I buried my face against the palm of my free hand. “I loved him, Angel.”
“I know.”
“The worse thing is he has the nerve to act like I’m the one who did something wrong. Like my very presence here in the States is a personal attack on him.”
“Look, you know if you want to come home, I’ll be there to support you every step of the way.”
“But?” I knew it was coming, I could hear it clearly in her tone.
“But . . .” The smile was evident in her voice as I called her but out. “It won’t help you get any closure. If you want my opinion—”
“And even if I don’t,” I said with a laugh. I knew her too well.
She chuckled in response. “That’s right. If you want my opinion, I think you should do what Phoebe Reede does best.”
“Which is?”
“Don’t lose yourself. Remember the reason you took the trip to the US last year in the first place.”
“Okay. And?”
“Talk it out with him.”
“I can’t do that. Every time I’m near him, I just want to make him take me on the spot even though he hurt me so much. That’s hardly a proper basis for a conversation.”
“Then wait until you can talk to him, and in the meantime—take it to the track. Hit him where it hurts. Show him what he gets for messing with you. He might have got the pussy, but you can get the trophy. You can run rings around most of the guys here at home. I’m confident it won’t be any different there.”
I sat up a little straighter. “You’re right.”
“I’m always right. What better way to show him that you’re not to be trifled with. Maybe with the confidence of a few wins behind you, you’ll be able to give him a piece of your mind without being tempted to jump his bones.”
The resolve grew in me. It wouldn’t just show Beau, it would let me prove myself to everyone. “I’ll show them all I’m not just some pretty-faced princess, whose Daddy bought her way onto the track,” I said, thinking of the revenge I’d be able to get the first time I brought home a trophy. “I’m Phoebe Fucking Reede.”
“There’s the kick-arse chick I know and love.”
“Thank you, Angel.”
“Anytime, doll. Now did you still want me to come over?”
“Yeah. I mean, if you can find time in the schedule. Maybe over Christmas?”
“You’re not coming home for Christmas?”
“How can I? If I come home, even if it’s just for Christmas Day, there’s no way I’ll get back on the plane to come back to this hellhole.”
She hummed. “If it’s that bad, maybe you should come home?”
“No. You’re right. I need to do this. I just, I need you too. You can come for moral support and coaching. I can get Dad to put it on the company dime that way.”
“Okay, I’ll work out the details with Audrey.”
“Great.”
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay until I can get there?”
I shifted on the cold seat. “Yeah. I’m sure. I mean, I can’t wait to wrap my arms around you, but I’ll be fine until I can.”
“If you still need cheering up, maybe we can try for our one night together when I get there.”
A smile crossed my lips. I was right about one thing. Talking to her was exactly the right choice to re-centre myself. “Maybe a night of fireworks with you is exactly what I need.”
“You’d forget all about your troubles,” she teased.
“I bet I would.” I chuckled. I wanted to talk with her all night, but I couldn’t. Realising I really did have an obligation to be back inside, I sighed. “I should probably head back in before they send out a search party.”
“Okay, girlie. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
I hung up the phone with a smile on my face. Angel might have been flighty, flirty, and a little bit odd, but fuck if she wasn’t good for my soul. I turned around to head back into the party, and met Beau’s chocolate and amber eyes. The chill in his gaze was colder even than the night air. With the dark mask, he looked positively murderous. Yet all that cold, steely glare did was set fire to my libido.
“Beau? W-what are you doing out here?”
He sneered at me. “Nothin’.”
“I just needed to call home,” I said, holding up my phone as evidence. Why I felt like I had to explain anything to him, I had no idea, but it came tumbling out regardless.
“I’ll bet ya did,” he muttered before sighing. “They’ve started dinner,” he said a little louder before wheeling around on his heel and stalking back into the function. Even though things had been tense between us inside, something more filled the air between us now.
A shudder ran through me.
I wanted to demand to know what it was, but I needed to be done with him. Done with his games. With his voice. With the hold he had over me without even trying.
Steeling myself for what was sure to be an interesting dinner, I headed back inside.
WITH MY HEART in my throat, I looked for my nameplate on the tables set up around the room. It was a little easier to find than it might have otherwise been because most of the guests were already seated. I was thankful when I saw Beau’s table was full. At least until I caught sight of him with his head buried against Cassidee’s neck. She had her arm around his shoulders and when she caught the direction of my gaze, she gave me a look that very clearly wished me death—or at least an extreme case of diarrhoea.
When I was able to finally tear my eyes away from the pair, I moved to the table on the opposite side of the room—working on the assumption that our two sister teams were set up along either side of the hall. It was an assumption that paid off when I saw my name plate on the table opposite Beau.
The only problem was that my seat was literally directly across the room from Beau. As I took my place, I felt the weight of his stare resting heavily on my shoulders. Glancing up, I made eye contact and he frowned at me. Something I was sure would happen over and over during the dinner. Fuck my life.
“So what happened between you two anyway?” It was the old guy I’d been talking to earlier.
“What do you mean?” I tried to play innocent.
“Well, he’s been shooting you daggers all night, and you haven’t been able to tear your eyes off him.”
Was I really that obvious? “We, uh, we dated for a little while.”
“Really? But Beau’s been with Cass for a few years now, I thought.”
Even as I nodded, I found my gaze back on Beau. “Yeah. Hence the problem.”
My neighbour glanced over at Beau and then back at me. “Oh, so you’re the bit on the side and you wanted to be the main.”
The way he said it, so casually, made me think it wasn’t the first time it’d happened. Why doesn’t that surprise me? I played with the napkin in front of me. How could I have been so stupid?
“Don’t worry, you’re not the first person to be fooled in such a way,” the guy said, as if that was supposed to make it better.
I glanced down at his nameplate, which just read Bee. It took a second to connect the dots. “Wait, you’re Xavier’s stepdad, aren’t you?” It was too small a world for there to be two Bees so close together.
He seemed a little surprised at my words. “You met Xavier already?”
“Yeah, but not at work. I bought the Honda. You and I spoke on the phone before I left Australia.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed something down. A frown rested heavy on his brow. A second later, the dark had passed and he smiled at me again. “Heh, well, that purchase was your mistake. I don’t give refunds or warranties.”
I laughed. “Don’t worry. I’m happy with my purchase. For now, at least.”
He nodded in thought. “Now that I think about it, Xavier did mention someone from his work bought it, but the way he spoke, I thought they were going to do their own repairs.”
I held up my hands in mock surrender. “Guilty.”
He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. “You really are your father’s daughter, aren’t you?” he muttered. At least, that’s what it sounded like he said.
“I thought you said you didn’t know Dad.”
“Of course not, how could I? But the story of him taking an apprentice job over a place on the track was well known before I left Australia.”
There was something that didn’t quite add up, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. “You said you were at Bathurst. Were you just in the crowd?”
Another shadow passed over his features. “Not quite,” he said, but didn’t elaborate. “So, why’d you decide to head stateside?”
My gaze found Beau, not that I was going to admit he was the reason. “I’ll be taking on one of the ProV8s at Emmanuel Racing at the end of next year when Steve Parkins retires, so this is kinda like my gap year I guess.”
He chuckled. “Most people backpack across Europe screwing as many people as they can during their gap year.”
“I’m not most people. Is your shop one of the sponsors of Richards Racing?”
“Not officially. I’m more family.” He nodded to Beau’s table, where Mr Richards was sitting. “My wife, Cora, is Dale’s sister.”
I nodded, keeping my mouth shut on the subject of nepotism in regards to Xavier having a position at Richards Racing. I knew well enough that things weren’t always as cut and dried as they might have appeared.
“Between you and me, this deal with your parents isn’t the first time he’s had to be bailed out of a mess. He’s not exactly a savvy businessman.” There was a secretive smile on Bee’s face. “Last time, he turned to family. Still, it was a decent investment for a while and I had a bit of fun racing for him years ago.”
“You race?” The fit of the suit made more sense. I wondered if a costume party was a chance for nostalgia.
“Nothing big, and not for years now.” He rolled his wrist, twisting his hand back and forth. “I’ve got an old injury that stops me, and I’m a few years past useful these days anyway.”
I wasn’t sure if he was fishing for a compliment, or how he expected me to respond, so an awkward pause passed between us. Thankfully, the food arrived a moment later, meaning I had a reason to leave the statement hanging between us.
After the food, the music started. Country song after country song played over the speakers, assaulting me with memories that stole my breath and set me back on the verge of tears. My gaze found its way back to Beau’s table more times than was appropriate or comfortable. Each time it did, I either met Beau’s stare or caught him deep in a private conversation with Cassidee.
At one point, he’d taken his hat off and was running his hands through his hair. Fantasies of me doing the same thing while he made love to me wearing only that mask filled my mind. My breath grew choppy as I clenched my thighs. As if he realised he was the star of a fantasy playing in my mind, Beau’s eyes found mine again. I swallowed hard and dropped my gaze.
The night was fast becoming everything I’d dreaded and more.
Eventually, the deejay worked his magic and over half the room got up to dance. I watched as Cassidee stood and reached for Beau’s arm. He shook his head and laughed as she tried to cajole him onto the dance floor. With a smile and laugh, he resisted her every attempt until his eyes met mine. Then he was on his feet in seconds and flipping his cowboy hat back onto his head. His hand immediately found the base of her spine in an all-too-familiar protective position as he led her to the dance floor. My own skin tingled in response to the memory of the weight of the intimate touch.
While I watched, he slipped his arm around her waist and whispered in her ear. With precise movements that proved how in-tune they were with each other, they glided between the other couples. The only distance between them was the space Cassidee’s baby bump needed. He rested his forehead against hers as they swayed in time to the beat.
“You know you don’t get points for staring,” Bee said to me. “That’s just giving him what he wants.”
I sighed. “You’re probably right. I just . . . I can’t help it,” I admitted.
Bee’s hand came down in front of my face. “Allow an old man to distract you for a while.”
I thought about refusing, but could feel the weight of Beau’s eyes on me. Fuck him. If he thought it was acceptable to parade Cassidee around like a prize in front of me, why shouldn’t I have some fun too? Even if that fun was in the form of a man over twice my age.
Bee was actually a pretty adept dancer. Far more than I was, in fact. Mostly because I was used to the club-style dancing Angel and I usually did, which consisted of little more than wiggling around with our hands in the air. Or the school dance slow shuffle—hands on necks and around waists, swaying in time with the beat like Cassidee and Beau. Bee was more of a rock ’n’ roll dancer, never standing still. His feet moved constantly as he swivelled his hips and tapped his toes. His hands grabbed mine, twisting me back and forth in a series of spins and dips. Despite everything, I found myself having a good time dancing in a sea of gypsies, pirates, cowboys, and a variety of stylised animals. Actual laughter left me as he flung me around in a circle again and the wire in my wings fluttered around us.
After a few songs, he tapped out to find a seat and recover. Because the deejay had moved on to something with a beat closer to what I was used to, I hung out on the dance floor. A few of the younger people who worked for the sponsors came and mingled for a while, sharing a song or two of shouted conversation. It gave me hope that the evening was at least salvageable.
A little while later, Jase sidled up to me while I was dancing. Although I’d seen him from a distance a few times during the night, nothing could prepare me for an up close and personal view of the piggish man in an Elvis-inspired rhinestone-encrusted white jumpsuit. He had a swagger that suggested he thought he was all that and a bag of chips, but the reality came closer to a sad Elvis impersonator who’d given up on caring.
The way his gaze travelled my body made me wish I had a jacket or something over my shoulders so I could pull it closed to cover myself. Instead, I just stopped jumping and dancing and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Wow, sweetheart, you sure look nice when you’re gussied up.” He grabbed at my hips as if he was going to dance with me. I stepped away instantly.
“Uh, thank you.” But no thank you.
Every step I retreated, he followed. “I think we got off on the wrong foot the other day. It was just some light-hearted joking. None of the boys would have minded.”
“I’m sure you don’t subject any of the boys to that style of joking.”
“Maybe not exactly those words, but”—he reached out and stroked his hand over my cheek—“they ain’t as pretty as you are either. There’s only so much self-control a man can have when a beautiful woman walks into his office.”
When I pulled away from him, his fingers trailed through the curls of hair that framed my face. “Well, perhaps you can try for a little more than you’ve shown so far,” I said.
He stepped closer to me and wrapped one arm around my waist. I tried to pull away as his lips brushed my cheek. “I think we both know that you like to have a little fun. Maybe one day, we can have a little fun together.”
Deciding I needed to fight fire with fire, I wrapped one arm around his neck and moved my lips close to his ear. “If I ever decide to lower my standards that much, you’ll be the very first to know.”
During his moment of surprise, I yanked out of his hold and shoved him away from me.
A hand closed around my wrist and I was tugged away from the dance floor. Despite fighting against the hold, I found myself pinned into an alcove a second later. The wings on my back were splayed against the wall, the wire in the middle poking into my spine.
“What the heck d’ya think you’re doin’, darlin’?” Beau’s eyes were practically spitting fire as he boxed me in against the wall. His mouth was inches from mine, his breath choppy and har
sh.
Despite the fact that he’d effectively rescued me from Jase’s unwanted attention, I couldn’t find a thank you in me. “We’ve been over this, Beau. It’s none of your fucking business. Not anymore.”
“Are ya tryin’ ta find someone else to have a bit of fun with?”
“Excuse me?”
“I saw ya with Jase just now. And I saw ya dancin’ with Bee earlier.”
“And I saw you dancing with your baby mama. What’s your point?”
He narrowed his eyes, and I could have sworn a growl left his throat. “Ya know why they call him Bee, don’t ya?”
“Do I look like I care?”
“It’s ’cause he’s got a sting in his tail, darlin’. The rumours ’bout him ain’t pretty, and I’m worried that his stinger is pointed right at you.”
“Fuck off, Beau.”
His voice was softer when he continued, “I’m just tryin’ ta watch out for ya.”
His concern for me came as something of a surprise. I was about to respond, when he closed his eyes, sighed, and kept talking.
“Someone’s gotta.” He sneered as he opened his eyes again. “After all, despite everythin’ ya did last time you were here, you’re still just a naive teen.”
I set my jaw and fought off my tears as he revealed his true thoughts about me. “There’s nothing naive about me. And I bet you’re wrong about Bee too. He’s harmless.”
Beau scoffed. “Yeah, right.”
“Well, out of everyone I’ve met, he’s one of only a handful who’ve even bothered to try to be nice.”
Beau’s lips twisted into a mocking smile. “Oh, darlin’, I’ve been pretty darn nice.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? You’ve been the antithesis of nice.”
“I’ve been far nicer than you deserve. Nicer than I rightfully should be, everythin’ considered.”
“Everything considered? By that, do you mean the fact that you knocked up someone else and it must have been within days of screwing me? Or that you didn’t even have the balls to tell me about that or anything else you did in any of our conversations on Skype.”
He closed his eyes and huffed out a breath. “Why do we keep goin’ over this ag’in and ag’in?”
Phobic (Phoebe Reede: The Untold Story #2) Page 6