"I wanted the deaths to appear accidental, and in deference to Aunt Mabel's superstitious beliefs, I decided to play up the old ghost story. I thought it might make the accidents more reasonable—nervous excitement, you know—and I hoped that the horror and fear would finish Aunt Mabel."
Mrs. Ballinger started to thunder, "I haven't got angina—" but was peremptorily silenced by Joe.
Berg, after an annoyed frown at the interruption, took up the tale again. "As Dick said, I fixed the brick in the attic that night, and I fixed John's scaffolding, too—I found it lying up there. After that I got a tasty little supper, taking care not to run into any of you women.
"I could not resist trying out my apparatus on you. I was lucky with it, too. I found I had to have wind to work it properly, and there was nearly always wind.
"I brought Dick to the houseparty so that he would pay some attention to Rhynda. I knew they'd get on well enough together, and I did not want anyone to think that I was interested in her. I wanted her to be occupied, too, so that she would not catch on to what I was doing. But you did catch on, didn't you, Rhynda?"
Rhynda, staring at the floor with dropped head, made no reply.
"I waited all day for John's accident," Berg resumed, "but he did not use the scaffold until late in the afternoon. When he did, it broke pretty promptly, and that part of it was done.
"Leigh helped me tremendously there by telling me to take the scaffold away. I took it down to the cellar and was looking around for a good hiding place, when Doris came down for something, so I had to throw it under the stairs.
"I came back as soon as I could and hid it, but the harm had already been done.
"I was determined to carry it through, though, with all the ghostly embellishments, so I got up that night and moved John to the chair, and Freda saw me. I did not know about Freda until Leigh told Dick and me at our little conference. Fortunately, Freda had not named me.
"I told Leigh to pump her, and I went off myself to find her and somehow shut her up forever. I never liked her, anyway. She loaned me ten dollars once and never ceased to dun me for it thereafter. And I have rarely seen a more unattractive woman."
Richard murmured, "Never mind the personalities," and even Joe muttered gruffly, "For Chrissake, get on with it."
Berg ignored them and continued to enjoy his position in the spotlight.
"I was a bit disturbed to find that Freda was missing and that everyone was searching for her. She was found by dinner time, and after dinner I could not get her alone. After she went upstairs with Leigh I played hide-and-seek in their two bedrooms and in the hall, listening to as much of their conversation as possible, so that I could interrupt at once if Freda started getting too confidential.
"At last I heard Freda say that she was going to the bathroom, so I hurried there before her and hid in the closet. I dropped that black-headed pin there. I'd picked it up in Aunt Mabel's room and had decided that a few clues leading elsewhere would do not harm just in case Freda's death would not be considered accidental.
"When it was found—and all the sleuths seemed to regard it as a valuable clue—I deliberately put the others around in the various significant places. Even the one in Amy's room—I put that in this morning." He stopped to laugh reminiscently. "I was supposed to be in the bathroom, and Aunt Mabel and Rosalie Nightingale there were too modest to see me go and come.
"But about Freda. She came into the bathroom alone, but she was still talking, and I realized that Leigh must be outside. I knew there was no time to be lost, so I picked up the hammer that was so conveniently there, slid out of the closet quietly, and hit her as she leaned over the basin and turned on the faucet. Fortunately she had her back to me, and she never made a sound. I caught her so that Leigh would not hear her fall and immediately turned on the water in the bathtub. I undressed her and got her in.
"I had not intended to move Freda's body. I thought it would be of no particular use and was too dangerous. But when Leigh went down for her supper I couldn't resist doing it—it was so easy, and the effect so dramatic." He laughed again, into the stunned silence of the room. "I was glad I'd done it afterwards, because I thought it might create an impression that the attack was directed at all the Ballingers.
"I had intended to attack myself tonight instead of last night, but I had gone downstairs with the telephone to put it in a handy place and make my plans when I heard someone come out of Rhynda's room. I thought it was Leigh, and I felt sure that she was coming down—in fact, she came straight for the top of the stairs. I hit my forehead as hard as I could with the telephone, and then I heard her walk away from the stairs. I went halfway up and heard her go to the bathroom. I figured that it might still be all right—she might have decided to go to the bathroom before coming down.
"I looked around for a convenient place to lie down, but I was a bit uneasy about my wound; it wasn't hurting enough. I went to the dining room, put the telephone down on the table, switched on the light, and looked at myself in the mirror, and I have never seen a more innocuous looking wound in my life. I had to work fast then. I picked up a cloth from a side table, went to the kitchen and got a knife, came back to the dining room, and made a cut straight through the bruise that was already on my forehead. I bloodied the telephone a bit, wiped it clean of fingerprints, and returned it to the table. I turned off the light and made my way in the dark to the front hall. I still had the knife, so I wiped it off and put it into Rhynda's coat pocket in the closet.
"I waited anxiously then for Leigh to come down, but there was no sound. I mopped at the blood with the cloth and realized that I was beginning to feel faint, and I got a bit desperate. I went to the gong and played it, but absolutely no one paid any attention. I had about decided to take myself and the weapon upstairs and make some sort of noise up there, when I heard Leigh come out again. I know that door because it has a little squeak. But I had no way of knowing that it was Rhynda who had come out the first time, or that she was, even then, sitting in my room, waiting to talk to me.
"This time it really was Leigh, but I took no chances. I went and played the gong again and dropped one of the black-headed pins onto the floor beneath it. I had two with me.
"I should have dropped myself onto the floor beside the pin, but I made the mistake of going back to the stairs to see if Leigh was coming. I could not see or hear anything until suddenly there she was, almost upon me. I managed to step aside silently and slipped into the music room, and the next instant she had the hall light on.
"I heard her go around into the back hall and then on into the kitchen. I did not quite know what to do then. I was feeling dizzy and faint, and I thoughtlessly switched off the hall light—another mistake, I suppose.
"I waited at the foot of the stairs for what seemed hours, but at last I heard her open the door to the back hall. Then she closed it again, went into the dining room, and retreated once more." He glanced at me and added, "I hate an indecisive woman."
I opened my mouth to retort, but Joe shut me up.
Berg resumed. "While I was wondering what her next antic would be, she suddenly came rushing through from the back hall, and before I could lie down at the foot of the stairs, she stopped dead, and I realized that somehow she could see me.
"At that moment, Rhynda called from the top of the stairs, and I made an involuntary, forward movement. It finished Smith—she was off like a scared rabbit and went flying out the front door.
"I think I ran even faster than she did. I got into that front room and was lucky to find that the window was not locked and didn't stick. I vaulted over the sill and landed in the flowerbed, making the now-famous heelmarks. I threw the blood-soaked cloth over the shrubbery and closed my hand tightly on the remaining pin.
"Either it was very dark or Leigh was blind and deaf with hysteria, for it was not a second later that she stumbled over me. I went out like a light, then, in peace and comfort."
We all stared at him in silence as he finished his ex
traordinary recital with evident pleasure in himself and his delivery.
CHAPTER 32
The shocked silence was broken by Mrs. Ballinger, who had hysterics. Amy fought with Rosalie Hannahs to minister to her, and I figured that Amy had a bigger eye than ever now on the main chance. Rosalie too, was evidently beginning to think that there might be something in it for her.
"What did she mean when she said she didn't have angina?" I asked of nobody in particular.
Berg laughed. "I've suspected for several days now that the old pest didn't have it after all. I heard her telling Rosalie about it. It's never been diagnosed, except by herself. She read it up in a medical book and decided that she had all the symptoms, but she would not go to a doctor because of the expense. That thing she wears around her neck is merely a small bottle of smelling salts."
"But what about her attacks?"
"Nobody has ever seen her have one. She described them to us and made them sound ghastly, but she would not tell you or Doris about them because she was afraid you might demand more wages if you knew you were attending an invalid. I believe she broke down the other day and let O'Beirne examine her, and he laughed her angina out of existence. Would have been a good joke on me—I'd have had to arrange another accident."
Richard and I stared at him, and Richard asked, with a sort of cold curiosity, "Don't you take this thing seriously at all?"
"Seriously?" Berg laughed. "No. It means a few years in a loony bin, and then I'll write a book about it."
"Claiming insanity?"
"Naturally. It must be obvious to you that I am mentally unbalanced—whatever. Listen, Dick, will you phone Sam Stephens for me?"
Richard nodded, and, putting his arm through mine, marched me out of the room. Rhynda trailed after us, leaving Berg, Joe and Donald Tait to each other. As the door closed I heard Joe say happily, "Outa that bed, brother, and get yourself dressed—and no lavender pants, either, see? They wouldn't match the inside of our jail."
Rhynda caught up with us and laid a hand on my arm. "Wait a minute. I have to say my little piece. I'm sorry that I had to be so lacking in finesse, but I was honestly frightened half out of my wits. I knew Berg was up to something, and when John and Freda died I began to have a vague idea of what it was, but I had no proof of any sort—nothing. I wanted no connection with Berg of any sort, and I tried to connect up with Richard instead. I thought it might work because John had started to be jealous at my going about with other men, and at the Christmas Eve party he backed me into a corner and told me off properly about flirting with Richard. It was the first time he had done that, and I was furious. I guess that's why I was so rude to you that night, Leigh. Later on, when I claimed Richard, it was funny to see your face."
"Rubbish!" I said shortly.
Rhynda laughed, almost happily. "Well, I'm off to pack. And if I ever come out to the country again, you can have me certified."
She walked off, humming, and I said, "Now she's all cheered up again. I wonder what it's like always to be either bubbling over or down in the dumps."
"I hope you're feeling cheery enough yourself to accept me, should I happen to propose to you," he said mildly.
"Absolutely. Go ahead."
"No," he said. "I'd better think it over first. And anyway, I have to phone Sam."
I followed him downstairs. "Is Berg really going to get off as lightly as he thinks?"
"No, he's not. He always was unduly optimistic. But I'm not crying about it, Smithy. He deserves whatever he gets."
He put his hand on the telephone, and I said, "Wait a minute. You read me out that list of queer things that I found in the various bedrooms, and your false teeth, my Elsie books, and Berg's list of names for the house have all been explained, but I still don't understand Amy's maternity dress, Donald Tait's stink bombs, Mrs. Ballinger's prospectus for a boys' school, or Rosalie's unused ticket for Elkton."
He grinned at me. "They have no bearing on the matter, but I suppose I'll have to explain. Joe was right—you ain't called Nosey Smith for nothin'.
"Rosalie's ticket pretty nearly speaks for itself. She describes it as a tragedy and says she was to buy her ticket and meet dear Martin at the station. They were eloping, for no very good reason, but Martin never showed up. She keeps the ticket for sentimental reasons and is dedicating the rest of her life to a search for him.
"Amy readily explained that the stink bombs and the maternity gown were routine equipment when she and Donald went to weekend parties. It seems you can have no end of a good time with the stink bombs, and the gown is Donald's fancy dress costume.
"That catalogue from the boys' school that you found in Mrs. Ballinger's room is giving Amy a lot of headaches. It seems the old lady is thinking of adopting a boy from a local orphanage. The place is one of her charities, and she heard that the kid is a wizard carpenter—seems to be born to it. Her idea is to give him a gentlemen's education at the cheapest boarding school she can find, and thus gain the awe and admiration of the village and the respect of the orphanage. She said she wanted a man around the place in her old age, but I think the main idea is that, as time goes on, the kid can do all the repair work, free of charge. It's killing two birds with one stone, you see—she loves applause, and she loves to save money."
The front doorbell rang stridently, and after a moment Doris appeared from the back hall. She opened the door and was engaged for some time in what seemed to be a heated discussion. Presently she looked over her shoulder and called to Richard, "There's three men here, come about the murders. I keep telling them Joe's seeing to it, but they won't listen."
"You'll have to let them go up," Richard said gravely. "Can't interfere with the law."
Doris stood back, looking aggrieved, and as the three men came in I directed them upstairs. Richard looked after them as they clattered off and said softly, "Just too late, you interfering louses. This is Joe's day."
He got his connection in New York then, and I explained about Berg to Doris, who was standing with her mouth hanging open. When I had finished, she refused point-blank to believe any of it. Berg had always been her favorite, and she was quite certain that he was shielding someone, probably Amy. She went off, muttering to herself.
Richard hung up the receiver and stood up.
"Sam coming?" I asked.
"Yes. Look here, Smithy, I've decided to propose to you."
"Have you thought it over?"
"Yes."
I scuffed around a bit and said, "What made you finally decide?"
"Oh well. I might go farther and do worse, you know, and it's time I settled down."
"All right," I said cheerfully. "I accept. I don't know about settling down, or doing worse, but I do need five meals a day."
The End
A catalog of Rue Morgue Press titles as of December 1999
The Black Gloves by Constance & Gwenyth Little. "I'm relishing every madcap
moment."—Murder Most Cozy. Welcome to the Vickers estate near East Orange,
New Jersey, where the middle class is destroying the neighborhood, erecting
their horrid little cottages, playing on the Vickers tennis court, and generally
disrupting the comfortable life of Hammond Vickers no end. It's bad enough
that he had to shell out good money to his daughter Lissa a Reno divorce only to
have her brute of an es-husband show up on his doorstep. But why does there
also have to be a corpse in the cellar? And lights going on and off in the attic?
First published in 1939.0-915230-20-8 $14.00
The Black Honeymoon by Constance & Gwenyth Little. Can you murder some-
one with feathers? If you don't believe feathers are lethal, then you probably
haven't read a Little mystery. No, Uncle Richard wasn't tickled to death—though
we can't make the same guarantee for readers—but the hyper-allergic rich man
did manage to sneeze himself into the hereafter in his hosp
ital room. Suspicion
falls on his nurse, young Miriel Mason, who recently married the dead man's
nephew, an army officer on furlough. To clear herself of murder as well as
charges of being a gold-digger, Miriel summons private detective Kelly, an old
crony of her father's, who gets himself hired as a servant even though he can't
cook, clean or serve. First published in 1944.0-915230-21-6 $14.00
Great Black Kanba by Constance & Gwenyth Little. "If you love train mysteries as
much as I do, hop on the Trans-Australia Railway in Great Black Kanba, a fast and
funny 1944 novel by the talented (Littles)."—-Jon L. Breen, Ellery Queen's Mystery
Magazine. "I have decided to add KanbaXo my favorite mysteries of all time list!...a
zany ride I'll definitely take again and again."—Diane Plumley in the Murder Ink
newsletter. When a young American woman wakes up on an Australia train with
a bump on her head and no memory, she suddenly finds out that she's engaged
to two different men and the chief suspect in a murder case. But she's almost
more upset to discover that she appears to have absolutely dreadful taste in
clothing. It all adds up to some delightful mischief—call it Cornell Woolrich on
laughing gas.0-915230-22-4 $14.00
The Grey Mist Murders by Constance & Gwenyth Little. Who—or what—is the mysterious figure that emerges from the grey mist to strike down several passengers on the final leg of a round-the-world sea voyage? Is it the same shadowy entity that persists in leaving three matches outside Lady Marsh's cabin every morning? And why does one flimsy negligee seem to pop up at every turn? When Carla Bray first heard things go bump in the night, she hardly expected to find a corpse in the adjoining cabin. Nor did she expect to find herself the chief suspect in the murders. Robert Arnold, a sardonic young man who joined the ship in Tahiti, makes a play for Carla but if he's really interested in helping to clear her of murder, why does he spend so much time courting other women on board? This 1938 effort was the Littles' first book. 0-915230-26-7 $14.00
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