by Dana Kelly
“I will not voluntarily share that information with you,” said the female.
Torsha rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever.” She sank back into the couch. “Wake me up when it’s time to go.”
◆◆◆
Near midnight, the female denshi-tengu processed an encrypted communication. After conferring with Romald, she nudged Torsha awake. “It’s time,” she whispered, and she wore a friendly smile.
“Already?” asked Torsha, and she yawned luxuriously.
Unhurriedly, Torsha gathered her things. “Thanks for your hospitality, and thanks for playing Aurora, I guess. See you around.”
She hugged the female and followed Romald outside to the stairwell. Quickly and quietly, he led Torsha down to street level, to the loading ramp of a white panel sky van. After she settled in, he sealed the passenger compartment and took his leave.
The sky van lifted off, and Torsha slept all the way to Klettastrond’s coast.
She stirred as the vehicle descended beyond the waterfall, past a wall of aspens to an island of stone surrounded by a colorful lake. When the vessel touched down on a landing tower adjacent to a certain cavern, Torsha finally woke up. She unbuckled her restraints as someone from the flight crew opened the back gate and lowered the ramp, letting in a cool breeze and the afternoon sunlight.
“Right this way,” he said, and he offered his hand to help her down.
“I got it,” said Torsha, and she descended, setting foot upon a circular tarmac. She stumbled as Iona threw her arms around her and hugged her tight. “Hi, Mom,” said Torsha, and she smiled.
“My sweet girl,” said Iona, and she beamed as she pulled away. “I’m so glad you made it! How was the flight?”
Torsha shrugged as Iona led her toward an industrial lift, where Martin, Eridani, Thuraya, and two denshi-tengus waited. “Okay, I guess. I slept through most of it. I think I recognize the denshies, but who’s that?”
“That’s Thuraya Mir,” said Iona. “Eridani’s girlfriend. I should hope you recognize the denshies, because they’re the ones you and Mike used to gaslight us.” She narrowed her gaze, though only briefly. “After Izel told us what was going on, Martin retained their services indefinitely.”
“Sorry about that,” said Torsha. “We couldn’t think of any other way to help Orin.”
“You know, it’s okay to tell Mike no sometimes,” said Iona.
Torsha hugged Iona sidelong. “I did. That’s why I’m here.”
They joined the others, boarded the lift, and made their way down to the ground.
Chapter 18
Binary States
Overhead vents hummed quietly, blowing against April’s hair as she stood beside her old bridge station. Next to her, Casey sat back in her chair, wringing her hands. Both stared fixedly at the scintillating disk seated dead-center in the viewscreen. Within its massive frame, the nightmare gateway shifted constantly between shades of red and purple.
“Tell me we’ll be safe,” whispered Casey.
“We should be,” said April.
Casey breathed out. “Can you do any better than ‘should be?’”
“I don’t foresee any complications.” April faced her cousin. “Orin and I spent twelve hours on Deck 5, and every reading held steady, despite all the noise.”
“We should put him in the airlock, just in case we need to jettison him,” said Casey.
“Be reasonable,” said April.
“I am,” said Casey.
“Orin’s our passenger now, not our ward,” said Edison. “Locking him in the airlock staging compartment constitutes reckless endangerment, and if you jettison him for any reason at all, that counts as murder.”
Casey groaned into her hands. “I know, I just…”
“We’re all in this with you, Captain,” said Krané. “If catastrophe awaits us beyond the gateway, we will all face it together.”
“That’s not helping,” said Casey.
“If something were going to happen, it’s extremely likely it would’ve happened while we were in the presence of the S-Ring,” said April.
“Yeah, I know. I guess.” Casey chewed on the inside of her cheek. “What’s the plan for the transition?”
“Orin’s already secure in the cargo hangar, and I’ll be in my quarters. I’ll remain there for the duration of the trip, but I can’t tell you what Orin will do. We have no idea how his nightmare body will manifest.”
Casey forced a steady breath. “What about the ranch-hand?”
“I deactivated it.” April squeezed Casey’s shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t worry. I’m confident that everything’s going to be fine.”
The vents thrummed overhead.
“We’ll find out in an hour,” said Casey.
“That’s true,” said April. “All right everyone, it’s about time I headed over to my quarters. I’ll see you in a couple weeks.”
“Until then,” said Cassey.
“See you on the other side,” said Shulana, engrossed in the missives she exchanged with the gateway crew. “Thanks for the coffee the other night. I could not figure out how to work that thing.”
April smiled politely. “It was no trouble at all.”
“See ya for chow,” said Cajun.
“Please just leave it at the door,” said April.
He grinned. “And give it a sound knock. I know the drill.”
“Enjoy your personal time,” said Krané. He lifted each of his facial tentacles in sequence.
Edison looked up from the scanning console. “I hope one day you’ll be able to accept yourself completely and walk unashamed in your binary state.”
“Maybe one day,” said April, and her cheeks reddened slightly.
“Farewell. Don’t hesitate to comm me if you need to talk,” said Edison.
“Thanks, Edison.” She ascended the ramp and exited the bridge.
◆◆◆
April’s datapad displayed a countdown: 24 minutes and 17 seconds… 16 seconds… 15 seconds…
Exhaling audibly, she plopped down on her bed and sat with her hands clasped between her knees. She glanced at the bulkhead near the door and crossed over to the ship’s communication interface. She entered the cargo hangar’s three-digit extension and pressed a small white button. “Hey, Orin. Are you there?”
After a moment, he answered. “Hey, April.” Faint static filled the space between words.
“How are you?” she asked.
He laughed awkwardly. “Scared. You?”
“I’m fine,” said April.
“I wish I had your peace of mind,” said Orin.
“You’ll get there,” she said.
“I hope so,” said Orin. “The only time I’ve ever been in the nightmare is when my mom was pregnant with me, when we were moving from Earth to Rhyon. Obviously, I don’t remember any of it.”
“Why in heaven’s name did she do that? It’s a miracle you survived, let alone were born with all your limbs in the usual places,” said April. “Expecting mothers are not supposed to be anywhere close to the nightmare!”
“She didn’t know she was pregnant,” said Orin. “According to my parents, she was only three weeks along at the time, and the pre-screening showed up negative for pregnancy. I can’t blame her. She did everything right.”
“You’re extremely lucky,” said April. “Most newborns who survive the transit aren’t nearly as fortunate. I’ve seen pictures of infants with tentacles where their arms and legs should be. One little girl had telescoping eyestalks, and this adorable baby boy had a stinger growing out if his solar plexus.”
Orin took a deep breath. “I could still have any of those things. Or all of them. God only knows what’s going to happen to me after we cross through. What does the rest of the crew look like in the nightmare?”
“They don’t look any different,” said April. “Only binaries get nightmare bodies.”
“Ah, well I bet mine’s an actual nightmare,” said Orin.
“
You have no control over what it will look like,” said April. “Try not to worry about it.”
“What if Casey’s right? What if I’m a monster?” asked Orin.
“You’re not a monster,” said April. “No matter what form you take.”
He smiled and relaxed a bit. “Thank you for saying so. I can hardly wait to see what your nightmare body looks like.”
She laughed dryly. “You won’t be missing anything. I’m hideous.”
“Well, if my form is safe to move around with, I can stop by your quarters after the transition and show you what I look like,” said Orin.
“I’ll be able to see the hangar cameras from here,” said April. “Don’t worry. I’ll bug you on the coms the whole time we’re in there. I wouldn’t want to get lonely, after all.”
“Right.” Orin cleared his throat. “Talk to you soon, April. I guess I’ll see you in two—”
“Did I ever show you my symphonica playlist?” April interrupted.
“I don’t think so,” he said.
“Give me a minute. I think you might like this.” She grabbed her datapad, opened the player, and loaded her symphonica list. Orchestral music filled her quarters, and the string of white Christmas lights twinkled with the rhythm. She pressed and held down the communicator’s button.
Two decks below in the cargo hangar, Orin leaned against the bulkhead. Through the com’s tiny speaker, an undercurrent of dance beats buoyed thundering kettledrums, flowing alongside and under violins and cellos. Rhythmic notes danced around him, and when he closed his eyes, the symphony filled his mind.
◆◆◆
Upon Watchtower’s bridge, the viewscreen switched off. Every viewport everywhere on the starship slowly shuttered. On Deck 5, the S-Ring awoke, oscillating the outer hull. Instant by instant, the eldritch machine adapted vibrational frequencies to meet the maelstrom of the infinite multiverse.
On every deck, silence hung in the air.
Glowing tendrils of red and purple snaked forth from the nightmare gate, drawing in the starship. Suddenly and from all directions, great force struck the outer hull. Cajun jumped. He quickly found his nerve, while the rest of the bridge crew held steady. As the starship slipped through the nightmare gate, a sudden and profound sense of desperate solitude washed over her passengers and crew.
At the helm, Krané studied a grid-mapped tunnel as it slowly twisted and undulated. Dozens of glowing motes drifted within, each labeled with navigational data. With one motion, he dragged half of them away. Over the next several minutes, he carefully stacked the remaining nodes atop one another in specific sequence.
Blinking slowly, saffron clouds bloomed in the depths of his barn red eyes, and his facial tentacles rippled in unison. His voice sounded cheerful through the vocoder. “Our course is set. We should reach the Taranis Arms and Outfitters 11B APT Space Transition Gate in twelve days, seventeen hours, Galactic Standard.” He activated the thrusters.
“Got a full row o’ green lights, O Capitaine, mon Capitaine,” said Cajun.
Casey breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God.”
Sturmhardt regarded Cajun frankly. “You know zee captain in zat poem is dead, ja?”
“That so! I suppose I better find somethin’ else quote-worthy,” said Cajun.
“Probably a good idea,” said Shulana.
As Watchtower raced along, her directional thrusters fired, constantly adjusting pitch and yaw to remain within the passageway. Every color crashed around her, and millions more beyond comprehension. Oceans of methane exploded and collapsed alongside an endlessly faceted diamond that captured every moment of a woman’s life on a distant world. Suddenly, it burst into countless shards that swirled around the starship. A hundred ghostly bramble-vines reached for the diamond fragments, only to be chased off by a flock of titanic, six-winged, sun-bright eagles.
A thousand planets slammed against the passageway’s membrane from every angle, only to be as quickly devoured by crimson lightning and violet maws riddled with fangs the size of moons. Light and shadow coursed throughout, a fractal lattice of rivers and tributaries linking everything that lived. Beyond them loomed ancient carcasses as large as suns, and beyond the carcasses, the unfathomable darkness of the dead universes.
◆◆◆
Within the cargo hangar, Orin opened his eyes. The deck appeared as ever it had. He took stock of each crate, every smudge on the hardware and tools, every spatter of dried paint, and every speck of rubber left behind by every footstep ever. He noted each curled steel shaving, the dust, the mites, and every detail of everything around him.
Finding his focus, he placed his hands upon the bulkhead. Suns, comets, and planets drifted within his fingers, his arms, and his legs. A soft, azure glow outlined his starry form. Nebulae pumped through him like blood, driven by a flashing pulsar deep within his chest. No clothing hung upon his frame; the transition had claimed his primary body and everything he wore in that moment.
He decided to breathe, but no air passed in or out of him. Yet, his body longed for the movement of breath, and so his chest rose and fell. It felt comfortable to do it. He blinked, and he stretched. Though neither action provided physical relief, he nonetheless delighted in the familiar motions. I am Orinoco, he thought as stars flashed along his waist.
Stale air buffeted him from the overhead vents. The outer hull hummed inaudibly. Electricity danced as it waited for machinery to come alive. Cold lamps buzzed and bathed him from above. Music echoed throughout the hangar, and he traced it to its source—the ship’s communication interface.
April, he thought, and he suddenly appeared in her chambers.
Startled, she stumbled away from the bulkhead and dropped her datapad. “Orin, is that you?”
“Yes, it’s me,” he answered.
“How did you get in here?”
“I thought of you, and then… I don’t know, I just… appeared,” said Orin.
“I didn’t want you to see me like this.” April stood a full head taller than she did in her primary state. Her skin looked translucent, her limbs joined together by resplendent internal filaments, and she softly glowed. Her eyes lingered below a velvety crown of elegantly swaying tendrils. “I’m hideous.”
“Not to me,” said Orin. “You remind me of the haunting beauty of the deep, deep ocean. April, you’re gorgeous like this.”
She lowered her head and shied away. “Orin, please don’t make fun of me.”
“I would never,” he said.
“I need you to stop looking at me,” said April. “Please.”
“My eyes are closed,” he said, and he extended his hand.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“I’ve never been in your room before, so I’ll need you to guide me around,” he said.
April sighed. She took his hand and pulled him along. “Come on. The door’s over this way.”
A supernova exploded under his eyelids. Its shock wave reached his lips just as he smiled. “You’re kicking me out? But the music sounds so much better in here.”
“Orin, you can’t stay.” Tears welled in her eyes. “You’ve seen me. To be honest, I don’t know how you can even stand to be around me.”
“That’s like asking me if I could stand to be around when the moon rises over the sea, or if I could stand to be around for the sunrise.” He smiled wistfully. “Yes, April, I can definitely stand to be around you.”
She released his hand and wiped at her nose. Hurrying to the bathroom, she grabbed a terrycloth robe from a steel hook and secured it tightly around her. “All right, you… you can look.”
“Thank you,” said Orin, and he opened his eyes. “Will you dance with me?”
April laughed. “I don’t think so. I’m rubbish at dancing! Pure rubbish.”
Stars twinkled in his eyes. “That’s okay. I can’t dance, either.”
“That’s hardly a compelling argument.” She gazed upon him awhile. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Hesitantly,
she took his hand. Slowly they danced, and they drifted close.
In time, the symphony faded away, and they parted. “You’d best check in with Casey,” said April. “She’ll be losing her mind by now. Come to think of it, I’m surprised she hasn’t called me yet.”
“I never left the hangar,” said Orin. “I’m just also here, with you.”
“You are?” she whispered, and he nodded. “How?”
“I don’t know, but I think Mike’s starting to worry,” said Orin. “You have my focus, so my conversation with him has been a bit distracted.”
She leaned into his chest and listened to the music of the cosmos contained within him. “You’d better get back, then.”
“I guess I’d better.” He smiled sweetly, and he vanished.
Stumbling slightly, April steadied herself. With a dreamy smile, she shed her bathrobe, eased down onto her bed, and she stretched out. Her tendrils and filaments pulsed and swayed prismatically.
◆◆◆
Within the cargo hangar, Orin brought his attention to bear on Casey as she led Edison, Malmoradan, Shona, Sturmhardt, and Misaki down the stairs. He studied Casey as she smiled and laughed with her friends and crewmates. Something felt off about her. It almost feels like she has a nightmare body, but she doesn’t look any different from her primary form, thought Orin. I’ll have to ask her about that.
“Welcome back,” said Mike. He sat on a nearby workbench. “You had me a little worried there.”
“Sorry. I was somewhere else,” said Orin.
“Do you mean that literally or figuratively?” asked Mike.
“Literally,” said Orin. “I thought of April, and I was simultaneously here and in her room with her.”
“That’s extraordinary. Are you limited by distance?”
“I don’t know, but I’m not about to risk finding out here in the nightmare,” said Orin.
Involuntarily, Orin thought of Eridani and his parents. Instantly, he stood within the dining hall of Martin’s Cavern Lake mansion. Glass walls and wooden floors flowed around the natural stones and contours of the cave into which the residence was built. Red and green string lights twinkled alongside streamers of plastic icicles, over bunches of holly, foam candy canes, and festive candles.