“Dad-dy!” Ben grabbed the man’s boot from where he sat in his bright red snowsuit and grinned.
“He can’t stay long,” Sarah informed her. “He just came to wish us a Merry Christmas…and to say goodbye.”
“What?” Emma blinked. “How?”
Emma’s entire body trembled, not from the winter chill. Larry seemed whole, and that couldn’t be. He’d died. The army had flown his body home, yet here he was looking as he did the day he left for the tour. When their eyes met, she felt him drinking her in, and she did the same as tears threatened to spill down her face. She took a step closer, but he held up his hand.
“My peanut-girl is right, I don’t have much time.” He placed a kiss on Sarah’s cheek and one on Ben’s head before standing to face her. “I’m using a lot of energy, darling, it’s making me weak being here like this. I want to hold you so much right now, so much.”
“Then hold me,” Emma’s voice squeaked, and she swallowed hard to hold back a sob.
“I can’t, not just yet. There’s so much I have to say to you.”
“What? Larry, I miss you every day. I want you back.”
“I know, baby, I know. But it can’t be anymore.” He raised his hand and caressed the air around her cheek and chin. Emma felt her face begin to warm up.
“Why?” She lifted her head. “You’re here now. Please stay. We need you.”
“I can’t stay this way. I had to come and make things right.” He looked down at the children, patting snow into a large round ball at his feet, and smiled. “They need to be happy, Emma. You need to be happy.”
“I am. You’re here now. Everything is okay.”
“No it’s not,” his voice seemed firm yet distant, and she shivered. Was he talking about the kiss she’d shared with Jake?
“I’m sorry. I wanted Jake to help me. I know now he talks to you. I thought he could bring us all together. I will stay away from him if you want. I will move. We can move. Just stay here with us. We’re you’re family.”
“I can’t stay. Please don’t cry.”
“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed. She didn’t want to believe he couldn’t stay. She didn’t want to be alone again.
“No, Emma, I’m sorry. I’ve held you back. I’ve made you so sad that you stopped living.”
“No, that’s not true.” She shook her head, hoping to convince them both.
“Yes it is. I’ve watched you all these years. Last week I saw how you and Jake were feeling. I didn’t want to believe it, and I became angry and jealous. The one man I trusted to watch over my family was starting to have everything I ever wanted and will never have again.”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s true. I was mad at you and mad at him and somewhere along the way I was even mad at myself for ever getting on the chopper that day. I know how badly you’re hurting now, and I don’t want you to ever feel this way again. I’ve seen how much Jake is hurting without you, too.”
“Stay with us, Larry.”
“I trusted Jake for a reason. Emma, if ever there was someone who could love you and the kids the way you need to be loved and protect you, it’s Jake Nicklaus. It’s taken me time to realize this, but Jake will always be there for you. He loves you, Emma. But there’s not much time.”
“But being with Jake will mean I lose you, and I can’t do that again. I won’t.”
“You will never lose me, Emma. I’m always going to be here, especially at Christmas. It’s okay to love him. I’ve seen it in your eyes. It’s a different glow, but it’s shining just for him.”
“What are you saying?”
“He’s leaving. He can’t live here any longer believing you hate him, and he can’t help you. He’s taking the next train to Alabama. You have to stop him.”
“I can’t.”
“You have to. You both need each other, and I can’t stand in your way any longer. He’s a wonderful man, Emma. I’m proud to give you to him.”
Larry reached out and pulled her in his arms. She held on tight, letting the smell and feel of him fill her senses, her memory, her being. He felt warm, then cold and after a few moments she could feel him slipping away beneath her.
“I love you, baby,” his voice called from somewhere far away. She stepped out of his embrace, watching him shimmer like the snow around them until he was gone.
“I’ll love you forever,” she whispered.
Emma shot a panicked look toward the back door. Traci stood, wrapped in a wool sweater, blotting the tears from her face. Her friend waved her on, mouthing the word ‘go.’ Emma turned back to the children still playing unaware in the snow.
“Daddy’s gone, isn’t he?” Sarah’s tiny voice asked.
“Yes.” Emma sniffed and glanced once more toward the front yard.
“Please don’t let Jake go away, too. He loves us just as much as Daddy.”
***
Sarah’s plea rang in Emma’s ears as she ran. With every step she took, she felt the years of sorrow and longing leave her body. When she reached the front of the house, Jake was just tossing his olive green duffle into the bed of his pickup truck.
“I believe,” her voice quivered, but he didn’t seem to hear. Shaking her hands at her sides, she cleared her throat and spoke louder this time, “I believe.” Jake slowly turned and froze in place.
“Emma? What are you doing?” He looked shocked to see her standing outside without a coat or boots or gloves, and she didn’t care. She walked toward him as a light snow started to fall.
“I’m stopping you from leaving.” Emma tried not to laugh at his slack jaw and busied herself trying to remove his heavy duffle.
“It’s better this way, Emma. I understand how I made you feel. Heck, I’d hate me, too.” He placed his hand over hers to stop her, the zap of electricity connecting them once again.
“No, it’s not. I’ve been miserable without you in my life. It’s taken me until now to realize how much I’ve always looked forward to seeing you and having you here.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” She saw the beginning of a smile tug at the corners of his mouth.
“What you’ve done for me and the children goes beyond honor or duty, Jake. You’ve sacrificed so much being here and taking care of us. You put your own life on hold.”
“I made a promise.”
“I know. I never thought I’d feel love again after losing Larry. Then you came along and I felt myself changing inside. I wanted to believe, but I was too stubborn. I thought what I was doing was living, but it wasn’t even close. And you gave me the greatest gift of all. I got to see Larry one more time. That never would have happened if you hadn’t come into my life. You helped me let go.”
“What exactly are you saying, Emma?”
“I’m saying I love you. I’m saying I don’t want another day without you in it. I’m saying don’t go.”
“You are?”
“Yes. You make me laugh and feel safe. You’re always here for me.”
“And I always will be.”
“Then you’re not leaving?”
“No. I love you too much to ever be without you.”
Emma fell into his arms. His lips found hers in the sweetest kiss she’d ever imagined. A breeze kicked up as snowflakes spun around their feet, moving higher until they were the center of flurry.
A soft light glowed from within their circle, pulling back as the snow settled once more at their feet and fell from the air around them like a snow globe. When they looked, they saw the iridescent image of a soldier waving as he walked away. With the blow of a kiss, he was gone.
EPILOGUE
“We’ve been so good this year I hope Santa brings tons of presents!” Sarah clapped her hands then hugged her brother.
“You think you’ve been that good, huh?” Emma laughed and set cookies on a plate while Jake poured the cup of milk.
“There, I think we’re almost ready,” he said.
“What else do we have to do?”
Sarah’s eyes grew wide.
“You and Ben need to go to bed. Santa will never come if you’re awake.”
“Let’s hurry, Ben!” The two hustled from the kitchen and thumped all the way up the stairs. Emma and Jake followed at a slower pace, stopping to set the milk and cookies by the tree. Emma paused at the base of the stairs, leaning to stretch her back.
“Are you okay?” Jake placed his hand on her very round stomach. With the baby due in three weeks, he was a nervous wreck every time she felt a twinge.
“I’m fine. You try carrying all of this extra weight. I’m as big as a house. I don’t know how Santa does it.” She watched as a devilish smirk crossed his face. “Don’t get any ideas. I’m not dressing like Mrs. Clause.”
“You’re already my Mrs. Nicklaus, and you’d look beautiful no matter what you wore.”
“You’d better be careful or Santa won’t leave you any presents,” she scolded even though she wore a bright smile of her own.
“I have all the presents I need right here in this house.”
Emma moved his hand to feel the baby kick. “I think someone agrees with you. Let’s get the kids tucked in so we can finish wrapping their gifts.
Ben was already half asleep when they entered his room. They pulled the blankets under his chin and kissed his head. Next they found Sarah gazing out the window at the bright moon.
“What are you doing? I thought you’d already be in bed,” Emma said as she drew the curtains.
“I was saying Merry Christmas to Daddy,” Sarah replied and jumped under the covers, holding up a downy white feather. Emma and Jake moved to the window. The faint image of a soldier could be seen shimmering in the moonlight below.
Emma placed her hand on the window pane. Jake covered her hand with his while keeping a protective arm around her. The soldier smiled at them before he disappeared into the twinkling night.
“Merry Christmas,” the couple said with all of the love they felt in their hearts, and two angelic feathers floated before them reaffirming that all was finally right.
About the Author
Barbara lives in upstate New York with her supportive husband and their three children. She’s been a writer for as long as she can remember. If she doesn’t have a laptop you can bet she has a notebook. Barbara loves to travel and hopes to one day take a trip to Ireland for “research.” But until that happens she will settle for an occasional getaway with her favorite alpha male.
Fun Facts
- Loves camping, hiking, anything that gets her outside and in touch with nature.
- Avid dog lover who at a young age claimed she was going to have a house full of puppies, not kids!
- Dreamed of being a professional ice dancer.
- Enjoys crocheting and scrapbooking.
- Will never turn down strawberry liquorice.
Santa Wore Combat Boots Page 9