“That’s great, darlin’. Thank ya for being so accommodatin’.”
“It’s fine. Honestly, I just want to go have a shower and forget about today.”
“I’m sorry it happened.” He moved toward me again, his gaze focused on my lips. “And that anythin’ I said made Jase think he had permission to touch ya against your will.”
He stood in front of me, and ever so slowly lifted his fingers to cup my cheek. Desperate for his touch, I was powerless to pull away. A frown creased his brow as his gaze focused on my lips. My breathing sped as I recalled his kisses.
God, I wanted him.
With him so close, invading all of my senses, I was unable to think of anything else. All I wanted to do was to press my lips to his and crash into him. Lose myself in the wonder that was us. To get carried away—all the way into my bedroom so we could get lost in each other again.
“I hear you handled the mechanics spectacularly this morning,” he muttered as he moved closer to me. “Not that it surprises me.” He was so close I could taste the mint on his breath. “There’s nothin’ you can’t do if ya put your mind to it.”
An almost silent whimper left me and I had to squeeze my thighs in an attempt to stop the burn he’d ignited.
“What’s Cassidee up to tonight?” The question was the only way I could think of to remind myself of the reasons I shouldn’t close the gap between us. Of why I shouldn’t let his good ol’ country boy charm seduce me again.
He dropped his hand and stepped away. “I should go.”
I ran my hand through my hair. “Yeah. You should.”
“If we’re in agreement ’bout the team managers, I’ll talk to Dale ag’in and give him the go ’head.”
I nodded, unable to look at him again without risking falling back under his spell. Letting out a sigh, I headed for the door. I held it open for Beau, trying to get him out before I did something I’d regret. Again.
When he reached my side, my hand shot out and grabbed his jacket. “Thank you for helping me today. I guess I was wrong, maybe I do need you—”
His gaze shot to my mouth, his eyes blazing as if he wanted nothing more than to throw me up against the door and kiss me hard, regardless of his fiancée.
The terrible thing was, I probably would have let him. I could picture it all in my mind and my body reacted accordingly. My thighs clenched to stop the burn between my legs and my breathing sped until I was practically a panting mess in front of him.
“—as a friend,” I finished, almost breathless. God, I was pathetic.
He turned away and nodded. “Yeah. We should be friends.”
Without another word of goodbye, he swept down the hall toward the elevator. I leaned against the door, before banging the back of my head against it a few times in frustration. The needs and desires Beau had ignited in me on my first trip to the US were back in force. Itches I couldn’t possibly scratch myself, but ones I couldn’t count on him for either.
It seemed ridiculous considering only hours earlier, I’d been pinned to the wall by Jase and I’d hated every second. I’d needed to get away. Now, that same action was exactly what I wanted Beau to do. Only it wouldn’t be unwanted, and I wouldn’t try to fight.
I sighed. He was just a dream now. Although, after seeing the way he looked at me it was clear I could have him back in my bed in a heartbeat if I wanted it. A word or two and a wayward touch, and I would be able to draw him back. I couldn’t do that though because it would only ever be a short-term thing. He’d still leave after we were finished and go back to Cassidee. Just like he had before. Even though the thought of his hands on my body left me desperate, I wasn’t so needy that I would allow myself to be the other woman.
Not again.
THE NEXT DAY, I stayed away from Richards Racing headquarters.
Even though I wasn’t worried about Jase, I still didn’t feel like going. Instead, I headed to the shops and grabbed a pint of ice cream. The shopkeeper looked at me like I was odd for buying the chocolate-chunk ice cream when it was cold outside. That didn’t bother me though—it was the comfort I craved, not the chill.
I wasn’t needed again for another few days, when Beau and I had some television interviews, and I didn’t particularly want to hang around the office without a purpose. Not after being responsible for the sacking of someone, who’d apparently been a valued team member. I was hiding because I couldn’t face the world. Instead, I spent time setting up the living room to allow the space I needed for the simulator.
For the next week, I did the same, only braving the interviews and then returning straight home afterward. Outside of the basic pleasantries, I didn’t even speak to Beau while I was there.
I finally braved the office again the following Thursday. I spent the morning with Jackson, who was far more accommodating and willing to work with me than Jase had ever been. I explained the set-up I was arranging for home, and he gave me some suggested tweaks.
Xavier caught up with me on my way out, and begged me to join him for lunch.
“I was worried about you,” he said. “After the way you left here last week, and then didn’t come back. You didn’t even call.”
“I just needed some time alone. Being attacked will do that to you.”
He rubbed one hand over his other arm as his brow dipped. “Come to lunch with me and you can tell me about it.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Then don’t tell me about it, but we should still get some lunch. No one else wants to go to Duke’s with me when you’re not around.”
I gave a small chuckle as he drew me out of my funk. “That’s because everyone else knows that having hamburgers and chips for lunch every day isn’t exactly a healthy lifestyle.”
He patted his flat stomach. “It doesn’t hurt me any.” His gaze travelled my frame. “Or you.”
“At least I’ve been trying some of their other menu items.”
His eyes flashed with victory and he grinned. “Okay then.”
“Okay, what?”
“You come to lunch with me and I’ll try one of their other menu items. Your choice.”
Watching his excitement, it was hard not to get swept up a little. “My choice what you eat?”
“Why not? If it means I get to have lunch with you, I’d eat almost anything.” He reached out for my hand.
“You won’t take no for an answer, will you?”
“No. I like spending time with you, and I’ll take as much as I can.”
“Fine then. Let’s go.” I wrapped my fingers around his. After all, I had nothing better planned, and he was the one person at Richards Racing who’d been consistently nice to me.
As we walked, and over lunch, he filled me in on what had happened in the week I’d stayed away. In return, I told him about my run-in with Jase and meeting with Beau. Everything except the way Beau had reignited every fire that had burned in me without a single touch. Xavier didn’t need to hear those sordid details. Not when he’d made it clear how he felt about me and how he felt about premarital sex.
When we arrived back from lunch, we passed Cash’s office and I saw him deep in conversation with Beau. Despite their apparently in-depth meeting, they both stopped to stare openly at Xavier and me as we walked past.
Beau’s brow dipped and his lips curled down. Every trace of friendship I’d seen in him the night he’d visited me and at the interview was swept away in an instant. I tightened my hold on Xavier’s showing Beau that I could move on—maybe even be happy—without him.
Xavier took it one step further and released my hand to sling his arm over my shoulder. In response, I tucked myself against his side. Something akin to pride radiated from him whenever he could be the one to cause Beau discomfort. I could understand it.
After that, I turned up at Richards Racing headquarters more often. Although I worried I’d be resented, most of the guys were actually accommodating to me. Beau and Cash still kept mostly to themselves and their team, but Jac
kson was actually great to work with.
Because he was far more agreeable and we complemented each other’s styles, we spent hours locked away in his office going over plans for the year’s racing. Particularly the opening races in February. He booked me extra track time for January and compiled stats and videos of the race tracks I’d be competing at.
The next few weeks passed in a similar fashion of strategy meetings with Jackson, lunch dates with Xavier, and trying with everything in me to avoid Beau.
Two weeks before Christmas, a little under two months after I’d arrived in the States, it all changed. It was a little after six in the evening on a Wednesday when my phone rang. It was a call from home. When Mum responded to my hello with a worried-sounded reply, my heart stopped. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s your grandfather.”
Panic flooded me at her tone and an image of Mum’s father came straight to my mind. “What is it? What’s happened to Pop?”
Mum gave a quiet sob and I wanted to demand she speak faster. “Not Pop,” she said after another quiet sob. “The other one.”
I froze. Dad’s dad? We never spoke of him or to him. Over the years, as Mum and Dad had forged their names in motorsports and entertainment management, Granddad Reede had traded off their success to set up a political career for himself. Despite how Dad felt about the importance of family, he’d never tried to mend the bridges Granddad had burned. He always said there was too much water under that particular bridge to try. “What happened?”
“He had a heart attack and he—he didn’t make it.”
“Oh God.” It was an odd sensation, to lose someone I didn’t know but was related to. His death rocked me—he was still family after all, despite the estrangement between him and Dad—but I wasn’t inundated with memories of my interactions with him like I had been in the moments when I’d thought something had happened to Pop. In fact, I didn’t have a single memory of Granddad Reede. I sank onto the bed as I tried to process the information. Overriding everything else was one thought. “How’s Dad?”
“He’s, ah, he’s pretty shaken.”
“W-when did it happen?”
Mum sighed. “Last week. The funeral is today.”
“What?”
“I know. No one contacted us. No one even let Dad know. I think that’s what’s shaken him and Nana so badly.”
“Did you need me to come home?”
“No, honey, stay there. I just wanted to let you know. It was going to be a surprise, but Dad was going to come over there for Christmas because you can’t make it home, but I don’t think he’ll be able to do that anymore.”
“I understand. Is Dad there?”
“Yeah. I’ll grab him for you.”
“Thanks. And thanks for calling to let me know.”
A moment later, Dad’s voice came down the line. It was clear he was upset, even if he hadn’t been crying.
“I’m sorry, Dad. I know you hoped he’d come around at some point.”
“You’re always so perceptive, Pheebs.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m as good as I can be. Death forces you to reassess your own mortality.”
I squeezed my eyes shut as his words sent unwanted thoughts through me. “You’re not that close to the end yet.”
“I know, but it still brings some things into sharp relief.” Like Nikki and me, no doubt. It was unspoken in our house, but my kidney issues and transplant as a baby had left me with a reduced life expectancy. I had no doubt that was playing on his mind anew. “You’re taking care of yourself over there, aren’t you?”
“Always.” I wondered whether Mum had told him about my night on the town. Or whether news about Jase had reached their ears. The way he asked the question made me think he didn’t know. Keeping secrets was never a good thing in our family, but sometimes helping Dad stress less was the better option. “Things are getting better here every day.”
At least that part wasn’t a lie.
“Have you spoken to Nana about Granddad yet?”
“Only via text. We’re both going to head to the funeral today, even though we weren’t specifically invited or told about his death.”
“Is he . . .” I trailed off, not wanting to sound callous but needing to ask the question. “Is he going to be buried near Emmie?”
“No. We’ve had nothing to do with it. His wife has organised the whole thing.”
“Wife?”
“He got married again a year ago. Her name is Wendy. I spoke to her for the first time today. She seems nice.”
I could hear in Dad’s tone how difficult it was for him to have discovered those things about his Dad only after death.
“I’m sorry he never tried to get back in touch.”
“Me too, baby girl, me too. Promise me that we’ll never have that separation. No matter what.”
Guilt twisted my stomach that there were things I was hiding from him. I wouldn’t let it come between us though. “Of course not, Daddy. We’ll always be as close as ever. No matter where I am in the world, I’ll only ever be a phone call away. And I’ll always look after myself as best as I can.”
I didn’t want to end the call too soon, but Dad needed to go to get ready for the funeral. When he ended the call, I didn’t put the phone down. Instead, I dialled Angel’s number. It’d been too long since I’d last spoken to her because our schedules conflicted so often.
“Hey, girlie. How are things going over there in hell?”
Without delay, I filled her in on everything that had happened in the States. The bike, Xavier, Jase, and the progress toward something of an awkward truce with Beau.
“Wow, sounds like you’ve had a real adventure so far.”
“Tell me about it. And the race season hasn’t even started.”
We chatted for a while, reminiscing and talking about the stuff going on at home then I asked her the plans for her trip. She was due to leave in just a few days. “About that. I’ve been called in for some shoots over the Christmas break, so I won’t be able to come over until the end of January."
“Damn.”
“I know, girlie. I wanted to be there for you, but I just can’t turn down this work at the moment.”
“I understand. Will you at least call me?”
“Of course. I’m going to miss you. It’ll be our first Christmas apart.”
“I’ll miss you too, my Angel. I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to seeing you again.”
“On the plus side, I’ve rescheduled my flights already.”
“You have?”
“Of course. I’ll be there at the end of January no matter what. I can’t go any longer than that without my Phoebe fix. I’ll be staying through to the fourth of Feb. I know it’s not long, but it’s the best I can do for now.”
“It’ll do for now. I miss you so much. I love you.”
“Love you too, girlie. I’ll send through my itinerary when Audrey sends it to me.”
I released a sigh. “Thank you. Can you do me a favour? Can you drop around to say g’day to Mum and Dad sometime over the next week?”
“Of course. Any reason in particular?”
“Dad’s dad passed away and I want to know that Dad’s doing okay. Especially coming so close to Christmas.”
“And you don’t trust them to tell you?”
“I don’t think Mum would want to worry me, and Dad probably wouldn’t tell anyone if he wasn’t coping. You know how he is.”
“Only because I know how you are and you two are too similar. Please tell me you’re not alone there at the moment?”
I hated that she knew me so well sometimes. “I am, but I think I might have to call up a friend for dinner. Don’t worry about me, I won’t dwell.”
“You will. I know you will. You’ll wonder whether maybe you should have tried to bridge the gap, and you’ll blame yourself for being the catalyst for their estrangement even though there was nothing you could have done. I’m telling
you now, both of those thoughts are wrong. He made his choices, and neither you nor your daddy is responsible for them.”
Even though deep down I already knew what she was saying, hearing the words aloud did help quell the unsettling feeling that had crept over me. “Thank you. I’ll let you get back to your day now.”
“Okay, Pheebs. Before I go though, you have to promise me you’ll call that friend you were thinking of and go out to dinner or something. Please don’t just sit around alone or you’ll dwell.”
“I promise.”
Once again, I’d barely hung up the call before I was on the phone again.
“Phoebe?” The voice on the other end of the line questioned.
“Sorry to call out of the blue, but I kinda think I need a friend right now.”
“Why don’t you come around to see me then?”
My lip twitched upward. “I think I’d like that. I’ll be there soon.”
“PHOEBE,” BEE GREETED me at the door. “Xavier said you were coming around for dinner.”
I forced a smile even though I didn’t really feel like smiling. I was just glad I had someone I could rely on. Despite the somewhat rocky start, Xavier was the best friend I could have asked for in a teammate—better than I’d hoped for after my first day. “Sorry to drop in with such short notice.”
“Nonsense, Cora always cooks for an army, so you’re more than welcome. Can I take your coat?”
At his invitation, I stepped inside and started to work on my coat. Before I could even get it off my shoulders though, Bee was behind me. His fingers slid across my bare skin as he guided my coat off my arms. For a moment, I thought he’d drawn in a breath as his nose skimmed my hair, but I pushed the thought from my mind. I was just paranoid after what had happened with Jase.
Once he’d stowed my coat in the cupboard near the front door, Bee offered me his arm. “Shall we?”
Phobic (Phoebe Reede: The Untold Story #2) Page 12