“Where are we, Ells?” Jessa looks around the room in confusion. She still seems weak, slouching into the sofa as if she doesn’t have the energy to make herself sit up straight.
“We are at Gavin’s cabin.” When she looks at me blankly, I explain.
“Gavin is my twin. I told you about him over the phone right before your accident.”
“That’s right,” she sighs. “Why am I so bloody tired?”
“You have been through a lot. I think it would better for Sebastian to explain everything to you though.”
She smiles a dreamy smile at the mention of Seb.
“Where is Sebastian? The last thing I remember is traveling with him to a safe house. He was going to teach me about what I am now.” She looks at me with a question in her eyes.
“Jessa, I know all about what you are. I’m not afraid of you, as I told you a minute ago. We have a lot of catching up to do.” I sit on the sofa and grasp her hand. I smile gently at her.
“I have missed you!” She still isn’t up to snuff. My snarky best friend is tired. She looks so drained by everything she has been through.
Jessa looks around the room in wonder, cataloging every bit of the mess she and Seb made during their confrontation. “Did I make this mess?”
“Yeah, but you were pretty pissed at the time. So it’s okay. I can clean it up in a snap,” I snap my fingers and send the books lying on the floor sailing back into their rightful places.
Jessa gasps. She looks at me and nods.
“Bitch, we do have a lot of catching up to do, but first answer a question for me. Is there a cunt by the name of Moira staying around here,” she is snarling and her fangs have pushed out by the end of her question.
“Moira’s dead,” I tell her frankly.
“What? How? She’s so fucking strong, Ells. You have to stay away from her. She almost killed me on more than one occasion.”
I have never seen Jessa whisper in fear. It is like she didn’t ever register what I just told her. Before I can explain further, Sebastian walks back through the front door. He is walking into the room slowly, as if he is preparing for the worst. His jaw literally drops when he sees Jessa sitting calmly on the sofa holding my hand. Jessa jumps a little in excitement when she notices Seb standing there. She looks at him with full-on eye contact. She seems to be waiting for him to make the first move.
Seb walks quickly across the room, stopping directly in front of us. The strong man drops to his knees and buries his face in Jessa’s lap. His shoulders start to shake with sobs as he wraps his arms around her waist.
I quickly extract myself from them and move across the room.
“I’m so...so very sorry, my dove. Please, tell me you forgive me,” Seb tells her in a choked whisper.
I quickly make for the door and let myself out of the room. After everything they have been through they deserve some alone time.
I quickly make my way up the stairs. The events of late are getting to me. I am starting to feel really worn down. It is like someone is taking sand paper and slowly rubbing away at everything that I thought I was. This new person that stares at me in the mirror each morning isn’t the person I once saw. In some ways I love the new me. She is stronger, bolder, and less inclined to take people’s shit. I can protect the people that I love, but at what cost? One day am I going to buckle and lose everything I once thought I wanted and loved?
Jessa is back in my life now. I have my sister back, but there is still so much up in the air. There is a war looming on the horizon. A war I am supposed to lead, prevent, or even win for the side of the light. I am only eighteen. Until two weeks ago I was just a regular girl. Sure, I’d had a shitty home life. My parents hated me, despised everything that I did, everything that made me the person that I was.
Now I have a destined mate, a Goddess for a mother, a vampire best friend, and lies that hide my new reality from the rest of my family. I know it is to keep them safe, but it galls me to lie to those closest to me, even if it does protect them from a fate that could be far worse than death.
I find Jaxx still in our room, rummaging around in his luggage looking for something to wear for the day. He has been my rock in the never ending storm. I am starting to doubt my path in this life of chaos. I know I am supposed to be stronger than this. On the outside someone might see me as some badass with super powers unlike anyone else, but inside I am still the same girl. Scared of being alone and left behind, even though he has been with me through everything that life has thrown at me these past weeks. There are still things about even him that I don’t know.
I can feel my eyes filling even as I watch the man that I am falling for fumble with a T-shirt. I want to wall up the tears that are going to start to fall at any moment. I want to lock them away and be the person everyone wants and expects me to be, but I can’t. I just want to lock myself away from the world, for just a few minutes, and wish for peace. So many wonderful things have come with this new life that was handed to me. I am looking at one of them right now.
Jaxx stiffens and I know that he can feel my turbulent emotions through our shared bond. He turns and looks at me with confusion in his eyes.
I walk over to our bed and sit on the corner.
“What has you so troubled, my Ella,” Jaxx asks as he slowly and cautiously moves closer to the bed. He kneels in front of me so that he can look directly into my eyes.
I shake my head in denial.
“Nothing and everything all at once. I feel like I can’t breathe with everything weighing down on me. I have been trying to handle everything. I really have.” I look at him with pleading eyes. “But sometimes this destiny that Fate has mapped out for me scares me shitless.”
“I would think that after everything anyone would be having such thoughts, but you can’t let them control you. I am here to help you through anything you need me to. You know this.”
“Do I?”
Jaxx rears back as if I have just struck him.
“No, wait! You don’t understand me. I was just a regular girl until a few weeks ago, a regular girl with a really fucked life, but still, a normal girl. Then I met this impossibly incredible person and he becomes everything to me in the blink of an eye. I feel secure in you. With you!” I reach out and grab his hands, letting him see that I am falling for him in my eyes, trying to ease the hurt look that haunts his eyes.
“But Jaxx, the things I’m trying to talk about are the little things, the little things that make life worth living. I don’t even know your favorite color.”
“Emerald. See easy,” Jaxx smirks at me.
I feel like slapping him. I am not in the mood to be placated.
“I know we are connected on a soul-deep level, Jaxx. I know that we were meant for each other since our births, but would you still care for me without the destined bond? Would you want to love me, the person, not just because we were fated for each other?” I can feel the tears gathering again. I don’t know why I am trying to pick at Jaxx. I am just feeling really insecure with everything that has happened and is supposed to be happening soon.
Jaxx abruptly pulls me up by my hands until we are standing toe to toe. He takes my face in his hands and looks deeply into my eyes. “I cherish every breath you take, every beat of your heart, the fact that you would rather die than let someone you care about be hurt physically or emotionally, that you have the capacity to love at all when you haven’t been shown it enough.” Jaxx presses his lips together and takes a shuddering breath.
I wipe the tears that have started streaming down my cheeks.
“I have walked this earth alone for more years than I care to remember. There was no color in my life. It was all in shades of grey. I wandered from place to place with no home to call my own. I never really connected to anyone on any level beyond friendship. I didn’t know what living was until I saw your eyes light with a fire that should have been snuffed out years ago.” Jaxx slams his mouth down on mine in a fiercely passionate kiss. When he
pulls away I am breathless and humbled by the man standing before me baring his soul.
“I might not know every single thing about you, but what I do know is that I love you with every ounce of my soul.”
This is the first time that he has come out and said it. Even though I can feel his feelings growing.
I just nod, agreeing with that feeling. It is precisely the same for me.
“I know. I feel the same way. I just wanted to know that you would love me with or without the fate bond.” As I speak Jaxx backs me toward the far side of the room. I feel a bare wall against my back.
“I would love you without it,” I tell him in stark honesty. Baring my soul to the man that I plan to send eternity with.
He stops and takes a shuddering breathe.
“Fuck me,” he whispers to himself with such feeling. “I thought I would never hear those words slip from those beautiful lips of yours.”
Jaxx nuzzles his face into my neck and presses his body into mine.
“Feel me. Search me through the link that you have planted. Feel the love that I have for you. My love for you consumes me,” Jaxx grounds out.
“I burn for you, little raven. You consume me. My every thought is of you. For you.”
“I was born for you, little raven. I started living the day I looked into your impassioned eyes. I will draw my last breath when you breathe your last.”
I wrap myself around him like a human pretzel, praying to whatever God or Goddess that is listening that they will grant me this one prayer, to never separate us. To let us forever be tethered to one another. Body. Heart. Soul.
The air seems to still in the room. Not even a stray breeze is blowing. The world seems to hold its breath as if something profound has just come into being.
“Forever,” we both whisper at the same moment, knowing that we are forever tied. Soul deep. Beyond what a fated pair is meant to be tethered. Neither of us has any regrets.
Chapter 19.
I leave Jaxx alone in the shower and decide to go out for a walk since the sun is just now setting. It is truly beautiful out here at night. I am going to have to thank Gavin for having us here. Maybe do something special for him. I have been so cooped up lately that I haven’t really spent a lot of time outdoors on my own. I have missed taking quiet walks. Just being alone and absorbing my surroundings. I find a trail that winds around the house through the woods.
Before long I am lost in my own thoughts. Not really thinking about anything, just wandering aimlessly, enjoying the silence. I look over my shoulder and realize I have been walking longer than I thought. I can no longer see the house through the trees. The sun has set and darkness has fallen.
Shit! I hope I don’t get lost out here, I think to myself, deciding to turn around and make my way back before it gets any darker out.
A month ago I would have kept exploring, but now… Monsters are the real deal in my world. I would rather not face one alone and in the dead of night. I turn back the way I came and start to walk quickly. I don’t even take more than a couple of steps before I hear a branch break behind me. I turn back around to scan the trail and the trees surrounding me. I don’t see anything or anyone lurking.
“Is someone out there,” I shout out.
“Gavin, if this is you fucking with me I’m going to kick your ass!”
No one answers me.
The hairs on the back of my neck rise. I can hear footsteps in the distance so I start to move faster. When I can feel the person stalking me getting closer I break into a dead run. I must have gotten turned around again because if I was going in the right direction I would have reached the clearing that we’d trained in earlier.
“Little bird! Little bird! Where are you,” someone sneers from behind me.
Holy shit. I know that voice.
It is the one from the nightmares I have been having lately. The blood dripping off the huge knife. The briar maze of thorns. Damn it! Those things are supposed to stay in my subconscious. Who would be able to find me here? Gavin said that this place is private. That he had kept it secret from everyone!
As I run, the trail gets less and less visible and the forest seems to grow thicker and darker. I have no idea where I am. The person tracking me seems to be right on my feet one minute and nowhere near me the next.
“I can see you, little bird. Hear your heart fluttering so deliciously,” the person tauntingly whispers to me right in my ear.
I turn around and scream, only to find no one there. FUCK THIS!
“Where are you? Come out and face me,” I scream into the trees surrounding me.
Silence.
“You aren’t scared of this little bird are you? I thought you found me…What is the word you used? Delicious?” I hear someone step from the brush. I turn to the right and not ten feet from me stands Sabrina.
What the hell?
“Sabrina,” I ask dumbly.
“Now why would you get so lucky,” the thing in front of me wearing Sabrina’s face sneers.
“Why do you look so much like her then,” I snark back.
“You really don’t know, do you? Are you really that new,” the thing giggles like a hyena. A full blown shrill, cover your ears before they burst and bleed laugh. The thing’s mouth is open so wide I can see row after row of razor sharp teeth.
“What the fuck are you,” I shout with my face screwed up in disgust. I am starting to get nervous. I don’t like to be blindsided. Sebastian’s little green book doesn’t have anything like this thing in it. Yet here it is. Standing in front of me.
The thing doesn’t answer me, but what he does do is so much worse. Scarily worse. He simply snaps his fingers and I fall to my knees, frozen in horror, staring up at Sabrina’s twisted face. I try to pull myself to my feet, but it is useless.
“To answer your question, I’m Sabrina. I took over this lovely shell a long while ago. Feeding off the greed and vain lust of human youth is just yummy,” the thing giggles again. “But you are correct to be scared, little bird. I’m not some little tick that you can make implode. I’m so very much more than that.” He snaps Sabrina’s fingers again and I am once again on my feet.
My body is completely frozen. Stiff from head to toe, held by the creature’s vile magic. I feel it on my skin like a million ants eating away at me. I try to open my mouth to ask another question, but I am struck mute as well. I am a flipping puppet.
“Would you like to say something?” He holds Sabrina’s hand up to her ear as if he can’t hear a word that I haven’t been able to speak.
I try in vain to look around, searching for something or someone to help me.
“You are out of luck there, princess,” he sneers in Sabrina’s voice.
“We are locked up tight. No one to hear your lovely screams. I so don’t like to be interrupted when I feed.” It smiles a grotesque smile at me.
“You should have left well enough alone,” he says almost absently as he walks in a circle around my prone body.
“I almost liked you when you were a normal sniveling human, but you had to turn out to be the daughter of a Goddess.” He throws Sabrina’s hands up in the air and stomps her foot like a toddler in a tantrum.
As if by simply evoking the thought of my mother, I start to hear whispers in the back of my mind. Somehow my mother’s book and the magic it holds had broken through Sabrina’s shield. Or whatever she had blocking out everything.
“You are stronger than it is,” the book whispers to me.
“Stand completely still. Don’t move a muscle and will the paralyses away. It will simply fall away. Then fight.”
“How do I fight something so foreign to me,” I silently ask the book.
“Shield yourself from his power then boil him from the inside out. Simply think of what you want to be. It will be.”
Then there is nothing but silence in my head once more. Thank the Goddess (literally) for her gift. While I had been getting advice on how to get out of this shit alive, the c
reature had kept up its circling as if sizing me up for a meal. Which, come to think about it, it might be doing just that. It is still speaking.
“When I tried to take out your little friend, no one even tried to retaliate against me. I was spoiling for a fight,” he pouted at me. “You just had to make me come and find you,” he giggles. “But don’t worry. I have a very special surprise for you, little bird.” She claps her hands together and hops on her toes as if the news should make me happy.
I concentrate on stopping my external and mental struggles. I will the numbness away and I start to get the feeling back in my limbs.
“Aren’t you even curious about the surprise I have brought you,” she sneers at me. “Oh!” Giggle. “Silly me! You can’t speak or move. Oh poo! I so wanted to see the look on your face.” The creature is back to using Sabrina’s voice. He keeps switching back and forth, like he doesn’t even notice himself doing it.
I am still struggling not to move or think besides willing his magic away. More of myself is coming back to me, but it is happening so damn slowly!
The creature stops circling me and comes to stand face to face with me. He waves a well-manicured hand and I can see something or someone lying on the ground a little to the right, not far from where I am still partially frozen, but out of my line of vision.
“Still no reaction,” he sneers again in Sabrina’s voice. “Why don’t I just bring him a little closer? I am sure I will get the reaction I want then.” He smiles sweetly at me as he walks away. I hear a muffled male moan of pain. Then the sound of someone dragging something heavily across the leaf-covered ground.
Who he shoves in front of me strikes terror to my very core. The creature has Devon. My fun loving, beautiful friend is covered in blood and grime. His once bright blonde hair is matted to the side of his head. He has bite marks all over his face and neck. That is the only part of him that I can currently see. I shudder. I don’t want to see what the rest of him looks like. I cry out in anguish inside my mind as the creature with Sabrina’s face leans in close to him and runs his forked tongue across Devon’s cheek.
The Awakening: A Witch-Vampire Romance: Feel the Heat. Page 20