by Janelle Peel
A cooling balm settled across my skin as Asena healed the injury. Give him time, Nat. He’s lost so much.
I snarked, And I haven’t?
Brushing her fur against my ribs, she flicked her glossy ears in my mind’s eye. You’ve sacrificed much, but the loss of a child is a burden no parent should ever bear. Try to be patient, Nat.
Shrugging off her words, I stormed to my suite.
Kane met me at the threshold. Reading the anger and self-pity written across my face, he pulled me into a hug. “Shh. He’ll come around.”
Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes. Refusing to cry, I buried the emotions. “It doesn’t matter. We’ve got work to do.”
Gazardiel
Lowering to my rear in the courtyard, I buried my toes beneath the carpet of grass.
Was I making the right decision? Half of my soul yearned to return home, yet the other was equally invested in this world. God’s forgiveness meant everything to me, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of loneliness. Without a Mate, it was just too difficult to return to Heaven.
A small grin lifted my lips.
Besides, Skye needed training. If I was perfectly honest with myself, I found him incredibly attractive.
The slap of feet pulled me from my thoughts as Lila made her way around the pool.
She was the other reason I wanted to stay.
Moving to a concrete bench, she fidgeted with the hem of her teal tank top. “Have you made a decision? He says it’s time.”
Meeting her swirling gaze, I took a deep breath. “I think so. Could you answer something for me?”
Crossing her ankles, she tipped her chin. “Sure. Ask away.”
Standing, I made my way to her side. “Do you think He will be angry if I stay?”
Her brow furrowed. “Why would you think that?”
Wrinkling my nose, I struggled for the right words. “Well, I took away your free will and lost my wings as a result. It all turned out in the end, but I don’t want to go back.” Pausing, I hesitated. “I guess my real question is whether or not you forgive me.”
Lifting her head, she looked up at the clear blue sky. “I understand what you did, Gaz. It was pretty messed up but you had good intentions.”
Flapping drew our attention to a raven as it settled on a nearby palm frond. Ruffling its glossy feathers, its sharp beak opened. “Hello? Is anyone out there?”
We both froze at the strange female voice coming from the bird’s beak. “Hand me the paper. No, not that one. Shh, it’s recording. Good God, I’ll do it myself.” Abashed, she continued, “Sorry about that. We’re a small mixed group and have survived in a fallout shelter. This raven has our exact location. If you’re hearing this and have a Mage on hand to reply, we need your help.”
As the message repeated, Lila smiled. “I do forgive you. If you want to stay, that’s fine with me. Besides, it looks like we’re going to need your help.”
Relieved, I sank to my knees. “You’ve no idea what this means to me, Lila. Thank you. Please tell Him I will remain on Earth.”
Touching my shoulder, gold and silver light lit her arm as her tone deepened with His will, “Gazardiel. This world is lucky to have your guidance. Your choice cannot be undone. This is the last time my Messiah will be able to send you home.”
Excitement fluttered through my stomach. “I understand, Father.”
Tightening her grip, a terrible pain pierced my back. Doubling over in agony, I almost missed His last words. “You have my blessing, Gazardiel. Live well, my Daughter.”
The gold slowly bled from her skin as the ache became more bearable. Panting, I rolled my shoulders at the additional weight. He’d given me back my wings!
Lila frowned. “He’s gone.”
Righting myself, I bid the fluffy appendages to hide themselves. Taking her hand, I squeezed once in sympathy. “Are you okay?”
With a peaceful expression, she nodded. “Yes. It’s just… quiet.”
The raven screeched again. “Hello?”
She chuckled. “Impatient little shit.”
I laughed.
Drumming her fingers on her thigh, she stood. “Well, I’ll need to let Mom know. Without the ability to see glimpses of the future, we have our work cut out for us.”
Rowe
A pair of brown eyes met mine from above a frown of confusion.
Pretending nonchalance, I yawned. “You’re awake. Are you in any pain?”
Blinking, Alec seemed to take inventory of his body. “My ribs are sore, but that’s about it. What happened?”
Tipping my chin to his sprawled position on my bed, I tucked my legs under my rear. “You lacerated your liver, shattered eight ribs, punctured one lung and bruised your heart. Currently, you’re in my room.”
His brow furrowed. “The battle?”
Gripping the armrest, I answered, “Fought and won. You collapsed before the end. Bex took Lucian back to Hell. Her willingness to sacrifice herself saved us all. She also died.”
He gasped.
“It’s cool though. The powers that be brought her back.”
“How?”
I snorted. “Magic of course. And you got hurt because you got in the way of a barbed tail that was meant for me.”
Swallowing, he shook his head. “The Angels?”
“Gone after they eradicated the remainder of Lucian’s hordes.” Shifting to the edge of the chair, a note of curiosity entered my voice. “Why did you do it? You shouldn’t have even been there, Alec. You knew you were vulnerable to Demon toxin because you didn’t swear fealty. In fact, you’re damned lucky to be alive. It took Lila over two hours to heal you.”
Rolling his eyes to the ceiling, he whispered, “I couldn’t help it. Inari refused to let you go without us.”
My mind turned over his words. Right. His Fox. Not the man. Fucking peachy. Anger came with the revelation. I’d thought… No. I had hoped he’d finally come to terms that there was no escaping what we were. Now, it seemed we were just unwillingly tossed together. He didn’t want us.
Standing, I began folding my blanket in agitated snaps. “Well, tell Inari I said thank you. I’ll send Jules in with a platter of food. You’re both probably starving by now.”
Biting his lip, he sat up. The grey comforter shifted to his waist with the motion.
Greedily, my Fox peeked out through our shared vision. The white bandage shone in stark relief against his purple and yellow bruises. Skipping over his toned pecs, I forced our gaze away.
Mate, she whimpered.
He’d proven himself in her eyes when he’d protected us. As a Fennec, we were the smallest form of Fox. There was no chance we’d have survived if he hadn’t intervened.
Rigidly, I moved to the door. I couldn’t stay here. “If you could let Julian know when you’ll be returning to your suite, I would appreciate it.”
“Rowe?”
Gritting my teeth, I stopped.
“Why did you stay with me?”
Flipping through every answer I could give, I replied with a partial truth. “Because you have no one else.” Instantly, I regretted the words. He’d just saved my life and I was being an asshole. Tempering my tone, I added, “I’m sorry, that was mean. This whole thing has just been exhausting. I’ll let you get some rest.”
“Don’t go.”
Gripping the handle, hope fluttered through my stomach.
“You’ve nothing to be sorry for. While I’ve been wallowing in my own self-pity, you’ve shown kindness and understanding. In that moment my life became absolutely clear. This world isn’t worth living in without you. You shine so brightly, Rowe. I threw us into the path of that tail. Me, not Inari.” He paused. “I couldn’t let our Mate go.”
Tears tracked salty streams down my cheeks. Hoarsely, I whispered, “Mate?”
Suddenly, he was there wrapping his arms around me. “I’ve been so stupid, Rowe.”
Turning inside his embrace, I buried my nose into his chest.
&
nbsp; He sucked in a sharp breath.
“Shit! Sorry, Alec.” Pulling back, I met his gaze.
Chuckling, he lifted my chin. “I’ll bear any amount of pain for you. I love you.” He hesitated. “Do you accept us?”
Standing on my tiptoes, I kissed him.
Mine…
Nat
I snagged Skye’s wrist as we readied our gear to head out and tipped my chin to the rec room.
It was time we discussed his role in the death of my sister.
Following my steps, he kept his mismatched gaze on the floor.
Moving behind the bar, I selected two rocks glasses and a bottle of aged whiskey. “Why did you choose to stay behind when you could have gone to Heaven with Michael?”
His shoulders drooped. “Because this is my home, Nat.”
Pouring, I mused at his ability to hide his wings. They were gorgeous, but also incredibly distracting. “You make a good point, but are you sure? It’s not because you killed Anna? Is it some attempt to atone for your actions?”
Softly, he answered, “I would take it back if I could.”
Sliding his cup toward him, I braced my palms on the polished oak. “There is nothing to take back, Skye. I’ve thought about this long and hard. You didn’t have a choice. If Lucian had taken Bex instead, he would have forced her to do the same.”
He sighed. “It’s still my fault. I’m half Angel. I should have been stronger.”
Tossing back my drink, I savored the burn. “We all have our crosses to bear, Skye. And this is not yours. If you need forgiveness, you’ll never get it from me.”
Sucking in a gasp, his gaze snapped to mine.
I smiled. “I have none to give because you didn’t kill her, that mother fucker did.”
Exasperated, he gripped his glass. “You can’t honestly believe that.”
Asena rolled over in my mind, Show him, Nat. He needs you.
Padding around to his side, I peeled his fingers from the cup. Gently, I lifted his chin. His strange gaze usually disturbed me, but the shimmering tears trembling on the edges of his lashes only made him look vulnerable. Placing my arms around his shoulders, I gave him a hug. “This isn’t your fault, Brother. I’m happy you stayed with us. We’re your family and nothing will ever change that.”
Hesitantly, he accepted my embrace. “I’m so very sorry, Nat.”
Rolling my eyes, I tugged on his ponytail. “Just shut up already. And for God’s sake, cut this hideous thing.”
Leaning back, he chuckled. “You do it.”
I laughed. “You don’t mean that, trust me. I once tried to cut Kane’s. It didn’t end well.”
A knock on the wall halted our happy moment.
Skye took one look at Nathan and excused himself.
Dressed in a borrowed pair of jeans and a loose-fitting polo, my father strode into the room.
Knowing I’d need more alcohol, I grabbed the whiskey as he settled himself on a stool.
Taking the glass Skye left behind, he lifted the rim to his lips. “I wanted to see you before you left.”
Anxiety and anger warred in equal proportions inside my gut. Picking at the label glued to the bottle, I nodded. “Okay.”
Glowering at the bar, his voice took on a monotone. “When I met her, I had no idea what she was. I simply thought she was a dream come to life. It wasn’t until she showed up on my doorstep with you that I realized what had happened. I’d never seen that kind of power. She told me you were mine, and that I had to take care of you until she could return. I was young, Nat. All it took was one demonstration of her magic and I agreed to keep you. It wasn’t out of love or a sense of fatherly duty, it was fear. Then she told me of her plan. After she’d gone, I researched everything I could to do to keep you hidden. Over those first few weeks, my fear fled. You were so little and such a good baby, it was then that I fell in love with you. Twelve years passed in the blink of an eye. We moved often and I became lax. Then, she appeared inside my dreams. I knew it was no longer safe to keep you with me. She was able to find me wherever I went. So, I did the only thing I could. I found a family to adopt you in Los Angeles. Stripping you of your memories and power was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” He paused, “The fire came out of nowhere. Your adoptive family perished, and you were assumed dead.”
Shocked by the overload of information, I could barely breathe let alone form a response.
“If I’d known you were alive I would have come for you, Natalie. I mourned you for eight years before I met Anna’s mother. With her help, I was able to get past my own self-hatred. Eventually, we married. Anna was born a year before the Sundering.” His voice caught, “And now they’re both gone. I’m so sorry, Nat. I don’t mean to be so distant.””
The block of ice encasing my heart melted. He was just as lost as I was. Reaching out, I took his hand. “Shh. You still have me.”
His bloodshot green gaze met mine as his fingers tightened. “And I’ll never let you go again.”
Lila
“Mom?”
Leafing through a stack of papers scattered on the boardroom table, she nodded. “Yes?”
Shifting from foot to foot in excitement, I blurted, “Another spelled raven arrived.”
Her wide eyes snapped to mine. “That makes six. What does this one say?”
Grinning, I answered, “A mixed group are currently surviving in a fallout shelter in Texas. I guess they’ve been sending every kind of bird they could get their hands on out in random searches for survivors. They want to know what to do next.”
Tapping her chin, she snatched a page from her ever-growing pile. “Take this to Daisy. She’ll show you how to send it back.”
Taking it from her fingers, I skimmed the text.
Human, Vampire, Shifter, Fae, Mage, Angel; none of it matters. The world has changed. We are currently thriving in what was previously known as San Diego, California. Now it is called Tabula Rasa. All are welcome here.
Soon, a new government will be chosen. If you wish to have your voice heard, please respond. But, take note that every faction will now be considered equal. This is nonnegotiable. No longer will we be a people divided. It took the combined strength of us all to defeat Hell.
A new era has risen from the ashes of death and destruction.
May the God and Goddess bless you.
Tapping the page, she worried at her lower lip. “You think it’s too much?”
Lifting a brow, I shook my head. “No, but what does Tabula Rasa mean?”
Her cheeks pinked. “It’s a Latin phrase. Loosely translated it means blank slate.”
A fresh start. I beamed. “I think it’s perfect.”
Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this series as much I have enjoyed writing it, please leave a review on Amazon! https://www.amazon.com/Janelle-Peel/e/B074K3FM8C.
To be notified when Janelle Peel’s next book is released, follow her online at https://m.facebook.com/clutchmistress/.
Or, sign up here to become a member of the Clutch and receive her newsletter! http://eepurl.com/cYZlBf
Glossary
The Clutch- Group of Vampires and Shifters
Sora- Mistress of the SoCal Cutch, Mate to Blaze. Mage, Dhampir, Hybrid, Chosen
Blaze- Vampire, Master of the SoCal Clutch
Nat- Mate to Kane. Mage, Wolf Shifter, Earth Elemental, Fae
Bex- Wolf Shifter, Water Elemental, Fae
Jackson- Brother of Blaze, second in command, Vampire
Viv- Mate to Jackson, Vampire
Allie- Mate to von, Vampire
Von- Tacker, Vampire
Sasha- Vampire
Julian- Head of the House for the Clutch
Mason- Lead Protector for the Clutch
Mel- Wolf, Pack Alpha
Jonas- Bear, Beta to Mel
Rowe- Fox, Omega to Mel
Kane- Wolf Shifter, Pack Alpha
Jet- Wolf, Beta to Kane
Justine- Mage
Kai- Fae, Fire Elemen
tal
Skye- Fae, Air Elemental
Syn- Felidae, Panther
Gazardiel- Angel who stole Lila.
Lucian- Ruler of Hell.
Rimmon- Second in command to Lucian. Undercover for Heaven. Also known as Michael.
Seattle Stronghold
Daisy- Mage, coleader of the Seattle Stronghold
Cooper- Mage, coleader of the Seattle Stronghold
Mila- Apprentice Mage to Daisy
Terms-
The Sundering- When Hell broke through to Earth.
Menagerie- Group of humans within the Clutch who takes care of the day to day things.
Retainer- Blood servant on rotation who is paid for their services, also a part of the Menagerie.
Protector- Humans who regularly drink the blood donated from Vampires, giving them enhanced physical attributes and longer life spans.
Pack- A mix of every Shifter.
Felidae- A mix of feline Shifters.