by J. M. Witt
“I should get back upstairs. Thank you for coming down here. You should go home and get some rest. Don’t you have to work in the morning?”
“I do. I couldn’t sleep until I made things right with you.”
I walked her to the elevator and gave her another quick kiss before swatting her ass as she walked into the elevator.
“I’ll see you when you get home from work Officer Charles.”
“Bet your ass you will.” I winked at her just before the doors to the elevator closed.
~<>~<>~<>~
The next day, after work, I stopped in at jewelry store that I’d heard other guys on the force talk about. Walking in, not sure where to look first, I walked along the cases. When I came to the engagement rings I was overcome with dread. There were so many different rings.
“Looking for anything in particular?”
I looked up to see a well-dressed man smiling at me. He was probably close to my age. “Engagement ring, I didn’t realize there would be so many.”
“Well, why don’t you sit down and we can discuss the basics.” I looked at him skeptically. “No pressure, sir. We start with the basics it may help narrow down what you’re looking for. Did you have a budget in mind?”
“No. I haven’t gotten that far yet.” I followed him to a table where we sat on opposite sides. He pulled out a pamphlet and began describing the four C’s. It wasn’t long before I was overwhelmed. Jane didn’t wear much jewelry, a pearl necklace the only piece I saw her wear more than once. The only thing I knew was that I liked white gold and hoped she did too.
After looking at over two dozen rings I kept going back one ring in particular. “Can I see that one again?” I pointed at the ring, but he already knew which one. I examined it again.
“It’s a lovely ring.”
“This is it.”
“Great choice. She’ll love it.” I felt like I was going to hurl. “Do you know her ring size?”
“Shit.”
“It’s ok. We size the rings here in the store. Just come back and we’ll take care of it. Should only be a day or so.”
We walked to the register and began the process of pricing and all the other crap that went with it. I wasn’t sure when or how I was going to do it, but I had a thought. The salesman handed me a bag, but I but the little box in my pocket to keep it close. She was my world and I would prove it to her.
Our family Christmas party was tomorrow. Everyone would be there; Dad and Lisa, James and Cass, his parents, Jane’s parents and of course Jane and I. I was looking forward to seeing everyone and shouting to the world that I wanted Jane to be mine.
I walked in the door to find Jane making dinner. She smiled brightly at me as she fumbled around with a few more things in the kitchen. I noted she was wearing her scrubs.
“I thought you were off tonight?”
“I was supposed to, but one of the girls asked if I would switch and she’d cover my shift Sunday night. I hope you don’t mind.”
“It’s ok. I have some gift wrapping to finish, but I’ll miss you.”
“Well, stay up late and I’ll crawl into bed with you when I get home.” She smiled at me suggestively and I loved her for it.
“You got a deal. I’m going to go change real quick.” She nodded as I ran upstairs and put the ring box in my underwear drawer for now.
Chapter Twenty Four
~ JANE ~
It was late morning on the day of the party at Aunt Eva and Uncle Jackson’s. Cal was loading all the gifts into his truck. I was saving the photos, and a few other items, for him to open Christmas morning and I couldn’t wait to see his face! My cell phone started vibrating in my pocket and I knew before looking at it that it was him. I pulled it out and my eyes caught sight of the date and my heart faltered. Today would have been my due date. I looked at the missed call and deleted it from my history.
I was beginning to wonder if it was him across the street the night we got the Christmas tree. Becky had emailed a week ago to say she hadn’t heard any more from him. The relief I felt after getting her email began to change to dread. What if he was back in town? Why would he come back?
“You ready?” Cal was standing in the doorway looking delicious. He had on dark denim jeans that clung to his ass perfectly along with a blue sweater than made his eyes pop.
“Yes. I’ll follow you. I need to stop quickly and pick up one last gift. Let’s go! I can’t wait to see what you got me!” I winked at him after kissing him quickly.
“I already told you, I didn’t get you anything. You said you didn’t want anything. Ask and you shall receive.” He was grinning like a fool and I knew he was full of shit. “We can stop together. It’s no trouble.”
“Yes it is. It’s for you. I’ll be right behind you.” He conceded and we left in our separate vehicles. I swung into a corner store and ran in and got a card to put some of his gift cards in, chastising myself that I forgot the card when I was at the store a few days prior.
Cal waited for me in the drive and we were unloading our gifts when James and Cassidy pulled up, my parents and Cal’s were already here. We all walked inside checking out the different boxes we all carried to try to gauge who got what. Calvin took the gifts from me and went to place them under the tree as James walked over to me as I rejected another call from Derek and put my phone on mute.
“You doing ok? You seem nervous. Who’s calling?”
“Me, no I’m fine. Just a recruiter I can’t get to leave me alone. I need to pull my resume from their job site.” I smiled brightly as I hoped he bought my lie. “What about you? How you doing? Your mom seems to be in good spirits.”
“Yes, she’s doing ok.” His expression changed then. I shouldn’t have brought up Aunt Eva.
“I’m sorry, James.”
“It’s alright. I want to focus on happy times today.”
Cal joined us then, asking if everything was ok. “Yes, today is a happy day!”
I left Cal and James to chat to go find Cassidy. She was in the family room staring out the patio doors. “Hey, you ok?”
She looked to me and I knew that she was upset. The girl wore her feelings all over her face. “I made a mistake. I’m an idiot.”
“What are you talking about? You’re not an idiot.”
She sighed and said, “After finding out that you two moved in together, I may have ‘suggested’ to James that he should move in with me.” She ran her fingers through her hair before continuing. “He didn’t take that very well. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“You were thinking that you love him and want to spend every waking moment with him.” I rubbed her back saying, “He loves you. Give him time. He’s very used to his independence.” She smiled at me and then James walked in to tell us lunch was ready.
We made it to the dining room and there was a huge feast waiting! Turkey, ham, casseroles and way too much of everything else was spread across the table. We all sat down and my Dad was at one end and Uncle Jackson at the other. Cal’s Dad and Lisa were next to him, with my mom across from me, James and Cassidy in the middle, with Eva across from Lisa.
It was only a matter of time before the taunting from our parents began. Cal and Cassidy became quite familiar with it at her birthday lunch back in November.
“So, who’s going to pop the question first?” Here we go. Uncle Jackson won the prize for being the initial instigator.
My Dad was amused and Cal was choking on his water. His Dad began smacking his back and then said, “I’m guessing it’s not going to be my boy.”
A light chuckle spread across the table. “This one here is getting long in the tooth. Cal can come on home with me if Janey isn’t up for more than a test drive.” Oh.My.God. Leave it to my mother. My dad, who would normally play along, was giving my mother the stink eye as everyone else was cracking up, besides Cal and I.
“Mother, that’s disgusting. And he’s spoken for, so back off. You had your chance at the auction.” The snicke
rs continued.
“Um, if I’m not mistaken, I spent all my money that night on James.”
“Um, if I’m not mistaken, the money you spent that night was mine.” James chimed in to set the record straight.
“Details, blah, blah, blah. Cal, you just call me and I’ll take care of you.” She winked as I rolled my eyes in disgust.
“Sure thing, Beverly.”
“Cal, don’t encourage her.” I elbowed him in the side.
“So James, when’s the wedding?” And it continued.
“Dad, knock it off. It’s not funny.”
“It’s ok James, we’ve all heard the rumors that you’re a little gun-shy. Cal and Jane are already living together. What are you waiting for?” Now my mom was pushing it.
James didn’t respond and when I looked to Cassidy she looked like she was on the verge of tears. She made eye contact with me and I mouthed ‘sorry’ at her. She just shook her head, put her fork and napkin down and asked to be excused. James wasn’t far behind her.
Once they left the room I ripped into mother. “Nice job.”
“I’m sorry. I was just teasing them. I didn’t realize it would upset her.”
“Clearly not.”
When they didn’t return right away, nobody seemed to notice but me. They eventually returned and either had a major blowup or a major make-up session. They both appeared out of sorts. My mother apologized and we all got back to finishing our meal.
After lunch we made our way to the family room to begin opening presents after James, Cassidy, Cal and I helped clear all the dishes to the kitchen. I checked my phone again and saw several missed calls again from Derek. It was time for a new number and I wasn’t looking forward to explaining that. I put my phone on the counter and left it there.
Everyone was having a great time. Cal said he liked the clothes I got him. I also got him some concert tickets to see Kip Moore. I had noticed when I was fiddling with his iPod, adding my playlist for him to it, he had Kip selected to play. I took a mental note to look at upcoming concerts and Kip was coming soon, so I got Cal tickets. Cal had given me some gift certificates, so had everyone else, for some of my favorite clothing stores to add to my wardrobe. Cal was probably sick of hearing me complain about my lack of wardrobe and now I had some shopping to do.
“Alright, I think that’s everything.” Jackson was bagging up some of the stray paper as everyone was looking over their gifts and chatting.
Cal stood up then and asked for everyone’s attention. I was smiling and looked up to him as he said, “I wanted to wait until Christmas, but with everyone we love here, together, I couldn’t wait.” Oh, no.
I caught my mother as she snatched my dad’s hand and covered her mouth with the other. Cassidy and James were both dumbstruck. Please tell me he wasn’t doing this. Not today.
“Jane, I know it’s only been a short time, but when you know you know.” He had offered his hand to me and I stupidly took it as he pulled me to my feet, in front of everyone. “I love you. No regrets.”
The room began to spin. Oh, God. I wasn’t ready for this. For a split second I know knew why Cal started choking on his drink at lunch after Jackson’s comment. I could feel myself getting overheated as I watched him kneel down in front of me.
He pulled a box out of his pocket and opened it up before taking my left hand in his right. “Jane Evalynn Whitford, will you make me the happiest man and marry me?”
At that moment I felt like a fool for not trusting him with my secrets. I had to tell him, he had a right to know. I couldn’t say yes, not like this with so many things still hidden between us.
“Calvin, what are you doing?” I tried to whisper, but we were all so close together that I’m sure everyone heard. “Cal, please, not here. We have to talk.”
The room was still spinning as I closed my eyes, willing it to cease. When I opened them again Cal was still kneeling, looking at me in confusion. There was some movement happening around me and when I looked around I saw everyone leaving the room to give us some privacy.
Chapter Twenty Five
~ JANE ~
I turned back to Cal and he was now standing. “I don’t understand. What do we have to talk about? We love each other.”
“Cal, please, I need to talk to you about Derek.” Was I really going to tell him everything?
“What about Derek?” I could tell by the look on his face that he misunderstood. “Is he back, what’s going on?”
“NO. That’s not what I meant. I can’t marry you when there are still so many things you don’t know.”
“I told you it doesn’t matter. I don’t need to know what happened. I love you, no matter what happened.”
I reached for him, but he pulled away. “It does matter. Can’t we talk about this later, at home?”
He was wounded. I’d rejected him in front of our families. I had no idea he was thinking about marriage already. I mean maybe I should’ve figured it out. This was entirely my fault. He had turned his back to me and when I walked around to face him, there were tears in his eyes. My heart snapped at the sight of it. I tried to touch him but he brushed me off.
“No. It’s cool. I get it.” He didn’t get it. “I need some air.” He walked out the French doors that led to the patio and shut the door behind him.
Collapsing on the couch, I buried my head in my hands and tried to get my breathing under control. My chest was so tight that it hurt to breathe. The couch dipped next to me and I heard James ask if I was ok.
“I just tore out his heart. He doesn’t understand. There are things I haven’t told anyone, not even him, which he needs to know.”
“What things?”
“Things that happened with Derek and the real reasons I came home. Stop looking at me like that. I can’t believe he proposed.”
“You didn’t have any idea?”
I shook my head as the anxiety of what I’d done and what I had to tell Calvin took over. “I have to get out of here.”
“Jane?”
“Please, James. Please make sure he’s ok. I just need to be alone. I need to figure out some things. Please.”
“Ok. I’ll go talk to him. Please drive safe.”
“I will.” When I stood up to leave I saw Cassidy slipping out the same French doors, I’m sure she was in search of Calvin. I made my way to the foyer and the front door. I heard my mom calling after me, but just waved her off as I bellowed, “Not now.”
I got in my car and began driving aimlessly for close to an hour as the tears poured down my cheeks. How was I going to tell him? The silence was killing me so I cranked the radio. I was sitting in a parking lot, a mile from my parents’ house, the windows fogged up as the tears finally stopped. Say Something by A Great Big World began playing and I lost it all over again.
When I was done sobbing like a mental case, I began driving to my parents’ house. It was right around the corner and I needed to clean myself up before I headed back to the party. I only prayed Cal was still there when I got back.
He was it for me. I had to tell him about my past, everything, before we could move forward. I couldn’t believe I ruined his proposal. I wanted to say yes, I could’ve said yes. I knew he didn’t care about my past. He loved me regardless, but he had to know. I had to fix this and I prayed it wasn’t too late as I ran up the steps to my parent’s house.
I had fixed my makeup as best I could in the hallway bathroom when I heard a knock on the door. Cal! I rushed to the door, expecting to find Cal standing there. He probably left right after me, and when he didn’t find me at his place, figured I’d be here. I opened the door and my stomach flipped. I couldn’t be alone with him, it wasn’t safe. Trying desperately to shut the door, his strength outweighed mine as he forced it open.
“Derek, get out of here.” That was the last thing I remember.
~ CALVIN ~
What had I done? I was an idiot for proposing the way I did. I just couldn’t hold it in any longer. Instead of he
r saying yes, she’d ultimately run off on me and her family. Here we were, celebrating the Holidays, and I had ruined it. I was back inside, checking my phone every thirty seconds.
Her mom and dad had assured me she just needed some space and that everything would be fine. After that, they said their goodbyes since they had a plane to catch. James and Cassidy were standing by a window talking quietly as Lisa and dad joined them. James’ parents were sitting on the couch by the fireplace while I was sitting in a chair in the corner with my head resting on my propped up hands. I had to fix this.
I stood up abruptly as James made his way over to me. “Just save it. I screwed up, I know. It was too much, too fast.”
James put his hands up in defense, “Chill out. Jane just doesn’t like being the focus of everyone’s attention. She also told me there are things that happened with Derek that she wants to discuss with you. She loves you. She said she’d be back. Have you tried calling her?”
“Yeah. She’s not answering.” I dug my hand in my pocket and pulled my cell out again. I checked, hoping somehow I’d missed her call, but there was still no response to my texts or calls.
Jane had fled over two hours ago. It made for a very uncomfortable family celebration. Everyone said to just give her some space and that if she said she’d come back, she’d come back. I was beginning to doubt that. Maybe Derek really was back in the picture and this was her way of telling me. I needed to see her, but I didn’t even know where she went.
Then it dawned on me that she could very well be at home, our home, packing her bags. FUCK! I had to go find her. She’d just moved in a few weeks ago and I’d probably just blown it with my inability to be patient. I just couldn’t wait to shout it to the world. She was what I wanted and nobody was going to get in the way of that. I had seen too much horrible shit in my time. Between the Army and the squad; life was too short to not grab on to the ones you love and hold on tight. Paul had helped me realize that.
“Cal? Where are you going?” Cassidy tried to stop me from leaving.