished.
It’s cold... The once warm room had chilled immensely. The sudden change even had Nephy wondering if the fireplace had actually been lit at all. She looked over to it, but couldn’t sense any heat coming off it. Even if a fire were extinguished with water, the heat from the firewood should still have remained. And at that moment, everything clicked into place.
Was I... lured out here...? In the end, it may have been better to at least alert Zagan before coming here. However, Nephy did not regret her decision.
The culprit should be around here somewhere... Nephy braced herself as she took another look around the place, but she was only met by a mocking laugh.
“Kufufu, how brave...”
Nephy was horrified by that voice, which was accompanied by a shadow stretching out of the floor. On top of the room being dimly lit, the shadow was wearing a hood, so she couldn’t tell if it was a man or woman. However, based on their voice, she did know it was someone considerably older.
This
person is far stronger than me...! Nephy raised her guard as she shifted her focus over to the exit. She had learned the basics of sorcery and could use mysticism quite freely in this specific location, which meant celestial mysticism wasn’t out of the question. If she fought without worrying about her own safety, she could defeat even a skilled sorcerer. Unfortunately, she could tell the person before her was a step above that.
I must survive and return to Master Zagan’s side... If she didn’t, he would feel responsible for her death and blame himself for not being by her side. Nephy wanted to be Zagan’s pillar of support, so she couldn’t possibly make him suffer that.
That was why Nephy’s number one priority was returning to his side. The true identity of the shadow, as well as why it lured her out alone, was irrelevant in the face of that desire.
Sadly, I have to stand and fight... There would have been no point in her heading out alone if she tried to run away just because her opponent was stronger than her.
She had to fight, survive, and return alive. That was the result Nephy desired. And having come to that conclusion, she opened her mouth to speak.
“Why... did you show me that?”
“Hmm... You’re not running away or anything, huh?” the shadow unexpectedly replied. After that, she could somehow tell its mouth warped into a smile before saying, “So, how was it? The figure of those who tormented you being punished, I mean.”
“...It was the worst possible feeling,” Nephy replied. It had felt like she killed the same people twice.
This is not a place for me to bend a knee and yield... Nephy was only permitted to collapse in the presence of Zagan. And since she came here without his permission, she was not allowed to break down and cry.
The shadow then stuck out a hand that resembled a dead branch and touched its own jaw with it.
“How interesting. You’re surprisingly straightforward for someone who’s been forced to lock away her emotions her whole life. I can also sense a strong will to live within you... You should have obtained a fragment of celestial mysticism, right? And yet, you’re not the least bit arrogant... Very interesting indeed.”
An Archdemon's Dilemma: How to Love Your Elf Bride: Volume 4 Page 7