by G. A. Hauser
sweatpants and T-shirt and sat on the sofa with his laptop. When
he opened up the work files he could tell nothing had been done
since he left work at five. He had a slight panic attack since
Fabian had been so diligent about doing it every night this week.
He began to get upset, thinking Fabian may have been too drunk
to drive.
He picked his cell phone up off the side table and was about
to call him when he stopped himself. Would it seem too eager?
Too needy? Of course Fabian was okay. Maybe he just was busy
doing something else.
Braxton put the phone down and began answering emails
from his clients. He wasn’t upset that the work wasn’t done.
Fabian was certainly not obligated to work late nights.
A wash of worry kept hitting Braxton. He tried to let it go but
it was becoming a gnawing sensation. One he had all the time. A
sensation that things were not right, and those uncomfortable
waves usually kept him up at night.
He put the laptop aside and paced, entering his kitchen and
back to the living room. Returning to the kitchen he opened a
cabinet looking at the vodka bottle.
He closed the cabinet and leaned both hands on the counter,
calming down. “He’s fine. He didn’t crash.”
“Fuck!” Braxton headed to where he left his phone and
picked it up, texting Fabian. ‘ u get home ok? ’
He waited for a reply. None came.
Dreading his phone wasn’t working, he checked it curiously.
It appeared fine and looked as if messages would go out and
come in. He sat with the computer and sent Fabian an instant
message. ‘ hey, did you get home? ’
Nothing came back.
Braxton tried not to freak out, then another thought occurred
to him. Maybe he was being ignored. Maybe Fabian was home,
fine, and not acknowledging his messages on purpose.
He sent Brianna an instant message. ‘ did this go through to
you? ’
She replied, ‘ yup. how was drinks? ’
‘ Dunno. he’s ignoring me now. I want to make sure he got
home ok. Can you text him?’
‘ What did ya do, ya dildo? ’
‘ just text him! ’
Braxton waited and felt even tenser. Carrying his phone, he
walked back to the kitchen and took the vodka bottle out of the
cabinet but didn’t do anything with it.
Brianna sent him a message. ‘ got nothing. I’m gonna call.’
“Fuck!” Braxton looked up Fabian’s home address in his
phone and wondered if he should call the hospitals or police.
A second later Brianna sent Braxton another text. ‘ voicemail. ’
He called Brianna, an anxious mess.
“Braxton?”
“He said he wasn’t drunk!”
“Oh no. How much did you guys have?”
“We had a few but it was nearly four hours with food. He
said he was okay to drive!”
“Hang on. I have another number for him. I think he has a
home landline. Will you hang on before you go ballistic?”
“Call me right back.” He hung up and stared at the bottle. If
anything happened to Fabian he’d blame himself.
He couldn’t drink the fucking vodka because if he had to go
search for Fabian he had to drive.
As the time ticked by Braxton thought he would lose his
mind. His ringtone sounded and he put his phone right to his ear.
“What?”
“He’s fine. He just said he was tired and thanked you for
asking about him.”
Braxton sank against the kitchen counter he was so relieved.
“Okay. Thanks.”
“What happened between you two? He sounded like shit.”
“Nothing. See you in the morning.” He disconnected the line
and put his phone down, staring at the vodka. He replaced it into
the cabinet. Once again he sat with his laptop, immersing himself
in work, forgetting life outside it, and knowing he could not win.
Chapter 12
Fabian arrived at the office and immediately noticed Brianna’s
apprehensive smile.
“TGIF,” she said, handing him his latte.
“Yeah. Thank fuck.” He headed to his office and set the
coffee down. As he did he could hear Brianna walking in behind
him.
“Fabian, don’t be so hard on him. He was near hysteria last
night when he thought you didn’t get home.”
Fabian opened his suit jacket button, straightened his tie, and
looked at her. “That’s nice of him.” He sat at his desk and sipped
the coffee, booting up the computer.
“Did you guys fight?”
“No. Worse.”
“Oh?”
“We fucked.”
“And?”
“Never mind. He got what he wanted.” Fabian picked up the
phone and began working on the list of calls he left for himself
the night before.
“Man, you guys are making this so hard when it doesn’t have
to be.” Brianna left and Fabian had no idea how he was going to
look Braxton in the eye today.
~
Braxton worked out so hard at the gym, he was in agony.
Tyson killed him with a new cross training workout and Braxton
overdid it painfully. Beating himself up. It’s what he did best.
He entered the office and could barely meet Brianna’s eyes,
let alone face Fabian. She gave him a look. A scolding look as he
took his coffee and breakfast into his office.
“Leave me alone for a while. Let me catch up.”
“Whatever. You two are seriously unbelievable.”
Braxton stopped short. “What did he tell you?”
“Nothing. I’m busy. Go hide in your cave and be afraid of the
world.”
Braxton bristled in anger. “I’m not afraid of anyone!”
“Sure, until you look in the mirror.” She answered the phone,
turning her shoulder to him.
Holding the cardboard tray, Braxton set it on his desk and
reached to close his door. Before it shut he heard Brianna asking
the man on the phone, “Dack Torrington? What is this in regards
to?”
Braxton shut his office door and rubbed his face in
frustration. His body was so sore from the lactic acid build up, he wished he had time for a massage to work it out.
He sat at his desk and booted his computer up, feeling like
crap emotionally and physically. A weekend. Two days to catch
up on sleep…if he could sleep. Just as he thought about it, he
looked up the phone number for his doctor’s office online and
called them to make an appointment. He needed valium.
Something to help him calm down.
Brianna instant messaged him while he was waiting to be
connected to his doctor’s office. She wrote, ‘ you want to talk to Dack Torrington? He said he’s one of your auction dates.’
‘ NO! ’ Braxton typed back and finally found his way through the maze of phone options to speak to a receptionist. “Yes, it’s
Braxton Todd. I want to make an appointment.” He looked at his
inbox and watched the emails being responded to by both Fabian
and Brianna, knowing sooner or later he was going to have to
face Fabian. He just didn’t know
what to do—pretend last night
never happened, or beg his forgiveness.
~
Fabian had to pee from all the coffee. He checked his watch
and it was nearing eleven. He couldn’t hide in his office all day.
Standing, buttoning his suit jacket, Fabian opened his door
slowly and looked down the hall.
Brianna was not at her desk and he could hear Braxton’s
voice coming from inside his office, possibly indicating he was
on the phone.
Fabian walked quickly out the door and down the long
corridor to the men’s room. He took care of business and washed
his hands, looking at his reflection in the mirror. The night of
lousy sleep made him feel rough and exhausted.
By the time he returned he caught Brianna exiting the
elevator, a white bag from a café in her hand. He opened the
door to the office for her and asked, “Do you mind going out all
the time for our food?”
“No. I want the brisk walk and it gets me away from the
phones for a while. Why?”
“I just really appreciate it.” Fabian spun around when
Braxton opened his office door, holding paperwork. The two
connected gazes and looked away simultaneously.
Brianna put her purse on the desk beside the bag of food and
blew out a loud breath in frustration. “What the hell happened to
you two last night? Are you kidding me? I have to deal with this
now too?”
“Nothing happened. We’re fine.” Braxton looked into the
white bag.
When Brianna met his gaze, Fabian didn’t know what to say.
‘ Nothing?’ It wasn’t ‘nothing’ to him.
“I swear, you two need a rubber room, or you’re going to put
me in one.” She snatched the bag out of Braxton’s hand abruptly
and pushed them both by the shoulder. “Go eat together in the
fucking lunchroom and get out of my face!”
In the short time he had worked with her, Fabian had never
seen Brianna upset. He headed to the break room and removed a
bottle of water from the refrigerator.
Once Brianna set the bag on the table and left, Braxton dug
out the contents to share. The silence was like a lead weight
between them.
“You want water, Braxton?” Fabian asked softly.
“No. She bought juice.”
Fabian noticed two bottles of high vitamin-enriched juice and
put the water back, as Braxton nudged Fabian’s food to his side
of the table.
“So?” Fabian couldn’t take the tension. “Got what you
wanted?”
“She always gets good food.” He folded the bag and tossed it
out.
“I didn’t mean lunch.”
Braxton met Fabian’s eyes. “Why did you shut off your
phone last night?”
Guilt hit Fabian. “I thought…”
“You thought?” Braxton’s tone and temper appeared to rise.
“I thought you were in a car wreck! That’s what I thought!”
“I…” Fabian watched as Braxton sat on a chair, in a huff, and
opened the plastic top of his salad. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure how
to react to what happened.”
“Yeah. You were sure. You were sure I was using you and
you cut me off.”
It was true. Fabian reached out and touched Braxton’s hair
with his fingertips. Braxton closed his eyes and seemed to want
to decompress. “I’m sorry. I did. That’s exactly what I thought.”
When Braxton met his gaze, he appeared so hurt. “We signed
a contract.”
“It was about work.” Fabian joined Braxton at the table,
leaning over it to speak softly to him. “You promised not to fire
me.”
“And I won’t. Ever.” Braxton clenched his fist and it was
then Fabian noticed the knuckles of his hand were skinned. “But
I thought it was more than that. Not just about work.”
Fabian made contact with Braxton’s hand and inspected the
raw skin. He knew the signs. Braxton had punched a wall. “Did
you make a whole in your plasterboard?”
“No. I hit the concrete of my parking garage.” Braxton began
to eat, moving away from the touch.
“You are so intense.”
“You have no idea. I told you. I can’t deal with anything.”
“What will it take for you to trust someone?”
“Don’t know.” Braxton ate his salad, looking down at his
food.
“Time? Will you give me a little time? Let me prove to you I
can be that guy?”
“What guy?” Braxton glanced up at him.
“The guy you want to stay with.”
Shaking his head and laughing sadly, Braxton replied, “You
don’t want to be with me. Not like that.”
“Why don’t I?” Fabian opened the top to his salad.
“Because I just told you how impossible I am. I’ll end up
driving you crazy. As…”
“As?”
“Never mind.” Braxton continued to eat his food.
Fabian wasn’t going to beg. No way. If Braxton wanted him,
he knew where to find him. “I’ll be at my desk if you need me.”
Fabian took the lunch with him and closed his office door,
fuming and wondering if all this self-criticism of Braxton was a
way to play the cliché card. ‘ Oh it’s not you that’s the problem, it’s me! ’ Classic.
~
What was Braxton supposed to say to him? ‘ I’ll be fine once
I’m on meds? ’ It was humiliating he was even considering going to the doctor for help.
“Are you kidding me?” Brianna entered the lunch room and
stood beside him. “Where’s Fabian?”
“Eating his lunch in his office.”
“Christ, Braxton. Maybe I’m the one who has it wrong and
you are a prick!” She left him sitting alone.
Braxton dropped his plastic fork on his salad and slouched in
the chair, feeling like the worst heel.
The phones were ringing at Brianna’s desk so she headed
back to it. Braxton rose to his feet, tossed his empty container
into the trash and carried his juice with him back to his office.
Pausing, he pressed his ear to Fabian’s door to hear him taking
one of the many calls. Braxton closed his eyes and envisioned
Fabian, naked from the waist down, being fucked by him in the
front seat of his car.
His cheek pressed against the wood, listening to the tone but
unable to catch all the words, Braxton craved Fabian, and not
only for sex. He sensed a true heart in that man, one who has
been hurt and yet was willing to go out on a limb and try again.
When the conversation stopped beyond the door, Braxton
gained his composure and continued to his office, seeing Brianna
avoiding his eye as she spoke on her headset and typed
simultaneously.
It was Friday, and if Braxton did nothing, he’d miss Fabian
all weekend.
He couldn’t recall the last person whom he wanted to
see…for a second date.
Placing the juice on the desk, Braxton sat down and shared
the workload. It was the least he could do.
~
By six Fabian had a headache and couldn’t work anymore.
his arms over his head to ease his neck and back.
A soft rap came to his door, followed by Braxton looking in.
“It’s late. Go home.”
“The time got away from me.”
“It always does when we’re swamped. But fuck it this
weekend. Take two days off. Let me and Brianna keep the
hounds at bay.”
Fabian stood from his chair and pushed it under his desk.
“I’m beat.”
“Me too. Hell of a fucking week.”
“’Night, guys!” was yelled from Brianna.
“‘Night, sweetie!” Braxton shouted back.
Fabian heard the office door open and close. He met
Braxton’s gaze. They were glued to each other at the moment in
a staring match.
Fabian caved in first and made for him, cupping his face and
going for Braxton’s mouth.
Braxton moaned deliciously and wrapped his arms around
Fabian’s waist, making their groins touch. The kissing grew
wild, and Fabian kept stroking Braxton’s rough jaw, digging his
fingers into his long hair. After what felt like a long moment of
twirling tongues and pressing stiff cocks together, Fabian rested
his forehead on Braxton’s and caught his breath. “I can’t stop
thinking about you.”
“I don’t know which of us is the bigger fool.”
“Me.” Fabian smiled adoringly at him.
Braxton chuckled and appeared shy. “True.”
“Do you have a date tonight, Mr Todd? Auction or
otherwise?” Fabian ran his fingers along Braxton’s square jaw
line and admired those magical hazel irises of his.
“Thankfully, no.”
Fabian searched Braxton’s gaze. “If I invite you to my home,
will you come?”
“Yes.”
Wanting to add, ‘ for a fuck and then you’ll leave? ’ Fabian restrained the urge. Braxton smoothed his hand down Fabian’s
side to his hip and used his thumb to massage tiny circles on
Fabian’s pelvis. It was so sensually erotic, Fabian’s cock was
throbbing down the leg of his dress trousers.
Braxton went for Fabian’s mouth again, and they kissed
softly, lovingly. Then it changed to something else—fire.
Braxton pushed Fabian against his desk and went for Fabian’s
belt.
You want to fuck me right here on my desk?
Although the temptation and desire was great, Fabian had a
dreaded feeling if he allowed it, Braxton would simply go home