“I knew there was a catch,” he sighed in disgust as he signed his name. It rankled that he was forced to transfer all of his property and wealth to his mother-in-law – even if it was for his own defense and the good of his children.
Herr Müller proceeded to talk about his plans to appeal Q’s sentence and turn it into lifelong prison instead of a death sentence.
As long as lifelong meant the duration of Hitler’s Third Reich and not Q’s life, Q didn’t mind. He was convinced that the “Thousand Year Empire” wouldn’t last but another year or two at most.
At the end of their half-hour discussion, the lawyer tucked the papers away. “I’ve also contacted Ingrid Quedlin and Gunther Quedlin.”
“You’ve talked with my mother and brother?” Q asked, perplexed.
“Yes. Your brother has kindly offered to help as much as is needed,” Herr Müller said while getting ready to leave.
“Please give my best wishes and my thanks to him,” Q said hesitantly. Gunther was a lawyer himself, but Q wasn’t sure how he felt about dragging his brother into this mess. He’d had enough grief in his own life, having been forced to retire from his job at the Ministry of Education shortly after the Nazis came into power due to being a member of the Social Democratic Party.
“There appears to be some tension between Frau Klein and your side of the family.”
Q gave a chuckle, the first one in a long time. “More than you imagine. My mother hates Frau Klein. Gunther hates Hilde and Frau Klein. Frau Klein hates her ex-husband, who is Hilde’s father. She also hates his second wife. Hilde hates her mother. And believe it or not, even my mother and brother have been hot and cold for as long as I can remember. In this family, nobody talks with anybody and grudges are held onto for life.”
The attorney chuckled and shook his head. “It’s really a shame when families cannot get along with one another. Really a shame. Good day.” Herr Müller shook Q’s hand, then knocked on the door to be let outside.
As they waited for the door to open, the lawyer turned to look at Q and said, “Propaganda minister Goebbels has called for total war. He’s supposed to hold a speech in the Sportpalast.”
Q paled. Goebbels’s total war was one that had been rumored as a last resort. The Reich would be monitoring all civilian activities. Anything that didn’t directly help the war effort would be shut down, and the people put to work elsewhere. No one, not even the rich, would be able to escape the demands of the Party.
He also knew that if it had come to this, the war would continue mercilessly until one of the parties surrendered unconditionally. And it wouldn’t be the Allies. The hardships the German people had suffered were only just beginning.
Chapter 15
January 27, 1943
Hilde looked into the heavily spotted mirror and braided her hair as best she could. The day of her trial had arrived, and she wanted to look like a good, and innocent, German housewife.
Everyone, including her lawyer and the prison guards, had told her that, in the worst case, she’d be sentenced to five to ten years in jail. The most probable outcome was one to two years, and with some luck, she’d be allowed to go home today.
Normally, prisoners were allowed to take a shower once a week, in groups of ten. Ten women. Three showers. Twenty minutes. Still, it was a luxury compared to the Gestapo cellars.
But today, she’d been given twenty minutes alone in the showers in order to look nice for her trial. It was a special concession given by Frau Herrmann. She was in her early twenties, and her wavy blonde hair fell down on her shoulders, giving her an angelic look. But that wasn’t the reason the women called her Blonde Angel.
They had given her the nickname because she was always helping the prisoners in one way or another. She smuggled secret messages in and out, never withheld news from the outside, sneaked them extra rations or other small favors when possible, and always had a nice word and smile on her lips – for everyone. She truly was an angel.
Hilde smiled. She’d learned to find joy in the smallest things, like taking an extra shower.
Her fingers trembled as she finished braiding her long brown hair. She’d spent the time since her lawyer announced the date of her trial vacillating between hope and despair. He hadn’t visited again, nor had anyone else. Not even Kriminalkommissar Becker and his henchmen.
Not that she missed them, but it had left her with far too much time on her hands to think. About the past. About Q. About her two little boys. About her mother and the future…it was an emotional ride.
“You look nice,” Frau Hermann said. “Your automobile is waiting for you.”
My automobile is waiting for me? Hilde suppressed a giggle but nonetheless felt a tiny bit like royalty.
Frau Herrmann escorted her down and handed her over to two male police officers. “Good luck.”
The police weren’t unfriendly and helped her get into the back of the truck. Apparently, normal police still had some manners.
The truck stopped, the door opened, and another prisoner climbed inside. His nose had been broken, and green and black bruises disfigured his face. It took Hilde a few moments to recognize the newcomer.
“Hello, Erhard,” she said.
He blinked and looked at her with a dull expression on his face. His eyes probably had to adapt to the darkness in the truck first.
A police officer jumped inside and shackled Erhard to the wall opposite her.
“Hello, Hilde,” Erhard greeted her, his voice thick.
“No talking,” the policeman ordered and jumped out. Hilde heard him bolt the door, and a few seconds later, the vehicle started moving again.
With barely audible whispers, she talked to Erhard. His wife had also been arrested, but they’d released her after a few days.
Hilde decided to take it as a good omen.
The truck stopped in front of the courthouse, and she and Erhard were escorted up the steps and seated together on the defendant’s bench. Despite their not being allowed to speak to one another, his mere presence gave her strength.
Hilde scanned the room for her lawyer. She thought he would be seated beside her, but she finally found him sitting next to Kriminalkommissar Becker on the prosecution’s side. Her stomach sank.
To her right was the judge’s bench, and to her left, the audience. Most people in the audience wore a uniform, except for one man with curly blond hair.
Her heart leaped as she sought his eyes. Q looked miserable. He was thin and weak; the fire in his curious blue eyes had dimmed. She sent him a smile and hoped he could see in her eyes how much she loved him.
The trial began. Erhard’s case was first. He’d confessed to being a tacit accomplice, hoping to receive a jail sentence.
After a pause of several minutes, where she leaned her shoulder against Erhard’s to give him some comfort, the trial continued with her case.
Herr Müller argued for her innocence. “Your honor, Frau Quedlin is a housewife and mother. She has given the Führer two beautiful sons. She didn’t understand what she was typing for her husband. Furthermore, she had no active role in the sabotage at the Loewe radio factory.”
Kriminalkommissar Becker argued the charges against her and stepped forward. “How does a woman, living in such harmony with her husband for seven years, not know he’s a traitor to the Reich? I tell you, she knew what she was typing and even encouraged his criminal sabotage activities.”
“I do not see any evidence to convince me she was not complicit with the espionage and sabotage taking place,” the judge agreed with Becker.
“This woman deserves to pay the ultimate price for her part in defying the Party, the Führer, and the Reich,” Kriminalkommissar Becker demanded.
Herr Müller argued the exact opposite fiercely: “Your honor, this woman doesn’t deserve to die for her unknowing actions. Even if you deem her guilty – and I believe she isn’t – of complicity, according to paragraph…”
Hilde didn’t understand most of the
legal gibberish, except that her actions were of such minor importance to the operation that she should be punished with a prison sentence of no more than two years.
Hope settled in her heart. She gathered all of her strength and energy around her, showing a mask of airiness to the cold and contemptuous Nazi supporters in the courtroom. On the inside, however, she was worried not only for her own life but also for the well-being of her two little boys.
When some official-looking person announced a recess and Hilde was taken outside, dread boiled in her belly as something became clear…
These Nazi devils were barrelling ahead to kill anyone who opposed them. Was it Erhard’s and her turn now?
Chapter 16
Q sat in the courtroom, well aware of the importance of this day for the fates of his family. Even the most die-hard Nazi supporters in the audience seemed to agree that while Erhard deserved the death sentence, Hilde should get away with a few years in prison.
The shy smile on her thinned face and the carefully braided hair in pretzel style surely had helped to win the sympathy of the judge, too.
When Q was told to get up and leave the courtroom to await the judge’s decision, his weak legs barely held his body weight, and he had to lean on the bench to stand. He moved slowly towards the exit, his stomach growling in protest.
In the prison hospital, he’d received only half rations. Half of the smaller prisoner rations, not the ones for civilians. After just two months in custody, his clothes bagged on him, and it was only thanks to the suspenders that he didn’t lose his pants.
He was afraid of what the judge would decide but chose to stick with hope. Erhard had been incredibly brave and steadfast during the trial – an example of courage in the face of terrible odds. Not once had his friend cried, whined, or begged. But simple courage and honesty weren’t traits honored by this regime.
And Hilde…if she weren't already the woman of his dreams, he would have fallen in love with her today. Even when Kriminalkommissar Becker had demanded capital punishment, she hadn’t even flinched.
The guard cuffed Q’s left hand to the bench in the waiting area and left. A few moments later, another guard showed up with Hilde in tow. He cuffed her to the same bench.
Q’s heart lurched. Suddenly, the room seemed to beam with sunlight.
“The judge will have lunch and render his verdict in one hour,” the guard said and disappeared.
Q looked at his beautiful wife and reached for her arm with his free hand. Her skin was so soft, but her eyes widened in horror. Q followed her glance down to the bulging scar on his wrist.
“What happened?” she whispered.
Q felt his face flush, but he met her eyes. “After my sentencing, I decided I would rather take my own life than allow these devils to take it from me. But I failed.”
“Oh, Liebling! What did they do to you?” Hilde asked, lifting his wrist, and kissing the scar softly.
“They moved me to the prison hospital, and I’ve been there ever since.” He didn’t tell her about being kept in solitary confinement or the fact that he’d been tied to his bed most of the time.
“I’ve missed you so much,” Hilde said with tears in her eyes.
“My love. I’ve thought endlessly about you and our boys.”
Hilde nodded, and her tears spilled over. “Will we ever see them again?”
Q lifted his hand and cupped her jaw, searching her eyes, wishing there was some way he could make this all go away for her. “They are being cared for, and that is what counts right now.”
Hilde nodded and laid her head on his shoulder, their hands intertwined. Q kissed her forehead, then sat with her, closing his eyes and soaking up this moment. This one hour might be all the time in this life he’d be allowed to spend with her, and he vowed to keep these memories deep inside his soul. For eternity.
“Remember when we first met?” he asked her, not really expecting an answer. “You were so beautiful and full of life. Your laughter at the moving pictures had me intrigued even before I’d seen you. I knew then that you were the woman for me.”
Hilde turned her head and looked up at him. “We’ve had a good life together, haven’t we?”
“Yes. And no matter what happens, know that I love you with all of my heart and soul.”
“I love you, too.” She stopped speaking and leaned as close to him as her handcuff allowed. The warmth of Hilde leaning against him seeped into his soul, mind, and body.
They stayed like that, remembering the good times. They laughed, giggled, and cried. They packed their entire life together into this time.
She was his soulmate and would always be. In this life or the next.
Far too soon, the guards returned and took them back into the courtroom for the proclamation of the sentences.
The judge entered the courtroom and instructed Erhard to stand. The tension was palpable, and Q’s neck hair stood on end.
“Doctor Erhard Tohmfor, it is the ruling of this court that you are found guilty on all counts and are hereby sentenced to death by execution.”
The audience applauded. Erhard’s face showed the shock for a short moment before he gathered his composure and stared defiantly at the judge.
Q sent his friend a short nod in acknowledgment of his courage.
“Hildegard Quedlin, stand.”
Hilde squared her shoulders and stood erect and tall, despite the fact that she must be scared to death.
Q wished with everything in him that he could be there to hold her hand in this moment. He closed his eyes, listening for the words that would spare her life.
“Frau Quedlin, I have looked at the evidence that has been presented to this court. I find it incredible that a woman so in love with her husband would not be aware of his subversive activities. I, therefore, find you guilty of cognizance of high treason and sentence you to death by execution.”
Q’s eyes popped open. Sentenced to death? Not prison? God, no! That cannot be true.
But it was. Hilde’s gasp of dismay could be heard among the murmurs in the audience. Apart from the gasp, she stood upright and unwavering, defying everything the judge stood for.
Judging by the puzzled then smug look crossing Kriminalkommissar Becker’s face, not even the Gestapo had expected such a harsh verdict.
The judge slammed his gavel down on the bench and left the courtroom.
Q’s mind remained in a fog as he tried to take in what had just happened. He barely noticed the guard leading him to the waiting vehicle outside, murmuring something that sounded like Sorry.
When Q’s eyes had become accustomed to the darkness inside, he couldn’t believe what he saw. Hilde.
Q looked at the prison guards and silently thanked them for their compassion. There seemed to be good hearts buried beneath their harsh appearances. The door was bolted from the outside. He and Hilde were alone.
He swept her into his arms. He touched her beautiful face, scrutinized it, trying to memorize every single line, the sweetness, her bright blue eyes, her red and soft lips.
He kissed those lips. Careful at first, but soon, red-hot fire passed between them. They both knew this would be their last kiss. They wrapped their arms around each other and hungrily devoured the other’s mouth.
When they had to come up for air, they whispered words of love, but also cautioned each other to be strong.
He locked eyes with Hilde and felt the fire in his body ignite – the fire that had been burning between them from the first moment he saw her and that had never ceased to burn during all those years. Not even now, when they both were sentenced to death.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“I’m so sorry, darling.” Q kissed her neck, intent on memorizing the feel of his wife in his arms.
“It wasn’t your fault. Don’t you ever blame yourself for this awfulness.” She looked at him, sad, but steadfast in her conviction.
A rock fell from his shoulders. Not even after her harsh sentence did she
blame him. Much too soon the door of the truck was opened, and one of the guards peeked inside. “We have to leave.”
Q nodded and said to Hilde one last time, “I love you.” Then he was hurried away and could only wave to the disappearing car.
Chapter 17
For days after the trial, Hilde refused to talk to anyone. Her cellmate, the Polish woman, had been transferred to some other place, and she was alone in her cell.
The other women on her level had soon decided to let Hilde grieve and didn’t insist on making conversation. Everyone understood that a death sentence was hard to swallow.
On the third day, the Blonde Angel appeared with a pretty young woman and introduced her as Hilde’s new cellmate Margit Staufer.
Hilde did her best to ignore the woman – although girl would be more appropriate. She couldn’t be much older than eighteen. But seeing the newcomer so lost and sad tugged at her motherly feelings, and she couldn’t keep to herself any longer.
“I apologize for my earlier rudeness. I’m Hilde. Welcome to this humble place.” She made a gesture taking in the entire cell.
For a short moment, the girl’s face lit up. “Thank you. I’m Margit.”
“You look so young,” Hilde said, wondering what she could have done to end up here.
“I turned nineteen three months ago.” Margit bit her fingernails and looked hesitantly at Hilde. “How long have you been here?”
“I was arrested two months ago.”
Margit’s eyes widened. “That long?”
Hilde nodded, not mentioning her death sentence. The two women talked about their lives, and soon became friends.
Two days later, Margit received a huge package.
Hilde watched as Margit opened the large box and unpacked more food than Hilde had seen in a long time. Her stomach rumbled at the smell of smoked ham. The minuscule prison rations were enough not to starve, but they never left her sated.
Margit generously shared the food with Hilde and waved away her weak protest.
“If I want more, my family will send me more. Please eat.”
Unwavering: Love and Resistance in WW2 Germany Page 7