by Lyz Kelley
Trying to remember what happened only made her brain ache more. What did happen? Surely she should be able to remember. Would it matter if something had happened? Yes, came the quiet answer. She’d want to remember every single detail.
“Thad? What happened last night?”
“Nothing happened, Karly, beyond us getting stupid drunk and having a lot of fun. Honest.” He looked so amused she wanted to give herself a kick for asking the stupid question. “Now down that water and get some sleep.”
Frustration slipped in between the pounding in her brain. “I’ll take a shower and follow you in.”
“Suit yourself. There are only about ten minutes of hot water. You might not want to stay in there too long.” He pointed toward the clothes folded precisely on the nightstand next to the bed. “Your stuff’s here, and the coffee’s on a timer. It should already be brewed. Help yourself.”
Thad turned at the door to stare at her. His eyes scanned over every surface, paying close attention to each nuance, like a best in breeds judge assessing a dog. What did he see?
Did he see a lonely woman who was tired of trying to please everyone?
Or the woman who was barely hanging on, trying to control a small-town business?
Or the girlfriend he left behind?
The jumbled feelings plaguing her for the past several days were magnified by the power of three.
He stood, silently staring, silently wanting. Wanting something she couldn't give him. Then he took a step back. “Maybe I’ll see you later, Karly. Come on, Custer. Let’s go.”
She flopped back down on the bed. What the hell am I doing?
The earthy scent from his pillow aroused her senses and triggered her awareness of a natural need. She snuggled in and allowed the sensual dreams to pull her back into a deep sleep.
A couple of hours later, she got out of bed and grabbed her clothes, shoving her legs one at a time into her jeans. Within minutes, she was ready to leave, but paused to take one more look around.
There were no pictures. No books. Nothing personal. Like his childhood room. He’d kept his room tidy and limited to avoid his dad’s ire, doing everything he could to remain invisible.
But you’re not invisible.
“Oh, Thad. Please, no.” She went into the bathroom. His organized shaving kit sat on the shelf, neatly packed. No razor or toothbrush sat by the sink. Shampoo was noticeably absent from the shower’s cubbyhole.
Your dad’s gone. There’s no reason to be invisible anymore.
In the bedroom, his duffel bag sat in the corner, fully packed. She opened the top dresser drawer. Empty. The kitchen was the same. Dishes and pans neatly stacked. Thad had been in the cabin almost a month. Other than coffee in the pot waiting for her, the cabin looked like no one lived there.
Memories of conversations with Kenny surfaced. Little bits and pieces started gluing together. The developing picture wasn’t a puppy-and-kitten type image.
Determination infused her as she reached her car. While she drove her truck back down the ridge, memories and a clear motivation surfaced.
No one else in this town understood Thad. What drove him. His needs. His desires. The childhood demons that lurked in his mind. Feeling inadequate—wondering if he should end it all—thinking others would be better off without him.
He’d always taken the blame for his father’s rants and his mother’s spiraling, medicated decline into prescription drugs, sleeping pills, anything to numb her. He’d been forced to raise his little sister, who hadn’t appreciated having a substitute father, and made his life hell as punishment.
Karly pulled into the parking lot of the Tool Shed and tucked her hair into a baseball cap, then got out of her truck, propelled by determination.
“Hey, Bill. Got a minute?” Bill slid the pen he was holding behind his ear and gave her a friendly smile.
“Hey, pretty lady. What brings you in today? Do you need to order more fencing?”
She approached the counter, dragging her feet a little to give her time to think of a good way to pose her question. “I came to talk to you about Thad. I’m worried about him.”
“If you're worried about him, why aren’t you talking to him?”
“You know Thad. If he was a rock and you told him to roll downhill, he’d do everything in his power to push in the opposite direction.”
“He's never been one to take direction. Hope he learned to take orders.” Bill gave an uneasy laugh and shrugged. “What did you have in mind?”
“A job. The same stuff he did for you in high school. Stocking shelves. Running supplies. Anything to keep his days from being too long and empty.”
“Don’t you think he would see that as an insult? He’s not a boy anymore. He's grown. Besides, I'm not sure he’d appreciate you meddling in his business.”
Frustration made Karly cross her arms and lean against the checkout counter. “Anybody can see he’s changed, but Thad is one of our own. He's been to war. Seen some shi—um…crud. He's fighting the invisible battles of his own. I can see it in his eyes. We need to do something before he does something stupid.”
“I’ll tell you what I said to him—talk to Chase Daniels. He might have some work for Thad.”
“Isn’t he working on building out Gwen Keebler’s Thrift store?”
“Don’t think so.” Bill walked around the counter to straighten sponges on an endcap. “Dale Bryant’s doing the finish work. I think Chase’s replacing the Bainbridge sisters’ roof.”
“Gotcha. Thanks, Bill. I’ll head on over, see if there’s any work for Thad.” She took a step toward the door.
“Karly?” The concern in Bill’s voice put a chokehold on her enthusiasm.
“When a man comes home from war, there's things he can’t talk about. Things that make him feel guilt. Anger. Things he tries to hide deep inside, deep enough to forget.” Bill leaned against the metal display. “Don't push him, Karly. There are demons that hide inside every soldier. When they come out, they are nasty, and lash out at anything that gets in the way. Those monsters help make a good soldier, but they’re hell on wheels once the soldier is back home. If you get too close, you’ll need to be strong enough to stand your ground.”
“I’m not planning to get that close, but thanks for the warning, Bill. Besides, I'm stronger than I look, and Thad is someone worth fighting for. I know it. You know it. I want to make sure this town knows he deserves to be recognized. Did you know he was wounded? He has a whole bunch of scarring up his left side.”
Bill approached her with heavy feet. “Not many people know this, and I’d appreciate if you’d keep it to yourself. I served six tours overseas. I almost made it home in one piece, but I was shot on the last one and sent home.”
Her jaw hinged open. “I never knew.”
“A soldier rarely talks about the missions he’s been on, or the horrors he’s seen. We talk about our friends, the funny shit we pulled, and reminisce about the ones who are no longer with us. We talk about the battles won, but never those where we got our ass kicked. When I was shot, one of my buddies hauled me out of the line of fire and was killed. Every day, I see his face and feel the guilt. He died saving me. When I went to see his parents, I could only tell his folks he died for a good cause. Every day since then, I’ve strived to live a good life, to ensure he’d be proud of the man I’ve become. To make sure he did die for a good cause.”
The man’s teary eyes and quivering lip brought tears to her eyes.
“You’re the best, most generous man I know. Heck, you’re a pillar of this community.” She placed a hand on his arm. “You’ve provided equipment when the river flooded the town, dug cemetery sites when the ground was too frozen, sponsored several sports teams’ uniforms, and there’s probably a dozen things I know nothing about.” She took a step closer. “You don't have anything to worry about, Bill. If your friend was standing here today, he’d shake your hand and give you a good slap on the back. He’d be proud. And if I was your daughter, I'd be proud too
.”
She squeezed his forearm. “Are you okay? I need to see Chase about a job for Thad, but I can stay if you like.”
“Run along now. Just remember what I said.”
“I heard what you said, and what you didn’t.”
Bill nodded, blinked and hauled a rag out of his back pocket. “Stupid pollen. Gets me every time.” He winked at her.
Something about this town raised heroic men, men who had no notion how much people appreciated them. “See you soon, Bill.” She walked back to the truck and lifted herself up and into the driver’s seat, mentally listing all the soldiers in town. For a town the size of Elkridge, the small community sure had more than its fair share. Most likely because there wasn’t much to keep a person in town if a kid got an itch for more.
She drove the fifteen minutes across town and turned right on Elm Street towards Margaret and Patricia Bainbridge’s home. The bales of roof shingles on top of the single-story house meant she found the right one. Getting out of the truck, she squinted against the sun, hoping to have a quick word with Chase. The shadowed figure sliding back the curtains told her no way would she escape with just a quick conversation.
Seconds later the screen door swung open. “Karly Krane, is that you?”
“Hello, Ms. Bainbridge. How are you doing today?”
“I’m just finished trying out a new recipe, pomegranate lemonade. Would you like to try some?”
“I look a fright. I haven’t showered yet today, and am covered with dog hair.” Custer’s hair, not from the kennel, but the town gossip didn’t need to know the particulars of the source.
“You look fine, dear. How I wish I could have been born in your generation. No makeup. No hair teasing. No bra.”
“Ms. Bainbridge!” Karly’s eyes popped open wider. “How modern.”
“Oh, hush. Don’t embarrass an old lady. Since I’m no longer teaching, I don’t have to be as careful. Come on up. I’ll even get out the bin of my favorite sugar cookies.”
She remembered those sugar cookies. The flaky butteriness would just make a girl sigh.
Besides, Mrs. Bainbridge’s lonely face looked familiar. Karly had seen something similar when looking into her bathroom mirror every morning. The urgency to help Chase suddenly took a back seat. She could spare a few minutes for her former seventh-grade teacher. After all, the woman had spent hours trying to help wrap her brain around mathematics.
“Sounds like a good idea on a day like today. Just a taste, though. I don’t want to take more than my fair share from the boys on the roof.”
“There’s plenty to go around.”
Listening to the staccato rhythm of nail guns stapling the roof tiles, she made her way up the gray cobblestone pathway to the freshly painted white steps leading to the front door.
“Why don’t you take a seat, and I’ll bring out a tray.”
Karly lowered into one of the white wicker chairs with colorful flowered cushions faded from years out in the sun. She could hear a lawnmower in the distance, and spotted a robin in the elm. A few minutes later, Patricia, Margaret’s twin, came out carrying a crystal pitcher, followed by her sister carrying the glasses and a plate of small square sugar biscuits that made Karly’s tongue tingle with anticipation.
“Here we are.” Margaret poured the pink concoction and handed her the glass. The zest of fresh-squeezed lemons and pomegranate circled on the gentle breeze. “There.” She gave Karly a napkin. “Now, why don’t the three of us put our heads together to see about helping Thad?”
Karly stared at the two women.
“Close your mouth, dear, or you’ll let the flies in.”
She leaned back against the flower print and took a sip of the tangy-sweet drink.
Maybe helping Thad wasn’t going to be as hard as she thought after all.
Chapter Eight
“Karly, what are you doing?”
Her breath hitched, and she pivoted. “Thad Lopez, would you stop sneaking up on me?”
She hadn’t seen Thad for two days but, oh my, he looked edible in those jeans riding low on his hips and a black leather jacket draped over his shoulders. However, the menace in Thad’s tone made her cringe. Even the rescue dog standing next to her tucked his tail between his legs. “And to answer your question, I’m picking up poop. Want to help?”
“Don't play games. You know what I mean. I don't need your help finding a job.”
“Oh, that. Well, it wasn’t me, exactly. Well, I mean, I did stop by to see Bill, then he suggested I stop by the Bainbridge sisters—”
“Great. Now the whole town’s involved.”
The laser-focused anger emanating from Thad made her wonder if staying inside the gated kennel might be prudent. The pit-bull mix stared up at her while she took her time emptying the waste into a five-gallon bucket. Finishing the chore left her no choice. She lifted the latch.
“Not everyone is involved. Only the people who care. You know how this town is.” Karly set down the pooper-scooper and bucket before turning back to the man who was spouting steam like a whistling teapot, boiling mad. “We just want to help.”
His eyes narrowed, but he said nothing.
“You know how to use tools,” she continued, steering around the caution signs. “Plus, Chase needs help. It’s a win-win type of thing.”
“A win-win thing,” his jaw muscles ticked of time like a bomb counting down to detonation, “like tickling a meddlesome female until she cries uncle?”
“Don’t tell me the military turned you into Mr. Grey. You’re not into bondage and submission, are you?” She giggled and winked at Thad, hoping to turn his sour mood into sweetness.
“Karly.” His eyes narrowed further, and he took a step closer.
“I’m kidding.” She held out her hands to stop him. “No, really. I’m just joking.”
The way he looked at her mouth, she’d bet a twenty he wouldn’t mind kissing her into total submission. He could—without much effort. The fence clanged musically when she backed into the wire links.
His gaze followed hers and then shifted away. “Why are you trying to help me?”
“I told you before. Kenny asked me to, and this town supports the military.”
He moved closer, pinning her against the kennel gate. “And?”
She studied his jaw, which pulsed as he gritted his teeth, along with the muscles in his neck. His shoulders were tight with tension, and he was holding back a tidal wave of resentment. She could feel the strain.
“Tell me the real reason.” His tone was steady. Too steady. Like the silence before the rumbling of a storm.
“I…uh…”
He ran a finger gently down the side of her cheek and then brushed the pad of it over her mouth. She closed her eyes against the melting gold of his eyes. No longer numb with alcohol, she would remember how beautiful he was to touch. The precise lines of his muscles, his earthy scent, the heat of his skin. Her eyes latched onto his mouth, his tongue moistening his lips. “I…well…”
His hot breath against her skin weakened both her knees and the wall of willpower she had built against his ability to drag her in. He wanted her. She’d seen his need two days earlier.
“Why can’t you admit you want me just as much as I want you?”
His announcement liquefied everything in touching distance. Not just her knees, but her hands, feet, head.
She fought off the feeling.
No matter what, she couldn’t fall again.
Not for Thad Lopez.
He’d left her. He wasn’t there on the worst day of her life.
A day tattooed in her mind forever.
But her hands had different ideas and reached for his waist. The heat emanating through his shirt could melt chocolate, and made her want to let her fingers roam. She slid her hands up his chest to feel the thrum of his strong, steady heartbeat through her fingertips, slowing her breathing, and synchronizing her rhythm with his tempo. He hadn’t moved. Just let her explore.
He could be sweet, but she preferred spicy. She licked the corner of his mouth, and then took another nibble. And then gently sank her teeth into his chin. Beneath her hands, his muscles jerked.
She let out a heavy sigh. “I can’t want you. You’re dangerous to my health.” Besides, you need to be with someone else. I can’t give you what you want. Not anymore. She slipped out from between him and the fence and took several steps away before turning back.
He studied her, and then was holding her, kissing her, making her forget all the reasons why she needed him to stay away. His tongue pushed and tickled against her lips until she had no choice but to allow him entry.
Dangerous. Definitely dangerous.
He reached below the hem of her tank top, searching, skimming every surface, until he reached her bra and pushed it up, exposing her breast.
Ohhhh. Totally delicious.
He cupped her, his thumb creating the kind of intense desire she’d only experienced with him. Lifting the fabric, he took his time appreciating, and her nipples tightened and saluted him in response. He dipped his head and rested his mouth against her engorged nipple to blow hot air.
Then she felt his muscles vibrate. Ah. So she wasn’t the only one feeling like the world had shifted off its axis. His soft moans of pleasure had a way of filling her mind and pushing every last excuse aside.
Oh, God. We can’t be doing this. She gripped his hair and pulled. “Thad. You have to stop.”
His hands slid up her sides.
“Tell me, Karly. Tell me you don’t feel anything for me,” he whispered.
She groaned and laid her head on his shoulder. “I can’t.”
“That’s what I thought.”
He lifted his head to angle in, but she took a step sideways. “If we could keep this casual, it would be one thing. But nothing between us has ever been casual. It’s either all or nothing, and this time it has to be nothing.”
She shoved her hands into the back pockets of her jeans to keep from touching him, but his eyes skimmed down her front, so intense it felt like his hands were doing the skimming.
He released a breath. “You’re not nothing. You’re even more beautiful today than back then…”