by Joyce, T. S.
“Shhh,” he crooned, brushing her hair off her shoulder. “It’s done now.”
With a sigh, she looked out the burned door to the dirty cave floor. “There’s no envelope.”
“I know.”
“It’s okay, Ian. Miller won’t get to us. I won’t let him. Not ever.”
“Strong mate,” he murmured. “Do you know how sexy it is watching you come into your own? Soft to steel.” He kissed her gently, then walked her backward until her shoulders rested on the cave wall. “Watching that determination flash across your eyes. I thought I couldn’t love you any more than I already did, but then I watched you learn so much.” He brushed his fingertips up her neck and cupped her cheek. “You work harder and longer than anyone I’ve ever met, and you never get frustrated when I’m teaching you something new. You just try harder until you get it. My wood-chopping, rifle-slinging, fierce-as-hell Alaskan mate.” He sipped her lips again. “I’ve never met a woman stronger than you.”
And that right there was the difference between Cole and Ian. A weak man was intimidated by a strong woman. Cole had lashed out as she’d discovered herself little by little. He’d stunted her to make himself feel more in control. But Ian, her Ian, had worked to push her from the ashes like a damned phoenix and fell more in love with her as she’d transformed into a better version of herself. That’s what love was supposed to be—not some power struggle. It was both people pushing the other to be better. To be stronger.
Breath shallow, she shoved the straps of the backpack from his shoulders and set his gun gently against the wall. She took her time unzipping his jacket. And after she shoved it off his shoulders, exposing his sweater with the top button undone, she traced the strong lines of his muscular neck down the deeply shadowed indentation between his pecs.
He’d never shared this place with anyone else. He’d never shared this part of himself, but for her, he’d opened up and let her in. And she knew how scary that was because she’d been learning to trust him, too, and damn it all, it was terrifying to let another man really see her after Cole had stripped her bare and exposed the ugliest parts of her.
But Ian wasn’t running. He wasn’t throwing his hands up and telling her she was “too much work.” He wasn’t leaving for town just to escape her. Instead, he was showing her the bottomless adoration a good man was capable of. He was telling her without words that she deserved everything he could give her.
That she was worthy of unconditional love.
That she was enough.
Ian slipped her headlamp off and let it fall from his fingers to the floor, then he cupped both of her cheeks and kissed her. This wasn’t the desperate passion-saturated love-making they’d done in the barn. This was an apology for hiding from her before. It was a promise that he would always be with her, trying. It was a declaration he would work as long as necessary to gain her trust back after his secrets had been exposed.
“I hated sleeping away from you last night,” she whispered against his lips.
“Then I won’t do it again.” He undressed her slowly as his lips moved gently against hers. He shifted his weight from side to side as he removed her clothes. Angling his face, he slipped his tongue past her lips.
She melted against him as he slid his hands up her bare ribs. How were his hands so warm? Somehow, he seemed to run hotter the closer to winter it became.
Writhing against him, she gripped the back of his hair and brushed her lips against his throat. Tugging at the neck of his sweater, she exposed the mostly healed bite she’d given him. She kissed it gently, and a shudder took his shoulders. A soft growl filled the small space, and she smiled. It was easy to tell when she had him.
He dragged her waist closer and rocked his hips against hers in just the right spot to draw a gasp from her lips.
“Ian,” she sighed, and the name echoed off the cave walls.
The jangle of his belt and the slow rip of the zipper dumped warmth into her middle, and now his teeth were on her, grazing, nipping down her neck, and working back up until his lips crashed onto hers. God, she loved him. Loved him claiming her body in his den, making her a part of this place.
His eyes were dark in the muted light that her discarded headlamp provided. Here, in the place he’d spent so much time, vulnerable and asleep, she felt more connected to him than ever. She felt safe here and could understand why he’d chosen it as a den. Outside, the world spun on. It was harsh, cold, and the constant struggle for survival was unending, but in here, with the man she loved more than her own life, she was safe. For the first time ever, she felt whole.
Ian lifted the back of her knee and deepened his kiss, stroking his tongue against hers as he brushed her wet entrance with the tip of his swollen cock. A needy sound wrenched from her throat as he pushed in an inch and slid back out, teasing. She clawed down his back to punish him, but he smiled against her lips as though he enjoyed it.
“Please,” she whispered.
Holding her close, Ian pushed into her, stretching her slowly as she arched her head back and gasped at the intense pleasure building in her center. He eased out slow, then slammed into her. Closing her eyes against the cold cave walls and shutting her senses off to the lingering smoke, she pushed her nose against his throat and inhaled his scent instead. She plucked at his skin there with her lips, then sucked hard as he bucked into her again.
She rocked with him, meeting him with each blow until his body shook and his control slipped. His next thrust was faster and harder, and he pulled her off the ground completely, wrapping her legs around his waist as he slammed her backward against the cold, smooth cave wall. It should’ve hurt, but she didn’t feel anything past the way he was filling her. Her mate wasn’t gentle by nature, not when they were together like this. He tried for her, but it always ended up satisfyingly rough. The room filled with the slick sound of their love-making as he rammed into her faster, pressing her against the wall as the snarl in his throat turned feral. One arm around her waist, he pulled her hand above her head with the other into a submissive position that begged her to trust him.
Pressure built, bigger and wider, until she was lost on a wave of pleasure. The cave didn’t exist anymore, and neither did any of their problems outside of here. The constant threat of his hibernation disappeared because, in this moment, it was just her and Ian—alive and healthy and together. The only thing that mattered was her mate and this overwhelming bond that was building between them. His powerful hips thrust against her over and over, harder until she moaned, hanging right on the edge of release.
Ian held her tighter, his arms flexed hard as he bucked into her, and with his name on her lips, she detonated around him, pulsing, gripping him as pleasure flooded through her in tidal waves. He gritted out her name and buried his face against her shoulder as he slammed into her again and froze. His pulsing release matched hers, filling her with warmth.
“I love you, Elyse. I love you,” he panted.
The raw, thick desperation in his voice shocked her to her core, so she hugged him tighter. “Shhh. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
She’d never seen Ian scared, but here, in the dark of his old, charred den, he’d just given her a glimpse of something she’d never realized.
He was just as terrified of losing her as she was of losing him.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Miki was fast asleep in Elyse’s lap when Ian pulled the truck to a stop in front of the cabin.
She was shocked to find Josiah chopping wood near the porch.
“Jo?” she asked, getting out with Miki cradled in her arms.
The pup woke up and wiggled to be set free, so she let him down, and the little hellion went bouncing toward her brother, letting off his big pup bark.
Josiah left the ax in the chopping block and knelt down, offering Miki his hand. Ian pulled the tailgate of his truck down and started unloading while Elyse followed the dog’s path to her brother.
“Is everything okay?”
Her brother looked up at her with those somber gold-green eyes that were so much like hers. “We lost two more cattle last night to wolves.”
“Oh my gosh. Which ones?”
“The bull and one of the mommas.” Josiah sat down in the dirt and pulled Miki into his lap. “They have to be rabid or something. They left the half-grown calf and went after two big ones. And that ain’t all. The wolves didn’t even eat them. They just killed them for sport. Makes no damned sense this close to winter.”
Elyse swallowed hard and looked up at the churning storm clouds above them. The McCalls had done this, led by that asshole, Miller.
“I brought the calf with me, but we need to get back and bring the rest of them in. They’re exposed out there, and every day they spend out in the open now, they’re at risk.”
“Did you see the wolves?”
“Nah, they’re being crafty, only taking the cattle in pitch dark. I can hear them, though. Howling and calling like a fucking celebration every time they take an animal.”
Ian nodded to her once. Even from the truck, he’d heard the devastating news. Cattle were expensive and hard to come by, and that bull would cost them a lot to replace. Fucking Miller. He was hunting them from all sides now, taunting them with how much he could destroy their lives. He might not have the right key for the new padlock on the freezer, but he was still stealing from her.
Ian strode forward and reached down, gave Josiah a mannish handshake, then helped him up. “Thanks for letting us know. I’ll need a couple of hours to cut up the venison we got, and then we can head out.”
“Good hunt?”
“We filled two tags.”
Josiah laughed. “You mean you filled two. I know my sister. She won’t shoot anything bigger than a ptarmigan.”
“You’re wrong,” Elyse said. “We both had a good hunt.”
Josiah’s dark eyebrows arched high. “No shit?”
“No shit, man. She even dressed hers out.”
“Damn,” Josiah murmured, shocked. “I wish Uncle Jim was here to see this.”
The flattery heated her cheeks as Elyse dropped her gaze. That was as close to a compliment as her brother ever got. “Me, too.”
“Okay, well let’s get the table out. I can help and cut the work in half while Elyse saddles up the horses.”
As much as Elyse wanted to take a shower after their two-day hunting trip, it was already mid-morning, and they were burning daylight. She took her and Ian’s rifles and checked that they were unloaded, then put the safety back on both before she climbed the porch stairs and settled them against the railing where they wouldn’t fall over. And when she turned to head for the horses’ shelter, Josiah was watching her with a slight frown.
“You’re different.”
“Thank you,” she clipped out as she strode for the gate where the horses waited.
Ian chuckled from behind her, and she grinned to herself.
A bucket of grain was the only thing that was going to keep Demon from pinning her against the fence. Bribery worked best with this black-coated beast. As she brushed his thickening coat out, she lifted her gaze time and time again to where Ian and Josiah were preparing the venison and wrapping it in brown paper. They talked low and easy, but she couldn’t hear anything from here.
Demon tried to bite her when she put the saddle blanket on him, but he always did that, so she was ready and dodged his teeth. Irritated, he kicked, as if his near miss put him in a worse mood, and she rolled her eyes at what a little monster he could be. He was the taller of her two horses, so she had to give the saddle a strong swing upward to get it on. Demon pawed the dirt near the fence where she’d tied him, but at least the bucket of grain distracted him enough that he didn’t try to bite her again.
Milo was much better behaved and always had been. He was a chestnut horse with a big white blaze down his nose. He didn’t need the bribery, but she gave him a bucket of food to munch on to be fair. She could’ve sworn Demon was glaring at her the entire time she sang to Milo and saddled him, but she didn’t care. Ian was going to handle that horse’s foul mood, and she was going to have a nice, peaceful trail drive with her dependable horse.
She was finished before the men, so she left the horses tied to the fence and ready while she went inside and packed another backpack of food for Ian’s ravenous appetite. They would only be roughing it one night, but it still required preparation, so she busied herself with packing them so Ian wouldn’t have to worry about it.
Supplies sitting next to the guns outside, she rushed in and changed her clothes. Thermal pants under her jeans, two pairs of wool socks in her hiking boots, and a double layer of sweaters under her winter jacket. She glanced at herself in the mirror, and it shocked her to a stop. Her cheeks were filling out and tinged the rosy color that had left her during the hard years. She stood taller and didn’t have her chin to her chest, staring down at the ground like she used to do. The dark circles under her eyes had disappeared, and deep within her strange-colored eyes, she saw something she’d never seen before and almost didn’t recognize. Pride.
She’d taken a deer, and respectfully. It had been a good, clean, painless shot, and her effort would help to keep her and Ian fed this winter. And as she stared at the stranger reflected in the mirror, something within her clicked into place. She could do this. No longer was she living each day thinking this winter would be her last. Her confidence in her own abilities were growing.
Ripping her gaze away from the mirror glass, she pulled a dark green winter hat over her ears, then tugged her warmest work gloves on and left the house to pack the horses’ saddlebags.
Ian’s lessons repeated in her mind as she checked the weapons one last time for safety before she slid them into the leather sheaths on the saddles and strapped them into place. And when Milo and Demon were ready, she allowed them a good drink, then pulled them behind her out of the gate. Josiah waved as he trotted toward his truck, a black trash bag of meat dangling from his other hand. “I’ll meet you there. I’ve got them penned up on the south side of my property.”
“Okay, we’ll see you tonight.”
“Yep!” Josiah nodded his farewell to Ian, who was locking up the freezer.
Ian gave a soft whistle, and Miki left the bowl of food he’d just devoured on the porch and trotted toward them.
Demon lurched to the side as Ian put his foot in the stirrup, but that moody gelding was no match for him. Ian swung over the saddle smoothly and jerked his reins as the beast reached back to nip his leg. Of course he knew how to handle himself on a horse. There was likely nothing Ian Silver couldn’t do.
Ian gave a troubled look up at the storm clouds, then back at her. “You ready?” But his eyes looked different. Hazy. Tired.
Dread snaked through her, but she nodded. “Ready.”
A stark sense of urgency was a constant companion as she led Ian toward Josiah’s homestead. She pointed out the landmarks along the way. Even though it was only a twenty mile journey, it was easy to get lost in Alaskan wilderness like this. And out here, getting lost meant death. Everything out here was designed to kill the weak. Weather and predators were king, and mistakes meant dying alone in the unforgiving wilderness.
Miki made it a mile before he tired out and Elyse zipped him up in her jacket. He fought it at first, but he settled against her chest soon enough. The smooth gait of her horse lulled her into a quiet comfort as she and Ian rode along in silence. His lack of speaking was more troubling when highlighted by the way he slumped in the saddle, then straightened his spine, then slumped again.
He wasn’t saying it out loud, but she could see it clear as day. His body was preparing for the long sleep. He’d told her he would get tired at the end. No, not tired, exhausted, as if he’d taken tens of sleeping pills all at once. It would get worse and worse until he couldn’t stay awake anymore. Sometimes it happened slowly, but more often, it happened fast.
And they had to be back at the homestead before he fe
ll asleep for the winter.
As if Mother Nature had heard Elyse’s silent challenge, the clouds finally opened up. Snowflakes floated all around them, and there was a moment when Ian turned in his saddle and locked eyes with her. They were a somber blue that said so much with just a glance.
Winter’s here.
I can’t stay much longer.
We’ll be all right.
You’re ready for this.
Remember everything I taught you, always.
And last but most importantly, I love you.
He turned and kicked his horse, and Demon responded under him, trotting immediately. And by the time he got him into a run, she could feel it, too. Time was closing in on them.
Ian wasn’t turning back and letting her drive the cattle by herself. He wasn’t playing it safe—not while she was exposed to the werewolves out here.
Their horses ran on and on beside each other. And as the snow steadily blanketed the landscape around them, it was hard not to look at her mate. Time and time again, her gaze was drawn to him.
Beside her, Ian’s jaw clenched in determination to finish this last chore before the cold season swallowed him up completely.
Winter’s here.
I can’t stay much longer.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“Is Ian okay?” Josiah asked low, his horse swerving so close, he bumped Milo’s side.
“He’s just tired. He didn’t sleep much on the hunt or last night, and he’s been going for a while,” Elyse lied.
In fact, when they’d slept in the tent last night near the cattle, she’d had trouble waking him to head home this morning. He’d been so limp when she’d shaken him that, for a few minutes, she’d been terrified she wouldn’t be able to wake him at all.
Josiah didn’t need to be saddled with her burdens, though.
At the other side of the herd, Ian was listlessly riding after a stray heifer. He wasn’t even yelling and cussing as she and Josiah did when they wanted to get the cattle moving.