by Suzy Kline
Other Books by Suzy Kline
Horrible Harry in Room 2B
Horrible Harry and the Green Slime
Horrible Harry and the Ant Invasion
Horrible Harry’s Secret
Horrible Harry and the Christmas Surprise
Horrible Harry and the Kickball Wedding
Horrible Harry and the Dungeon
Horrible Harry and the Purple People
Horrible Harry and the Drop of Doom
Horrible Harry Moves Up to Third Grade
Horrible Harry Goes to the Moon
Horrible Harry at Halloween
Horrible Harry Goes to Sea
Horrible Harry and the Dragon War
Horrible Harry and the Mud Gremlins
Horrible Harry and the Holidaze
Horrible Harry and the Locked Closet
Horrible Harry and The Goog
Horrible Harry Takes the Cake
Horrible Harry and the Triple Revenge
Horrible Harry Cracks the Code
Horrible Harry Bugs the Three Bears
Horrible Harry and the Dead Letters
Horrible Harry on the Ropes
Horrible Harry Goes Cuckoo
Horrible Harry and the Secret Treasure
Horrible Harry and the June Box
Horrible Harry and the Scarlet Scissors
Horrible Harry and the Stolen Cookie
Horrible Harry and the Missing Diamond
Horrible Harry and the Hallway Bully
Horrible Harry and the Wedding Spies
Horrible Harry and the Top-Secret Hideout
Horrible Harry and the Birthday Girl
VIKING
Penguin Young Readers Group
An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York 10014
First published in the United States of America by Viking, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, 2017
Text copyright © 2017 by Suzy Kline
Illustrations copyright © 2017 by Penguin Random House LLC
Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA IS AVAILABLE
Ebook ISBN: 9780425288238
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DEDICATED TO
the millions of children in the United States who get lice every year and are embarrassed about it, and to the school nurses who make a real difference in a child’s life by just being kind and helpful.
Special appreciation to . . .
the National Association of School Nurses (nasn.org) and the American Academy of Pediatrics (healthychildren.org) for their helpful websites; my husband, Rufus, for his encouragement and wisdom; and most of all, my hardworking editor, Leila Sales, for her valuable help!
Contents
Other Books by Suzy Kline
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Bug Partners
The Bug Harry Hates
The Guillotine
Cafeteria Doom
The Battle Begins
The Nurse’s Room
The L Talk
Going to Mary’s House
lt All Comes Out in the Wash
Epilogue
Ten lmportant Questions About Head Lice
Bug Partners
My name is Doug and I’m in third grade at South School. Usually I write stories about my best friend Harry and the creepy-crawly things he loves, like ants, Edward the earwig, and Charles, his pet spider.
This time my story is different. It is about the one creepy-crawly thing that Harry hates and how he declared a battle against it!
It all started when we were outside in the new nature center next to our school. Miss Mackle—I mean, Mrs. Flaubert (I have to remember her new married name)—exclaimed, “Isn’t this wonderful! We have our own science lab right here in this empty lot!”
“Can we climb a tree?” Sid asked.
“No,” the teacher replied firmly, “but you can look closely at the bark for bugs. We are going to discover so many living things here!”
Harry took out his magnifying necklace. “Hey, guys! There’s one right here on this oak tree. A beetle!”
Lots of kids joined Harry to watch the black bug scurry along.
I took a step back. Bugs are not my favorite thing!
Mrs. Flaubert passed out plastic magnifying glasses to all of us. “See how many different bugs you can find. Observe them, and jot down in your notebook where you find them. Do a quick sketch of their habitat—the natural home where each bug lives. When we get back to the classroom, we’ll see if we can identify some of the insects just like real scientists do.”
“Real scientists!” Mary exclaimed. “Can we work with a partner?” she asked, looking over at Ida and Song Lee.
“I had the same thought,” the teacher replied. “You can collaborate with each other!” She took a piece of paper from her pocket. “I picked names out of the glass jar on my desk to make a list of bug partners for our entomology studies.”
“What’s that?” Sid asked.
“The study of insects,” Mary answered. “We learned that in second grade when we visited the pond with Professor Guo. He was an entomologist. He studied insects in their natural habitats!”
“Oh yeah!” Sid exclaimed. “I remember now!”
“Yes!” the teacher replied. “We are being entomologists when we study insects.”
Harry was still watching that black beetle. He has been an entomologist his whole life!
“Sidney and ZuZu, you’ll be partners,” the teacher began. The two boys immediately started looking for insects on an old log.
“Harry and Song Lee,” Mrs. Flaubert called out. Harry suddenly stopped looking at that black bug and turned around. He flashed a toothy smile at Song Lee. Song Lee smiled back. Harry has liked her ever since kindergarten, when she brought in a potato beetle for show-and-tell.
“Dexter and Ida,” the teacher continued. Ida did a pirouette on one foot, spinning around in the dirt. She takes ballet. When Dexter heard her name, he pretended to strum a guitar. He loves Elvis! I could tell they were happy about being partners.
When Mrs. Flaubert got to the very end, Mary and I were left standing there. “And you two!” she concluded, smiling again.
“Great!” Mary replied. “Come on, Doug, we need to find a beautiful insect. Don’t touch it though,” she warned. “Some bite!”
I rolled my eyes. Working with Mary was like teaming up with the school principal.
“Is there such a thing as a beautiful bug?” I asked.
“Of course!” Mary insisted. “Come on, Doug, follow me.”
Mary was smart but very bossy.
So how bad could things get?
I found out half an hour later!
The Bug Harry Hates
Mary and I were sitting next to each other at one of the picnic tables in the nature center, drawing butterflies. “Be sure to include the milkweed plant,” Mary coached. Then she poin
ted to the green leaves I was drawing. “You don’t have any flowers or cream-colored eggs. You have to put those in, Doug. That’s why the monarch butterfly goes to a milkweed plant—to get nectar and lay her eggs.”
I sighed. I didn’t feel like drawing flowers or eggs. When I looked up, I could see Harry and Song Lee looking for more bugs near our table.
“Hey, Dougo,” Harry said. He was standing right behind me now. “I just spotted a tiny bug!”
“Yeah?” I said. I reached for the blue crayon.
Mary snatched it out of my hand and handed me a purple one. “You have to make the flowers a violet color,” she ordered.
“I was putting in the sky!” I snapped.
“You’re supposed to be an entomologist, Doug! They don’t color in the sky when they’re drawing a habitat!”
I put the crayon down. I needed a break from Mary! “What new bug did you see, Harry?” I said.
“It’s a minuscule bugger about the size of a sesame seed.”
“No kidding?” I replied. “Good thing you have a magnifying glass.”
“Where is it?” Song Lee asked.
“Right here in Doug’s hair.”
“What?” I exclaimed.
Mary looked worried.
“Get it off!” I said, not moving an inch.
Suddenly, my heart started beating faster.
What if it was lice?
I could feel my face burning up. I was so embarrassed!
Harry moved in. He started looking closely at my scalp, parting strands of hair with his fingers. “Looks like their natural habitat is your head, Dougo.”
Mrs. Flaubert approached our picnic table. “What’s going on, boys? I thought we were observing bugs in our new nature center.”
Harry looked up. “We are. I just found two tiny ones in Doug’s hair.”
“T-t-two?” I stuttered.
When I looked at the teacher it was hard to focus. My eyes were filling up with water.
Mrs. Flaubert patted my shoulder. “Don’t worry, Doug. I’ll have the school nurse take a look. It may just be dandruff.”
“Or the one bug that I hate,” Harry whispered.
Oh please, I thought. Let it be dandruff!
The Guillotine
I asked if Harry could go with me to the nurse’s office, but the teacher said no.
So I walked down the hall alone toward the little room at the end. I felt like I was going to the guillotine! But, I realized as I thought about it more, if I did get my head chopped off, I wouldn’t have lice anymore!
That made me laugh out loud!
For about two seconds.
“Hi, Doug,” the school nurse said when I appeared at her door. She likes to wear blouses with fruit on them. Today it was clumps of red grapes. She smelled like soap.
“Hello, Mrs. Cherry,” I said, moaning.
Suddenly, Harry popped up in the doorway. He had a note in his hand. “My head started itching,” he said, “so Mrs. Flaubert said for me to come, too.”
When Harry winked, I gave him a nod. We both knew he was faking it.
“Mary said she doesn’t want to be your bug partner anymore,” Harry told me. “She thinks you have lice. You can work with Song Lee and me, Dougo!”
That brought some relief. I’d rather not work with Mary!
“I think it’s time for me to visit your class,” Mrs. Cherry replied. “I need to clear up some misunderstandings about head lice.”
I was hoping to be in Timbuktu then.
After Mrs. Cherry examined my head, she examined Harry’s. I could watch her better when she did his. She pulled strands of hair apart, then looked closely at the scalp behind his ears and just above his neck.
As soon as she was finished, she started tapping a number on the telephone. “I didn’t see any lice on your head, Harry, but I did find some nits, or lice eggs, on yours, Doug.”
Oh no! I had lice!
The nurse looked at me. “Does your head itch?”
“No. I don’t feel anything.”
“Some people don’t. Others itch. Some people have trouble sleeping and are irritable when they get lice.”
“Doug’s been a grouch!” Harry joked.
I just rolled my eyes while Mrs. Cherry put the phone to her ear.
She talked to my mom about the situation, then handed the receiver to me. “She wants to talk with you, Doug.”
“Mom?” I said.
“Honey, I’m so sorry you got lice. But no worries, I can treat it when you come home. It will all come out in the wash. How are you feeling?”
“Nothing hurts. I can’t even feel the lice on my head. But I feel lousy,” I moaned.
“Speaking of lousy,” Harry piped up, “did you know one lice is a louse?”
I sank down further into my chair. “Can I come home, Mom, now?” I asked.
Then the lunch bell rang.
“The nurse said you could finish your school day, dear,” she replied. “She doesn’t want you to miss any schoolwork. I’ll call the doctor and ask him what shampoo I should use. We can take care of the problem right after school, but if you’re uncomfortable, Mrs. Cherry also said I could come and get you earlier.”
“I am not going to be comfortable until I get those nits out of my hair!” I said.
“Then I’ll pick you up in an hour, Doug. I may have to stop by the pharmacy first.”
I handed the phone back to the nurse. After she and my mom exchanged a few words, Mrs. Cherry hung up.
“Why don’t you and Harry go have lunch in the cafeteria? After you have a bite to eat, you can get your things and wait for your mom in the office. Just don’t have any head-to-head contact with anyone, because that will spread the lice.”
“I won’t!” I said.
When we got out into the hallway, Harry spoke first. “It’s a bummer that you’re going home, Dougo. You’ll miss doing the bug research this afternoon.”
“No problem, Harry,” I replied. “I’m taking the bugs with me. I have my own science lab on my head.”
When we both laughed, it felt kind of good.
“Look,” Harry said. “I’ll come over after school and we can both battle the bugs together! I have a special weapon I can use.”
“Sounds good,” I said. “I’ll be waiting for you.”
As we walked into the cafeteria, we spotted Room 3B’s table. As soon as Mary saw us coming, she started whispering to her friends.
At that moment, I wanted to disappear from South School!
Cafeteria Doom
The cafeteria was serving mac and cheese. Ordinarily that’s one of my favorites. But today was different. I was in such a gloomy mood, I didn’t even care.
“Big helping, please,” Harry said as we scooted our trays along the lunch line.
Mrs. Funderburke, the head cook, had oven mitts on and was taking another tray out of the oven. “I made plenty,” she said with a big smile. “How are you boys today?”
“Great!” Harry said. “I like your apron!”
Mrs. Funderburke beamed. Harry is her favorite.
“How about you, Doug?” the cook asked.
I just shrugged. I didn’t feel like talking.
“He just came down with a bug,” Harry said.
I jabbed him in the ribs.
“I hope it’s not a cold,” the cook replied.
“No, a bad mood bit him,” Harry explained.
When Mrs. Funderburke chuckled, I shot Harry a look.
“That happens to everyone, Doug,” she said, giving me an extra helping of mac and cheese.
“Thanks,” I said.
When we left the kitchen, I whispered to Harry, “I don’t want to talk about it! Don’t bring it up again. And definitely don’t say the L word.”
As soon as we sat down, Mary moved over so she wouldn’t have to sit next to us. Sydney and Ida and Dexter and ZuZu joined her.
I understood why they moved down. I probably would have done the same thing if someone near me had lice. But it still made me feel bad.
Mary leaned forward and made a face at me and Harry. “I bet you both have lice. You two are best friends. Eweyee, eweyee. You should eat in the hallway.”
Song Lee stayed where she was and kept eating her kimchee across from us with a plastic spoon. “I got lice in first grade,” she said. “My little sister got it, too. My mom was able to get the nits out of my hair with a tiny comb. It was no fun.”
It was good to know I wasn’t the only one on planet Earth who had it.
Harry had a mouth full of mac and cheese when Mrs. Funderburke stopped by our table. “How are you all doing?” she asked.
“Good!” lots of kids replied.
Mary waved at the cook. “The only time I eat hot lunch is on mac-and- cheese day,” she called out. “Your recipe is better than my mom’s.”
“You’re so thoughtful, Mary,” the cook replied.
Yeah, I thought. Real thoughtful.
“I brought some extra Parmesan cheese, kids,” the cook said. “Help yourself!”
She passed it to me first. “Thanks,” I said.
I sprinkled a little on and then handed the container to Harry. After he dumped a mountain of that cheese on his macaroni, he slid the plastic container down the table to Mary’s group.
Mary immediately leaned back. “Don’t touch it, guys,” she whispered, “or you’ll get lice, too!”
Sid and Ida obeyed. Dexter pushed it back with a napkin.
That’s when I knew going to Timbuktu wouldn’t be far enough. I had to go to Siberia.
After the cook left, Song Lee stared at Mary. She was whispering something in Ida’s ear. Then she looked at me and laughed.