by Sarah Price
Elizabeth had nothing to say in response. Familial obligation? It was a term she had never heard before but she knew, immediately, what Mary meant.
Mary tried to lighten up the conversation.“All of my kinnerand their families live within two miles of our farm, all of them except Junior. But he manages our other property. Why, I have over thirty-five grand-kinner already! My older sister has over fifty!”
“Over fifty?”Elizabeth gasped. She had enough trouble with just two grandchildren.“I don’t think I could keep up with their birthdays!”
Laughing, Mary nodded her head, the mood in the room lightening.“God gave me enough sense to keep a diary. That’s my reminder each year of who was born when!”
“Well, sounds like you have a good system,”Elizabeth admitted, still smiling at the thought of so many grandchildren.
Voices outside the window, down a ways from the house, interrupted their conversation. Mary glanced at the clock hanging on the wall over the stove.“Oh help!”she muttered.“Need to get moving along.”She stood up and carried her plate over to the sink.“Heading to town with Katie while the little ones are still at school.”Standing on her tippy toes, she peered out the window.“Ja, they’re ready for me, then!”
“Thanks again for the bread.”
Mary waved her hand as if it were nothing.“Don’t forget about your letter. And, if you feel up to it, come down for supper later tonight. James might stop by to visit a spell.”Then, without another word, Mary reached for her shawl and slipped out the door, never making another sound as she left.
A ball of energy, Elizabeth thought. She had no idea where Mary got it from. Despite being ten years younger than Mary and with a lot less burden, Elizabeth was tired just from watching her!
The letter. She glanced over at the counter where she had placed the simple, white envelope. Curious as to who might be reaching out to her, she took the two short steps from the table to the counter and retrieved her single piece of mail. It felt light but wasn’t flimsy. Definitely a card and not a handwritten note. She looked at the handwriting and noticed nothing familiar about it.
She slid her finger along the sealed flap and withdrew a colorful card. Trees lined the edge of a pond, the colorful reflection of their changing leaves lingering in the rippled water. It was a peaceful card and reminded her, just a little, of Atwood State Park. She flipped it open and was surprised to see the words“Just Elizabeth”neatly handwritten at the top:
Just Elizabeth,
Reinventing oneself must take a lot of energy. Eager to learn what the new design of Just Elizabeth looks like. Stop in for some apple cobbler some time and reintroduce me.
Just Carl
She laughed, feeling heat rising to her cheeks. My word, she thought, pressing one of her palms against the side of her face. Was she actually blushing? That thought alone certainly heightened her color.
Apple cobbler, she thought. With a smile, she set the card down on the counter but in a way so that it stood up and she could admire the pretty scenery on the front of it. Knowing she didn’t have much to do that afternoon, she thought that she might just take him up on that offer. It was the best one she had lately.
At two o’clock in the afternoon, the diner was all but empty. She pushed open the door, trying to be as quiet as possible as she did so. For some reason, she wanted to surprise Carl Carlson with her visit. She didn’t know why but the feeling ran deep. His teasing and friendliness seemed to welcome a little fun payback.
She sat at the counter, in the same spot that she occupied just five days ago. The television that hung from the ceiling was on but the sound was muted. She glanced at it, noticing that the weatherman predicted a sunny weekend with highs in the 60s. Not bad, she thought. Perfect for a nice long hike. She planned on revisiting Atwood State Park. She wanted to see the cabin, even if only from a distance.
When the kitchen door swung open and Carl emerged, a tray of clean plastic cups stacked upside down upon it, she greeted him with a smile and a cheerful“I heard there’s some wonderful apple cobbler at this place.”
He jumped, startled by her presence, but managed to not knock over even one of the cups.“Lizzy!”Setting down the tray on the counter, he wiped his hands on his apron and walked toward her.“What a nice surprise!”
“I hope I’m not disturbing you,”she said, half teasing as she looked around the empty diner.
He made a funny face.“I suppose we can squeeze you in, if you don’t mind waiting for your food.”
There was something appealing about Carl. She recognized the light banter as harmless and fun, but it was something she had never experienced before. On a daily basis, Carl, interacted with people, some familiar and some strangers. Certainly he had learned to navigate social interactions with just about anyone in order to survive. In contrast, Elizabeth rarely socialized with anyone outside of the PTO or church. Yet, with Carl, he put her at ease almost immediately.
“I can wait,”she responded nonchalantly.“Not much else to do anyway.”
He raised an eyebrow, a sparkle in his eye.“Is that a complaint? If it is, I can fix it. Movies, dinner…”He pointed to his fingers, counting as he listed things that she could do.
Elizabeth held up her hands, horrified at the thought that he might misconstrue what she meant.“No, no, not a complaint in the least. In fact, I’ve had a lovely week. Mount Hope is just what the doctor ordered.”
“Or, rather, the diner!”
She laughed at his joke and watched as he made her apple cobbler. She wondered about Carl Carlson with his two children, Ethan and Kelly. How did he happen to land in Holmes County, Ohio? It was a farming community that had more cows than people and more buggies than cars. It was an odd place for someone to set up a diner for his family. Of course, that question fell under her not-your-business rule and she knew better than to ask.
“Voila!”he proclaimed as he placed a plate in front of her. The apple cobbler with vanilla ice cream and whipped cream on top looked far too filling for Elizabeth. She had never been one to indulge in sweets. However, she had to admit that the smell of warm apples appealed to her on this chilly October day.“A dessert fit for a queen.”
Elizabeth glanced over her shoulder.“Is she here?”
“Who?”
“Queen Elizabeth.”
He laughed and lifted both of his hands, palms up, into the air.“The only queen I see here is Just Elizabeth.”He leaned forward, his elbow on the counter.“That’ll have to do.”
“Then I guess this is for me,”she said, knowing that the color rose to her cheeks. She scolded herself for acting like a young schoolgirl. It had been years since she had behaved in such a manner. In fact, she could only remember behaving this way with one person: William.
Too aware of his scrutiny, she took a bite of the apple cobbler, savoring the taste of warm apples mixed with cold vanilla ice cream. On an autumn afternoon, regardless of whether or not she had a sweet tooth, it was the perfect snack.“I received your card,”she said, dabbing at the corner of her mouth with the paper napkin.“That was kind of you to send it.”
“I’d say it was nothing,”he said with a twinkle in his eyes.“But then I’d be lying. And that’s one thing this good ole boy from Mount Hope doesn’t do: lie!”
She looked up and stared at him, unsure of what he meant.
“Finding a pretty card for an even prettier lady in this town isn’t easy,”he explained.“But I lucked out at one of the touristy stores on Main Street in Berlin.”
“Ah!”She liked his sense of humor. To Carl, everything was light and fun. He turned something as simple as sending a lovely card into a grand adventure. Yet, there was nothing threatening about him. He remained friendly but at a safe distance. She was enjoying herself, despite the awkwardness of conversing with a strange man.
“So I understand you are settling in quite nicely at the Troyers’farm.”When she looked up at him, a quizzical look upon her brow, he held up both hands in mock p
rotest of innocence.“Not stalking or anything. Ethan told me. I promise.”
She laughed at his feigned look of innocence.
“He’s a hard worker, that son of yours,”she admitted.
“They both are, indeed.”
“Yet they also seem…”She searched for the correct word.“Balanced.”
“They get that from their old man,”he boasted playfully, a gleam in his eye.
Another smile.“I see that.”
A serious look crossed his face. He rubbed his finger along the edge of the counter.“Truth is we use work for healing, I suppose.”
Setting down her fork, Elizabeth paused and waited for the story. No one started a sentence like that without a story close on its heels. Whatever it was, he wanted to share it with her and, despite barely knowing this man, she realized that she wanted to hear it.
“My wife died almost ten years ago…a car accident.”
Elizabeth gasped. But he wasn’t finished.
“My youngest daughter was in the car with her.”He paused, lost in the memory that Elizabeth knew still caused him much pain. She lowered her eyes, waiting for him to return to the present.“They never saw what hit them, never felt a thing.”He looked up and forced a smile etched in pain.“That helps, you know? Just a little.”
She didn’t know what to say. Losing William had been hard on her. She simply could not fathom losing one of her children. Somehow she found the ability to nod her head.“I do know, yes.”
“I thought so.”He stood up straight and folded his arms across his chest. It was a gesture to protect himself. She knew that much about body language.“It’s hard to heal from something like that. I threw myself into the diner, Ethan into the lumber mill, and Kelly was left on her own a bit, like a dandelion seed floating through the air. Only she landed on a plush plot of land and grew.”He chuckled, shaking his head as he remembered.“A miracle, really. God protected her from the pain, I suppose.”
“They turned out delightful, at least from what I can see,”she offered, knowing that it sounded meek but not knowing what else to say. She had only met Kelly once and, as for Ethan, he was like a ghost to her, an apparition that she rarely saw on the few times she left the cottage.
“They are delightful,”he agreed.“Resilient and delightful.”He chuckled to himself as if remembering some distant memory. Shaking his head, he added,“Wasn’t always that way but we worked on it and got there.”
A moment of silence fell between them. It wasn’t an awkward silence but one of understanding and respect. When he finally looked up again, the pain disappeared from his eyes and he smiled. There was a peaceful expression on his face, a look of serenity that struck Elizabeth. How could someone go through so much pain and yet find peace?
“So I understand what you mean by needing to reinvent yourself. I’ve been there myself, Just Elizabeth,”he added softly.“It’s a journey. It’s easier when you realize that you aren’t alone. What seems like a crisis to one person is merely a whisper in the wind of life to others.”
A journey, she thought. She hadn’t considered the fact that healing was a journey. Regaining her life was the final destination but she had no idea how to embark on the road to get there. She took another bite of the apple cobbler, considering Carl’s words. She worried that her journey had taken her down the wrong path. After all, rather than stay and face the memories, she had run away…far away from her family and friends. Why had Ryan encouraged her to go? What had driven her to agree to leave?
“I feel lost,”she whispered, avoiding his eyes.
“Of course you do!”He tilted his head, watching her reaction to his words.“It’s a shock and it takes time to find your way, Lizzy. But you will. I have no doubt about that. God is leading you…perhaps even carrying you…on your passage through this difficult time.”
“How did you get through it?”she asked, surprised that, for once, she had broken her policy of not asking personal questions.
He chuckled and shook his head.“Oh no,”he said, his tone light.“I can’t give you directions to your final destination. You have to figure it on your own.”Disappointment shadowed her face. He contemplated something to add to what he had just said and then, just as the door to the diner opened, the bell jingling to announce the arrival of an elderly couple, Carl leaned forward.“But I’ll let you in on one little secret…There’s more to Mary Troyer than meets the eye. A few afternoons with her and, just perhaps, the path will appear for you.”He winked at her and started to walk away.“Trust me on that one.”
CHAPTER 8
Elizabeth was reading her book when she heard the now familiar sound of a horse and buggy. Only this time, it sounded as though it was pulling into the driveway and seemed closer than usual, as if passing the main farmhouse and approaching her cottage.
Setting down the book, Elizabeth listened, surprised to realize that the horse had stopped directly outside her front door. Curious, she walked to the sink and peeked out the window just in time to see Mary and Katie walking toward her door.
“I hope we are not interrupting.”Mary said, although from her expression on her face, it was clear that she knew they were not.
Elizabeth shook her head emphatically.“No not at all.”She gestured toward the sofa.“I was just reading a book I bought the other day at the bookstore.”
“Kelly’s bookstore?”
Elizabeth suppressed the urge to smile. Of course Mary knew Kelly. Her brother Ethan worked at the lumber mill. And Carl had said that he lived nearby, although she hadn’t seen him since her last visit to the diner for apple cobbler. But the quaintness of the small town mentality struck her at the reference to Kelly instead of the actual store.
“Yes, Kelly’s bookstore.”
Mary nodded approvingly.“She’s a gut young woman.”That was a high compliment coming from Mary about an Englischer.
“We were heading to the market to get a few things,”Katie said, adjusting the pin at her throat that held her black shawl closed.“Thought you might like to join us.”
“Oh!”This time, Elizabeth couldn’t hold back her smile.
She wondered how many Englische visitors to the Troyer farm were invited to run errands with them. If she was a wagering woman, she would most likely gamble on none. From what she knew of the Amish, they were highly private and not always very welcoming of outsiders. Of course, that was exactly what Elizabeth had wanted: a place to think and reflect on what she was going to do for the rest of her life.
Now, however, Katie and Mary offered her a chance of a lifetime.
“I would love to ride along,”she said, sounding giddy and childlike. Her eyes drifted over their heads to the window. She could see the black buggy and the horse, a beautiful bay with a rich, black mane. She’d always loved horses but never had the opportunity to do more than just feed them carrots at her grandfather’s farm.“I’ve never before ridden in a buggy!”
The gleam in Mary’s eye told Elizabeth that she had expected that reaction.“Get your coat, then, and we’ll meet you outside.”
Elizabeth hurried into the bedroom to grab her black fleece and handbag. She glanced in the mirror, making certain that she looked decent enough. She hadn’t taken to putting on her make-up for the past few months, seeing no reason to fix herself when she was just sitting home alone. Now, for some reason, she quickly dabbed at her face with a foundation powder and drew a blush brush along her cheekbones. She blinked her eyes, liking how the light color added a fresh and rested look to her face. Perfect for running errands with Mary and Katie!
Mary stood by the buggy, waiting for her to shut the front door. She thought she saw Mary raise an eyebrow, perhaps noticing the new color on Elizabeth’s cheeks. But the Amish woman said nothing, merely stepped aside so that Elizabeth could climb into the buggy.
Katie was already settled into the back seat, her large black purse resting on her lap.
“So first time in a buggy, ja?”she said.
Elizabeth move
d to the far side of the buggy so that Mary could get next to her.“It is, yes!”
“Best shut the front window, then. The horse hair will fly into your mouth.”
No sooner had Mary offered the suggestion than Mary began driving the horse and buggy down the lane and toward the road. True to Katie’s observation, something began tickling at Elizabeth’s face and, before the buggy even reached the lane, she was plucking hair from her lips.
Mary laughed and reached up, unlatching the window from above so that it fell shut, the reins resting comfortably in a hollow so that she could still drive, even with the window shut.
“Better?”
Elizabeth nodded and turned her attention to the scenery. The buggy bounced on the road, the wheels rattling against the macadam despite being well oiled. The clip-clop of the horse’s hooves on the pavement sounded like music, a gentle rhythm floating through the air. The gentle sway of the carriage as it moved relaxed her.
Her eyes fell onto the backside of the horse. She watched as the horse moved, its hindquarters lifting gingerly as it pulled the buggy down the road. Occasionally, the horse would twitch its ears as if listening for some command that never came.
The horse seemed to know just where it was going. Most likely, it had pulled the buggy down this road a thousand times. It simply trotted on, waiting for a command to turn if necessary. When none came, it continued down Rt. 62 toward town.
The parking lot at the market was filled with cars. Toward the side of the building, Elizabeth noticed three Amish buggies parked under a three-sided shed. Until now, she hadn’t given much thought to where the Amish families shopped for food. She had seen them in the stores she visited but hadn’t paid much attention to the parking lots.
With expert precision, Mary pulled the buggy under the overhang and stepped on the brake. She let the leather reins hang as she slid open the buggy door and climbed out.